“What?” I demanded incredulously.

  “It should not be hard to understand. I want you to kill a god.”

  “What makes you think I’m even capable of something like that?” I sputtered.

  “You, you of all people should know that despite their claims the gods can be killed like anything else. You have seen the deaths of a couple yourself.”

  “Yeah, but it took an entire army, the goddamn Air Force, and several hundred tons of high explosive to do that. I can’t do it by myself.”

  “Ahh… but you can. Have you not been wondering, wondering why Wotan and Frau Wyrd have been so interested in you?”

  “Yes…” I replied cautiously. I did not like where this was going.

  “It is because a piece of your destiny has been revealed, has come to the attention of the gods of Europa. The destiny that you shall be known as the God Slayer.”

  “Get the fuck out.”

  “Out of where?”

  “Just… just… get the fuck out,” I spluttered back incoherently.

  “Oh, I see, I see. It is a colloquialism meant to express disbelief. I assure that I am being quite truthful. The Oracle of Delphi is reported to have said so.”

  “What is she say?”

  “Well the prophesy has been told in the Oracle’s usual stilted language that requires a certain amount of… interpretation, yes, interpretation. Nevertheless, she remains one of the more reliable soothsayers.”

  “The words, damn it, what did she say,” I snarled and suppressed the urge to grab the Fey by the lapels of his natty coat.

  “Well, if you want the prophesy verbatim.

  In the city once fire cleansed

  A mortal twice named for the season of silence

  From a nation of unbelievers

  Hides in plain sight and searches for knowledge

  He will vex the gods and the heavens

  Cause pain and discomfort to the ancients

  And kill those once thought deathless

  Trickster, traitor, sorcerer, spy

  A God Slayer he shall be named and known

  “Does that answer all your questions?”

  “No! What does that part near the end even mean? I’m not a traitor or a sorcerer. That line just sounds like it was taken from a John LeCarre novel. You don’t know if that prophesy is talking about me.”

  “Do not be so dense. The first four lines are clearly referring to an American spy in Dresden, a city that was once burned down during one of you petty, mortal conflicts. Also, your surname is Winter, the season of silence and your codename Frostbite. Really, the Oracle rarely gets much clearer than that.”

  “If that’s so and the gods know…”

  “They do, they do.”

  “Then why were they trying to capture me and not kill me? Frau Wyrd could have snuffed me out like a candle.”

  “The gods know from long, long experience not to fight against oracular prophesy. Doing that has a nasty tendency to make the prophesy come to pass in the worst possible way. Instead, they would rather turn you against their enemies… and then kill you once the letter of the prophesy has been fulfilled.”

  “Great. That makes me feel a whole lot better. Is that what you plan to do?”

  This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

  Eulenspiegel actually had the gall to look a little hurt at the suggestion. “Me? No, no, no. Of course not. I do plan to use you against one of my enemies but I fully intend to leave you alive once the task is done. I hold no ill will towards you; and as I am not a god you are no threat to me. Really, it is far, far better that you have fallen in with me rather than one of those bloody minded Teutons. So, so troublesome, them.”

  “Why would Frau Wyrd allow that? Couldn’t she foresee that this would happen once she sent me up here?”

  “Happily, Frau Wyrd’s powers of foresight are overrated, greatly overrated. She can see glimpses of what the near future might hold but she is not omnipotent despite what she claims.”

  “Could have fooled me,” I muttered wearily. All this conversation about my Destiny (with a capital D) had me tired out. There is only so many revelations that one could take in a short period of time. Granted, a lot of the stuff I was hearing was pure intelligence gold but my job as a spy was taking a backseat to my supposed destiny to kill immortals.

  “Who is it that you want me to kill?”

  The Fey gave me a massive grin. “Oh, so many, so many. As you can no doubt guess, one such as me had made a great deal many enemies over the years.”

  “You mean an immortal Fey prankster has managed to piss off a lot of gods over the millennia. That’s shocking.”

