‘God, how long is she going to be?’ I thought to myself, stifling what must have been my seventh yawn in just the past thirty minutes, thirty minutes I had spent standing beside the entrance to Cilton Dives Amusement Park in wait.
As I stood there anxiously for Helen to arrive, accompanied by a mountain of trepidation alongside a bundle of erratic butterflies in my stomach, I wanted to once again kick my past self for not getting even the slightest bit of sleep the night prior. Even though I knew it wasn’t for a lack of trying.
The entirety of last night and this morning, I had found myself on edge, unable to relax and fidgeting constantly. It was so bad that after only twenty minutes since the call between Helen and me ended, and Sam had given me some of his clothes for the date, he proceeded to kick me out of his house. He had said it was to focus on his homework, but from the sigh of relief I heard from behind his front door the moment I was gone, I knew that wasn’t entirely true.
With one more rub of my eyes and face which thankfully, whilst not healed fully, was past the point of making me look like a beaten up panda, I checked my outfit, making sure no stains had managed to magically appear in between the few minutes that had passed between my last nineteen other checks. Once happy that I looked at least presentable, I looked around at the crowd of people swarming before me. All of whom were rushing through the entrance gates and towards the myriad of rides that could still be seen from behind the tall brick wall that surrounded the entirety of the park. The rides zipping and zooming at such speeds I could feel myself starting to get sick just from watching them in motion.
“Alright, let's go.”
I jumped into the air in shock at the closeness of the sudden and recognisable voice I heard beside me, wondering how she had gotten so close without me noticing the moment I realised who it was. I quickly looked to my left to spot the retreating figure of Helen as she barrelled passed me without even a glance and headed towards the amusement park. I simply stood rigid in place as I observed her, too lost in admiring her beauty from not having seen her for over a month. And god did I find her stunning.
Her wavy chocolate hair was placed into a high ponytail that swayed from side to side with each step she took. She wore a white flowy t-shirt that wrapped around the side of her shoulders, along with a pair of blue denim shorts that reached her knees. Even though I could only see her back, I was still left in a daze. I was only brought back to reality from the irritated tone of her voice as she swiftly turned around and faced me.
“Are you planning on moving anytime soon or are you going to continue standing there while you stare at my arse?” That, along with the tapping of her foot and the stern glare she held, gave me no doubts about her current mood.
“I.. I wasn’t staring. I mean I was, but not at your arse. It’s just so beautiful. You, I mean! Not your arse. Not that your arse isn’t amaz-.” Shutting my mouth before I could embarrass myself further and a brighter shade of red than I thought humanly possible, I quickly scurried along next to her.
“After you.” I turned to her and squeaked out, only to receive a muted grunt in return before she continued walking towards the entrance to the amusement park, not even bothering to check that I was following after her.
Seeing Helen’s clear disdain, I could feel my nervousness and anxiety begin to peak, along with a growing sense of nausea that grew with each step I took that made me question whether a place filled with rollercoasters was really the best idea. As we got in line and the stony silence between us continued, I rattled my brain for something, anything to say that could improve Helens mood.
“So… How’s school been this past month?” I eventually asked, thinking it was an innocent enough question.
“Much better. For some reason, I didn’t see any annoying idiots this past month like I usually do.” She replied, still not even glancing in my direction. Her eyes simply set dead ahead towards the line that seemed frozen in place.
“Ahh, I see…” And with that, I shut my mouth, resulting in the most awkward wait I had ever experienced. Slowly, we meandered our way to the front of the line after what felt like hours before finally being able to pay for our tickets and pass through the entrance and into the amusement park.
The moment we stepped past the gates, my senses were assaulted by a symphony of sounds ranging from gleeful laughter to terrified screams. The delicious scent of hot dogs and pizzas drifted through the air, making my mouth begin to water almost instantly. After a moment, both Helen and I tried to move forward further into the park, fighting against the swarms of people that crowded the path and towards a more open area where we could be able to see something besides the back of a person's head.
“Phew, thank god. Feel like I can finally breathe now.” I said in yet another failed attempt at conversation, receiving only a grunt from Helen before she began looking around the park and all but ignoring me.
“So.. What do you want to do first?” I asked, looking around at all the rides I could see, not expecting to receive an answer.
