Glitter glided around in the air like some kind of twisted confetti storm.
“A Pi?ata Mage is no ughing matter.” Anders’ voice was grave as he spat out an orange particle of glitter. “The magic behind such power is votile. You think it’s just a little party favor, don’t you? Party Mages are the worst, and Pi?ata Party Mages are the worst of the worst.”
Rob stared in disbelief. “... But why? Why would a pi?ata be considered more dangerous than say, fireballs?”
“Silence,” Anders replied as he shut down Rob’s perfectly sensible question.
He then swung around and punched the pi?ata with his bare fist. Upon impact, the pi?ata shook and leaked in multiple pces. Glitter shot out like firework, and suddenly, a cloud of candies rained down from its opening mouth. The sweet smell of sugar assaulted the air as lollipops and caramel chews poured out non-stop.
“There is food inside,” Rob stood in awe.
A luminous question mark appeared above Rob's head, accompanied by the all-too-familiar sound of the System chime.
[NEW QUEST: Make Chicken Soup for the Sick]
Objective: Make a warm bowl of chicken soup for the sick in your household within the next two hours.
Reward: 1 EXP, 5 CP, and a spoon of the finest quality.
Prerequisite: None
Failure: Bad things happen.
Accept: Yes/No
What? What does this have to do with anything? How do I make chicken soup without hands?
Blorbo couldn’t do it. Only Rob could. And he was sure that other than himself, nobody else was aware of the existence of the quests, or of stats and skills altogether.
I think these are designed to be generic quests, not specific to furniture. I can just find quests I can do.
And that failure consequence? He wouldn’t risk finding out.
He clicked No.
As he did, another golden question mark came into existence. This time, it was above Anders’ head.
[NEW QUEST: Stop the Rainbow Ribbons from Fpping Too Loudly]
Objective: Quietly stop the rainbow ribbons from fpping loudly within the next ten minutes.
Reward: 1 EXP, +2 STR, and a brand new pair of socks
Temporary Aura: Adjustable Angle (Level 2) (7 degree)—Duration: 10 minutes
Prerequisite: None
Failure: The ribbons double their noise and attract unwanted attention.
Accept: Yes/No
Only when he saw the quest did he realize the ribbons were making sounds. The noise it made wasn’t nearly as bad as the shouting contest happening in the house right now. Hardly loudly.
What? Why? Do the ribbons hold ANY significance at all? Why are these main quests and not sidequests? The System didn’t even bother trying with the quest name this time.
Nonetheless, this was a quest he could actually do. So he clicked Accept.
Rob grunted as he spoke to Anders, “We don’t want trouble in this house, Mr. Woodywise. If there might be potential trouble we don’t know about, you should speak to us forthrightly so we can reach a solution.”
Blorbo calcuted the precise distance between himself and the rope that held the pi?ata. I’m blessed with advanced leaning capabilities! I have to make use of this!
He fpped to one side, then to another side. Because he had to fp slowly to not draw attention, the step he took was disappointingly small. No one saw it yet.
He took another step. Then the third. The distance he’d cover was so minuscule nobody even noticed.
I’m too far away. Then he spotted Tabby sitting near the rope, licking its paw.
I can reach the cat! I just need to move a little.
The old man poked at Rob’s chest. “If you didn’t want trouble, you should’ve listened to your folks when they told you to not marry an immigrant.”
Blorbo leaned back and forth, closing the distance between him and that cat by half an inch. I’m still too far, and I can’t lean faster without being detected!
Rob kicked the side of the table as he said, “You can disrespect me all you want, but don’t say that about your own daughter.”
Blorbo immediately took advantage of the kick to theatrically fpped sideway like a walking duck.
[-1 HP]
Oh yeah! Keep arguing! Keep yelling at me and kick me in the butt!
Lena crossed her arm, spped the table, and stared straight into Anders’ eyes. “Dad. We’ve been fine until now. What’s wrong? What are we?”
[-8 HP]
Minus 8?! No way that sp was that strong. I barely felt it. He thought as he catapulted towards the cat like a fireball.
“Don’t talk to me like that!” Anders growled when Blorbo touched the cat.
Tabby jumped up in shock. The cat’s cws dug into the rope, and it clutched onto it like a lifeline.
“Are we mages, dad? Are we mages?” Lena raised her voice.
“You are a commoner and always will be!” Anders countered.
“Then what was that earlier? I demand to know what secret you’ve hidden from me!”
“Know your pce! I will tell you nothing.”
The rope thrashed violently, and as it did, it sent a jolt through the pi?ata. The fpping rainbow ribbon that had been causing so much noise was now caught—barely—by the cat's sudden movement. It flitted and made even louder whirring sounds for a second.
No!
Then, the rope acted as a counterbance, finally stabilizing the out-of-control ribbons.
Yes!
Congratutions! [QUEST COMPLETED—Stop the Rainbow Ribbons from Fpping Too Loudly]
Reward: 1 EXP, +2 STR, and a brand new pair of socks
“If you insist, Dad,” Lena’s voice was borderline choking. “I guess we are no longer family.”
Yes! Yes yes yes! I’ve completed the quest! I’ve achieved the unachiveable!
“Do as you wish.” The sound of footsteps resounded as Anders walked away, and Lena’s stifled sobs.
“Mr. Woodywise. We can talk—” Rob spoke, but Anders had already smmed the door on his way out.
Hooray! This is the best day of my life!
Then Lena colpsed onto the floor, bawling.
Oh, right. I forgot. How’s the argument going again?
Rob’s voice rang out. “You look a bit sick. I’ll make you chicken soup.”
With that, Rob left the room. Only then did Blorbo’s attention turned to Lena’s crying form. She was hugging her entire face in her arm, hiccuping as she cried.
What the hell happened? Why is she in this state?
Wait. Lena also had a question mark on her head. It didn’t glow golden. It was a dull grey.
He clicked on the quest.
[QUEST: Keep the Family Intact—Expired]
Objective: Prevent the Imminent Breakdown of the Oakward family
Reward: +100 EXP, +10 HP, +10 MP, +10 STR, +10 END, +10 PER, +10 AGI, +10 CP
Prerequisite: None
Failure: Anders leaves. Lena’s morale -100.
Oh. I didn’t notice this quest existed.
Then the system overrode that screen with a notification.
Congratutions! Please pick your favorite pair of socks.
NameBlorboRaceAnimated Furniture (Table)CssNoneLevel2EXP34/50HP6/15MP2CP0STR8 (+2)END16AGI19PER13SkillsAppraisal (Level 1)
Adjustable Angle (2 Degrees)
Opportunity Sense (Level 1)
Surface Agitation (Level 1)
Synchronized Sitting (Level 1)
Massive Leap Under Duress (Conditional)
AuraUseless Gloved Fool (Permanent)
