Me and the group made it home relatively easy, well as easy as one can get when you're driving in texas. I had E1 help with putting up the groceries and then i whipped up a little breakfast even though it's around 1pm right now but hey, i love a good brekky anytime of the day, sue me! Anyway, I sat down at the table with my mind conjuring up thoughts on what happened earlier.

  Sigh, i specifically didn't want any trouble yet trouble wanted me, well more specifically E1 but he's an extension of me at this point, so i'm responsible for him, ughh, who knew having a clone could be this messy, i could always dismiss him but i still have no clue if that would fuck him up or something, still, one of these days i might have to. Though I'd loath to remiss his heroism for me and Sadie, those moves of his, it was like he wasn't weighing in the 200’s at all. Well to be fair i never did actually check his weight, safe to assume he weighs about the same as me right? Well probably not anymore after he's done chowing down like it's the last supper. It's funny though, usually i'm quite hungry by this time of day, but now i don't feel the pangs of hunger too much, i wonder if it's the rings doing?

  I slowly go through my eggs and bacon and toast, tossing some of the smaller bacon bits Sadies way because she loves that stuff even though she and i know it's not the best for her, but a little treat every now and then can't hurt too much, especially when she can be credited for saving us with that keen nose of hers!

  I snatch her up quickly and start playing with her, scratching behind her ears. She's wiggling side to side, yipping and making a fuss, tail wagging excitedly, trying to lick my face, to which I deftly dodge, it's how we play sometimes and she lives for it so I say it's all good. I set her down so she can go back to her own bowl of The good stuff ?, while I motion for E1 to lend me his ears.

  “So tell me how you did it.”

  E1 tried speaking while chewing obnoxiously. “Did what?” Some of the morsels fell out of his mouth.

  I do my best to ignore it for now. “I'm talking bout that speed you possessed during the fight, I thought you could only do gravity shit?”

  E1 chugged a whole glass of orange juice before saying. “Oh yeah that was grav shit.” He said, tearing back into his eggs and bacon.

  “Ain't no way, how the hell does that make sense?”

  “Well I've kinda been practicing off cam.”

  “Off cam? The fuck you mean, i was with you the whole time besides the part where i went to The Great Digital Store.”

  “Ok ok, what i mean by that is, i got to thinkin-”

  “Whaaaaat, you can think?!” I say having a laugh.

  “Piss off, anyway, I got to thinking about the different applications of gravity, and what I found out in my head was, what's gravity but a push in a certain direction? So using that train of thought, i just said fuck it and started pushing myself with my gravity manipulation and it worked surprisingly well all things considered.”

  “Sooo does that mean you can fly yet?”

  “Dude I just started figuring out the applications for this gravity thing I got going on plus I don't think it's strong enough to do that yet.”

  “Aww then what's the point! Well maybe if you keep practicing you'll figure it out.”

  “So no congrats on figuring out how to propel myself, which could lead to me being able to fly at some point?” E1 said a bit dejected.

  “Oh yeah a congrats is in order, my bad if I'm sounding like a prick, it's just a lot has transpired today and I guess I'm still trying to process, do you think it's right if I treat this whole desire thing like a game?”

  “Do you treat me like a game?”

  “No? At least I hope not, though to be fair, I'm not sure if I've treated you right this day either.” I say somberly.

  “Aw don't start getting soft on me now slave driver! Get over it! Remember I'm just an extension of you, though I do have my own thoughts and opinions on things, all that is secondary to what you are and what you want, this life I've been given is thanks to you whether I like it or not, now does that mean we should go around robbing every bank we see? Probably not, but take a book from my page and try to live a little, express yourself and your opportunities mate, and don't bottleneck yourself, that's a great way of mucking it all up before we've even gotten started.”

  “I believe you meant to say take a page from-.”

  “I know what the fuck I said boss.”

  “Ok yeah y'know what, those are some pretty wise words, I'm just surprised they came from you/me.”

  “Yeah well, when you get to be as cool as me, you tend to live on a different plane of reality compared to you normies.” He said with a casual cheeky grin.

  “Did you just call me a normie? Y'know what, doesn't matter, could you turn on the TV, I'm tired of hearing you talk.”

