Dinner was filled with gloom.

  On one side were me and dad, sitting on the opposite, were Abby and Mr. Will. All of us showed signs of needing to, almost literally, y down and die for a few hours. It was as bad as one might have expected, but at the same time, it was not. Abby seemed to regain some colour and spirit after having eaten. She was still very quiet though, having only said “it’s yummy” about her dinner and that she was sorry for not having helped in the kitchen. I told her it was fine, that the kitchen was too small for us to work together without bumping shoulders, but only lightened her mood once I proposed her helping me with the dishes.

  We all sat around the telly after we ate, most of us staring bnkly at the screen while Abby was more interested in my face as she huddled my arm. After a lot of staring, she got up and whispered something to my dad. He got up and she followed him, returning after a short bit with a bag of frozen peas we kept in the freezer to use as an ice bag. She held it to my face, telling me it’d help with the swelling and refused to let me hold it so my hands wouldn’t go cold. Through the corner of my eye I saw her repeatedly opening and closing her mouth, clearly wanting to say something but not being able to.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “…No, it’s nothing. Never mind,” she sheepishly said while looking away for the first time in a while.

  It had to be that, right?

  I asked her dad if he was ok with Abby spending the night at my pce before quickly adding he should stay here too. He was looking like a small breeze was enough to make him keel over. He contested about him staying, but my dad insisted, finally convincing him to accept the invitation. He made a commentary about us not having to ready the guest’s mattress as he was used to sleeping on the couch. He didn’t mean for his daughter to hear that, and none of us knew if she did. She had been hiding her face on my armpit ever since I asked if she could stay.

  This all led to us now. I was on the side of the wall, belly up, while she was on the other side with her back turned to me.

  She was acting too reserved. It was weird, me thinking that, but that was exactly it, and I wasn’t all that surprised. I had grown accustomed to having her all over me, so the fact she was putting distance between us was coming as a bit of a shock.

  What a pain…

  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think Abby wanted to stay with me just for that. My company was probably more than enough to make her feel more at ease. With that said, I wasn’t feeling satisfied, and I believed she’d feel even better if we cuddled like we did the other nights we stayed together. If only I were a little bit braver…

  Hold on… my hands!

  I held my face. Yup, cold enough.

  “Eek! Violet!?” she squeaked.

  “Sorry. I was just feeling cold. Should I take them off?”

  “No, it’s fine. I was just caught off guard.”

  I couldn’t see her face, but I’d like to believe she was with a tiny smile as she said that. We weren’t cuddling, but there was now body contact, and I was feeling better now.

  “Hey, Violet…”

  “Yes, Abby?”

  “…Actually, let’s not,” she said, shaking her head slightly.

  “No, please, tell me,” I said curious.

  “I’ll tell you some other time,” Abby said, gradually quieter. “I still have to think a bit more.”

  “Oh…ok,” I replied, a bit disappointed for not getting my curiosity satisfied.

  She took my hand off from under her arm to turn herself towards me and getting my hand back in her armpit and grabbing the other and pcing it under her head, even though that hand was warm. She proceeded to gently caress my face and lower lip. Normally I’d turn violently red, but this time I just gave a tiny wince as that part of my face was where I was hit.

  “It looks so painful,” she murmured, despite the room being very dimly lit, the only light being the one coming from the mpposts outside.

  “I-it’s not so bad,” I said, trying to hide the pain I felt, to no avail.

  She pressed her head on my chest murmuring an apology.

  I told Abby it was all right, pulling her closer into a hug and adding that, even if I was left with a scar, I wasn’t much uglier than before. She took issue with that though.

  “Violet, turn on the light,” she demanded, pulling her face away from my chest.

  Somehow, I had gotten her mad, and that scared me beyond everything I could have ever predicted.

  She stared at my illuminated face.

  “You are so stupid,” she told me very bluntly.

  “W-wha—?”

  “Didn’t you say your mother was beautiful?”

