Hello, hello. Some of you may know me from the days of old, where I used to write about cute girls doing cute things. Sometimes steamy content.

  Those days are gone.

  I'm John Fong and welcome to me becoming a human disaster in motion.

  This is my first attempt at a serial work, which is quite exhilarating in its own right. I'm one of those people who would rather die than be seen naked, yet here I am, forced to post pieces of a story that I don't have 100% completed yet.

  The horror. The humanity.

  And for you, who got here, I have a few very choice words for you.

  Thank you.

  You must really like rocks, huh? You can't be sane if you made it this far.

  So really, let's all go insane together. Why not, right?

  I expected this story to entirely flop on landing, to break all of its bones and end up with a one million dollar hospital bill, as well as a few missing organs. But since there are people here, I guess I did something right.

  I have around 7-8 completed stories that I'm slowly plinking away at queries for and some on Amazon, but those are beside the point. I hope that I can continue writing my little heart out for as long as I live.

  So cheers. I'm sure I'll be in your collective debt sometime in the future, so just in advance, please don't take my organs. I need those.

  And thanks.

  As for a future posting schedule, I'm running out of steam. Expect weekly or biweekly chapters when I have some extra free time. I'm currently in between jobs, and since everything costs money, this can't be my main hustle — as much as I wish it was. Expect the start of the next arc within the next two days.

  Though, if you ever need a writing commission, you know who to call~

  Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

  I write smut sometimes. Just a warning.

  [REPORT: JAXL]

  (ILLUSTRATIONS INCOMING. CHECK BACK LATER.)

  Name: Jaxl

  Age: ???

  Gender: Male

  Affiliation: Oracle Bureau, Kon Atelier

  Ranking: Class 0 Relic Hunter

  Height: 196 centimetres (~6’5” in feet)

  Hobbies: Alcoholism, Gambling, Collecting

  Stigmata: Unknown

  Specialties: Brawling

  Birthday: Second Bloom, 2nd Day (April 2nd)

  Likes: The colour of gold, the sound of pianos.

  Dislikes: Sour foods, dishonest people, overgrown foliage.

  [REPORT: TAPIO]

  (ILLUSTRATIONS INCOMING. CHECK BACK LATER.)

  Name: Tapio

  Age: 67

  Gender: Male

  Affiliation: Oracle Bureau, Kon Atelier (Owner)

  Ranking: Class 5 Relic Hunter

  Height: 172 centimetres (~5’8” in feet)

  Hobbies: Sightseeing, Artifact Research

  Stigmata: None

  Specialties: Crafting

  Birthday: First Winter, 23rd Day (December 23rd)

  Likes: Live music, spicy food

  Dislikes: Messy workspaces, dissonant notes

  [REPORT: OWL]

  (ILLUSTRATIONS INCOMING. CHECK BACK LATER.)

  Name: Owl

  Age: 24

  Gender: Female

  Affiliation: Oracle Bureau, Kon Atelier

  Ranking: Class 6 Relic Hunter

  Height: 172 centimetres (~5’8” in feet)

  Hobbies: Sleight of hand, cooking, exploring cities

  Stigmata: Unknown

  Specialties: Reconnaissance

  Birthday: First Winter, 23rd Day (December 23rd)

  Likes: Cameras, Weapons

  Dislikes: The colour of red, ideological zealots

  [REPORT: VIVIAN]

  (ILLUSTRATIONS INCOMING. CHECK BACK LATER.)

  Name: Vivian (Tentative) [Forced by a friend(?)]

  Age: Sedimentary

  Gender: Rock

  Affiliation: None

  Ranking: Unranked

  Height: 15 centimetres across (~6” in inches)

  Hobbies: None

  Stigmata: Cycle Turbine (Wind)

  Specialties: Rocking out

  Birthday: None

  Current Status: Just got off Rock Bottom

  If you want to scream at me directly, now's your time.