“Daddy!” A little girl shouted, running forward, into my outstretched arms. She stopped, seconds from them, eyes wide.

  “You’re not daddy.”

  She smirked, reaching out with one hand. “Let’s go play.”

  Sirens went off outside, followed by shouting, then gunfire.

  I scooped the girl into my arms and started running.

  {Campfire Sleep Bonus}

  [Exhaustion III - cleared]

  [Hunger VI - stalled [5:00]]

  ~Full Hp recovery~

  Warmth filled my body, sinking into my bones. Especially from my left hand. My left hand was really, really warm, as if it’d been dunked into a bed of hot coals.

  I peeked one eye open, scanning the field. Pigs plodded about, lit by faint moonlight and the glow of a nearby fire.

  I glanced at my hand, actively dunked in a bed of hot coals.

  [Debuff : Scorching I [0:30]]

  “Your hand is on fire”

  I started screaming.

  [Debuff : Scorching II [1:30]]

  “Your hand is still on fire. Pull it out, dummy.”

  Fortunately, after I pulled the hand from the fire, thrashed around on the ground, and did some solid whimpering, I felt a lot better.

  {GRIND}

  [12 Hp]

  Groaning, I tried flexing my hand, surprised to find that even after sticking it into the middle of a campfire, it was perfectly fine once the debuff wore off, save a couple black splotches here and there.

  I glanced up into the sky.

  It was night. Midnight, really. Maybe later.

  Exactly how long had I kept one hand stuck inside a campfire?

  Not for the first time that day, I had to wonder how exactly I was still alive.

  The campfire healed Perhaps the campfire had been healing me while I took damage?

  I sighed. “That sounds dumb enough to be right.”

  Squinting, I started checking around the campfire for clues, before coming to the startling realization that I really just didn't care that much, and even if I did, I had more important things to do. Like getting stronger.

  I gazed into a small muddy, reflecting soft moonlight, and I started flexing

  After marginally less than a day’s worth of hard labor, I’d more than doubled my health, gained a fair bit of damage, and unlocked a sweet new ability.

  Parrying.

  Assuming the block worked, I gained additional buffs to strength and defense.

  It’s not much to start out with, but level one was better than nothing.

  Now I’m a pretty clever guy. I know what happens after the tutorial.

  That’s when you start hitting the dungeons.

  Fire dungeons. Ice dungeons. Dungeons that smell funny.

  And in those dungeons, you’re bound to find glorious glorious loot.

  The shovel shot out of my inventory, slamming into the ground, vibrating furiously, perhaps offended at the thought of new equipment.

  Unfortunately, it didn’t seem much more stable than before—jittering, squeaking and causing an awful commotion—so I stuck it back in my inventory, making mental notes to treat it with a little more respect, otherwise it might start popping out again, and then I’d have to go around explaining how exactly I got a legendary item at level 1.

  Actually, how did I get a legendary item at level one? I’d done something with overlapping screens—

  Crapsholver jostled in indignation.

  This wouldn’t do at all. What exactly do shovels like, anyway?

  Digging? We could find common ground.

  I leaned over and started whispering. “Digging is like searching and searching is like exploring and well now look at that, exploring sounds an awful lot like dungeons, now doesn’t it?”

  At this moment, I had the startling realization that I am a partially sane person.

  Either way, the shovel seemed to calm down a little, so that was good enough for me. I slung it back into my inventory and bolted into town, past brooding adventurers and miscellaneous merchants, into the town square, seeking adventure.

  The town square was a large plaza known for both being in the town and square, and more presently notable for the explosive light radiating out of it, melting the ground into a superheated pulp.

  I chose not to go to the town square that day, instead running by a different route, along the edge of the nameless city, to a family section of forest, certainly filled with dungeons.

  As I entered the forest, a ripple of energy washed over the ground, followed by an uprooted tree that rammed into the dirt beside me.

  Yeah that wouldn’t work either.

  Surely there had to be somewhere in this town without the active presence of a life-or-death threat?

  Maybe I ought to get Asiel to recommend me a place.

  “Duh,” I grunted, slapping my forehead.

  Asiel knows everything, and she’s unusually charitable, spending so much time helping a noob get his footing. Of course she’d help me get into a good dungeon. I’d just have to ask her.

  Now where did she say she’d be?