“The Descent.” Helen suddenly replied, pointing to her left after seeing the confused look on my face.
I turned to where she was pointing just in time to witness a carriage full of people begin to scream as they fell from the sky at a breakneck pace, their screams still able to be heard even as they vanished out of sight in an instant. It was with such a sight, witnessing the speed at which the ride moved, that the nauseous feeling that had slowly been vacating my system came back at full throttle, along with a large amount of both apprehension and fear. The truth was that I had never been to an amusement park before, so to say I was scared shitless would have been an understatement.
“Ah, to be honest, I’ve never been on a roller coaster before. Maybe we could do one of the slower rides first? Just until I get familiar with how it feels and all that.” I cringed at the whine and fear present in my voice. Yet Helen seemed to have barely noticed, walking confidently to the ride without even a backwards glance.
For a moment, I thought about simply leaving, after all, it wasn’t as if I was being forced to follow after her. But as I saw Helen’s retreating figure and remembered how I had treated her before, I decided that if this was what it was going to take for her to forgive me, then I would do it. I would not throw away my chance for forgiveness because of my damn fear and unease.
‘And who knows,’ I thought. ‘Maybe after seeing the terror in my eyes and the blood-curdling shrieks I produce, she might find me so attractive that all her anger just dissipates.’ I chuckled silently to myself before, with a heavy sigh and a large swallow, I swiftly picked up my pace, catching up with her before I lost sight of her completely, just as she reached the line for the ride.
The line to the ride felt as if it lasted a lifetime as I stood there nervously. My fear and anxiety grew stronger with each scream I heard and each person I saw violently throwing up as they exited the ride. Yet the moment we got to the front of the line and the carriage rolled to a stop in front of us, I wished the wait had lasted even longer. I watched in trepidation as the many nauseous-looking passengers all exited the ride, and it was with shaky legs and a pounding heartbeat that I stepped up, taking a seat at the very front of the ride along with Helen.
What happened next passed by in a blur. A monotonous voice could be heard as the large metal bar that was positioned above slammed down towards me, pressing me tightly into my seat and making me feel like a prisoner as it cut off any chance I had of escaping. Feeling a gaze to my right, I looked over to see Helen’s face mere inches away from my own and her eyes staring directly into mine. She looked at me with upturned eyes and a mischievous grin on her lips, the first time that day her expression wasn’t marred with some form of anger or annoyance. As the wait continued and I clenched my teeth in preparation, I thought I felt a small hand land on my upper arm and give a soothing squeeze. At least I think I did, I wasn't quite sure. In the state I was in a cat could have landed in my lap and I doubt I would have noticed.
Suddenly, the sound of machines coming to life rattled around us at the same time the death machine we were in began to edge and clank forward. I clenched my hands forcefully against the metal bar in front of me as the machine started to quickly build up pace. Before I knew it, we had exited the wooden hub area we had been in before and out into the outside world, soaring up high towards the sky with the entire park spread down beneath us. Though it’s not like I saw any of it with my eyes locked closed as they were.
This went on for god knows how long, until, after many embarrassing screams of panic, I felt the ride come to a stop. At that moment, moronically, I believed that it meant the ride had come to an end, forgetting how the ride got its name, and with a sigh of relief, opened my eyes. Immediately, rows of clouds blanketed my sight in arm’s reach as I was met with the sight of a drop so steep it seemed to head straight towards the centre of the earth. I promptly clenched the metal bar even harder than I thought physically possible as a girly shriek escaped my throat, to the clear amusement of Helen, if her snort was anything to go by.
“Oh god, oh god, oh god.” I muttered incessantly as I pushed my body against the seat in a vain attempt to get as far away from the edge. “Why did we have to sit at the bloody front!”
“Quit being such a baby, look at this gorgeous view.” Helen said in a gleeful tone before, to my complete horror, she began violently rocking back and forth, humming a jovial tune as she did so.
“Helen stop! For the love of god, stop! If I die on this ride, I promise you I will haunt you for the rest of your life.” Helen simply laughed, rocking with even more vigour than before. Enough that I thought I could actually feel the carriage start to tip closer towards the drop.
“News flash Adam, if you die from this ride, how do you think I’m going to make it out alive?” She quipped.
