The news of Madam Mayara Liafor’s death eventually reached every corner of Astadvran, Deorya and their allies. Even after her burial, Kani never set foot outside of his room and mourned quietly for his grandmother. Only Karel was allowed to enter.

  “You should go out soon, master. Everyone is worried,” he mumbled, letting his knuckles touch his cheek then prying away the silky tresses from his face.

  Again, there was no answer.

  Karel was undoubtedly worried about him. Even with his touches, he’s cautious, treating him like a fragile gss not to be dropped. Those gentle touches, however, grounded Kani. It kept him rooted to the ground, reminding him that there’s still someone beside him.

  “I also know the feeling of losing someone important to you, and I don’t want to sound dismissive when I say this, but you should still get up despite the loss. Your grandmother wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

  “How can she even see me when she’s already dead?”

  Karel huffed fondly. “That was rhetorical.”

  Kani curled more to himself, still embracing the rge pillow tightly but kept his face seen by Karel. The tter bent down, unexpectedly kissing him on the forehead.

  “Then, take some more rest. I’ll be off to attend to both of our duties.”

  Golden amber eyes followed his movements until the door closed. His mind still distraught at the hidden truths id bare to him. Perhaps, the only consotion was he had done nothing wrong and yet he couldn’t help but ask himself where things had gone wrong.

  Kani bmed his grandmother all this time and failed to realize her perspective. She admitted to acting like a vilin but she never harmed him in any way nor his father despite everything that had befallen his family.

  Hatred blinded his reason as he harbored and let it fester in his heart, nurturing it throughout the years to dispy his anger against the mistress and for what she did. Perhaps, he truly never understood his mother’s teachings.

  Thinking he had nothing more to lose, he left Deorya to start his life anew. He never regretted his actions back then but he’s truly blinded by the rage. A normal reaction to the situation, truthfully speaking, and he ultimately failed to confront it because he’s cking in every way. Power, influence and only held onto a little money. He’d been there both at the highs and dumps and Kani barely had anything then, a few gold coins and an isnd deed.

  He worked his way up from the bottom, from scraping and scavenging, even starving during days where they had nothing but clothes on their backs.

  Cashile and Hendrika helped him back then as they only had each other as supports and yet even with the struggles they’ve been through together, Cashile chose to succumb to his selfishness. Hendrika remained by his side serving him, not even having a family on her own just to serve him.

  He hadn’t cared about his grandmother after his departure, not even now, to be honest. But those words spoken to him carved themselves in his heart, that he shouldn’t have felt that way and yet he still did.

  Perhaps, I cared.

  Even if it’s during the st minute.

  And regrets would remain as regrets.

  In the same week, Kani emerged from his room and everyone fussed over him. The twins cried in his embrace and Hendrika had to reassure him too that everything would be fine and he would be able to accept what happened. Until one month and a half passed after the encounter, Kani eventually got back up from his feet.

  Mersya closely monitored his health despite his protests. This time, however, he met with a small accident and broke his wrist. “We might not see eye-to-eye, master, but your health is a top priority. I wouldn’t want the other master to nag me too. So, just see this as me doing my duty.”

  “I have healing magic too,” he argued, flexing his hand a little.

  “Yes, but for matters like this, it would be best to treat you physically with medicine. Everything doesn’t need to rely on magic.”

  He sighed. “Fine, I will listen to you.”

  Walce timely entered the medical bay and informed the master. “The extension of the residential area in the inner town will start in a month. With the firm in Ramaya already having their hands full, we might need another designer for the town.”

  Kani nodded in acknowledgement. “I’ll inform Karel soon about our next step. For now, focus on the other things.”

  Once Walce left, Mersya spoke bluntly, “You know, Master, it seems like it’s always up to Karel to decide about matters.”

  “His opinions matter to me.”

  “You put him on a pedestal. He’s a Ramayan and you know how selfish a Ramayan is.”

  “I do.”

  “You do and yet you—” Mersya stared at the master in the eyes and scowled. “Yes, I forgot that you fucking love that man. Even if he tells you to die for him, surely, you’d do that too.”

  “No, he won’t. But when I do, he might follow me.”

  “You two are pying this cat-and-mouse game for what? Tell me, how many years has it been already?”

  “I don’t know, to be honest. Ten, twelve… maybe fourteen years already?”

  “Oh Goddess of Mercy—” Mersya paused. “Oh, wait, there’s no fucking goddess of mercy.”

