UnluckyPerspective

  For once Halloween had aligned with peak fall, and the street was bnketed in a thick yer of orange-and-red leaves. The air was brisk but not too brisk – the sort of weather that could be tolerated in-costume for an hour or two but which you probably didn't want to spend the whole night out in. Revelers ughed and screamed as they crunched their way up to houses, children babbling happily and high on sugar as they darted between doorways and bragged about their test hauls. Often the noise was punctuated by the growling and snarling of one of the animatronic props that sat out in front of the houses, or maybe a parent or the designated “responsible one” futilely trying to tell their charges not to run. Somewhere – way up the road – there was some dy screaming about demons and witchcraft and how everyone was going to hell or whatever.

  The usual sounds of the season.

  Ash and his friends stood out on the street, the four of them huddled together in their cheap costumes to better whisper and totally not because it was cold out, eyeing the long path that led up to the house. A low mist covered the property, drifting slowly across the ground and between the hedges before bleeding away as it crossed the tall cast-iron fencing that separated the estate out from the yards nearby. Trees – most of them bare but some of them stubbornly clinging on to a few browned leaves – jutted out around the path that wound its way through the gardens and up to the stone gate of the vaguely Victorian manor-house, the path unlit save for the Jack ‘o Lanterns on the porch and the ominous glow of the neighbor's lights shining off the mist.

  Ash was content to listen to their whispered arguments, huddled into his oversized hoodie and idly fidgeting with the cat tail attached to his belt.

  "I'm telling you, that house isn't usually here," Jamie whispered, staring up at the property through fake opera gsses.

  "Right. The house just appeared on Halloween," Eric said, dramatically rolling his eyes. He’d been pying everything up ever since he’d put on the top hat, and while the suit he was wearing was obviously cheap crap he still somehow made it look fancy. How do you make cheap shit look fancy? What the hell.

  "You think I can miss a yard like that?" Jamie protested.

  "Apparently," Eric confirmed.

  Mitchell interrupted the conversation by flinching hard enough to drop his cowboy hat. Everyone looked up at him.

  "The spider's back," he said, taking a step away from the sidewalk.

  A moment ter, a group of teenage girls screamed, running out through the gate and back down the path to the street, ughing as a nearly five-foot-wide spider chased them off the property. They took about three more steps past the sidewalk before actually stopping, huddling together and looking back at the enormous arachnid that had stopped right at the edge of the property line, and then the group devolved into a fit of mad giggles. The spider gave them a little wave with one of its legs. One of the girls waved back, and then the others all burst out ughing again as the spider did a little dance before disappearing right back into a garden that looked too small to hide it.

  And then it was still again.

  Mitchell creeped back up to the group. "Is it gone?" he whispered.

  Eric spped him on back with a ugh. "Come on dude, it's an animatronic."

  "We've been here for half an hour, and I've yet to see it repeat a movement."

  "It's a really good animatronic."

  Mitchell just gred at him.

  "If it bothers you that much there's a button under the sign that makes it go away for a bit." Jamie suggested.

  "That's for people who are actually going up the house." Mitchell protested.

  Eric stood up taller. "I'm doing it." He said.

  "What, pressing the button?"

  "No. I'm going up to the house. The sign says everyone’s welcome and Alicia’s got the car. It’s not like we’ve got anything better to do while we wait.”

  “Yeah but the spider-”

  “Fuck the spider.” Eric said. He straightened his hat, brushed some nonexistent dust off his suit, and then, raising his cane, he set off up the path whistling a jaunty tune.

  Mitchell looked more nervous than he was. He was pretty btantly hiding behind Jamie and getting more and more tense as Eric made it down the path.

  When the spider finally appeared, Eric barely even slowed, just tipping his hat and offering his best "good day to you sir!” as he powered on past it. It actually looked almost surprised, just pausing there before disappearing back into the undergrowth.

  “That was a little anticlimactic.” Jamie said. Mitchell just looked relieved.

  The group watched as Eric continued his trek, briefly disappeared behind the stone gate where the trail got all twisty inside the garden proper, then reappearing again as he approached the end of the path and the steps that led up to the porch.

  And then, entering the little pool of light at the far end of the path, Eric walked up the steps of the porch.

  He tapped the door with his cane, and a second ter it opened.