  “My… my mum? Well, erm, yes. She was really pretty.”

  “And do you realise you look just like her? I saw her picture on her gravestone, remember?”

  “Well, yeah… but—”

  “But nothing. If you look just like her and you think she was very pretty, then don’t you think you are pretty too?”

  “…I-it’s not like I think I’m ugly,” I muttered defensively. “I’m just more on the pin side.”

  She had me there. I truly believed my mother was beautiful. And even I couldn’t deny we were very simir aspect wise by the few pictures I saw of her. So, why was I so pessimistic? Nobody ever called me ugly, or at least I couldn’t remember anyone doing such a thing. In fact, because I was calling myself pin, wasn’t I, by proxy, saying my mother was too? I felt so bad for being so disrespectful towards her. I mean, sure, I wasn’t the most beautiful person in the world, but not recognising I had some beauty of my own was doing a disservice to mum, wasn’t it?

  “You’re right,” I said to her. “I’ll tell mum I’m sorry for all of this.”

  “Well… as long as you understand,” she said, clearly not knowing what else to say to that while hiding her face on my chest. “…You really are stupid. You are one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen, scar or no scar.”

  “…Sorry for being stupid. And, erm… thanks.”

  “…Hmm.”

  “…Can I turn off the light now?”

  “Not just yet,” she told me, revealing her face again.

  She just stared at my face, a tiny smile forming in hers as we kept staring at each other. Despite Abby looking sunken, her smile and eyes were mostly back to their usual warm, kind state. I couldn’t help but smile back at her, as seeing life again in Abby gave me a warm feeling in the stomach.

  “Ok, you can turn it off now, if you want.”

  “So, what was this about?” I asked as I flipped the switch.

  “I just wanted to see that face clearly before going to sleep.”

  “Why?!” I asked as I hit it under the sheet.

  “Why? Because it’s beautiful and I really like it!” she said, her voice trembling slightly.

  “But why? There is nothing special about…”

  “…Go on,” she said, her voice sounding like a dare.

  “No, it’s nothing. Never mind.”

  “Hehe, good, good.”

  I uncovered my head to look at her. I stared at Abby for too long, causing her to let out a nervous giggle as she asked why I was staring so intently.

  I wasn’t expecting to hear her ugh today. God, how had I missed hearing it. It still wasn’t her usual sounding one, but it was still very heartwarming and… “her”.

  “Hehe, you missed it, huh?” she asked, sounding embarrassed. Not as much as I was feeling though. Why did I have to blurt out the middle part? “Well… I missed yours too and… hearing your heart…”

  “My heart?”

  “Y-yeah… I can hear it a few times when we hug.” You mean to tell me, every time we hugged, she could hear it beat like a jackhammer?! “Could I… could I pce my head on your chest?”

  “Can we leave that for tomorrow?” I whined. “I’m too embarrassed right now.”

  “Why? And didn’t we do things that were a lot more embarrassing? Like, sleep and cuddle in the nude before?”

  “We were just bare from the waist up that time,” I scolded. “And bringing that up isn’t helping!”

  “Come on dear Violet. Don’t you want to make up for the lost time?”

  I chewed on those words. I would never admit it, but I would also be lying if I said I didn’t want that. But it was just as I had said. Right now, I was too embarrassed to have her so close to me. I mean, close-er. Anyway, I thought the only option I had was to compromise.

  “Can you give me a minute?”

  “Yay!” she cheered quietly.

  It took me a while, but eventually I was calm enough to let her rest her head on me. It was super awkward, but once I heard Abby’s pleased sigh and breathing rexing, I too was put at ease. It wasn’t so bad, having her ear pressed to my chest.

  “Violet?” Abby called, softly.

  “Yes, Abby?” I answered back in the same tone.

  “Sorry, you were so quiet, I thought you were sleeping.”

  I was going to say I was thinking the same, but instead I started to pay attention to the sounds coming from outside. I could distinctively hear people cheering and loud pops. Only after hearing that did I remember it was the beginning of the new year.

