Chapter X - Well This Is Awkward

  

  Over the following days Taija met with Moiraine and talked about the world she was in. No, not the world, the time. The present day. She needed to keep in mind that this was her world.

  Moiraine seemed reluctant to talk about the White Tower or Aes Sedai, always dancing around the topic, but told amusing stories of her travels around the world and gave detailed recountings of what was not the more recent past.

  In turn Taija told her snippets about her own life. Moiraine seemed a bit reluctant to press for information, probably because she was just being sensitive to Taija's loss and in truth Taija was quite grateful for it. While she was starting to get her head around her situation and her talks with Moiraine were helping, she couldn't help that her mind kept going back to Adanza, Jalanda, Paaran Disen, her fiancé, comrades on the front lines, even academic rivals from before the War.

  Another thing on Taija's mind was that she hadn't thanked the young red-headed man yet. Rand al'Thor - she'd found out his full name from some of the servants, or Lord Rand as they called him.

  So Taija made an effort to track him down, asking after him at every opportunity, going to where she'd been told he'd be.

  Even if she might have been able to escape the battle, if she was lucky, by summoning up enough energy to travel, he'd probably saved her life and had definitely saved the lives of everyone else in the Shienaran army at Tarwin's Gap.

  However, every time Taija got close to him she found something stopping her from speaking to him. Sometimes it was Moiraine popping up to talk to her. Other times it was Lan, Moiraine's warder, calling him away for training or a servant telling him or Taija that someone or other needed them.

  In the meantime though Taija at least had the chance to talk a bit with Moiraine's other traveling companions. Lan, Moiraine's warder, was cold and hard, although she was fairly sure there was a lot going on in his head behind the composed exterior. Regardless though, all Taija could get out of him was distant, but perfect politeness.

  The other two boys were easier to get hold of and at least more talkative than Lan. Perrin was a sweet young man, quiet and thoughtful, but Taija was at least able to have a nice conversation with him about the Two Rivers, the area he was from.

  Mat seemed the more interesting of the two. He was clearly a bit of a scoundrel and, on some level, Taija could feel there was something deeply wrong with the dagger on his waist that he kept touching. However, when she caught him somewhat tipsy at a table in a bar he regaled her with tales of traveling through Andor and laughed along with her own stories about mishaps hiking through the mountains near Adanza. That was quite pleasant right up until he remembered she was an aes sedai. The moment he realised, he suddenly backed off with a combination of awkwardness, fear and anger on his face that was less than pleasant. After that Mat had quickly excused himself and fled.

  The girls, Egwene and Nynaeve, didn't seem overly friendly sadly. Egwene had been excited when Taija first spoke to her, wanting to talk about Tar Valon and Aes Sedai. However, she quickly closed off, turning her nose up at her. Taija wasn't sure why, but felt mildly offended.

  Nynaeve was a bit older and when she spoke to Taija she clearly made a point of not using her title. However, unlike Mat who simply seemed to have forgotten, that seemed to be deliberate disrespect rather than friendliness. Taija could practically sense the resentment from her when she talked about getting the three boys and Egwene home safely. Nynaeve had looked defiantly into her eyes and said that she wouldn't allow Aes Sedai manipulation of them.

  It was pretty irritating in fact. Taija was fairly sure Nynaeve wouldn't speak to Moiraine like that. Such were the rewards for trying to be pleasant. Telling Nynaeve she had no intention of manipulating anyone just seemed to make her more irritable. In the end Taija made her excuses and left Nynaeve to herself before she pulled her braid out.

  The final member of Moiraine's party, Loial, was somewhat different. In better times Taija suspected that she'd be much keener to speak to the young Ogier. However, as it was, whenever she saw him he didn't seem able to help himself, asking questions about where she was from, her accent and her background in his low, rumbling voice, before remembering himself and returning to polite formality. Taija did her best not to be rude to him, but in her current mindset she really didn't want to discuss where she came from with a barely adult book-obsessed Ogier.

  =====

  After a week of trying to speak to Rand, Taija couldn't deny it. Someone was trying to stop her from seeing him. Fine.

  There was something going on there and as some of the Shienaran soldiers put it, she was blood and bloody ashes going to find out what it was. One of the funnier things she'd seen here was the locals' facial expressions when they heard her swear. Obviously they didn't expect it from a woman. Or possibly an Aes Sedai. Or maybe, Taija could secretly admit, she just hadn't quite got the hang of it in their language.