  I hesitated.

  She said she’d be in the town square right about now, rallying troops.

  This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  In the town square.

  There was a burst of molten fire from somewhere in that direction.

  You know what?

  I wouldn’t get anywhere in this game until I learned a little independence. I’d find a dungeon on my own, and then I’d beat it.

  Actually, just down the street I saw a group of players bundled together for a late night raid, beside a cavernous skull-shaped doorway torn into the side of a house, littered with mangled corpses and leaking foul magic.

  {Quest complete : Daisies in the Riverbed}

  “Wow!” the gardener laughed. “That’s some of the best flower gathering I’ve seen!”

  I glanced into the basket of what was mostly little wildflowers.

  In the darkness of night, I’d also filled the basket with a wildly disproportionate amount of weeds and grass—and the flowers I had grabbed had been horribly mangled—since I hadn’t bothered to lower my strength—but the gardener didn’t seem to mind.

  Now, I could’ve gone into one dungeon, with the rest of the guys, but, I just had a gut feeling about it. Perhaps the mangled corpse tipped me off.

  “It’s awfully hard getting work at an hour this late,” the garden laughed, forcibly, dumping the basket into the river. “Claim your reward!”

  {Quest complete : Daisies in the Riverbed}

  [+1 Hp]

  [+1 Minor Exp Catalyst]

  A tiny white crystal orb dropped into the palm of my hand, then shattered, dissolving under my skin.

  [(+1) 16/200 Exp]

  Instantly, my vision sharpened and my body relaxed, though only for a moment. Outside of that, there wasn’t a really noticeable difference.

  So maybe this wasn’t the craziest quest I could’ve tried, but stats are stats I’m not going to scoff at a sixish percent increase in my survivability. And a little exp, too.

  I waved goodbye to the gardener, now stronger than ever before.

  This time, I’d find a good dungeon. Something scary. The kind that radiated evil. I’ve just got to get myself siked up first. And maybe find a decent crew of rookies. And maybe a wolf or baby dragon. Heroes usually had things like that.

  Crew first.

  Now finding one was relatively straightforward.

  There was a bar not too far from the river bank, swelling with a rowdy air despite the obscene time of night. Inside, the pub was filled with unhealthy food, drink and people—each so densely packed alongside another it was hard telling which was what.

  I took a little seat in the back, besides all the other noticeably awkward people in the room. Well most everyone seemed awkward. There was one fellow who was positively ecstatic.

  “I’m Dexten!” A teenager laughed, extending a hand. He was older than me with sharp short hair, that—judging by the greasy sheen—he didn't spend much time taking care of. Dexten grinned, pointing to a group of old men. “Tell me, are those guys actually players, or just NPCs?”

  “I dunno,” I muttered, glancing over my shoulder. One of the guys ripped off his shirt and slammed face first into a wall, knocking himself unconscious. “I really hope they’re players.”

  “Really?” Dexten asked. “If they’re NPCs they're harmless, but players might start causing problems. Anyway, you look like a guy with something on your mind. What’s up?”

  I glanced at his two companions—a boy and a girl—sitting in the back. “Know any good dungeons? People at bars tend to know good dungeons.” I pointed at one of the guys dancing on a table. “If he’s a player, then I was going to ask that guy. He seems like the kind of guy to know these kinds of things.”

  Dexten laughed. “I don’t know about him, but I do know that I know absolutely nothing about dungeons!”

  I frowned. “Nothing?”

  “Absolutely nothing!” He laughed, evidently proud of the fact. “We’ve JUST been doing quests, and I’m already level 7!”

  “Level 5,” the boy muttered, tossing a dagger between his hands. “And she’s level 1. We’re all noobs, so I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

  “At least I’ve got a decent sense of aim,” the girl muttered. She pulled a worn bow from an inventory, wapping not-Dexten on the head. “And I’ve got tact.”

  “Anyway, we’re in the same boat you are, stranger,” Dexten chuckled. “Mall finished the tutorial yesterday and Cierin woke up last week. I’ve only been playing for a half-month myself, and we’re not very high level, but don’t let that fool you,” he grinned, pulling a bow of his own from his inventory, one much thicker and stronger than his companions. “We’re gotten through our fair share of issues.”

  I nodded. “Okay.”