In my panicked state I didn’t even realise that, for the first time that day, Helen was actually talking and joking with me, just like we had over a month ago before I screwed everything up. However, before I could respond, to my complete horror, the carriage suddenly moved. In an intense burst of speed, the carriage went cascading down the steep drop, leaving any words I had planned to say completely lost. Replaced with that of more screams of terror as I shut my eyes tightly and did my best to keep the pool of vomit threatening to come out locked deep within my stomach.
This went on for what felt like hours, the ride throwing my limp body in every which direction, until, thankfully, I could feel the ride level out and come to a gradual stop. When I finally cracked open my eyes once again, I was greeted with the beautiful sight of the oak wood walls and the crowd of impatient park attendees all waiting for a go on the death machine. For god knows what reason. The moment the bar went flying up and off my chest, I all but leapt off the seat with energy I didn’t know I had, thankful for the feeling of the stable ground beneath my feet, before I sprinted towards the trashcan not far away. Copying the same action I saw many of the other guests do as they exited the ride.
After throwing up the pitiful amount of food I had in my stomach and feeling slightly better, I stood back up before looking back in search of Helen, having forgotten about her in my desperate need of a trash can. It was then that I saw her standing only a few metres away, watching me with a blank expression. An expression that left me with a deep sense of embarrassment as I suddenly remembered how I had acted on the ride and how I had just thrown up right in front of her.
Just when I felt she was about to show me a look of pure disgust or revulsion, and I got ready to call the entire outing a complete and utter failure, I watched as her shoulders began to shake. Before I knew it, her face had broken into a massive grin that seemed to get larger with each second, until she was breaking into a raucous laugh so loud she drew the attention of all the surrounding park guests. In response, I simply stood there, stunned, as well as for some reason feeling a strong sense of deja vu I couldn’t place.
Slowly, her laughter began to die down, turning into a light chuckle before she was finally able to stand up straight once more and make her way towards me. As she reached me I didn’t know what to do, unsure if her laughter meant she was no longer pissed off or she was simply laughing because of how stupid I looked. I wasn’t sure, so I simply stood there, frozen, waiting for her to clear things up.
“That was the funniest shit I had ever seen. You looked like you were one fright away from passing out.” Helen chuckled, as if she was remembering what had happened once again.
“Uhh, yeah, I guess.” I stammered out, still feeling lost at how she was acting. I was starting to wonder if maybe she was bipolar. It would explain the rapid mood swing I had just witnessed.
At my response she rolled her eyes, “Calm down I’m done acting like a bitch. After that ride, I think you’ve suffered enough.”
Stolen story; please report.
“Wait. You mean you're not actually pissed off at me?” I asked, hopefully.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself buddy, I'm still annoyed with you.” Immediately, I began to deflate, looking like a beaten-down puppy and earning another eye roll from Helen. “But I’m not as pissed off as I was pretending to be. I just thought, after what you did to me, you deserved a little punishment. And it was actually quite enjoyable watching the way you squirmed under my gaze.”
A mountain of relief overcame me at hearing such news, as well as a burst of happiness in knowing she didn’t hate my guts as I had suspected. Yet now that she was talking to me once more, I felt the overwhelming urge to once again apologise for how I acted before, since I hadn’t yet done so in person. “Helen, I’m so sorry for ignoring you, it wasn-” However, before I could even finish, Helen gave me a swat on the arm.
“Quit that”. She said with a scowl. “I swear, from how apologetic you are, you would think you killed someone or something. Besides, I kinda owe you an apology as well. When I planned out this little revenge scheme, I didn’t realise you had such a fear of roller coasters. I almost called it off when I saw how panicked you were before the roller coaster started.” She said, her face having gone slightly red in embarrassment.
Just thinking about the roller coaster made me shiver in fear. Yet with an air of faux confidence, I stuck out my chest. “What do you mean panicked? That ride was nothing. I almost fell asleep from how boring that ride was.”
“Oh, really?” She asked, amused. “ Maybe we should go back in line for another go around?”
“You know I would, but it was actually so boring that maybe we should go look at some of the other rides. Preferably the teacups or something.” I joked.