  Regardless, she started watching Rand's movements more carefully. If she wasn't just trying to overcome whoever kept getting in the way, she'd call it creepy. After a few days she had results though. He seemed to spend a lot of time practising fencing alone with Lan in a particular tower. She'd heard several of the men in Fal Dara talking in admiring tones about how young Lord Rand was to be a blademaster, so she assumed he must be quite good.

  One morning Taija waited for him to go to the top of his favoured tower to train with Lan and then made her own discrete way to another tower where she could see them from across the walls. A deft pair of inverted webs allowed her to disappear into the background as light was bent around her. It wasn't perfect, if she moved there would be some distortion in the air, but it would have to do.

  Suitably concealed, Taija then spun saidar into a gateway, far more complex than normal, combining the web with one of illusion, so that when it opened right next to the crenelations of Rand's tower there was nothing more than a faint shimmer in the air for her to step through.

  Even though she knew she was moving almost completely silently and the gateway had closed behind her, the clash of their swords wasn't so distracting that Lan didn't look up suspiciously, glancing round the space on top of the tower. Luckily he didn't notice the less than faint shimmer in the air that was Taija as she froze, although her heart threatened to leap out of her throat for a second. Staying still she should have been completely invisible, but he still nearly found her. She would definitely not be able to move any more.

  It felt like hours that Taija had to stand there, completely still, watching the clash of practice swords. It was difficult though. Watching them slashing at each other just brought back too many memories that she just didn't want to deal with. Why had this happened to her? Why was she even... she forced her mind away from the topic and tried to focus on the two men. The sheer array of scars on Lan's topless body was actually impressive in a messed up way. She'd never seen anything quite like it, although she supposed these people didn't have quite the same level of medical care that she was used to.

  Eventually they stopped their practice and put their wooden swords down, sweat glistening on their muscles in the afternoon sun. It was then that Taija released her web of illusion and started clapping. "Bravo! That was really impressive!"

  Lan whirled towards her, frighteningly fast, reaching for a sword that he'd left propped up a few metres away against the wall. Taija barely restrained herself from wrapping him in air, he was a big man! Rand on the other hand actually jumped with a loud shout of surprise.

  "Sorry! Sorry!" Taija quickly apologised. "That seemed like a much better idea in my head than it turned out to be. Please forgive me, I was just hoping to have a word with young uh Lord Rand here. I owe him some thanks." She gave them a friendly smile.

  Lan took a step towards her. "Taija Sedai, honour to you, but the boy is tired…"

  At the same time Rand asked, "thank me for what, uh Taija Sedai?"

  "For saving my life of course. And the Shienarans too. You saved all of us at Tarwin's Gap and for that I owe you my deepest gratitude." Taija gave him a low bow. "Is there a reason why nobody calls you Aes Sedai? You're young, but with that display you must have been channeling for some time. The tests should be trivial and there's no question about your service…"

  Taija's came to a crashing halt as she saw the looks of horror on both Rand and Lan's faces. Actually it was the first time she'd seen any expression other than 'grim' on Lan's face. She thought he must have hidden depths, but they were very well hidden.

  Internally she was kicking herself. She'd allowed her enthusiasm to make her tread all over these people's weird prejudices about male channelers. Of course Rand wasn't an Aes Sedai. They wouldn't allow it.

  Rand was speechless, his jaw working, but no sound coming out of his mouth. Lan on the other hand seemed to snap out of his frozen stupor after a second. He gave Taija a tiny bow and then sprinted for the hatch leading down from the tower without another word.

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  Taija winced, this was not the reaction she was expecting. "Look R… err Lord Rand. I'm sorry, I think I've upset you and Lan." She apologised again. "I really didn't mean to, I just wanted to say thank you to you, that's all."

  Rand was clearly still trying to process what had been said so Taija tentatively offered him a compliment. "You must be very strong in the Power…"

  Rand finally found his voice in response to that, but it was frantic denial. "I I I'm not a Lord or a a an Ses Ded… I mean I can't channel Taija sedai. I swear, I won't do it again!" He slumped. "Have you come to gentle me? They said you were Red Ajah."

  Taija was really struggling with his reaction. She knew these people had a strange taboo about men channeling. It seemed to come from what Moiraine had said about the Breaking and poor Lews Therin, but after 3,000 years it was a ridiculous over reaction. Still, she should do her best to be sensitive. He was barely more than a boy and he did grow up with all of these prejudices.

  "Please Rand, may I call you Rand?" He nodded slowly, "I'm not going to gentle you." Taija paused to think. "Actually, what exactly is gentling?"