  “So will you join us? Please?” Dexten fell to his knees, grabbing me by the shirt. “Seriously. There’s been more monsters in the woods than usual and if we didn't start hitting dungeons soon, we’ll get mowed down— ut you need a lot of people to get into a dungeon the more the merrier you know what I mean so please please just say you’ll join, alright?!”

  I blinked. “Okay.”

  He laughed jumping up to his feet. “Mall, Cierin, we’ve got a new member!”

  Mall rolled her eyes, sinking into her chair. “Stop making such a fool out of yourself, Dexten. We’re warriors.”

  “And I’ve got no shame,” Dexten laughed. “Ah! We don’t even know your name, stranger.”

  “It’s Grind.”

  He paused, for a moment. “Grind, huh? Interesting. Well, welcome aboard, Grind! Oo, grind. Grind. Really is quite fun to say, isn't it?”

  “You didn’t have to ask me,” I said, glancing up above their heads, to their own name tags. “Don’t you guys know how to read those?”

  Ceircin looked up. “What are you staring at?”

  I blinked. “Look above somebody's head and think of their name.’

  His eyes suddenly widened. “That’s new.”

  Mall huffed. “So you’ve got a decent grasp of the game and its mechanics. Good. Experience Is something we’re sorely lacking. The tutorial doesn’t teach you a thing, other than fighting and the inventory. Stupid old man.”

  “Sutopid old man,” I echoed, smiling. “Oh, but I don’t have any experience. I’m level one too.”

  Mall gagged. “Then why are we letting you join?”

  Dexten pointedly ignored his companion, tapping the shovel in my hand. “What kind of weapon is that?”

  Hang, isn’t my shovel in my inventory—

  I glanced down at the shovel in my hand. It was shaking and shuddering violently, spurting little flakes of light.

  —guess not.

  “That’s CrapShovler.”

  Cierin shuddered. “It feels evil.”

  “Probably is,” Mall muttered. “It’s from the tutorial, though I don’t have a clue what kind of favors you’d have to pull to get it.” she sighed, reclining in her booth. “So we’ve got an over zealous assassin, an overconfident bowsman and two utter noobs. I’m starting to like our chances,” she snorted.

  Dexten beamed, stepping up onto a table. “We’ve just got to find a dungeon worse than the four of us!”

  “Shouldn’t be too hard,” I said. “This is the first area, after all.”

  Mall sighed. “But where are the dungeons? They can appear anywhere, at random, and who knows what’ll you be finding inside of them. We ought to ask the more experience players where they find—”

  “Sup, cutie.”

  The party turned toward a crusty middle-aged man with a mug full of bubbling pink liquid. He blinked. “Hey, wanna map?”

  He tossed a map at Dexten, winked at the Mall, belched, scratched his rear, and hobbled off.

  Mall cleared her throat. “What exactly just happened?”

  “Trust the system!” Dexten shouted, slamming the map on the table. “When an NPC gives you a map, you don’t ask questions!”

  “You probably ought to,” Cierin stated, glancing back. “Besides, it’s two stars.”

  I scanned the map, finding little stars marked at the bottom. “Is two stars a lot?”

  “I dunno. Probably,” Dexten muttered. “But we’ve got a new member! And besides, once we get past the first floor or two, we’ll have enough gear to get through the rest.”

  Mall squinted. “And you know there’s more than two floors because—”

  “Gut feeling,” Dexten chuckled.

  The rest of the party winced.

  I grinned. “This is going to be so much fun.”

  “Assuming we don’t die!” Dexten laughed, bouncing on the ends of his heels. “It might get really dangerous!”

  “And imagine the kind of loot we’d get.” I sighed.

  Dexten cackled. “What are we waiting around here for? Let’s go!”

  “Great,” Mall muttered. “We’ve got two lunatics.”

  “Make that three,” Cierin sighed. “I want a new sword.”

  “Then it's decided!” Dexten shouted. “We’ll raid the dungeon at once!”

  “It’s three in the morning,” Mall groaned, massaging her aching forehead. “Please. Just think for a moment…”

  “Really?” Dexten grunted, glancing out a window. “Well look at that.” He paused for a moment, glancing at the three of us.

  Cierin yawned.

  Dexten nodded. “Fine. We’ll raid the dungeon tomorrow!”