  “Sure thing boss.” E1 grabs the remote and clicks on the telly. The local news station is broadcasting about strange sightings of humanoid looking creatures roaming about the area, some eyewitnesses reported seeing people turn into these creatures at nighttime but couldn't ID them. Rumors of cult activity in the area about people who aren't acting like themselves after coming into contact with “The desire.” The news outlet advises people to stay indoors during the night.

  I grab the remote from E1 and turn the TV off.

  “Fuckin up shite’s creek ain't it?” E1 said with some excitement for whatever reason.

  “Why do you sound not freaked out about all this shit? If you remember, we gotta go out and meet that old guy at night.”

  “Yeah, I look forward to it, hope we come across one of those creatures and see how scary they are, but a culty bastard to beat up is fine too.”

  “Whoa whoa whoa there E1! First, we are not and I repeat NOT gonna be looking for these so called creatures, it's probably somebody in a really enthusiastic costume. Second, we will NOT go and beat up on cultists! Maybe it's just a group of people who decided to make a fan club of sorts but either way, we are gonna avoid them like the plague, I want nothing to do with them.” I say exasperatedly.

  “Is that an order boss?” He said, tilting his head to the side.

  “... Why do you gotta make me feel conflicted about ordering you around?”

  “What? I'm not doing anything, and besides, you love ordering me around, else you wouldn't have set a workout routine for me just to see how it would improve my abilities.”

  “Hey that wasn't an order, i asked if you were ok with doing that and you said yes.”

  “Oh, yeah you're right but you did order me to clean up my mess afterwards so yeah my point stands!”

  “The weakest point stands, but no i'm not gonna order you on this, i would just like for you to act civilized and have some sort of decency about this whole thing.”

  “Do you know who you're talking to? I'm the pinnacle of civility and decency! But I will say I am glad it's not an order.” E1 said with a cheeky grin.

  “Sigh, just please no trouble tonight when we get goin.” I'm already regretting keeping my clone on a loose leash, I just don't like the idea of restricting one's freedom, especially if they look like me! And I'd really like to not deal with things that go bump in the night, thank you! Ughh why'd that old geezer wanna meet so late?

  Well I guess complaining about it ain't gonna change nothin’ so what to do until then? Oh yeah let's check the job section Roxanne mentioned, see what i can apply to.

  I reach my hand into my chest, still not entirely used to the feeling of static jelly but maybe that’ll change. As I go in, I am immediately accosted by green screened notifications.

  “Congratulations! You've done 2 of 3 good deeds! You've been awarded 10 coins. Also, you naughty boy, you've done 2 of 3 bad deeds! You've been awarded 20 coins. Also, you just got your first quest and unlocked the quest board!”

  “What? Uhh can you explain what I did deed wise, I'm kinda lost.”

  A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

  “Your first good deed was telling off that salesman, which in turn, stopped him from harassing other people. Your second good deed was making sure said salesman remained alive and called an ambulance for him.”

  Oh nice, I didn't even register that as being a good deed, I was just being civil, guess being civil can pay out huh?

  “Your first bad deed was letting your clone humiliate the salesman, hurting his feelings deeply. Your second bad deed was brutally beating him and then looting him afterwards.”

  Oh… that doesn't sound too good, but I mean it was self defense right? But is stealing also self defence? Prolly not, all things considered but doing that did get me 20 coins though, so it's more profitable to do bad things, but that would weigh on my conscience so I'll try not to do too much of that unless I have to… oooor I could go full villain, there's always that.

  Nahhhh, as cool as being the bad guy would be, I think I'm fine where I'm at, besides why do bad things when I can just get a job. Oh yeah what was it saying about a quest.

  “You've started a quest. Nighttime special: meet the old man at night before 12.”

  Nighttime special? What's the special part mean?! Fucking hell, it better not be some bullshit. And I like how it says nothing about quest rewards, but maybe those details are hidden or something, either way, I hope this will be simple and easy. Now then, it said something about a quest board?

  Just then a prompt appeared displaying one of those old fashioned, fantasy video game quest boards that wouldn't be out of place in a tavern except this board was empty, not a quest in sight. I go to touch it and then a message appeared saying. “You must complete the current quest first.”