“Sure, sure, whatever you say.” She said with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen plastered on her face, looking even more spectacular than before. I wondered if there existed anyone in the whole world who could even hold a candle to how dazzling she looked at that moment. That was until my vision was blocked by her hand, rapidly moving from left to right in front of my face.
“Hello. Earth to Adam. You alright? That ride didn’t turn you into a moron or something did it?”
“Sorry, I zoned out. What were you saying?”
“Oho. What, were you too enraptured by my beauty to even pay attention? Not like I could blame you.” She responded arrogantly while flipping her hair in an exaggerated manner. Despite knowing she was joking, I still found myself unsuccessful in stopping the bright red blush from forming on my cheeks from being found out. A blush she soon saw and reciprocated once she realised that was truly the reason.
“Oh, uh, d-do you want to get some food?” She stuttered out, something that if I weren’t so embarrassed, I would have found amusing.
Upon hearing her offer, I felt my stomach twitch uncomfortably in opposition. There was almost nothing I wanted less after just throwing up than the assortment of greasy foods available in our vicinity. Just the smell of such food was making me nauseous once more; a complete one-eighty to the effect it had on me when we first entered the park. But wanting any excuse to move on from what just happened, and unable to think of anything else, I agreed.
“Absolutely, I’m starving, let's go!” I exclaimed quickly before beginning to march forward in search of food.
Eventually, after quite a few minutes of awkward silence as we walked in search of something to eat, conversation began to pick back up between us. Before we knew it, to my relief, we were back to laughing and joking around. Though I couldn’t help but notice the weird atmosphere that seemed to surround us. And if the blush I saw occasionally popping back up on her face was any sign, then I wasn’t the only one.
“What do you want to ride next? I’ll warn you though, if it's anything like ‘The Descent’, then be prepared to see that hot dog I just ate come back up.”
“Gross, too much info,” Helen replied, scrunching up her face and giving me a light shove. “Umm, how about the ‘Bouncing Rabbit'? Even children can ride that, so you should be fine.” Not liking the idea of what that ride was going to entail, but not wanting to emasculate myself any more than I had already done, I tentatively agreed.
The next few hours were some of the most agonising of my entire life, which was saying something. If it wasn’t for the fact that Helen was with me, I would have immediately left the amusement park after almost throwing up once again from the ‘Bouncing Rabbit’. Instead, I had to pretend I was alright and be subjected to ride and ride after ride. Until finally, Helen was satisfied, or noticed the green complexion of my skin, and decided to give me a break.
“Phew! That was great. I’ve always loved roller coasters, ever since I was a kid.” Helen exclaimed with a smile as we walked around the park in search of something interesting to pique our interest.
“That doesn’t surprise me. I bet when you were younger that you were an absolute terror of a child.” I remarked, unable to imagine Helen as a shy or quiet child.
“You’re not wrong there.” She snorted in laughter to her own embarrassment. “What about yourself? I bet you were a proper timid kid. All huddled up somewhere hidden with a little book.” She teased, making me bark out in laughter.
“Why thank you very much,” I sarcastically replied while weaving through the stampede of people to keep up with Helen, who seemed to glide through the crowd with nary an issue. “But you couldn’t be more wrong. I was a hell spawn of a kid, always getting into fights and arguments. Especially with Matthew of all people.”
“Really? So you two hated each other all the way back since you were kids? No wonder you got so pissed off during your fight. Can’t say I blame you.” Hearing her reply, while casual in nature, made me freeze in surprise, causing Helen to stop as well, looking at me with concern in her beautiful, hazel eyes.
“Adam, you alright. Are you feeling sick?”
“Weren’t you disgusted by what I did?” I asked, ignoring her question.
“What? Disgusted with what?”
“By what I did during the fight with Matthew! How can you say you don’t blame me for what I did? I fucking brutalised him.” Just with the mention of that incident, I could feel myself getting worked up and lightheaded, remembering not only what I did but the emotions I felt as well. The fear, the anger, the excitement. Soon, my heart was thumping with thunderous strength, and my chest began to heave with short, rapid breaths.
“Adam, you need to calm down; you look like you’re going to faint.” Helen gently grabbed my arm before dragging me to one of the benches, not too far away, that littered the park. Her arm ran up and down my own in a slow, hypnotic gesture the moment we sat down.
