The sun blasted us like a celestial hairdryer. I was on my little boat in that flat, empty shallow sea. My little boat was well-built and had a tiny engine that ran by dodging the second law of thermodynamics.

  Schmendrick was with me. Both of us were surrounded by the slow-moving menace of the Copycat Eel. It was surrounding us with that slow-moving spiral of its huge, sharkish body. It was even bigger than I’d remembered, huge and horrible, gray and indifferently ravenous.

  We were preparing for an invasion from Dr. Harrigan.

  Some time had passed. Not only did I have a pair of knee-length board shorts, but Schmendrick was looking rounder; her time was coming.

  She was glossy with good health; a pregnant, furry dinosaur dog sort of thing. I’d made sure she wore her colorful Cazador version of a life vest, made special for her singularly non-bouyant ethnicity. It was covered with little hearts and smiley faces.

  She’d also been learning English and had gotten pretty good at it. “I got chunks of guys like you in my poop,” she said to the Eel.

  “Now Schmendrick, we don’t need to be mean. I’m sure the Eel here wants to help us out. Especially when we consider the alternatives.”

  The Eel kept its slow circle. That tall fin had healed, and a pale scar marked where a hole had been blown in it by the Makers. The moving stripes on its body didn’t work on the scar itself. Magic healing, maybe. This place was lousy with magic.

  The surface of the water twitched and wrinkled as the Copycat Eel formed words. “Food mean,” it said, in my voice and Schmendrick’s.

  “Very mean,” snarled Schmendrick, leaning over the rail. “Beg us for your life.”

  I petted the back of her head and her neck. “Aw, we don’t need to kill the Eel today. The Eel can be part of our organization.”

  It kept circling. It didn’t make a move on us, but it didn’t up and leave. It was listening. Okay then, I gave my pitch:

  “This is your territory, as near as I can tell. I’ve been keeping an eye on you. The two of us are here on this boat to see if you’re interested in becoming a Special Friend to the Observatory.”

  It kept circling.

  “We can offer you a lot of food. A lot. The Observatory rewards its allies.”

  “Two food on boat,” said the Eel.

  “I need you to focus on what I’m saying, and if you threaten us again we’ll take it poorly. Would you like to join us?”

  “Food on boat,” said the water again. Something thumped the hull.

  Schmendrick said something in her language. More-than-purple light flared around one of her monster hands, and suddenly she was holding a long white needle, huge like a fencing sabre in the grip of the diminutive Schmendrick. A tooth, maybe a foot long. It was bloody at its knobby root.

  The soft, huge body of the Copycat Eel flinched elaborately. A wisp of blood trailed in the water now.

  “Kill you with your own tooth,” Schmendrick said conversationally. “Take aaaall your teeth, stab you with them until you die.”

  “Schmendrick, we don’t have to do that. There’s no need to murder our new friend with its own body parts. Listen, Eel. All we need for you to do is let people go through your territory. People who look like me, human ones.”

  The Eel, though, was no longer interested in conversation. It was slowly unspooling from its scary circle, moving off. Fleeing.

  “Didn’t say you could leave, pendejo!” Schmendrick shouted in her high voice. Her fangs were out and her bat-ears were flat against her skull.

  “Oh, that’s okay,” I said loudly, for the benefit of the departing Eel. “Looks to me like the message was received.”

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  After some time, the Copycat Eel had successfully retreated to parts unknown. Schmendrick pushed her head against the palm of my hand and I scratched the bases of her ears. Her eyes closed and she crooned. Then she asked: “How was Bad Cop?”

  “You did great! I couldn’t have done anything like that.”

  “Yes, Owen is a squishy gooshy person.” She sniffed at the blood on the root of the Eel tooth, licked it with her long pink doggish tongue. Her pointy ears went up. “Tasty. Good to know.”

  “Can I try?” She handed it over and I sucked at the blood. It was actually pretty good. Notes of mango, oddly. I could see making Copycat Eel steaks, if we had to feed some carnivores, which we always did. After days of raw fish this was no big deal, but in retrospect the two of us must seem quite monstrous to my Human readers.