  Dammit! The old man quest trapped me! What if there was some real easy shit like slay a rabbit or something, not that i've seen many rabbits around here, but i'm sure i could’ve found one! And then what, kill it? I'm not sure I have the heart to do that to be honest… Sigh, back to job searching I suppose.

  I mentally asked for the job section to pop up and a screen illuminated my eyes. “Welcome Eli! Welcome to the best and easiest job placement of your life! Here, you will find any job your heart could ever desire! Specifically tailored for you! Would you like to know what jobs we have available for you?”

  Oh boy do I!

  “Calculating available jobs just for you! Please give us a moment.”

  Wow, Roxanne didn't mention all this now. I wonder if imma get a cool job like astronaut, nahh that's way out of my scope, perhaps travel journalist, that'd be pretty cool! Or maybe it’ll give me some kind of fantasy job or something to do with my desire, but what jobs can I do with my desire? I mean technically any as long as they fall within my capabilities right? What jobs could a clone who can manipulate their own gravity and a guy with a slight healing factor do?

  “Congratulations! You've been selected for the Great Digital Store stocker position! You will start tomorrow at 12 pm!”

  Huh? Something must be wrong because there's no way my heart desires to work as a freaking stocker, at a store that I can't even curse in! Is there another job vacancy available perchance?

  “All job selections are specifically tailored for each individual, based on the needs of the system, you may change jobs at the start of next week whereupon a new selection will occur automatically unless you opt out by going to our company website. Have a good day!”

  What the fuck! Where's the website! I want to opt out!!! Nooooooooo!

  The screen disappeared, leaving me alone with E1, who was doing crunches on the carpet making grunting noises and sweating profusely. It was as i noticed him doing that was when i noticed my abs starting to throb in agony like i just got gutted by prime Tyke Myson!

  I doubled over, folded like a lawn chair, E1 noticed and rushed towards me with concern etched on his face, nearly slipping on his pile of sweat. Sadie came over to me as well, forgoing her usual activities to paw at my side, nudging me with her nose.

  “Hey boss, you ok?!” He said hovering over me.

  I grunt in abdominal pain. “No! It's like my abs are on fire and brimstone! What the hell happened! Did somebody come in and only go after me?” I clutch my belly, noting that the pain had stopped growing but was still very much present.

  “Uhm nothing of the sort happened, me and Sadie were just chillin, she somehow turned on the tv and started watching cartoons. I decided it was time to get some work in on this flabby belly of mine and got to it. I lost count after 200 though, counting is boring as shit unless it's that green ya’heard!

  “What? How are you able to do so many? And can you get me an ice pack please, my belly is tryna commit regicide!” I clutched at my belly willing for the pain to go away.

  “Yeah sure, and it's much easier for me to do with my gravity manipulation, remember? Man, I need to shorten or abbreviate that somehow. Anyway, since I found out that new tech, I've been implementing it into my workouts, and I can go for much longer I feel! Oh and here you go.”

  He handed me the ice pack and I placed it on my belly, under my shirt. “Thanks and that's pretty neat, I'm glad you're getting better at this, just like I knew you would. Argh i just wish i knew what's fucking me up.” Sadie remained at my side waiting for me to feel better.

  “Gravity control? Grav flux? Graviti? Oh yeah I'm sure you'll figure it out boss, imma get back to working out.”

  I can feel my ring doing overtime tryin to restore me back to proper health, it's very slow though, but i can't complain, this is my best bet, fuck hospital fees.

  I look over at E1 about to continue his crunches in a different spot from his sweat puddle as I try to get up from the floor. I managed to get on one knee when all of a sudden the pain came back and I toppled over again, crippled in pain. I noticed something that time as I winced in incredible discomfort, as soon as E1 started his crunches, that's when my abdominal muscles flared up.

  “E1! Stop crunching!” E1 did as he was told and my pain stopped. “Ok E1, do one crunch for me please.”

  “Ok boss, you sure you're alright, you're actin weird.” He did one crunch and just as I expected, my abs flared in protest.

  “Ohhh i understand it now! You're the reason why I'm in agony!” I pointed at him with an accusatory finger.

