"Don't tell me you're really going on that date," Karl shouted from the living room while I was getting ready.

  I did my best to ignore him. Especially since I was already in a bad mood. The entire morning, I’ve been trying to figure out what to wear. Admittedly, I’ve never been someone who was into fashion. Most of the clothes I own is just a random assortment of t-shirts, jackets, and pants. I’m not even a ‘shoe guy’ like many of the other guys I know. I don’t know why, I guess I’ve just never felt the need to get dressed up. If this was any other day, I’d just throw something on and call it a day. But today was different. Today, I felt like I had to get dressed up, or at least I should attempt to. Especially if I’m going to go out with Sophia. I don’t want to, I don’t know, bring down her social standing or something just by standing near her. I can see it now, ‘Oh look at that hot girl with the schlub beside her’. Guh... At the very least, I can attempt to make myself presentable enough to not ruin the pretty picture that is Sophia.

  Finally, after scrounging around, I managed to find a neat, button-up shirt. I didn’t like wearing it much (which is why it was buried deep in my closet), especially because it really shows off my body with how fitted it is. Normally, I wouldn’t even buy anything like it. In fact, I didn’t. It was my mom who did, insisting that it made me look smart. I don’t see it. But it was my go-to when I needed something at least semi-formal, which isn’t a lot of times, usually only some school events and when I needed to meet up with family (the tter of which I especially don’t look forward to). I quickly threw the shirt on along with some jeans, and I looked in the mirror. Yeah… Still not the prettiest picture. But it’s the best I can do. The shirt was wrinkled too, but I don’t have an iron or anything to fix it. I don’t think Sophia would mind anyway.

  “She was probably fucking with you, you know?" I heard Karl’s voice from the doorway. He was leaning on the doorframe, practically blocking the entirety of it with how big he was. He's been pestering me about my date with Sophia since we got back home yesterday. Honestly, it's gotten pretty annoying, but I know he’s just concerned about me.

  “It’s not like you’re the one going on a date with her,” I replied with faux-irritation as I followed him outside.

  By the time I got to the living room, he was already sitting cross-legged on the couch. And with the way he was positioned, with his long, wavy, sandy-blonde hair untied and messy that it was half-covering him; his big, blue eyes poking out looking at me, wet and pleading; he looked less like my annoying-as-all-hell roommate and more like a big, cute Labrador.

  "Like, I'm just having bad vibes about her,” he said in a whine that reminded me of a sad puppy.

  "You have bad vibes about a lot of things," I scoffed a bit, accidentally sounding more genuinely irritated than I wanted. "Wasn't it just st week that you were convinced that there was surveilnce or something in our cereal?"

  "No, you didn't hear me right. I said there were bugs in our cereal. Like real, actual bugs. In a lot of food really," he moved closer to me. "Like, tiny little bug fragments just sort of get into food and—"

  "Karl, please, that's gross," I cut him off.

  "Oh, sorry, J"

  My ear pricked at that. I don’t know why, but suddenly just ‘J’ felt wrong. Maybe it’s because I was going to go out with Sophia who knew me as Jamie that J felt wrong? Well, I guess if I’m committing to this, I should actually make it more official.

  "Actually, Karl, is it alright if you call me Jamie?”

  Karl looked at me puzzled. God, why did I even ask him to do that? That was such a weird thing to ask. Just another one in a long list of demands I already asked of him. ‘Don’t call me ‘dude’ because it made me feel weird. Don’t go around topless in the apartment because it feels weird. Don’t call me by my full first name.’ And now I’m asking him to call me by an entirely different name from the one I already asked him to call me? Why am I even asking him to do that? Am I that demanding?

  “Oh yeah, sure Jamie,” Karl finally replied.

  “Wait, what?”

  “What do you mean ‘what’?” He looked at me puzzled again. “You asked me to call you Jamie so I’m calling you Jamie. Did I misunderstand anything again?”