  “Schmendrick. How does your magic work? How does any magic work?”

  She looked surprised. “You don’t know? Don’t see? But you have a soul. Need a soul to do magic, to see it too.”

  “No, I don’t see. I’m starting to think Humans are pretty dumb.”

  “Maybe just you.”

  “Can I learn? I’m feeling pretty useless around here.”

  “Not useless. Too nice, maybe. Be less nice or you’ll get killed again.”

  “Teach me.”

  “I’m tired,” Schmendrick announced. She formed a loaf shape on the floor of the little boat, like a cat would, but with that long thick tail sticking out straight and the neck curled like a question mark against her back. And then she was asleep, instantly. Pregnancy had made her tired and a little crabby.

  All her people were doing well; I’d been introduced to someone she named Husband Schmendrick. His job had been to make sure the nest was ready, and we’d worked it out. Her whole pack was excited about the upcoming birth, which would be two cubs. Pups, babies, kids, whatever.

  Husband Schmendrick was a good dude; he fussed over her constantly, but he’d also been fine with her leaving with me for this expedition. I suspected he’d needed a break. I’d give him the Eel tooth, which was undeniably cool.

  The engine worked soundlessly; I’d described what I was looking for to Art Deco and he and his crew had thought it amusing, but they’d made us a motorboat. One that never needed fuel. Art was always asking about the boat and how to make it better; after this afternoon I’d request a roof to keep the sun away.

  The Observatory had been benefitting from the work of everyone. Rice paddies climbed the sides, lush vegetation, crops, coated the whole place. The dome was festooned with vines and little trees. The whole place was vibrantly alive, green and colorful in the sun.

  There had been a campaign against the clouds of colorful birds I’d seen on arriving. Gary had killed them for eating his stuff, then ground them up for fertilizer. Gary did not mess around.

  It was okay, this place. It needed more work, but what doesn’t?

  “Your island looks like a damn cruise ship,” called a voice from the water. Not the Eel. “No, more like…a theme park.”

  A slow, goofy smile spread over my face. I looked around, and there she was: a brown blur far away where I couldn’t see any details. But it was her round face, her twin pigtails, her grin. Her bare, round shoulders were just visible beneath the surface. The rest was frustratingly distorted by the water.

  “Mandy!” I shouted and waved. Schmendrick stayed zonked out.

  “Owen!” she mimicked, and laughed. “I knew it would be you. I don’t know how, I left you in a damn cage and now…” she raised a chunky arm and gestured at the Observatory.

  “Come aboard! Ashore, whatever.” I couldn’t stop smiling. Good lord, play it cool, you doofus.

  “Can’t,” she said sadly. “Too naked.”

  I would like to point out that I carefully maintained eye contact. “I have a crazy house and some cool alien friends,” I offered.

  “You do? What kind?”

  “Los Cazadores, Makers and Gardeners so far. And some bees.”

  Her eyebrows went up. “All in one spot? Those guys? How did that happen? What the hell are you doing?”

  “I have no idea, but we have stuff to eat.”

  She peered at the island, eyes narrowed. “I wanna see, can I see?”

  “Give us a few minutes, we’ll set up a changing room for you. As long as you’re okay with us being invaded this afternoon.”

  “Invaded by who, the Conclave?”

  “Harrigan thinks I stole his kid.”

  She frowned. “When I was able to go back there, you were gone. Then the girls told me about your escape, and that Doc was freaking out trying to find him. Did you take Sean?”

  “No. I was going to ask if you’d done it yourself.”

  “I couldn’t stand being around that jerk in a social setting, much less kidnapping him. You going to be okay with … an invasion?”

  “I think so, I just have to keep the guys from slaughtering the poor invasion force. I’m hoping we can work something out and turn it into a barbecue. Meet me back here in a little bit.”

  Mandy smiled like the sun, sank beneath the surface and was gone.

  I gleefully shook Schmendrick awake and told her about it. She bit me.