  Rand's disbelieving laugh was better than the horrified terror it replaced, but Taija was starting to think the poor boy needed a friend if nothing else. Maybe she could get him hanging out with Aleksi. He was just as far from home as Rand was and didn't even have the benefit of his friends traveling with him.

  Taija gave Rand a reassuring smile and sat down on the wooden floor, folding her legs demurely under her, bloody dress she'd rather sit cross legged. "Here, sit down and let's talk." She smiled up at him and patted the ground beside her until he reluctantly took his own seat.

  =====

  Moiraine sat, exhausted, in the high backed chair in front of the ornate desk that graced her room. She felt like she had aged a decade in the last few weeks. First the precipitous run through the Ways, then the Eye of the World and the horror of being confronted with nightmares straight out of myth. Being casually brushed aside by Aginor and finally the broken seal to the Dark One's prison.

  On one level she should have been delighted, they had foiled the Shadow. Not only had Shienar and perhaps the world been saved, two members of the Forsaken were dead and she was also reaching the culmination of her life's journey. The Dragon Reborn had been found and she was ready to guide him to Tarmon Gaidon.

  And yet. This Taija… She wasn't going to call her 'Sedai' in the safety of her own head. Was that woman so arrogant that she thought everyone around her was an idiot? Or was she simply so powerful that she did not care? Moiraine was not sure.

  It had all started to go wrong when she returned to Fal Dara with the Horn of Valere and Lord Agelmar had excitedly told her about Taija appearing from nowhere and fighting alongside the Shienarans to defeat the shadowspawn. A woman of incredible power and joining the battle at such a fortuitous moment. She had even felt a hint of censorship in his tone, poking through the deference to her status as an Aes Sedai, as he wondered why she had not been there helping the Shienarans too.

  Women impersonating Aes Sedai were rare of course, anyone with any sense knew that the White Tower would exact its revenge when it inevitably caught them, but they did appear occasionally. Women claiming to be Aes Sedai who could wield the One Power with great strength on the other hand were much rarer.

  Still, before she actually met Taija she had had to admit, she had been away from the Tower for a good while and it was not unheard of for Aes Sedai to travel under false names. She did it herself often enough. However, the woman's story had clearly been a lie. She had claimed to be Red Ajah and yet also had a warder and regardless, there was no way she would not have been aware of a sister of significant power who was so newly raised as to not yet have the ageless face.

  For what must be the hundredth time Moiraine's mind went back to that first meeting with Taija. A sweet, innocent, almost deferential and certainly not ageless face, perhaps Murandian in appearance, crowned by black hair tied back with a simple cord. Pretty, young and utterly lacking in any of the fashion or sophistication that Moiraine would expect from a sister. The only thing that matched was the red dress she wore. Moiraine suspected Lord Agelmar had provided that.

  When she had first seen Taija, Moiraine had thought it was clear that she was impersonating an Aes Sedai. She had had no doubt the Tower would have its due when the time came, but she had decided she was not going to get involved at that point given the Shienarans' gratitude to this Taija. One could say she had earnt a measure of forbearance and Moiraine had had other priorities.

  That had all changed when Taija opened her mouth. She spoke the Common Tongue oddly, sometimes having to think about words, sometimes choosing ones that did not quite fit. However, it was her accent that had given Moiraine one of the biggest shocks of her life. She had never heard one like it before. Except once, gloating at her at the Eye of the World. The soft voice of the young woman was not the same as the harsh, grating tones of Aginor, but she could not deny the similarity in the way they clipped words short, made everything sound like it should have more consonants.

  That had been bad enough, but it was when Taija noticed Rand that Moiraine truly began to be afraid. The woman clearly knew who he was and at that point Moiraine realised that the worst enemies were not necessarily those that simply attacked with overwhelming force.

  Since then Moiraine had felt like she had been living in a terror fueled fugue. Even with her angreal, after Aginor she was under no illusion that she could fight one of Them. She was simply too weak. For now 'Taija' was doing no visible harm so Moiraine would in turn pretend to be unaware, but she knew that at any moment that woman might decide that now was the time to strike. She could no doubt kill Moiraine with casual ease and then move on with her plans for Rand.

  Conversations with Taija were of little help to Moiraine. That first conversation, once she'd steeled herself enough to be able to stay in a room with that woman without wanting to either throw every ounce of power she had at her or run away as fast as she could, had been illuminating. It seemed that Taija had little awareness of what had gone in the world during her imprisonment. When she fled that first time, Moiraine half-thought it might be the first genuine behaviour she had seen from the woman.

