Ah. It's that dream again

  “I’m sorry to say that your son has a... Terminal illness that greatly weakens his body, makes his body fragile and is greatly weak to heat.”

  A voice filled with sympathy was heard from somewhere.

  I was sitting on the seat next to my mom.

  I looked at my mom, her hand trembled, her face pale...

  Hey... Why are you making that expression?

  "I understand,"She said as she looked at the reports and walked away. I quickly got up and followed her.

  She almost fell multiple times when trying to walk.

  We walked home. I was sweltering from the heat and could barely walk, but seeing her dejected face pained me, so I held it in.

  When we reached home, I almost colpsed on the floor but managed to stay upright until I reached my room and fainted on the bed.

  I woke up soon. It was after midnight, 3 AM, to be exact. My stomach was churning. I got up and went to the kitchen to eat something, but there was food already on the table. I could only eat a little of it. As I passed by my mother's room, the light was still on.She was talking to someone on the phone, looking panicked. Father wasn’t home yet.

  I didn’t pay much attention to it and went back to bed, drifting off again.

  The next day, I went to school, and the teacher asked us to pair up into groups.

  As always, I was left alone, along with the white-haired boy. Someone tried to invite me, but they backed off after seeing the white-haired boy. Because of his white hair and red eyes.

  He wasn’t that scary at all. He didn’t talk much, maybe because he was afraid... or had some reason.

  They didn’t try to understand him—Neither did I.

  I was just left with him.

  “Now kids, draw a scenery of the sky.”The teacher’s voice came from the front, triggering an outburst of chatter from the other children.

  I always sat at the back of the css, never really talking to anyone, except for the occasional words with the white-haired boy.

  I began to draw the picture and finished it quickly. My drawing wasn’t that bad.

  “Why is the sky purple?”The teacher asked. She was right next to me, looking at my drawing.

  “Because the sky is purple.”I replied enthusiastically, but the teacher looked at me for a moment, forced a smile, and walked to the next boy behind me.

  Ah...

  No one believed me when I said the sky was purple. Others said it’s blue, but I don’t see blue.

  People began to avoid me. The white-haired boy stayed with me, even when I went to middle school. I never asked for his name, Neither did he.We just acknowledged each other’s existence, failing to recognize it.When he was in trouble, I helped him. I don’t know why.

  Maybe it’s because he was the only one I saw my reflection in. He was the only one who understood me. He was intriguing.

  【Episode 1:】

  But that understanding was lost after we entered middle school.People began to approach him and talk to him.He was afraid at first, but I stepped in and helped him speak, so he fit in the css.And the only one who didn’t fit in the css was me.

  Once again, I’m left alone.

  「Chapter 1: Solitude」

  I cannot speak, nor can I talk.

  People tried to approach me too,but because of my illness,they always looked at me with grim eyes and walked away.

  They took pity on me, offering help, but that help pained me even more, since I was met with powerlessness.I know they were trying to help me, but... it still pained me.

  It’s still suffocating.

  Those smiles felt like they were forced.

  The loneliness felt strange and suffocating, like I was drowning.

  Are these things really reality, or is this a script no one can read, could you share the secret with me?

  The white-haired boy occasionally gnced at me with an expression of longing...It was strange. But every time, I refused to see it.

  I was trapped in my own little space. The view ahead was blurry. Everything around me was just a bnk canvas.

  Mumbling to myself as I walk home.

  Can someone love me as I am?

  No one could understand me.Nor could I.

  I wanted to bme this world...But I need the world to live; The world does not need me to live.

  I spent most of my time reading books, and studying, since I had nothing better to do. Most of the time, I couldn’t attend school due to my health.

  I was no genius. But still, after spending most of my time alone reading books, I was top of the css...Well, not really. Since that white-haired boy was a damn genius and got full marks every time. Seriously, why did he even enroll in such a middle school?Maybe he had his reasons. I never really asked.

  But nevertheless.... We were not reted anymore. At least, I think.I was on my own, and he was on his own.

  We rarely talked, as he was getting further away, which I never noticed.

  It was all going the same...Until my parents suddenly disappeared and left me.

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  I don't want to experience it again.But I can't do anything... to stop it.

  But this is all a dream.

  Yes... a fading dream,formed from the things I have experienced. A distortion of the actual memory.

  This never happened before.Neither you, nor I, saw it happen.

  Just wake up already...

  "Ugh,"

  I groaned as I tried to open my eyes, but I failed to do so as my eyelids were heavy, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't open my eyes; the texture beneath my face was that of my hands. I could still smell an iron tint in the room.

  My mind swayed between consciousness and unconsciousness; my heartbeat audible, close to my ears. I could feel the cold yet warm wind, carrying an odd feeling of familiarity.

  My hands numb, fingers intertwined, my legs aching from the pain, my feet cold.

  My body hot, my mind bnk.

  I could not do anything, nor could I think anything.

  My thoughts reflecting on my consciousness, the present unstable, still between past and future, yet time moving linearly, indifferent to the despair.

  Every second feels shorter, as the end of the world seems closer. Humans move along time, yet time does not belong to humans.

  That is a deterministic factor that you cannot avoid.