  …That’s it? He was taking this pretty easily. I guess that’s… Karl for you? Looking back, I guess he was always kind of this way whenever I asked him to do something. He never compined about any of my requests (which were borderline demands, to be honest). Not once. And he never asked me to expin myself more, no matter how weird my requests were. I just ask him, and he’d do it. How did I even get saddled with an amazing roommate like him? More than just a roommate.... he was my friend, right? I mean, we were friends, weren’t we? Sure, we weren’t really close before we became roommates. At first, he was just a guy I met in css. We just chatted each other up (or rather, he was the one who chatted me up, Karl always was the friendlier one between us two), realized we were into the same things, and we started talking more. And when I needed a new roommate after my previous lease was out, he was the only one I could think to ask. Before that, we were practically strangers. But we’re friends now though, right? It’s only been a few months since we moved in together and we did hang out every now and again, watching a movie on the TV, going out to drink, just typical guy stuff. But is that enough to say that we’re proper friends?

  “Yo, Jamie, you okay?” Karl interrupted my train of thought. “You’ve been staring into space again.”

  I blinked my eyes a few times, they felt dry.

  “Yeah, sorry Karl, I got lost in thought I guess.”

  “Seemed like you were in there pretty deep,” he looked concerned. “You’ve been doing it a lot recently, you know?”

  I tilted my head in confusion, “Doing what?”

  “You’ve been a lot… spacier recently. I keep catching you just lost in your own head or something.”

  Huh… I didn’t even realize that. To be honest though, I was more surprised that Karl noticed that about me. I didn’t think he was that observant.

  “Jamie, you’re doing it again,” Karl spoke up again, concern in his voice. “Is something bothering you? Are you okay?”

  I smiled at him. It was weak, but it was the best I could manage. I was never really good at smiles.

  “I’m fine, don’t worry about it,” I said. Actually, I don’t know if that’s true. But I don’t even know what I’m maybe not fine about.

  Maybe I have been thinking a lot tely.

  “Riiiight…” Karl conceded. “Are you sure you still want to go out? Maybe you just need to chill out for today. I finally got the movie we wanted to watch downloaded. I know it’s not the same as seeing it on the big screen, but I’m sure it’ll be just as good on the TV.” He patted the spot on the couch next to him, looking at me with big puppy-dog eyes.

  Honestly, it was an enticing proposition. We pnned to watch the movie together before, we bought the tickets online and everything. But I got sick on the day of which sucked because it was IMAX and we couldn’t even refund it. I didn’t want Karl to miss out on things because of me, so I told him to go without me. Practically pushed him really. He wanted to stay, said he’d take care of me, but I just told him that at least one of us should get to enjoy the movie properly. Finally, I convinced him to go which felt like the right choice seeing as he was so happy when he got back home. The film was awesome, he said, and he wished I could have seen it. I said I’d just watch it when I got better but by the time I did, the movie was pulled out of all our local theater (apparently it had really low sales) and I just missed my chance.

  Speaking of missed chances, I need to make sure I didn’t miss this one. Sophia was the first person to ever accept any of my… ‘propositions’. This was practically the chance of a lifetime. And even though she said yes, I’m still pretty sure she didn’t really like me, so I didn’t want to add to that and make her think that I’m some sort of fke or something. I had to go.

  “Sorry, Karl. I’d love that, honest. But I’ve got a lot riding on this date.”

  He looked sad, I couldn’t bme him, but he let me go on my way. Before I got out the door though, he waved me up, “Oh yeah Jamie, before I forget. Can you tell your mom to stop messaging me? Honestly, I’m still not sure how she got my number. But she just keeps asking about you.”

  “Oh! Uh…sorry about that, I’ll tell her.” Mom?! How did she get Karl’s number? What, I don’t manage to answer her for a day and she messages my roommate? That is just… Okay, I need to focus on the date for now. Then, I can deal with mom.

  As she said she’d be doing, Sophia pulled her car up right outside our building. Rolling down the window, she fshed me a smile. “Hop in,” she said, gesturing to the passenger seat.

  She definitely knew how to dress herself, far better than I did. Compared to my clearly hastily-put-together look, hers looked really thought out. She was wearing a white tank-top with ripped jeans. And the tank top was loose enough that I could see what she was wearing under it. I still don’t understand how girls can wear practically nothing like that. I guess if you had a body you liked showing off, you’d do it more often? I mean, guys (most of them, at least. I’m sure some of them were more like me) go around topless all the time, how’s this any different? Anyway, her make-up was rather sharp, sharper than yesterday’s, and paired with her piercings (did she always have a lip piercing? Did I just not see it yesterday), it all gave a rather punky look. Far from my ‘can’t be bothered to dress up’ chic.