“Look, I don’t know where you got this bizarre idea that I was disgusted with you for what you did to Matthew. I mean yeah it was fucking shocking to say the least, but that was it. Alright?” Hearing the calm and reassuring tone she spoke in, I slowly managed to calm down and get my breathing in order.
I knew it was an overreaction, but I had just spent the past month thinking that she wouldn’t want anything to do with me because of what I did. So to hear that she did, it almost brought a tear to my eye. The only reason it didn’t was because of the last sliver of male pride I had that wouldn’t allow it.
After finally calming down, I let out one large sigh, releasing the last bit of tension and stress I still possessed before turning back to Helen. “Sorry about that, I don’t know what came over me. The truth is that after what happened with Matthew, I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me afterwards.” I brightly smiled towards her, feeling a weight lift off me.
“Wait!” She rapidly stood back up, looking down on me with her hands on her hips and with an angry expression. “Is that the reason you stopped talking to me for a month!? Because you thought I was freaked out by how you acted!” Seeing the guilty look that no doubt drifted across my face, she looked incredulous, her mouth rapidly opening and closing, unable to find the right words to say. Eventually, giving up, she pulled me up by the arm and began dragging me through the crowd.
“Where are we going?”
Just when I thought she was going to once again subject me to the silent treatment, she suddenly pulled me off to the side before coming to a stop in front of what seemed like an arcade. The sound of laughing and blaring music rolling out of the building in tides, with bright neon lights flashing wherever I looked.
“Because of your moronic thoughts,” Helen said with a stare, causing me to wince at the admonishments I no doubt deserved. “I’ve had to suffer quite a bit. So now you're going to make it up to me.” She spoke, her tone serious, yet the sudden smile on her face letting me know she wasn’t mad, causing me to let out a breath of relief before offering a smile of my own.
“Why of course. Whatever the lady wants.” I replied immediately, all too eager to take her up on the offer, performing a mock bow that made me cringe internally the moment I did so. Thankfully, from the chortle I heard, it seemed Helen at least thought it funny.
“Well then, after you.” And with that, we entered the arcade.
Thankfully, the time spent in the arcade was far more enjoyable than the time on the death traps this park called rides. Helen was clearly lacking in experience when it came to arcades, as for the first few seconds after we entered, she was in total shock. Trying to come to grips with the number of people, noise and lights present that seemed to increase in intensity the moment we stepped inside. But after barely a moment, to my surprise, she appeared in her element, jumping from one place to another with the most infectious smile I had ever seen. By the time we finished, there wasn’t a single game we hadn’t played. Air hockey, basketball, racing, shooting, we played them all. Even to my embarrassment, a dancing game that Helen all but begged me to play.
I loved it, not the dancing game, mind you, that I vowed to never touch again for as long as I lived, which was to say not very long, but spending time with Helen, laughing, joking around, and even flirting, or at least my attempts at flirting. It was amazing. And it was during this time that I came to a decision. That before this date came to an end, I would ask her out. Realising I wanted her to be more than a friend to me, and me more than a friend to her.
After we finished in the arcades, out of breath and sweaty, we walked back out into the now chilly outdoors, the sun having descended flat against the horizon, barely able to be seen through the colossal rides that surrounded us. We decided to go on the last few rides we hadn’t tried before, to call it an end. Rides, which to my relief, were far more relaxed in design. However, still not wanting the day to come to an end and having come up with a plan to actually ask her out, I quickly spoke up.
“Hey, before we leave, why don’t we go to the gift shop real quick?” I asked nervously, pointing to the gift shop only a few metres away.
“That’s perfect. I was just about to say the same thing. Seems like we’re really in sync.” She replied. “How about we split up and meet back up at the exit?”
Doing just that, we quickly split up. I proceeded to quickly scour the shelves for something I could give to Helen. Something that she would not only enjoy but that was romantic as well. A difficult task for someone with as little romantic experience as I had. I thought about maybe a stuffed toy, but decided against it, thinking that Helen didn’t seem like the type to want such a thing.
