Oh, where are my manners. I'm Victor Simmons. When everything started I was fifty years old, divorced and working as a Security Officer for a middle sized Tech Firm. Since you're here and listen to this, I'd imagine you are in a similar predicament. Maybe new to the whole spiel? Perhaps my story can help you get started.

  - A Recording found at the Everywhere Bar, near the end of Multiverse : Ten - Iteration : Redacted

  What is freedom? Doing what you want, even if it hurts others, or is it finding peace? I don't know, but I'd really like to find out.

  Waiting for my ex wife to cash the last alimony check, had been dreary. When it cleared, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Ten years of handing over half of my pay, all because she needed her "freedom". She made more money than me in the first place. I should have gotten the payoff.

  Sigh. At least it's over now.

  I'd been working out at the company gym to pass the time. With my new version of "freedom", and the extra money that entailed, I decided to get back into some old hobbies, and maybe take up some new ones. Catch up on my favorite authors of the past, get back into some table top RPGs.

  It was difficult to find a group willing to play with an old guy in my area. Thorium Games' Breach, ended up being the catalyst for new friendships. They got the valuable lesson that with age comes wisdom, and treachery, and I got to remember what it was like to have company.

  As much fun as I was having, there was something I'd always wanted to try. Sky Diving.

  I know what you are thinking and I'm with you. It IS stupid to jump out of a perfectly serviceable aircraft. Sometimes you have to do something stupid to make sense of this world, or come to the realization that nothing does.

  Other than the first jump, it was a great time. Nothing could ever make being strapped in with another guy fun for me. He had a million jokes to try to break the tension, but I wasn't having it.

  After that mortifying experience, every jump felt like someone was chipping away the past that I'd let chain me. Addicting. I started going once a week.

  One day, about a month later, the jump was going great. It was a beautiful day and I felt amazing, almost young again. The air tearing past me cutting away old issues, as the view of the land below me made me feel like part of something vast and unknowable, yet ready to be explored.

  I had found freedom.

  Then my primary chute didn't open. My adrenaline spiked and I felt time slow down. The backup failed as well. I knew that this was it, I was at the end. Calm settled in and a peace I have never known before embraced me.

  Fate, that conniving bitch, had other plans.

  A weird circles of runes, or some kind of ancient script began to flash around me. It was neat. Beautiful even. But, I couldn't help but think it was too late.

  YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED. TRANSFERENCE IN 3...2...1

  And I left my Earth about 30 feet before impact.

  Somewhere Else

  I came to in a dark place, standing on a purple and red tiled floor under a single overhead lamp swinging slightly. Its squeak was only mildly disturbing.

  "Hellooo There!" Razor Blades on a chalk board might be better for your ears, and certainly better for your soul. The voice lingered in the air, probably damaging its psyche as well.

  I kid you not, that a fucking clown stepped into the light. A Devil Clown.

  Dressed up in spiked Harlequin gear in yellows, greens and blacks. Topped with a white mask painted, I hope, in red a half grin, half frown. The eyes glowed, one a dull red and the other a bright blue. Bells on the shoes and hat jingled a mournful chime. A funeral dirge on tinkling bells.

  The look was Way Metal. It was at this point, I realized something was wrong with my head. I wasn't screaming, or trying to run. I knew I should be.

  Stopping a bit away from me it bowed over one arm while the other lifted up dramatically. "I am the Master of Ceremonies and you have been called to the Path. Feast and Famine are now yours to enjoy and regret. You will weep and you will cheer, but most of all, you will play." That last was emphasized by a clawed finger stabbing towards me.

  My mother hadn't raised a fool, I was petty sure this thing wasn't human. I suspected some sort of eldritch being. A dark fae, perhaps, or a type of elder folk, given the voice making me want to stab pencils in my ears and the fact all my hair was standing on end. My eyes kept trying to slide away from it, but I was sure that wouldn't be prudent.

  Nope, don't look away, even if you lose some sanity points.

  Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

  Despite this, I still wasn't afraid. More than the rest this bothered me, I really should be. My suspicions of mental buggery being afoot increased by the second.

  I cleared my throat, I hope in a calm fashion. "Okay, I have Questions." You never ask this as a question. Fae and Demon lore 101. You ask, they answer, usually in a useless or misleading fashion, and then you owe. Fast track to a Bad End.

  A laugh, or more of a giggle really. Yup, wanting those pencils. Ear Bleach maybe, do they make that? They really should.

  "Answers are for another day, dear Guided. You must Pick and Choose, Grow and Climb, and finally Fall. However, first things first."

  The pause was pregnant with dreadful implications. "Welcome to the O.M.G."

  With that pronouncement other lights came on and I got a look at where I was. I wish I hadn't.

  If you took a demented casino and a funhouse on crack, removed most of the rules of Physics and Euclidian Geometry, it might start to look like the hellish nightmare I gazed upon.

  I mean, if it was a choice between here and Detroit, I'd probably pick here. But it would be a tough call.

  My thoughts started doing loops and whorls. The colors clashed and burned the eyes. Searing away troubles and concerns by brute force. Getting you ready for the kill. At least, I'd hope it was killing.

  Oh look those slot machines over there are dripping blood! It was so clichéd and absurd I started to laugh. Maybe I was already sliding into the pits of insanity. Oh well, probably for the best. The Devil Clown started to laugh along with me.