  “Thank you for picking me up I guess,” I said as I sat down beside her, accidentally speaking it in a grumble as I did. Apparently, my face betrayed me too because her forehead wrinkled in an upset look.

  “What’s got your panties in a bunch?” She asked in between gnces as we started driving off.

  “What?”

  “You look mad. Or is that annoyed? Okay, I admit, it’s hard to pick up on your expression, but it’s not a good look.”

  I looked away from her. I didn’t like her scrutinizing me like this. Feels like I’m being examined under a microscope. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “I’m just saying, you’d look prettier if you smiled.” I didn’t have to look at her, but I knew she was fshing that cheeky grin she kept sporting.

  I didn’t answer her. I just know she’d just have a stupid response to anything I could say. Moments passed before we hit some traffic, and she spoke up again.

  “Okay, what’s up?” Her voice sounded mad this time. What did I do?

  “Nothing’s up,” I looked back to her. Her face looked mad too. At least, I think she was mad.

  She practically leaned on the steering wheel as she turned her head to me, “Nothing? I thought you were the one who wanted this date? But now that we’re on it, you look like I pissed in your soup or something.”

  “You’re pretty crass for a girl, you know that?”

  She looked really pissed this time, “Oh? And what do you know about girls? Do you even know what girls are like?”

  I don’t know why but something about what she said hit me. And it hit me hard. I could feel my stomach turning a bit, my head was starting to ache. Why was I feeling like this? What’s up with me? Why did I even say anything? If I hadn’t said that, she wouldn’t have had to say anything back. I mean, what did I know about girls? Do I know what girls were like? The st girl I really knew was… her. And I didn’t know her enough because if I did, I wouldn’t have hurt her. Maybe she wouldn’t be mad at me then. Maybe she’d still be my friend. Maybe she would still be here. Maybe I would have–

  “Jamie?” Sophia spoke up again.

  “Yeah?” I noticed we were moving again. She was looking ahead as she drove, but I was staring at her still. I was staring absent-mindedly this entire time so it’s only now that her face only registered in my mind. She didn’t look mad now. She looked concerned. Thinking back on it, she might never have looked mad at all, even before. The face she was making now was the exact same as the one she had on earlier. Was I just misreading things like I always do?

  “I think I lost you for a second there. Are you sure you’re feeling okay? I can turn around if you’re not feeling okay?” Was she really concerned for me or did she just want to end this date as soon as possible?

  “No, no, I’m okay.”

  “Are you sure? What’s up with the whole thing earlier?”

  “What thing?”

  She suddenly stopped the car.

  “Jamie, don’t give me that crap,” she was practically shouting now. “You just keep going into these long pauses. It’s like you just shut down for a few seconds and you end up just staring at me. You’ve been doing it since we met and honestly, I don’t know if I should be upset or worried. Can you just tell me if something is up?”

  Can… can she stop interrogating me like this? Please? I could feel my head aching even more. Is it just me or is my heart pumping really fast? I can’t breathe, I can’t think, I can’t…

  “This isn’t right,” I finally managed to sputter out.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You picking me up for a date. That’s not how it’s supposed to work,” I don’t even know what I was saying. It’s like the words were just spewing out of my mouth. There’s a voice in my head saying all this and keeping it in just hurts so I had to let it all out. “It’s supposed to be the guy picking up the girl. This… this is unnatural. ”

  Her face steeled up, “You know, Jamie, I think you really need to examine these things you think you’re ‘supposed to do’.”

  Before I could even think of a response, the car locks clicked open.

  “Okay, we’re here,” Sophia said as she grabbed a jacket from the back seat and quickly left the car, like she couldn’t be stuck there with me any longer.

  “So… why are we here?” I asked Sophia.

  We were sitting at the mall food court, having a milkshake each and sharing a basket of fries, all paid for by Sophia. I still don’t get why she insisted on paying for them. I had my own money, and I didn’t want to impose on her. But when I tried to pay for my own food or even just pay her back for it, she just shrugged me off and said it was okay.

  “Because,” Sophia answered in between bites of the fries, “I honestly don’t know anything about you. And this is a pce where we can just do things. We can just walk around if we want to. Oh, we could go watch a movie. Or we can just sit here, eat, chat. Up to you.”