Eventually, my eyes were drawn to a myriad of snow globes that littered one of the shelves. One of which was of the ferris wheel located in the middle of the park, which I thought was perfect. As I grabbed it and headed to the checkout counter, I realised I would need to get something else, in case she wanted to see what I got. I quickly grabbed the first semi-interesting thing I could find, a colourful mug with some tacky writing that I would say was a gift for my father. As we met up and began leaving the park, both of us with our gift shop bags in hand. A sense of nervousness started to build within me at the thought of what I was going to do.
“Hey.” I started, “If it’s ok with you, would it be alright if I walked you back home, what with it being dark and all that?” I awkwardly asked, glancing off to the side, despite the sky being plenty bright with the sun not having fully set.
Thankfully, it seemed I wasn’t the only one who didn’t want the day to end, as with a light blush, she gave me a small nod. “Sure. I would like that.”
The walk to her place was different from the day we had just spent, our chatter more calm and relaxed. Our shoulders constantly brushed against one another’s with each step, yet neither of us made an effort to move further away. As we walked, I did my best to move as slowly as possible, wanting the walk to last as long as physically possible. Something which, if Helen noticed, she didn’t mention. Unfortunately, nothing can last forever, and so, to my regret, we found ourselves coming to a stop directly in front of a beautiful two-storey house, lined with head-high hedges and miniature porcelain statues of all different types. If I weren’t so used to seeing Sam's mansion-like house, I’m sure I would have been floored by its scale and grandeur.
“This is my place.” She finally said, fidgeting with the bag in her hand and breaking the silence between us. All I could do was nod, unable to say the words I had been planning during the entire walk here, my mouth adamant in its refusal to move. However, upon seeing that she looked ready to leave, drawing on the small dregs of courage I possessed and in a fit of urgency, I thrust the gift bag towards her, making her freeze in surprise.
“Here, I, er… got this for you.” I somehow got out. My eyes shut closed as my face burned up in embarrassment while I prayed in my mind that she would accept it.
A moment later, the sound of Helen's laughter could be heard, and for a heart-shattering second, I believed that laughter was directed at me. That was at least until I reluctantly opened my eyes and, to my shock, came face to face with an identical gift bag being held towards me. I looked back at Helen, who was shyly smiling towards me.
“It seems we're more in sync than I thought. I got this for you.” Before my brain could even register what was happening, I dumbly took the bag from her hands as she did the same with mine, my mouth agape throughout the exchange.
“Alright then, I guess I'll see you later.” And with that, she started turning away towards her house.
Realising I was going to miss my chance to say what I had been wanting to for the past hour, without even a single thought, I reached out and grabbed her arm, accidentally pulling her towards me until there was but less than a foot of space between us. However, I barely even realised, my attention instead focused on what I was about to do as I took a deep breath before looking right into Helen’s eyes. Eyes that were wide open in surprise from what had just happened.
“I like you.” I blurted out, forgetting the poetic words and speeches I thought of not even an hour prior. “Would you like to go out with me?”
The moment I confessed, I wanted nothing more than to shut my eyes in fear that she would say no. But I didn’t. I kept my eyes wide open, staring directly into hers as I waited for a reply with bated breath. The only sound I could hear was that of the blowing wind and more loudly that of my thumping heart.
Just as I began to prepare myself for the worst, to my complete and utter surprise, I watched as Helen quickly closed the distance between us, her head heading straight towards mine. By the time I realised what was happening, her lips were already locked against mine before she just as quickly she pulled back, leaving me motionless as I stood there gawking in surprise. The only thought passing through my mind was how amazing that kiss was and how I wish it hadn’t ended.
“Sure.” She replied with a beautiful smile, breaking me out of my train of thought before she quickly scurried up the steps to her front door.
“Talk to you later?” she asked in a giddy excitement.
“Absolutely!” I all but shouted in response, unable to control my jumbled emotions.
Flashing one last grin my way, Helen closed the door behind her, leaving me standing alone as I processed what had just happened, pinching myself constantly to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Seeing that I was awake, the largest smile I had ever had appeared on my face as I all but jumped into the air in celebration before I merrily began jogging back home, the sun having completely set by this point. It was only after I was halfway home that I was able to focus on anything besides the kiss Helen and I had just shared, as well as the fact that we were now dating. It was then that I realised I had left the gift I had gotten for my dad with hers in the bag I gave. A thought I quickly threw away as I once again thought back to the moment she said yes with a gigantic smile.