  Ash's jaw dropped. From this far away he couldn't really hear the conversation, but he could see it, and opening the door was the tallest woman he had ever seen. Taller than Eric even, dwarfing him despite the top hat. At least six feet tall, maybe even six and a half, something about the house was fucking with his distance perception. She was wearing a costume that was somewhere between a demon and a witch, with red skin and straight horns poking up through the brim of a very stereotypical bck witch’s hat. The rest of her costume continued the theme, combining the flowing bck robe of a witches’ outfit with a pentagram neckce and some suitably demonic accessories, but she had, however, taken some liberties with the gown, which had no sleeves and showed off some frankly incredible shoulders. It’s V-neck helped show off a little more of the fact that she apparently lived in a gym, and it also maybe showed some other parts of her on top of the neckce she was wearing. It also had pockets! Pockets filled with things Ash couldn’t identify from here, but which were definitely pockets.

  Eric said something that must’ve been funny, because the demon-witch lit up with an expression that made butterflies dance around in Ash’s stomach. The two had a short giggle-filled exchange before she ultimately handed him something and then once again closed the door with a little wave.

  Triumphantly, Eric returned to the group.

  "Full size Snickers bar." He said, shaking it at them before looking up at Ash. "Jeez, what happened to you?"

  "Huh?” Ash said, and then suddenly his ability to blend into the background disappeared. All eyes were on him.

  Jamie downright cackled. “Holy shit look at his face!”

  “He is down bad.” Mitchell agreed

  “I'm... I'm not.” Ash protested.

  "Like hell you're not! My dude you're drooling." Jamie said.

  "Shut up." Ash said, wiping his mouth.

  “She was pretty hot.” Eric said approvingly.

  "Damn yeah, now we know his type.” Jamie agreed.

  “She looked like she could bench press him man.” Mitchell said, getting on the teasing.

  “I bet he's thinking of a different kind of pressing” Jamie said, wiggling her eyebrows.

  "That's... that's not what… I'm-" Ash protested, because it wasn't, and what would that even mean, and adf;jafj. He did his best to tune out their continued banter at his expense while also attempting to organize his actual thoughts on the matter, because what were his actual thoughts on the matter?

  “... I'm going up there.” He said, somehow surprising himself.

  His friends paused mid conversation, exchanging meaningful gnces amongst themselves.

  Eric nodded first. “Sure thing. Go get 'em tiger.”

  “We’ve got half an hour if she invites you in, but don’t feel the need to rush.” Jamie said.

  “You think he’s actually got a shot?” Mitchell asked.

  “Hey, he’s got that ‘charming little animal’ vibe going for him. I could see it.” Jamie said, giving Ash a friendly shoulder-bump.

  “Huh, he is smallest tall guy I’ve ever met.” Mitchell admitted thoughtfully.

  "Guys stop being weird." Ash protested.

  “Go on, shoo! Shoo!” Jamie said, physically shoving him onto the path.

  And so, bolstered by his friends’ encouragement and maybe a little bit by his desire to escape them, Ash took a step towards the house.

  And then he stopped, adjusting his costume. It was, quite frankly, shit. Just a pair of absolutely terrible cat ears on his head and a crappy tail and- and that was basically it. He hadn't really committed to to the part, just put them on and then thrown his usual outfit of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie over top. He'd wanted to go further, but he just didn't really know what a catboy outfit that wasn't like, uh …y’know… was like. Not that that kind of outfit was bad, just that you needed a real good excuse to wear something like that. He’d wanted to, but he hadn’t been able to come up with anything convincing and also they were expensive which wasn’t really relevant since he had no excuse but he still felt the need to insist it to himself for some reason. In the end he'd basically just gotten a really cheap pair of cat ears and clipped a tail to his belt and that was his costume. And it was too te to change anything now. Not that he really understood why he wanted to change anything now, because at this point he was already going up to the house to uh

  … What was he going up to the house for? What was he doing? Was he actually trying to get a chocote bar? Actually, that sounded kind of reasonable. Yeah, he would go with that – he was after a chocote bar.

  And so, with a motive that felt kind of pusible, Ash once again set out towards the house.

  The path was dark, and spooky as heck. The mist made it extra creepy looking, and also what the hell was he even doing? Was he actually voluntarily seeking out a conversation? He was going to have to talk to this woman – to say words to her. Like, with his face. In her presence.

  He couldn’t do that.

  Why was he even out here? Was it too te to back out?

