Welp, that's an alien all right.

  The native had skin that was forest green. Two eyes, no nose, a mouth with big lips. Each eye was black with a single white ring. A lot of the triangular shape of the head came from oddly large ears. Given the color, Nick would have expected scales like a lizard, but the skin looked...soft. Maybe like green velvet or something. Maybe I'm looking at really thin fur?

  The alien was getting awfully close to the camera, as her eyes darted back and forth. Nick kept his mouth shut as he smiled. Don't want to show my teeth if they think that's a threat. He moved his own head back and forth a bit, leaned close, then backed away.

  Okay, how do I want to do this? Start with names.

  “Hello. I am Nick. You are...?” Nick pointed at himself, then at the camera.

  There was a pause. “Ktheg!lik.”

  Nick puffed air a moment, then gave it his best shot. “Katheeg!lik.”

  “Ktheg!lik.”

  “Kth...Kth...Can I just call you Kathy? Kathy?” Nick asked, pointing.

  “Ick. Ik!eh.”

  “Hello, Kathy.”

  “Ello, Ik!eh.”

  The other two aliens started talking or arguing with Kathy.

  Start with the most important thing. Nick picked up a can of tuna. “Food.” That got their attention.

  “Foo,” Kathy said, and gave an awkward nod. Nick nodded back, then put it down and picked up a bag of chips.

  “Food. Chips.”

  The alien leaned closer to the camera.

  Nick tore open the bag with a quick tug, then reached in and grabbed a handful and set it on the shelf in front of him. “Chips. One chip...two chips...three chips.”

  “Kih. Wa kih. Oo kih. Fee kih.”

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  Nick nodded again. “Yes. Good.” He held up a chip. “I...” He pointed at himself. “Eat...” He moved it towards and away from his mouth a few times. “chip.” He munched the chip.

  “I...give...you...chips.”

  He kept going like that, making gestures. It was a lot easier communicating with the aliens than it was with Petra. At least they had bodies and stuff. With lots of pauses and repeats, he gave them an English lesson for a long while.

  “Bag...bag of chips...chips in bag. I give bag of chips.”

  At that point, Kathy got excited. “You...gi...oo...ag...of...kih?” Will you give us two bags of chips?

  “Yes. I give two bags of chips. I give three bags of chips.”

  “You...gi...fi...ann...fi...ag...of...kih?”

  “Five and five is ten. Yes. I give ten bags of chips.”

  “Can...oona. You gi...fi...ann...fi...can...oona?”

  “Yes. I give ten cans of tuna.”

  Kathy did this odd thing where she leaned forward, then swung her head and shoulders side to side for a moment. Nick stared in confusion a moment, and Kathy did it again, and said something in her language.

  “I think that's 'thank you,'” Nick muttered. “Thank you.” He bowed and put his hands together.

  “...Ank...you.”

  “Petra, time to make a bag of chips?”

  “Seven minutes, eighteen seconds, Nick.”

  “Seven minutes, eighteen seconds...” he muttered. The aliens were talking excitedly among themselves. “How many bags of chips can we make today?”

  “Eighty-three bags, Nick.”

  “Start printing ten bags of chips, Petra.” They probably wanted an assortment of foods.

  “Yes, Nick.”

  Nick chewed his lip a moment, thinking. Kathy spoke up. “Ik!eh...you...izzz...oo?” It took Nick long enough to get it that he called himself a dumbass in his head.

  “Yes. I...am...two. Um...I...is...two. Nick and Petra. You are twenty-seven? I mean, you...is...twenty-seven? Ten and ten and five and two?”

  The aliens got all excited again, talking amongst themselves for a minute. “Ik!eh, you...say...en ann en and fi and oo?”

  Oh! They're wondering how I knew there are twenty-seven of them. Hm, how do I explain this?

  Nick spent a while on a bunch of words like see, big, small, sick, die, and so on. He got sick and die across with dramatic overacting. Then, he could finally ask some important things.

  “Kathy...You is sick?”

  “Esss...oo is sick.”

  Oh, shit. “Nick give sick?”

  Kathy paused. “No.” Phew.

  “Two sick, die?”

  “Yes...no...yes...no.”

  “Maybe,” Nick interpreted.

  Kathy paused again. “Ktheg!lik gi sick?”

  Nick grinned and held up a can of alien beans. “Small sick. Nick is sick...Nick is no sick.”

  Kathy responded by showing the wrapper of a snack bar. “Ktheg!lik izz sick... Ktheg!lik izz no sick.” Then, she held up an empty bag of chips. “Ktheg!lik izz no sick.” Next, she showed the empty can of tuna. “Ktheg!lik izz no sick.” Finally, an empty can of soup. “Ktheg!lik izz no sick.”

  Huh. I would have thought the fish would make her sick if anything would. Then again, there's like forty-something ingredients in one of those snack bars. I'm amazed we can each each other's food at all in the first place.

  “Ik!eh.”

  Nick could hear something extra in Kathy's tone. She shifted, possibly taking a deep breath.

  “Ik!eh no gi food, Ktheg!lik die. Ik!eh no gi food, en ann en and fi and oo die.”