  “Mersya,” Kani softly chided, forgetting how vulgar this woman was even with her gentle demeanor.

  “Yes. I won’t tell him a thing but sometimes it really irritates me how you two look at each other and fucking yearns—”

  “I can only love him secretly.”

  Mersya frowned. “A Louvika.”

  “He will outlive me. I don’t want him to…” He shook his head. “I saw him grieve for his cousin. I don’t want him to be like that for the rest of his life.”

  “But, he will. Anyone could tell that that man loves fiercely. He loves you too, you know? Just why can’t you tell him straight up to—”

  Kani clenched his fists, eyes downcast. “He’s already given me enough, Mersya. I dare not ask for love.”

  “Love,” she echoed. “He has already given you that through actions. Are you fucking blind?”

  Kani then suddenly sobbed, much to Mersya’s surprise. While tasked to heal him, she turned him into a mess instead.

  “Master…” Mersya called frantically, discarding all the things she’s holding to the side. “Master, look at me! I—”

  “I know. I’ve always been cognizant of that fact,” he hiccuped as tears flowed again, “and Karel had done so much for me! I cannot ask for more! He fucking saved me and my everything! Should I be greedy for more? Tell me!”

  “Master, I’m sorry!” Mersya embraced him tightly, letting the master sob in her embrace. “I’m sorry. So, please stop crying. I really didn’t mean to—”

  “I left you for a few minutes and—” Walce hushed his voice seeing the master crying. “Should I get the master?”

  “Please.”

  Karel arrived ter, hair disheveled and eyes blown wide in panic. “What happened here?”

  Mersya stood up and bowed. “I’m sorry, master, I might have—”

  Karel immediately squatted on the floor seeing how distressed Kani was. He held onto his face and wiped his tears away. “Master, why are you crying again? No one will hurt you here.”

  He closed his eyes, not wanting to see how concerned those eyes were. “I know.”

  “Are you hurt elsewhere then?”

  Kani shook his head slightly.

  “Then, listen to Mersya, alright? She knows your body better than I am.”

  Kani nodded but continued sobbing his heart out.

  The blond stood up to his stature and commanded, “Come here.”

  The brunet buried his face onto his torso and cried more. Karel closed his eyes while he carded through the long tresses to comfort him.

  Mersya tapped his arm and mouthed, “I’ll talk to you ter.”

  After settling Kani in his room, Karel returned to the medical bay. Only a few steps in, Mersya immediately spoke, “I’ve known that Ramayans are sensitive…” She furrowed her eyebrows. “To an extent.”

  Karel sat down on the chair, face rigid. “In terms of what? Be specific.”

  “Nature, the surroundings.”

  “We are.”

  “And you’re also the ones who introduced the idea or let’s say concept of psychology. You know,” gesturing wildly, “the mind, psyche, shit like that?”

  “Where did your manners go, Mersya?”

  The elven woman snapped, smming her hands onto the desk. “I’m also angry, alright? So let me fucking talk. Because you,” she pointed at him in disdain, “are making a mess of Kani. He became psychologically dependent on you.”

  “So?”

  Flushed with anger, she shouted, “What do you mean ‘so’?”

  “I know what I am doing.”

  “You fucking not!”

  Karel heaved a deep breath. “Mersya, calm down, alright?”

  “You don’t fucking get what I want to say! You’re making Kani too reliant on you! How can he even—”

  With her inhuman hearing, she heard something crack in the air as the next words were spoken gravely, “Whatever happens between us never concerns you.”

  Mersya gritted her teeth. Despite feeling something coming on, she voiced out her sentiments: “I am concerned for the both of you! You are becoming each other’s poison, don’t you see?”

  “Mersya…”

  Now, everything’s becoming dizzying. She pleaded, nearly on the verge of crying, “Please, don’t indulge him too much.”

  “Kani has nothing left but a Trojka-forsaken family! A muddleheaded father, a fucking evil stepmother, and a scheming brother! What do you want me to do? Let it be?”

  The elven woman froze on her seat as his ragged, angered voice thundered in the room next. The cracks in the air widened, putting more pressure in the atmosphere.

  “He fucking lost his grandmother too! What am I supposed to do then? Leave him be?” Karel gripped onto the arm of the chair to the point of denting it. “And what? To let him kill himself too? Like how my cousin killed herself because of grief?”