  "You get the joke, how delightful! So many Mortals break by now. This will make the selection so much more fun! Again, I beg, I plead, hold your questions, the best window for induction and transformation are approaching and we want the best start possible! Come to the Table of Fate and Binding {Unmaking}!\"

  It moved and I followed too overwhelmed to do much else. Didn't see anyway out if I could've acted anyway.

  Binding doesn't sound good, and Fate, that scheming trollop, likes to fuck people with her spiked strap-on.

  Other than a vague feeling of urgency my emotions seemed to be taking an extended coffee break. Overhead a roulette wheel started spinning, throwing eyeballs everywhere. A crane game off to one side spat out a torn up teddy bear. It's insides were meat and bone. Yup, I felt nothing, I was unfazed.

  We stopped at what looked like an odd Blackjack table, with black felt and white glowing sigils. MC Devil Clown went around to the dealer's spot.

  "Three Cards to choose your Hub World, the place you shall live and struggle. Two are places you Love, one you Hate." Three Golden Cards with scenes of dragons and unicorns are laid on the table. "Choose!"

  I grabbed the one on my left, the other two flipped over on their own. One reads BloodMourne and the other War of the Stars.

  I turned over my card, Generic Superhero Comic Worlds (Merged).

  Oh fuck, IC and Wonderful and The Guys and who knows what else, and I'd have to live there. I look at the BloodMourne Card and shrugged could be worse. The Golden Cards then poofed away.

  I heard cheering? Why did I hear cheering? For some reason, I couldn't focus on it.

  "Next. Nine Species to choose from, six you Love and three you hate."

  Three rows of three Silver Cards appeared, these have Nymphs and Mermaids. The Clown then pulls out a set of role playing dice that were emanating a sickly green light. It rolled the 4 sided die, it came up 2. "Choose two and," rolled the percentile dice, 96, "...keep the best combination of both."

  Its chainsaw voice seemed amused.

  I grabbed the middle card and the top right card, and the rest turned over. Slime, Dwarf, Sectonian, Dragon...

  "NO!!!!" I wailed in despair, you always pick Dragon!

  Orc, Human, Beastfolk. I turned over the first of my cards, Elf.

  The MC Devil Clown rolled percentiles, 68, "You get the Ljósálfar, Fae variant."

  I nodded and turned over second card, Drogar. An obscure mixed race monster specie.

  The Clown chuckled. Three rolls 00, 24, 53. It giggled and tossed two more rolls, 72 and 37.

  "You get a heritage of Night Ogre, Dire Troll, and Astral Giant, and a Bonus trait from the Flame and Storm giant Clans." The cards evaporated.

  More of that Cheering. Where was it coming from? I thought I would likely hate the answer, but I felt it was important to know anyway.

  "Last a Class and a Profession."

  Rolled a six sided die, 6, rolled again, 3.

  "Correction, three Classes and two Professions!" Rolling percentiles, 70. "You keep the best abilities of each, and I can not believe your Good Fortune. Same as the last, Nine and Nine."

  Nine Emerald Green Cards with various Weapons on the left. Nine Ruby cards with various Tools on the right.

  I picked three of the Class set. The remaining cards turn over to reveal Priest, Ranger, Barbarian, Space Wizard, Cat Burglar, Noble Accountant.

  I threw the first of my choices down, Assassin, ugh not that!

  It rolled 15 "You are an CIA trained freelance Hit Man! Scary!" Giggles. Some ear plugs please, anyone.

  I heard booing in the background.

  I flipped the second card, Druid. Hmm, I could get closer to my Celtic roots. Well, not my roots anymore I guess.

  The Devil Clown rolled, 80. "Grove Tender, that will prove very useful, in about fifty years." It chortles.

  I swear I heard a crowd laughing at me. I know it was a stressful event but I really hoped I wasn't hallucinating. I laid down the last Class Card, Beastmaster. The Clown rolled, 42. "That will synergize well. Magic Based Summoner Type."

  The ghost crowd cheered again. The Emerald Cards vanished.

  I grabbed two Ruby Cards. The rest flipped over. Herbalist, Magician, Barber, Make-up Artist, Fisher, Cooper, Scribe.

  I put down the first card, Gem Cutter. No rolls, I looked up at the Clown, "These stand as is."

  I nodded and plopped the second ruby card down, Hacker.

  The unseen crowd mutters and whispers. Doesn't seem useful, yet.

  The Devil Clown Bows again. "Oh Guided, I wish you well. Once you step through the Mirror of Hearts..." MC Devil Clown pointed at a gaudy Valentines heart shaped mirror. Its frame was covered in iron spikes with real beating, lightly bleeding hearts. "... You will arrive at a safe place. Your Choices will merge and transform you to a greater path. Once that process finishes, simply wish for your Guide and things will begin to clear up."

  It tilled it's head at me, the most human gesture out of it so far. The unseen crowd started chanting my name. I found it unpleasant.

  "Everything you do with be witnessed by the beings collected under the Guide. As you call it, what is it, ah yessss. You are now a Streamer. If you entertain, you get rewards, if you get stale...well we do not like to call them punishments, think of them as incentives."

  It guides me over to the Mirror, gesturing for me to go ahead. "Hurry Destiny awaits. Adventure and Struggle aplenty. Remember Under the Omniversal Meta Guide all can reach Greatness."

  As I practically leaped through that terrifying mirror, I thought, "Well, there goes my freedom."