  Ash snuck a gnce back at the street, where his friends were watching him with a terrifying sort of enthusiasm. The kind that would be totally crushed if he tried to go back and which also would definitely “convince” him into trying again – by force if need be – and oh god there was definitely no way he could go back to them now.

  It was too te. He was stuck on this path.

  The walk felt longer than it should’ve been, and not only because he was doing that thing where he worried about literally every step. The yard didn’t look that much bigger than the rest of them in this little slice of suburbia, but somehow the walk made it feel bigger. It was like his steps didn’t take him as far, or that the perspective was off or something. Something felt weird. The street seemed to fade away, leaving a feeling of isotion inconsistent with the fact that he was probably two hundred yards from a talking skeleton and a crowd of children wearing Pokémon costumes. Even when he looked back everything seemed further. If he wasn’t actually thinking about it, he felt quite alone, which was super good when there was apparently a giant fuck-off sized animatronic(?) spider about to jump scare him when he walked through the stone gate that was getting much, much closer.

  Sound from the sidewalk still carried like normal though apparently.

  “Think he’s gonna make it?” Jamie asked from the street.

  Ash almost jumped. She wasn’t even talking that loudly, he’d just misjudged the distance.

  “Oh ye of little faith, he’ll be fine.” Eric said confidently. “I made it up there after all.”

  “Yeah but you’re big and brave and stupid.”

  “Ouch.”

  “I hope the spider doesn’t eat him.” Mitchell said.

  Ash could hear Jamie swat him on the head.

  The gate was getting closer and he knew that soon he would be out of view of his friends and could maybe get some peace. It also meant that he was fast approaching the bend where he could expect to be jump-scared, further increasing his heart rate and his inability to ignore every little snap and shadow along the path. The gate was just ahead of him now – only a couple more steps before he reached the bend where his friends wouldn’t be able to see him – which is also about when he remembered that he could see Eric confront the spider and that that meant it wasn’t beyond the point where the path curves.

  And then there was a crash, and he was face-to-face with red eyes and several tons of spider. The arachnid reared up on its back legs, fangs bared, fully towering over him as it releasing a screeching hissss that he was pretty sure spiders couldn’t actually make.

  "Hi!" Ash squeaked.

  Inexplicably, he put out his hand.

  The spider paused. Its way too many eyes watched him for a moment, cws and fangs still raised and creepy little mouthpart things wiggling as it considered the morsel that was frozen in terror in front of it. And then, slowly – very slowly – it lowered itself back to the ground.

  Stepping forwards, it pced a cw in Ash's hand.

  Ash shook it.

  "It's nice to meet you," he said, purely on autopilot.

  The spider kind of tilted its head (tilted its body? what do you call it when the whole body is attached to its head?), then withdrew its cw.

  Ash just stood there, not quite able to process what was going on.

  After a moment, the spider performed a little bow-nod-thing and scuttled back into the garden.

  Ash continued to just stand there, not quite able to process what had just happened.

  "... Did he just fucking shake its hand?" Mitchell said from back on the street corner.

  “Nice.” Eric said approvingly.

  “Points for bravery,” Jamie agreed.

  The banter was normal enough to remind Ash that he was trying to escape his friends again, and once more he set off down the path to get away from them – doing his best to ignore the still-audible mutterings as they began to tally up his points for all sorts of random things. The stone gate loomed ahead and he rushed through it, finally, finally reaching the point where the path thankfully curved to make it so that he was no longer in their eyeshot. Also, the hedges blocked out a bit of their babble. It got much quieter.

  And so, sort of alone for once, Ash took a moment to catch his breath.

  It was actually kind of a nice garden other than the fact that a giant spider lived in it.

  The mist was spooky and the shadows were eerie and the whole thing was really dark and every little noise still made Ash jump, but the pnts in it were clearly well-cared for and actually rather pretty under the moonlight, which lit the path better than he would’ve expected. And it was the moonlight that was lighting the garden. The hedges at the sides blocked much of the light pollution from the rest of the street, and while a little bit of light from the porch Jack-o-Lanterns made it down here it was clearly less than what was shining down from the sky.

  It was pretty. He liked the garden.

  Still, soon enough it was time to move on, and so Ash found himself stepping out of the mostly-darkness and into the pool of light created by said Jack-o-Lanterns on the house’s porch. Not giving himself a chance to think, Ash thumped his way up the stairs, right up to the beautifully-carved wooden door that led to his theoretical objective.

