It was early winter, and the room was extremely cold. I was lying in snow-white warm bedding, tired and didn't want to get up at all. But I knew I had to get up. The bell had just rang. It was five o'clock in the morning. I had to get dressed in twenty minutes and gather downstairs for breakfast.
I am a junior servant in Momon Manor.
I put on my shirt and vest very quickly, washed my face with cold water, and put on my silver wig.
On the hanger is a coat with white stripes on a black background. Last night, I pressed it straight before going to bed . Wear it carefully, wear white gloves and sheepskin high heels. I look energetic in the mirror.
When I left the room, I met Simon who lived next door, and we hurried to the servant's dining room before we could even say hello.
The hall downstairs was full of people. A junior maid in a white apron covered with ash was lighting the fireplace. There was a choking smell in the air. It was the smoke from the damp dry wood when it was lit. The maid was a novice and had no experience of lighting a high-level fireplace.
Selena is the housekeeper of the whole Momon manor. She is over 40 years old. Her brown hair is neatly combed into a bun, and she always wears a simple black skirt.She has a serious personality and doesn't smile easily. Sometimes she can be stern and many people are even afraid to speak under her glare, just like the maid who made a mistake and is now shaking in front of Selena.
By the time I stepped into the servants ' dining room, it was filled with people. The long dining table was flanked by three or four men dressed like me and a dozen maids in pale pink cotton ponchos. I sat down in my seat and waited quietly for the arrival of the great steward of Momon Manor.
I was only a junior servant, and at the end of the table was Simon, who was also a junior servant, sitting next to me, whispering to me that a new maid across the street was very beautiful. The buzz on the table disappeared instantly when Aaron, the big housekeeper, walked in, and all the people stood up, waiting for Aaron to sit on the main seat of the long table.
Aaron has been serving at Momon manor for almost 40 years. From a young lad, he has turned into a white-haired old man. It's said that his family has been the head steward of Momon manor for generations, starting from his grandfather. Now his son is studying in middle school and will also become the steward of Momon manor after graduation. Time flies, leaving only traces on his face, but his life trajectory remains unchanged for decades. He waved his hand to both sides after sitting down and everyone sat down to start eating. No one spoke, no one made any extra movements, just a quick meal.
Suddenly the bell sounded, and two rows of bells hung on the snow-white wall. The bells were attached to a thin wire, and one of them was shaking.
The housekeeper Selina got up and said, ' Madam has woken up, now take the coffee. ' The two maids immediately put down the cutlery and hurried to the kitchen.
The servants left the dining table one by one, and Simon and I went to the main dining room. We neatly folded the white printed tablecloth on the long table and put it in a basket. Then we took out the newly dried tablecloth from yesterday and carefully covered it on the table.
There were some wrinkles on the pristine tablecloth, and I quickly ironed it with a water kettle filled with boiling water until the tablecloth was completely flat.
"The action is too slow, haven't you done it yet!" Two senior servants came in carrying a small table with silver tableware.
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"Already." I took the hot kettle and said respectfully.
senior servants put silver tableware in tandem and orderly.
"What are you still doing here! Go do your job!" A senior servant looked at Simon and me and said coldly.
Simon stood on the side and wanted to learn how to put tableware. After all, we were junior servants and had no qualification to serve meals. But unfortunately, the senior servants did not want us to learn what we should not know, they drove us away indifferently.
Simon and I had to go to the kitchen, which was very busy. The chef is a tall man with a big belly. He gives orders like a king and asks the cooks to help him. The fresh food has been put on a silver plate, which is hot and fragrant, and then covered with a shiny silver lid. I took the tray and walked out of the kitchen, standing upright at the door of the main dining room, waiting for the owners to serve, and then passing the food in.
Simon also stood beside me with a silver tray, whispering about the two senior footmen just now.
"What's so great about them? They are too arrogant."
"Shh, keep your voice down, you'll be heard." I said.
"One day I will become the personal valet of the Viscount." Simon said.
"Being a personal valet requires literacy," I whispered.
"I'm learning to spell. I asked John to buy me a book ." Simon looked out of the window and said, "The weather looks bad. Are you going home today?"
"I asked Aaron for leave three months before, just for half a day, I had to go back regardless the weather. "
"Go back for what? To give all your wages to your drunken mother?"I said,"She has to feed three kids. She needs the money"."Let's hope she doesn't buy alcohol with it right away," Simon sneered."You could have used it to buy a new pair of shoes.'
I looked down at my suede high heeled shoes; they were aging and, though I had scrupulously polished them, a careful examination would have revealed cracks at the edges. This was most dire and, if discovered by Aaron, might result in my disgraceful ejection from Momon manor.
"Just find a craftsman to repair it." l said, looking at the shoe, when I realized my socks were also worn out and could do with replacing. The patched-up shirt and worn-out shoe and sock ensemble made me look far more disheveled than I did in my past life.'
I remembered at this time in the past, I had just become a lower-class male servant in the Momon manor, clutching the wages I had earned in my hand. Ambitious, determined, competitive and striving for excellence,l used all my wages to buy decent clothes, books to study spelling and arithmetic, and bribing higher-level male servants to teach me etiquett
The busy day finally passed, I walked on a countryside road with a basket of bread baked by a cook.
It was a desolate winter in Yorkshire, the grass was tall, a few shepherd men passed by with a few sheep, their black furred sheep leisurely nibbled the grass, and a mongrel dog chased after them.
I took a deep breath, exhaled a lot of white mist, my nose was probably frostbitten and I was a little out of breath. This feeling made me uncomfortable and reminded me of a similar pain in my memories.
……
The man with severe frostbite lay on a dilapidated bed, breathing heavily.
Shepherd stood by the bed and asked, "Are you Owen?"
The man, breathing roughly and with a pale face, looked at Shepherd with fear and said with difficulty, "Shepherd... why are you here? You... are you here to give me... communion?"
Shepherd said, "No, I won't let you have communion. You will get better. I'm here just to... if you use the opportunity of my visit to do something like confession, then I would be glad. I am a priest, always grasping various opportunities to bring back my lambs."
After a long silence, the man gasped and nodded slightly.
The priest said : ' God 's mercy is boundless, my child, please follow me : ' I repent to the Lord Almighty... Confess to the ever chaste Maria... ', ' The priest paused from time to time so that the dying could keep up.
Finally, he said, ' Well, you repent... ' The man 's mumbling about something seems to exhaust his strength.
”I cheated him, betrayed him... “
The abb repeated, "You are guilty of deceiving others..."
The man's breathing is more rapid, his body begins to convulse, and big tears fall. He keeps repeating: "Deceive him and betray him..."
After a convulsion, the man's breathing gradually stopped.
The priest put the cross on the man and asked his neighbor, "Does he have any relatives?"
The neighbor said, "I don't know, he has been living alone..."
.... A cold wind blew, I shuddered some shudder, throw away the memories in my mind.
The cold death is like yesterday. I am not awake, I do not know whether I am still in the dream.
I am a lost lamb, I committed sin. I don 't know if the Lord forgave me.
If you forgive me, why yesterday all still repeat.
If there is no forgiveness, why let me come back with memory...