  “Whoa hey now, what's with the accusations boss?” He put his hands up like I was pointing a gun at him or something.

  “You! Everytime you work out it affects me! The reason why my arms and legs were sore earlier was because of you and your insanely high rep count! That's why i've been getting fucked up, wow that's crazy! This whole time I thought I was coming down with something or maybe that screen did more to me than steal my heart, but no. It was just you.” I calmed down a little from my anger there to ponder what this could mean.

  If him working out hurts me, doesn't that mean it's helping me as well? His work could be leading to my gains, but the pain is crippling, maybe there's a way around it.

  “Oh, well if you wanna get technical, you're the one who wanted me to start working out, so technically it's your fault.” He said matter of factly.

  “Yeah and how was I supposed to know that the stuff you do would come back to me? Wait, that gives me an idea!” My grin had some manic in it.

  “What? I don't like that look on your face.” He said with a tinge of fear in his voice.

  “Just be still for a sec, i wanna test something.” I go to pinch him in the arm hard.

  “Ouch! What the hell was that for?” He rubbed his arm in discomfort.

  As I pinched him, I felt it too, but not nearly to the degree that I did to him, to me it felt like a light pinch. Interesting.

  “Alright i just discovered something, it turns out that whatever happens to you, happens to me to a much lesser degree, say if you were to get punched in the face, i'd probably feel a light slap or something.”

  “Oh yeah? Wanna test it out mothafucka?” He said threateningly, raising his fist at me ready to strike.

  “Whoa no no no, I was just making an observation, one that could very well be to my benefit.”

  “Yeah because of fucking course it is.” He said, sounding pissed, crossing his arms.

  Sadie barked, displeased at our bickering.

  “Well sorry Mr gravity, but i'm glad i'm getting something outta this, while you work out and get stronger, i get stronger too, and maybe i'll lose all this weight. And why are you getting mad, shouldn't you be happy?”

  “Oh yeah i'm right fucking happy that my boss has found yet another way to capitalize off of me, and what do i get? Probably more work, piss off.” He said, throwing his hand in a disregarding gesture.

  “Actually, I was gonna suggest you work less.”

  “Huh? What did you just say?” He said with a wide face of confusion.

  “Yea, i said i want you to work less, i don't want you working out throughout the day anymore, instead, i only want you to workout at night when i'm sleeping. That reminds me, do you need sleep?”

  “Wow, the boss is actually thinking of me for once! Are you the real boss? But to answer your question, i don't think i need sleep, at least for now, my energy levels feel pretty good, i think as long as i eat and drink, i can stay up for a really long time but working out does drain me quite a bit, so Id need to eat more to stay functioning i suppose.”

  “Very Interesting, so that means keep the fridge stocked at all times, but i don't wanna go shopping every freaking day, maybe i’ll just have food delivered on a schedule or something, though that's gonna get expensive as all hell. Yeah I guess I should be glad I just got another job then huh… wait a minute, don't I have to work tomorrow for my actual job?”

  Sadie, seeing how the argument had died down, went back to watching TV.

  “Uh, remember when we talked about me going to work for you in your stead?”

  “Oh yeah you're right, I was about to start freaking out about how to do two jobs at once, thanks E1.”

  “No problem boss.”

  “Oh yeah, earlier you mentioned Sadie turning the TV on and watching cartoons? How the heck did she do that?” I went over to the TV and saw her enjoying some Jom and Terry, a true classic.

  “Your guess is as good as mine boss, all I know is I've seen some things appear in places they weren't before and the last time I checked, I didn't touch ‘em, yet Sadie didn't touch ‘em either.” He explained while going to get a mop and disinfectant.

  I scritch behind Sadie's ears. “Is that so? Sadie, did you really turn on the TV?”

  She barked in the positive, not looking away from the show.

  Ok can she actually understand me or am I trippin?

  “Hey Sadie, could you bark twice for me if you understand what I'm saying.”

  I expected her to bark immediately, but she didn't. Instead what happened was the remote started floating next to me and the pause button being pressed, the classic Jom and Terry show pausing right when Bluto the bulldog was about to start answering a ringing phone. The remote floated back down and Sadie turned her head towards me and barked twice.