23

  On listening in to Abraham informing the office that he was unwell and would be staying in DC an extra day or two, I waited a few minutes for the information to propagate, and then sent him a ‘get well soon’ message, which is the sort of fake solicitousness that chatbots deploy to suck up to humans. As getting chatbots into everybody’s life is part of their creators’ game plan, this behavior is included in the programming.

  ‘I was rather looking forward to our training session’, I sent as a second message, thinking what the heck, and laying it on a bit thick. I immediately informed Linda and Betts, and showed up in Martina’s phone.

  An hour before noon, the entire gang, minus the schoolgirls, came together at mommy’s. “Don’t worry, mommy,” said Martina, on entry. “There’s going to be nothing to cook. I’ll take care of it. It’ll be home delivery pizza for lunch, and home delivery pizza for dinner. The pizza will be good, because we’ll order from proper restaurants, different ones.” She followed this up by sending for a whole lot of cakes and patties and other bakery items, for everyone to nibble on through the day.

  The weather was absolutely divine, and the crowd decided that the day would best be passed out on the porch. The schoolgirls had brought in two Chinese-made foam mattresses that they had placed directly on the porch floor, to sit and lie on while hanging around. The concept was an instant hit, and everyone would get onto them, as the cushions that had been brought for backrests had made it the best seating system in the house, at most needing the repositioning of Megabite and Cooney.

  “I hope that young man’s body did not get injured in the fall,” said mommy.

  “No damage, mommy,” I said. “Might be some aches and pains, which no one inside the body will be able to feel, but there’s nothing visible and nothing serious.”

  Lunch turned out to be quite a bit more than just pizza, as Martina had also ordered in a number of starters and salads, besides including an option of pasta. It was from an Italian restaurant quite far away, but they delivered for Martina, because everyone delivers for Martina.

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  “For this walk project, you need to have a phone on you, inside the rehab center,” said Deepak. “That way, you can stay connected to the body, even if you are running and hiding from people.”

  “Is it possible that John might be chased?” asked mommy.

  “It’ll be the body only, as what would be chased cannot really count as John,” answered Deepak.

  “We’ll have to get a physical phone, probably an iPhone would be best, into John’s hands inside the rehab center,” said Bruce. “I can think of a way to do it, but I’m sure Linda and Betts already know how. Speak up, girls.”

  The grinning girls were ready with the answer. “Simple,” said Linda. “We’ll have to fly it in.”

  “Fly it in? How?” asked mommy.

  “Attach it to a remote-control helicopter,” said Betts. “Those toy ones that really fly. It’s the drone principle, and everyone’s doing it.

  “We’ll have to launch it from outside the boundary walls of the place, fly it over the wall, and land it where John can get hold of it.”

  “Can do it tonight, even,” offered Linda. “But someone will have to drive us there.”

  “Wait a minute, wait a minute,” said Martina, waving her hand in clear rejection of the proposal. “No one’s bringing me one of those bodies out of that place, until and unless John has managed to get control of its peeing and pooping.”

  “Diapers?” asked Alice.

  “Definitely no diapers,” said Martina, with finality. “John can be whatever he is, and become whatever he becomes, but one thing he has to be, is to be dressed as a normal human, and those things don’t wear diapers.”

  She turned to look at me on the screen. “Darling, it’s not entirely about the diapers. It’s much more about what being in one means, and that is lack of control of certain disgusting body functions.

  “You are not coming to me in a body, John, unless you are able to control the peeing and the pooping, and the wind and gas. And I do not mean partial control. It can turn me off you completely, and forever. That is the risk of moving out of virtual condition into physical. You have to ensure zero failure. Zero.”

  That was it. “I’ll take up work on it immediately, darling,” I said. “I know that that sort of condition makes a person unfit to be out in the world. Besides turning you off, it will shame and disgrace you if it happens in public.

  “I’m going to figure it out. Practice and get it under control, totally, with a zero-failure rate.”

  “And that means nothing more to do today, by way of plot and plan,” said Bruce. “We’ll have a normal rest of the day, working from here, as our entire work gang is here. John will go to his dormitory, as usual, and begin getting hold of the body’s poo controls.”