  I lifted my head towards the window. It was glowing alternatingly between red, blue, green, and yellow. I could also feel the cold air of my room stinging the skin that got exposed from the slightly lifted bnkets.

  “Wanna go check it?” Abby asked, her eyes on the window too.

  “Nah,” I said as I put my head back down. “It’s too cold outside of the bnkets.”

  “Hehe. Because I’m warm, right?”

  Unbelievably so. I felt like, if we were to start doing this more often now that it was cold and she was free from her mother, I could get so used to having her as a bedwarmer that, eventually, sleeping alone would be a problem.

  I didn’t say any of this, but Abby being Abby, she knew what my silence meant.

  “Hehe. Happy New Year, Miss Evergreen,” she said, sounding almost as cheerful as usual.

  “Happy New Year, Abby,” I said smiling. If she was able to see it, I don’t know.

  “So, what are your New Year resolutions?”

  Resolutions? Hmm. Couldn’t say I had any. For me, each year was always the same as before so…I never bothered with it. But how about her?

  “Hmm, let’s see… I want to get closer with Violet, I want to have lots more sleepovers with Violet, travel somewhere with Violet, go to the pool with Violet, see Violet in a swimsuit, get Violet to—”

  “Why do they all involve me?!”

  “Why? Because I have the most fun with you!”

  “Figures.”

  “Are you blushing?”

  “No!”

  “Hehe, you are! I can hear it in your voice and heartbeat.”

  She had me dancing in the palm of her hand, didn’t she?

  She was acting as usual, feeling me with a sense of happiness. At least for now, I believed my friend would be fine.

  “We should sleep,” I told her.

  “Yeah, we should, but… I’m sorry, but could we talk for just a bit longer?”

  I felt exhausted, but in those moments where we were dead quiet, I found it hard to fall asleep. It was the first time I had ever felt so tired, it was hard to shut my eyes and drift away. I had heard of it before, but I always thought it was just a thing of the imagination. Suffice it to say, I agreed to her request due to that, but also because there was this undeniable feeling of having missed our talks too.

  We talked and talked, slowly starting to sound quieter as time went by until she stopped talking and started drooling on my chest, lightly snoring as she peacefully slept, still on top of my chest.

  I adjusted my position to better hold Abby, kissed her head goodnight and finally allowed myself to sleep.

  When the morning came, I felt like I hadn’t had a wink of sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I liked a lot our time together during sleepovers, but due to how we slept and some of our conversations before we fell asleep, I was getting some… really weird dreams with Abby. Well, those reasons and puberty. I’m eighty percent sure it was puberty the main reason. Anyway, I woke up feeling pretty warm. When I realised that, not only we had cuddled the whole night again, but also that I had now half of my body resting on top of Abby’s… that made me sit up very awake, patting myself all over to make sure I still had my clothes on. Yup, all pieces were still there this time. I squinted at the phone screen, but my poor, drowsy eyesight couldn’t determine if it was five-thirty, six-thirty, or eight-thirty of the morning. To be clear, my vision isn’t that bad, especially at close distances. I’m short sighted after all, with a dash of stigmatism.

  Abby sat up as well, probably jolted awake by me, and looked at my phone before looking at me. She proceeded to gently grab my head from the back and giving me a smooch on the forehead.

  “W-w-what was that for?” I jumbled as a question.

  “As a… thank you for everything? Good morning?” she said, not seeming too sure on her answer.

  “C-c-couldn’t you simply have said it?”

  “You’re right. Thank you, and good morning.”

  “Erm… you’re welcome. Good morning to you too.”

  “…Nope, this feels more genuine,” she said as she proceeded to do the same before dragging my body down and covering us with the covers.

  “Abby?! What do you think you’re doing!?” I scolded her.

  “Rex, I’ll keep that for special occasions,” she said appearing not too bothered by my squirming and protests. “And also, It’s five-thirty in the morning. Let’s just cuddle and sleep.”