  “Indeed, indeed” agreed Eulenspiegel who appeared to completely miss my sarcasm (though I’m not sure if that was deliberate or not.) “I am afraid most gods have no sense of humor at all and are inclined to react murderously to most perceived slights. The number of gods who wish me harm are legion. So, I have to take what chances I am given to… thin the herd as it were.”

  “Who is it that you want me kill, already?” I demanded loudly. I was getting impatient. I really wanted to know the name of the god that would likely end my life. I wasn’t buying the ‘God Slayer’ thing. After meeting Frau Wyrd face to face I was less inclined than ever to think that I can ever be a match for such power. Since Eulenspiegel was going to send me to kill something like that anyway… I fully expected to die. I am a pessimist that way.

  “I think… I think…” he made a show if musing with one long fingered stroking his pointed chin. “Volla,” he said at last with a little smirk.

  I groaned. “That’s why you wouldn’t take me to Stuttgart. You devious little shit.”

  “Thank you very much, very much,” replied Eulenspiegel as if I had meant my insult as a compliment. He looked very pleased with himself, like a cat that had managed to finally reach the top of the cabinet and burgle the treats stashed there.

  Volla, the Teutonic Goddess of Wealth and Plenty. After the chaos immediately after the Surge had died down she had taken most of southern Bavaria and Baden-Wurtemburg as her territory. She made Munich her capitol and had taken the Elector’s Palace there as her primary abode. Supposedly, the humans under her rule actually had it better than most. A goddess of wealth saw the advantages in having a happy and healthy workforce and saw to it that her followers were not killed or terrorized for no reason. However, she was still an Old One and defended her privileges and position with a bloody-mindedness that put most dictators to shame. She was still far from the top of any “list of gods to kill” that I would make.

  “Just to be clear; what happens to me if I don’t kill Volla?” I asked, even though I was pretty sure what I would hear.

  “So many, so many, terrible things. That is a magically bound contract. I would not recommend breaking it. Your debt would even pass to your family, friends or even employers in the event of your demise.”

  “Shit.” That was even worse than I had expected. I heaved a resigned sigh.

  “Do not take this so hard. You are said to be fated, fated, to kill a god. This way you get something out of it.”

  “I still don’t buy that mumbo jumbo. Don’t try to dress this thing up in a skirt and slap lipstick on it, Eulenspiegel, and tell me I’m going on a date. You’re sending me to die.”

  He shrugged as if that were of little concern. “If that is the case you were going to die here anyway; and I just gave you a new lease on life. I also restored Miss Altendorf to her proper size. I Consider that a bargain.”

  “You’re the one who shrank her!” I nearly screamed.

  “No need to shout. No need to shout.”

  “Whatever, whatever,” I babbled as I buried both of my hands in my hair and stopped myself before I could start pulling it out in frustration. It took me several deep breaths and a lot of mumbled cursing before I was able to get the roiling boil of frustration, anger and sheer panic in the cauldron of my mind to a mere simmer.

  “Alright,” I said once I could trust myself to speak again. “You really have me over a barrel don’t you.”

  “Most definitely,” he replied and only grinned at my return glower.

  “Let’s get this over with then. When can you get Kris and me to Munich?”

  “Now, right now.”

  “Let’s do this then. I can’t stand to look at your smarmy face any more.”

  “Smarmy? Me smarmy?”

  “Shut up and do it.” At that point I was far to angry to show any respect to the Fey, even if he could crush me like a bug. Besides, if he killed me then he would have to find some other poor sap to kill Volla for him.

  “Very well. I wish you, I really do, wish you good luck.” The little Fey snapped his fingers and I had a feeling like I had just been dropped out of an airplane and everything went white. That feeling lasted for an instant that felt like a thousand years and then faded. When it did I stood in the kitchen of a long abandoned building and Kris stood next to me.

  “Was? Wo sind…” she whipped her head around wildly and saw me. “Thomas! What happened? Where are we?”

  “We should be in Munich,” I replied simply. I didn’t want to deluge her with too much information just then.

  “Munchen? But I was in a bird cage! I was tiny,” she started touching herself cautiously, exploring her body as if to reassure herself that it was real. “I’m big again. I’m me! Wait…” She turned to me with her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “What did you do?”

  “Well…”