Another infernal day, another stupid ass meeting with the boss. Just one of a million of these damn useless meetings that will go on for hours and hours listening to him drone on and on about the "Company" he likes to play President and CEO of Hell Inc. This is hell, not a billion-dollar corporation, we don’t even have money here, actually, there isn't anything here to even buy if we had money. I guess this is part of the whole pit of fire punishment, but I am a high-ranking demon king with thousands of legions under my control, and treated like some Jr. management kid.

  I need a vacation, I need to find a way to be my own demon, a way to find my passions, and find the solitude and peace I so desire. Oh shit, here he comes,

  "Asmodeus, what are the numbers for this week?"

  "They suck Mr. L, same as last week."

  "I have asked you incessantly to call me President Lucifer. Why are your people not performing? Perhaps they have a poor leadership structure."

  "I agree, boss, they do, I volunteer to be shit-canned first."

  "You need to be taking this seriously, Asmodeus. I have an expectation of the corrupted souls per quarter, and if they are not met, then I will be restructuring, which means the leadership teams will go back to the pits for a century or two. Am I clear?"

  "Yes, boss, crystal clear."

  "Good, now what is your plan to get these numbers up?"

  "Well, I thought I would take a quick vacation for a decade and revamp the way we do business."

  "You are not funny, and you will not be taking any vacations. Not until I have the soul count up from your team. Where are they, by the way? I have not seen anyone from your crew here this morning."

  "They are all busy trying to find the will to go on. Do you want them here?"

  "No! you would do better to watch your tone with me, I am losing patience with your insulant behavior lately."

  "I will try harder to be less vocal about my lack of enthusiasm for your made-up business, we are here due to Michael, not because we started a Fortune 500 company, you know that right Mr. L?"

  "I warned you about the attitude now report to the pits, and I will find another to take your place."

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  "Yes sir boss man, on my way." On the way out I drop a quickly made resignation letter into his official mail inbox, my letter being the only document that has ever taken up residency in his very important papers box. The letter simply states "Boss Man, I quit, go Fuck yourself." Then I make a quick departure from the fancy office complex.

  Taking a casual stroll towards the pits I come across some imps fucking around as they normally do. I love to screw with them, they are so skittish and prone to panic at the slightest elevated tone.

  "What are you little assholes doing over here?" I asked in my most menacing voice. The first one that looks up and shit himself and I let out a roar of laughter the other three started begging for mercy.

  "What can we do for you, Your Excellency?"

  "I want a vacation, can you make that happen?" They huddle up in a group and start discussing in low pitched tones.

  "Your Highness we can get you to a beautiful place for your much-needed rest from brutalizing everyone."

  "How can you little shit-holes pull that off?"

  "We know the whereabouts of a portal."

  "A portal, does Mr. L know about that?"

  "Umm no, but we can take you to it if you don’t destroy us or snitch to the big boss."

  "Ok deal, show me where this thing is." On the way we come across a roaming squad of soldier demons, they stop us to question our reason for wandering about.

  "Stop, what are you roach droppings doing out here in the no-travel zone?"

  "Do you know who I am solider suck ass?"

  "No, I would remember a face that chewed up, go on then who are you?"

  "I am Asmodeus, Demon King with 1000 legions."

  "HaHaHa holy shit fellas we got us a celebrity over here, this twat says he is Asmodeus, I think he is just an overgrown imp asshole."

  The imps started to back up as Asmodeus started to glow red. "You sniveling little shit balls will be cleaning the outhouse at the brothel for your lack of intelligence." The guards started to circle me. I struck the first two with one swipe of my large hand and turned them into quivering piles of guts, demon shit, and steam. I looked to the others and they all dropped their weapons and ran off, yelling for Mr. L.

  "Let's go you tick eaters, show me that portal."

  As we approached the portal, dirty and dilapidated, it looked like a broken-down pinto on a bad day. "This is a pile of crap, why would you bring me to this if it did not work correctly? I should put all of you on a spit and feed you to the hell hounds."

  "It works boss man, we've seen it in action. The being that came through was a human and he saw us and ran back in." In the distance, they could hear the guards again.

  "You twat waffles go keep them busy while I examine this portal."

  "But boss they will destroy us. Then don’t get caught dumbass, lead them on a wild goose chase, go now."

  The imps scatter and run off, while looking around the portal I find what looks to be an ancient gold key. When I picked it up the portal started to swirl, the guards almost upon me, a familiar pissed-off voice calls out.

  "So you think you can just leave do you Asmodeus? Freedom isn't part of your contract."

  I reply "Probably not, but I have always been bad at following the rules." I turn and step into the portal and start falling rapidly into the darkness.