  Non-deterministic, and the values of your own choices may, can, (not) matter.

  What can I do?

  How am I supposed to know if you are enjoying my suffering or not? I can only predict and not be certain; yet I do not even know if you exist or not.

  What can't I do?

  I tried to open my eyes again, my eyelids still heavy, barely opened. The view ahead was slightly visible, blurry and hazy.

  Slowly, my eyelids lifted up, my eyeshes slightly disturbing my vision. The view inside of the gsses was clear, the computer screen turned off, but hazy, the view outside the gsses was blurry, like I was the only one here and nothing existed beside me.

  I slowly moved my head up, my fingers feeling separated from my body, but I still managed to save the file.

  I tried to stand up, my muscles ached as I moved my legs and pushed the chair back and stood up.

  I dragged myself to the bed, my thoughts still a mess, my eyes still listless.

  The sheets were stained with blood that had dried off.

  I coughed again, blood coming out of my mouth, staining my clothes.

  My lungs felt like they were decaying, my heart felt like it would stop beating any second, my body felt like it would stop functioning any moment.

  I fell on the bed...

  Drowsiness pulling me back into a state of unconsciousness.

  My mind is bnk.

  My body is cold.

  The world around me is empty.

  "How nice."

  The longing that someone would be here for me... that someone could be here for me.But that is all delusion, that you know will never come to life.An empty daydream that will fade away as my memories fade away into nothingness.Until I'm forgotten by this world... hehehe... when was I ever remembered by this world in the first pce?

  Hey, can I bme anyone?

  The only one I can bme is myself, and you.

  The view in front of me blurred as everything faded away into darkness.

  I opened my eyes after a while... I could not tell how long after.

  I hoped that it would end this time, and yet I still woke up.

  I heard the doorbell ring, it was ringing rapidly.

  "Ugh... can I not open it and just ignore it?"

  I ignored it, but the sound was giving me a headache. I forced my body to move as I dragged myself to the door and opened it.

  And in front of me was a certain person with white hair and red eyes, who looked so annoyingly handsome that anyone would fall for him just by taking a look at him, that put me to shame, who barely is good-looking.

  He scrutinize with me, and as he was about to say something, I closed the door on his face.

  He started banging on the door...

  "If you don't let me in, I will shout that you have murdered someone."

  His voice somehow reached through the door.

  "Good luck."

  I replied, my voice barely coming out as I walked back, but he shouted something about breaking the door down if I didn't open it.

  I didn't pay attention as I walked back, but I heard a bang against the door.

  I picked up my phone and called security.

  I reported him, and ter I heard the noise was gone.

  And then, I got a call on my phone...

  Ugh... He is calling me.

  What does he want...

  I ignored his calls and sloped down onto the bed.

  It was strange, I was still drowsy, but I couldn't sleep.

  I got up and started reading light novels. I also read web novels.

  Sometimes I watched anime, and read webtoons and manga.

  The one I was currently reading was called Beyond ... which was a story about a boy named Paradox++ who was cssified as an SCP as a threat to reality itself. He was an anomaly that existed beyond anything; he was someone who no one could comprehend. One day, Paradox++ became unstable and destroyed several Trees of Timelines that made up reality, the past was disintegrated, while the future faded into dust, and thus, the present was close to becoming sentimental.

  While I was reading, I lost track of time, as I was absorbed by the world of the unknown... I might say fiction, but you decide that.

  I hadn't eaten in a while. My stomach growled, but I didn’t notice, as I only focused on reading.

  After I finished reading the book, I noticed that my stomach was growling and I had not eaten in a while.

  I got up, my b coat was still blood-stained, but I didn't notice that as I opened the door and walked outside. But there was a familiar one at the doorstep, and I walked away, pretending that he didn't exist.

  "Hey, wait..."

  His voice trailed as he followed me.

  Seeing that it was almost dusk, the dark, grim clouds in the sky blocked the sun. Since there was no sunlight, I hadn’t brought an umbrel.

  "I said wait..."

  The sky was overshadowed by the clouds, blocking the purple sky.

  "At least listen to me for a second..."

  The winds were quite strong. The air felt wet yet cold, carrying a feeling of eeriness.

  It feels like it's going to rain.

  Huh? Strangely, his voice stopped. Maybe he gave up.

  "Kyaaa!!"

  But suddenly, I heard a woman's scream. I looked behind me, and she was slopped down, looking in terror as she pointed at me.

  A drop fell from the sky, nding on the ground.

  I looked at myself, and I saw the stained coat, and I felt a metallic taste in my mouth, that was probably blood.

  Thunder fshed in the sky.

  So, blood was dripping from my mouth, and my b coat was stained with blood...

  And it started pouring, raindrops rapidly falling down.

  Ah. I see.

  "It started raining."

  I spoke in a low voice.

  His face was pale as he looked at me, his body shaking...

  Strange.

  "Why did you quit?"

  He asked with a still voice with a bit of static, devoid of any emotions.

  I looked into his eyes, finally avoiding eye contact.

  And looked at the sky for a moment. The rain was falling down pretty fast, but when I looked at it like that, it felt slow, and I said.

  "Hwan Saeng, why do you care?"