  I was too embarrassed for any of that, so I squirmed and protested while she held on to me. I then told Abby I thought I needed to use the bathroom.

  “You think?” she asked jokingly.

  “I need to! I definitely need to!” I argued back.

  “Well, ok,” she said as she let go of me and I vaulted over her. “But I’ll be waiting for my cuddles.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Just calm down a bit or I’ll get mad at you!”

  She stuck her tongue out, looking positively mischievous, that little imp.

  When I told her I needed to use the bathroom, I was lying. Even so, now that I was there, I took a good look into my reflexion. Seeing clearly now the purple circle on the left side and that burst lip made me feel… sad. After what Abby had told me yesterday—or rather, today, I now felt like the precious face mum gave me was damaged.

  Not wanting to dwell more on that, I washed my face and left the bathroom. In the corridor, close to my room, was Abby’s father.

  “Good morning, Mr. Gardener,” I whispered, having momentarily forgotten about the whole thing about calling him by the first name.

  “Morning Violet,” he whispered back. “How is she?”

  “She seems to be feeling better.”

  “I see, I see. Again, thank you so much for your help.”

  “No, no, it was nothing.”

  “No, it really was. Erm… Can I just have a word with you?”

  “Sure Mr. Gard— William.”

  “Well, erm… I don’t really know how to put it…Erm… I… I still find it weird but… erm… thanks for making my daughter happy…”

  “…Erm…thank…you?” I said completely unable to understand why he worded his gratitude towards me being friends with Abby in such a weird way. It was also really weird seeing someone his age and appearance acting so flustered.

  “Also…erm… the walls are thin, so…” he added.

  “Oh, sorry! I’ll tell Abby to quiet down,” I said as I covered my mouth with a hand.

  “Don’t worry. Well… I’ll excuse myself,” he said as he turned around and went back to the living room couch. I don’t think he slept that much, but I thought he looked a bit better than the previous day.

  “Violet? Who were you talking to?” Abby asked.

  She was peeking through the slid she had opened.

  I was talking with her father, I expined, as I went inside. It seemed like we had woken him up. She asked if we had gotten him mad, to which I told her no, just that he looked… grateful.

  “Grateful? For waking him up?” Abby asked, not hiding her confusion.

  “No, for me being your friend.”

  “Best friend,” Abby corrected as she let me get in bed first. “Still, is that reason enough for you to be like that?”

  “No, he just did it in a weird way,” I told as I curled myself towards the wall.

  “Weird? How so?”

  “He was all flustered and— Wait!” I practically shouted. “We are doing it like this!?”

  I was so distracted with talking about that conversation and making sense of it, I hadn’t realised she had spooned me in the meantime. She was even holding my hand close to my chest.

  “Shh! Not so loud!” she whispered harshly.

  I covered my mouth in response.

  She squeezed me tighter, and I felt her leaning her forehead on my nape.

  “Abby?” I called.

  “It’s nothing,” she muttered. “Let’s just go back to sleep.”

  “…Hmm.”

  I was feeling cold when I got into bed and she was very warm and sounded satisfied, so I decided to leave it at that. Although, it still felt a little bit weird.

  Shouldn’t it be the opposite?

  Was that my issue with it? That I was being the little spoon?

  “…Abby, turn around.”

  “No.”

  “It’s weird for me to be like this.”

  “But I want to cuddle!”

  “…I’m not saying… not to…”

  “Oh…! Ok.”

  With the roles reversed, it was still a bit weird, but… it felt better. She was the perfect size to fit me, her body perfectly contouring mine as I held her from behind.

  “I still want to be the big spoon every once in a while,” she told me, fluffing herself against me.

  Was she assuming we’d be doing this some other time? Hmm, yeah. And maybe we would. Who knows what the tomorrow will bring, right?

  And before I realised, with her warmness and softness comforting me, I was soon deep asleep again.