  Choking out, “Master, I…”

  Walce held onto Karel’s shoulder, squeezing it with much force to ground him. “Master, keep it down or else Mersya will be crushed by the pressure.”

  Karel heaved deep breaths before standing up then hurriedly left the room. The cracks in the air eventually repaired themselves as Walce assisted Mersya to calm her down.

  “Master… he lost a lot of his loved ones to the war and to grief.” He soothed the back of her hands. “So please, be careful of your words next time. He does not look like it but he’s carrying a lot of burdens on his shoulders.”

  “I’m sorry, Walce.” Mersya choked on her tears. “I don’t know, alright? But, Master Kani is suffering too. He loves Karel, they…” She sobbed aloud, tears dripping onto her p. “I just want them to be happy but why is it like this? They both clearly…”

  “Mersya…”

  “I cannot understand why.”

  “You will understand it in time,” and Walce offered a little smile.

  Hendrika then entered the room with a tray in her hold. She gave the elven woman the cup of water, sat beside her to comfort her and said, “Master Karel is overprotective of Master Kani because of what happened in the past years. So, please forgive him this time.”

  “Hendrika…” Mersya called while the head maid patted her back. “Do you know… about the masters’ retionship?”

  “They are companions and intimately so.” She offered a small, wry smile. “They both went through life and death after all.”

  Mersya looked down on her hands, still being soothed by Walce. “I… I don’t know anymore…”

  Mersya stood frozen in the middle of the medical room for a solid minute, thinking about what happened st night.

  Walce knocked on the door, snapping her out of her trance.

  “If there’s one thing that I learned about Karel, it’s not to anger him. Still, I will nitpick him about other matters, but…”

  “Sometimes, there are things that should be left unsaid.”

  “Walce, you know,” she turned to him, finding him leaning on the door sill, “I didn’t know you can actually be fucking gentle.”

  Walce ughed. “Language, Mersya. Foul words don’t suit a dy like you.”

  Mersya rolled her eyes, making him ugh louder.

  “Well, firstly, good morning, but you’re actually needed in town. So, please attend to your duties.”

  She waved her hand at him as she snatched her medical bag.

  Walce frowned once Mersya left for the town and went on to find Hendrika. It’s about time to discuss this with the head maid. He had observed them long enough and it’s rather concerning.

  “Walce?”

  “I need to talk to you.”

  The head maid led him to a secluded spot and asked, “Is it about the masters?”

  Walce stared at the woman before him. Despite their age gap and varying experiences, she’s the right person to talk about this.

  “Yes. You’ve been with them for the longest time. So, what’s their retionship?”

  She gestured. “As you’ve known, master and bodyguard.”

  “I have a pair of working eyes, Hendrika. It’s way beyond that.”

  She chuckled dryly. “That’s right. But, I don’t want to meddle with whatever is going on between them. However, there’s one thing I know. Master Kani wouldn’t want to overstep their boundaries.”

  That’s a rather astute remark and he couldn’t help but spat impatiently, “Eborate.”

  “Master Kani had lost a lot during the past years and persevered because he wanted to escape his wretched home to travel the world instead.” She sighed. “He hasn’t mentioned that dream of his after he left his home but worked diligently to arrive to where he is now.”

  A beat of silence and she looked at him straight in the eye. “Many things happened even after that and if not for Karel, he could have died during the first attempt.”

  “He owed him his life.”

  “Precisely. Master Kani might have thought that Karel had already given him enough and asking for more—”

  “Is too much of a burden.”

  Hendrika solemnly nodded.

  He held onto his jaw, looking elsewhere. “Now, I understand why Mersya reacted that way.”

  “You saw how they act with each other. It bordered concern, true, but we all knew it was something more. Perhaps, love. They just chose not to act on it and instead pyed house for years.”

  “But, is it a good thing to let it be?”

  “We are but servants, Walce.” Hendrika smiled. “Who are we to interfere with their lives?”

  “I’m just concerned. What if it will become a problem in the future?” He frowned, imagining the worst scenarios in his mind. “Would it really be fine with you that they’re like this?”

  Hendrika walked past him, not even looking back as her words echoed in the empty corridor, “Love is also a double-edged sword, Walce. It could become their strength or their downfall. Either of the two, it’s an inevitable path.”

  She smiled to herself, reminiscing about a man she once shared struggles with, one she had always admired from afar and as, they were separated by their own foolishness.

  One chose to stay; the other led astray.

  “For love will always be the greatest thing a person will harbor for another.”

  lymsleiah