  It is here that his momentum came to an end. Ash stopped just in front of the doorway.

  What on earth was he doing here? How did he even justify this to himself again? His costume was awful and he was bad at talking and he didn’t know this woman and he didn’t know what he wanted and aaaaaa. Could he fix his costume? Was it okay? He couldn’t decide if he should take his hood off to fix his hair or pull it on even more so he could hide inside it. What was he even going to say? Could he say anything? He felt like the answer was no, but he was going to try. He’d made it this far, so he was going to open the door. He was going to open this door. For sure. In just a moment, once he’d worked up the courage. It was only a matter of time. He just had to reach his hand out and grasp the door handle. Which he was going to do. Any moment now. It was a thing that would happen. He was going to do it. Really for sure. In just a second.

  Ash fixed his tail again.

  The door opened.

  Ash froze as the tallest person he had ever met stepped out in front of him. His eye level overall only came up to like her chest height, which was really nice and a little bit on dispy because there was a window cut out of her robes and also it was super close to her abs which were on the way to the floor when he’d tried to respectfully pull his eyes away from the first thing and which had to be incredible considering he could see them through her robes and then when he’d attempted to respectfully pull his eyes away from that he’d looked up and accidentally made eye contact and now he was trapped, pinned down by the stunning eyes of someone way taller than him. He must’ve gotten the height wrong, she was easily over 7’, maybe even 7 and a half. He actually felt downright tiny. He’d never quite managed to feel short before – 5’10 was too tall to be short even if it wasn’t like tall tall but it also definitely wasn’t short – but the woman in front of him managed to make him feel short. Somehow he didn’t mind that?

  "Hello!" she said looking down on him with happy grin that had points to it.

  Ash opened his mouth, all ready to speak except for the part where that involved words. All attempts to communicate failed. His ability to coherently failed. Words no aaaaaa

  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  "What can I do for you, little cat?" the demon prompted, further sabotaging Ash's attempts to reboot his brain. She waited patiently, smile growing wider with every passing second until finally Ash was still not ready to talk but could.

  "I uhm, I read the sign and uh. And I would uh, want to um, I wanted to um..." he said, nervously and with herculean effort, only really realizing that none of what he was saying was necessary and that he was over-expining himself again after he’d managed to start talking. Really it all just served to make him more nervous. That was good. He needed more nerves right now.

  Ash stopped talking again.

  The witch raised an eyebrow, smiling the smile that made his heart do flippies. “Yes?”

  "I uhm. Trick." Ash said. The rest of the words were in there somewhere, but they probably weren't important.

  The demoness blinked at him. “Trick?” she asked, tilting her head a tiny bit, which was massively emphasized by the giant hat she was wearing in a way that he couldn’t help but appreciate.

  Ash nodded. There was no way he was going to get anywhere with words. Words were barely a thing. Had he ever been able to speak? He couldn’t remember.

  “Oh um, are you sure?” the witch asked.

  Ash nodded again. He wasn’t quite sure what it was he was sure about anymore, but he felt like yes was the right answer to anything she was ever going to ask him.

  “Shoot.” The demon said. She bit her lip, exposing a single, really, really cute fang. “I mean, I knew that was a thing that was like, part of the festival, but it wasn’t…” she mumbled, beginning to pace slightly around the porch as she thought.

  This of course also meant that he saw a tiny bit of her back when she turned around, and he’d never known how much he liked shoulders before. Shoulders were good. He liked them.

  “Oh, I got it.” She said, snapping her fingers and whirling around with an excited grin. “Your costume!”

  Ash got self-conscious again.

  The witch continued undeterred.

  “It’s not really a trick, but gmours are like illusions and illusions are like tricks so it’s kind of in the same genre. Plus I actually have the things I’d need to do it with. Would that be okay, can I treat it as a trick? Could I update your costume? Do you have anywhere to be tonight?” she asked.

  Ash gawped for a moment. “I, um. Party.” He barely managed to say.

  “You have a party tonight?” she confirmed.

  Ash nodded. It was easier than speaking, and frankly, it was incredible that he’d even got this much out.

  “Well, do you have a couple minutes for me to tweak your costume? It would only take a couple minutes.” The witch said.

  Ash stared bnkly for a moment, not entirely following what he was about to agree to before he nodded again.

  “Great great, come right on in,” she said, herding him into the house before he could give it a second thought.

  From the street, Ash could hear his friends whoop.