  Of course 'Taija' might just be lying about her ignorance, but Moiraine did not think so. Nothing was really known about the Forsakens' imprisonment and she saw no reason why it could not have affected different individuals differently. Aginor and Balthamel had clearly been damaged in different ways. So it seemed perfectly plausible that one or more of them might have been released without realising what had happened to the world since the Breaking.

  When they talked more Moiraine told her harmless things about the world, little that she could use in the here and now and in return learnt all too little about Taija. She could only assume that anything she did say was as much of a lie as some of her other ridiculous stories. What she'd initially said about her imprisonment rang true though… A battle, male channelers and then nothing for 3,000 years. Of course she had ruined it later with her ridiculous story about being discovered by a farmer who was now her warder. Presumably she realised how suspicious it sounded.

  Having to hide her concern, her fear and even revulsion was bad enough. Worse was when Taija started trying to talk to Rand. Of course she would be seeking out the Dragon Reborn. Clearly she did not plan to kill him, that would have been far too easy under the circumstances so she must have some other goal. Perhaps to turn him. Surely having the Dragon Reborn turn to the Shadow would be an even greater victory than achieving his death. Moiraine would do anything to prevent that from happening though, even if she had to kill Rand herself.

  So far Moiraine's efforts to keep them apart had been successful, but she feared that that could not last forever. Perhaps, just perhaps, if it could last until the Amyrlin arrived then something could be done though.

  It was with these thoughts running through Moiraine's head that she was interrupted by Lan bursting into her room, the door slamming into the wall with a bang. The outraged squawk of a serving woman pursuing him was ignored as he gasped to Moiraine, "up the tower, she was there, they're together, nothing I could do!"

  Moiraine did not hesitate, there was no time for that. Ignoring her headache, her tiredness, she sprang to her feet embracing saidar through her angreal and headed towards the tower. She did not run, that would have raised too many questions among the Shienarans, but she certainly walked faster than would strictly be polite, barely acknowledging the greetings of those she passed. At least those that weren't so intimidated by the grim set of her face that they flattened themselves against the wall to let her by.

  As Moiraine made her way to the tower she went back to replaying another debate in her head. Which one was she? There was so little information to work with. Mesaana? She had mentioned being a scholar, if that was not another lie. Probably not Graendal or Semirhage, from what little she knew they simply did not fit. Moghedien maybe? Could it be Lanfear? She was said to have had a fixation with Lews Therin Telamon…

  It was with these thoughts going through her head that she pulled herself up the ladder to the top of the tower. Reaching the top she wove air and blasted open the trapdoor immediately before she lifted herself above the floor level.

  She hadn't been sure what she would see, but it wasn't Taija and Rand casually sitting on the floor, a perfectly respectable distance apart she idly noted, both looking towards her with shocked faces.

  It was enough to make her pause and then Rand smiled for what might be the first time she'd seen since the Eye of the World and called out, "Moiraine Sedai you won't believe what Taija's told me, it's incredible. Please, join us."

  Moiraine sighed and slowly pulled herself through the hatch to be followed by Lan to go and sit down, although she kept hold of saidar. What on earth was she going to do now?

  =====

  Taija stared at Moiraine as she joined them, the golden aura of someone holding saidar bright around her. She must have an angreal, she was holding enough of the Power to match Taija's own limits and she knew Moiraine wasn't that strong.

  For once Moiraine's always controlled face had lost its composure and she looked unsure whether she should be furious or in tears. Taija wondered whether this was because she'd been talking to Rand. Was Moiraine the one that kept stopping that from happening? If so, she really couldn't work out why. Perhaps it was something to do with saidin? Rand had certainly seemed worried about that.

  Either way, Taija felt like the situation was close to getting out of control and someone needed to be the grown-up. So she forced a smile. "Welcome Moiraine, it's good to see you. We've been having a lovely chat and it'll be nice to have you join us."

  Even ignoring Moiraine's odd entrance, Taija was a bit irritated with her. The poor boy had been terrified when she first spoke to him and it felt like at least part of that was from the way Moiraine had been ignoring him since Tarwin's Gap. Taija still wasn't sure what Moiraine had been doing while she was at the battle, Rand had seemed particularly reluctant to talk about it, so she hadn't pressed him, but clearly something was going on.

  Regardless, Taija thought a lot of what he needed to get him out of his funk, at least temporarily, was just a sympathetic ear and some chatting about life. She wasn't sure Rand really believed some of her stories about the 'Age of Legends' or even that she really was an aes sedai, but her willingness to listen to him without criticism seemed to work to reassure and eventually relax him.