  I could barely even eat myself. Especially after earlier. Sophia was just staring at me, smiling. The same mysterious smiles she always gives me. What is it that she finds so funny?

  “Can I ask something?” I asked her while pying with a fry. “Why’d you say yes?”

  Her smirk grew wider, “Before I answer that question, answer mine first. Why do you go after lesbians in the first pce?”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  She seemed unbothered as she kept eating her fries, even dipping one in her milkshake before enjoying it. “I remember your buddy Karl telling me that this wasn’t just an isoted incident. You’ve done this before. So, what’s the deal?”

  “There is no deal, it’s just a coincidence.”

  “A coincidence is one thing. But the way you came up to me, the things you said, and the sheer fact that you even realized I was a lesbian that quickly. All that seems practiced, something you’ve definitely done before. Even the way you were resigned to me immediately saying no, that says something, you know?”

  I scoffed, “And what does it say?”

  She smiled again. She picked up a fry, dipped it into my milkshake and put it right in front of my mouth. Was she trying to feed me? I ate the fry, and I could swear she muttered something, too quiet for me to hear, but it sounded like ‘good’ something…

  “Gd you’re eating at least, wouldn’t want my money to go to waste,” she joked.

  After finishing her milkshake, she picked up a napkin and started to wipe her fingers, “Keep eating, okay? I have to check something real quick, I think I have an idea on what we can do.”

  As she stood up, she looked straight at me, half-smirking. “Actually, I think I have to go to the little dies’ room. Wanna come with?”

  “To the dies’ room?”

  “I meant the bathroom. Make it one trip, you know?” She was still smirking, “But if you wanted to join me in there, it wouldn’t be too much of a problem, I guess.”

  My eyes narrowed at her, was she propositioning me or something?

  As if she read my mind, she quickly amended, “Not like that Jamie, no. I just meant you look kind of feminine enough in your get-up that I’m sure no one would even notice you in the dies’. They’d probably think you’re just butch or something.”

  “Okay, now I know you’re just screwing with me. I’m good here, thank you very much.”

  She put her hands up defensively, “Hey, if you feel the call of nature ter, just remember I offered.”

  With that, she made her way to the bathroom, leaving me with the half-finished basket of fries, and a quickly-melting milkshake.

  SophAmore: Hey P, you know if the pce we checked out at the mall st month is open today?

  P: should be. why’d you ask?

  SophAmore: Bringing Jamie there right now. I think they’d like it there. Sides, can’t think of anywhere else to bring em yet

  P: i see what you’re doing there.

  SophAmore: I’m not doing anything :P

  P: whatever you say, babe.

  PrincessCharming: heyyyy!!!!

  PrincessCharming: she’s my babe.

  P: I was wondering when you’d show up.

  PrincessCharming: wdym

  PrincessCharming: i’ve been here the whole time.

  SophAmore: Hey babe!

  PrincessCharming: heya darling!

  PrincessCharming: how’s the date

  SophAmore: I asked em if he’d go to the dies’ with me.

  P: oooh what’d he say

  SophAmore: He thinks I was fucking with him.

  PrincessCharming: i mean, you kinda were, weren’t you?

  SophAmore: Well, if they said yes, I’d have brung em. I know how scary it can be your first time.

  PrincessCharming: aren’t you doing things a bit too fast?

  PrincessCharming: wasn’t there some sort of

  PrincessCharming: Prime Directive or something?

  SophAmore: Yes? But I choose to see them more like guidelines.

  P: also, didn’t they break the Prime Directive all the time in Star Trek?

  SophAmore: Yeah, yeah, that!

  PrincessCharming: whatever you say babe

  PrincessCharming: just make sure things go alright

  PrincessCharming: k?

  SophAmore: Don’t worry darling, I have it all under control. Can’t wait till you get back btw. How long are you staying over there again?

  PrincessCharming: maybe after the holidays, might spend them over here if that’s alright?

  SophAmore: Yeah, don’t worry about it, I have P here. And maybe Jamie too, who knows.

  P: hey, you know i can’t cook right? i’m too young to have a houseguest.

  SophAmore: Okay brb, I have to get back to Jamie before they get antsy. Kid gets spaced out a lot, any longer and I’m afraid I might give the poor thing an anxiety attack.