Telif, Arxur Defector

  Date [Standardized Human Time]: December 8, 2136

  I stared into the mirror, the gaunt tired eyes of a monster stared back at me, reminding me I would never truly be welcome here. The humans were disgusted by me. I could tell from the way they looked at me when they thought I couldn’t see. Beth had even approached me about the stench of death in my breath and given me a brush to deal with it, but that hadn’t stopped how they reacted whenever they saw me eating. The gags they tried to muffle. The disdain in their eyes. They want to see me burn the same way the prey did.

  Can you blame them after what you’ve done?

  I opened the cabinet, pulled out a vrassi leaf, and began chewing on it. The hunger reducing plants were my one solace but my supply was dwindling. I was lucky Doctor Havashir hadn’t tossed them when he found them in my gear, but I had explained they helped with hunger pains and he reluctantly let me keep them. The rumbling from my stomach slowly resided and I let out a sigh of relief.

  “Thank the prophet I don’t have to work today,” I grumbled to myself as I looked over my form, tracing a claw along my chest. I knew I needed to eat soon, but ever since my conversation with Jacob last Monday all I could think about whenever I tried to force something down my gullet was that look of bitter disgust on his face.

  “Why did you tell him the truth? One person here that was starting to like you and you chased him off. Now he won’t even talk to you,” I chided my reflection. “Idiot.”

  The events of that day had been playing in my mind on repeat. Jacob and I were chatting and he had asked me what life was like in the Dominion. I was honest that it was lonely, that I barely spoke from fear of being punished, how I was constantly hungry. At first he had seemed pitying of my situation, but I told him too much. How they would starve us till our minds began to shut down and we became mere animals. That all I could think of during a raid was my next meal. I tried to tell him I never ate anyone alive. That I always aimed for the head so they didn’t suffer. But the look he gave me told me none of that mattered. All I was to him now was a sapient eating monster.

  Ever since then our conversations had been limited to what was needed to complete the job. I tried to tell myself it was better this way. Better that he find out the truth and leave me now before I made the mistake of thinking I could change. Why had I thought I deserved to be happy? That I was anything more than a waste of scales and flesh. I should have just let Betterment kill me when I was a child. Why did I deserve to live if my existence meant others had to die? How many innocent herbivores would be alive if my mother had just turned me over when she realized I was defective instead of shielding me.

  I trudged out of the bathroom and collapsed on my bed. Maybe if I closed my eyes long enough I could wake up as someone else? A sudden banging on my door ruined that plan. I used what little energy I had to drag myself to the front of my trailer.

  “Open up Telif, I know you’re in there lizard man. You ain’t got anywhere else to go.” Jacob’s voice called out. What was he doing here on our day off?

  I opened the door, shielding my eyes from the harsh sunlight pouring in. “Jacob? What are-” I was cut off as the human pushed his way past me into my home before plopping down on my couch.

  “Mind turning on a light? I can’t see shit.” I flicked on the rarely used overhead light. “Thanks. Listen, we need to talk.”

  “What about?” I was still trying to process his sudden arrival.

  “You know exactly what,” he said pointedly. “But first, you eat anything today?”

  “Yes,” I lied.

  “You’re a terrible liar, Tel,.” he sighed. “I can see your ribs dude, this isn’t healthy.”

  “I’m not hungry, it’s fine,” I growled.

  “Don’t give me that shit.” He stood up and walked towards my fridge. “You’re gonna eat some-” he cut off mid sentence as he opened the fridge before slamming it closed again. “Fuck me, that stench could strip the paint off a building. Goddamn dude how long have you left those bags open?”

  “A week or more.”

  He slapped his palm against his forehead. “You can’t let it sit that long dude, raw meat spoils fast once it’s open.”

  “I know…”

  He sighed loudly. “Well, I’m not opening that fridge again and I’m also not letting you eat anything in it. Come on, let’s go.”

  “Go where?” I asked confusedly.

  “My house. We’ll talk and eat there.”

  “But Beth said I need to stay here out of sight!” I protested.

  “Yeah, well she ain’t here right now, is she?” I opened my mouth but he cut me off. “I don’t wanna hear it, you overgrown crocodile. Get your scaly butt in my car.” He softened a bit as he noticed the concern in my body language. “Listen, it’ll be fine. I’ll tint the windows so no one can see in, and we’ll pull right into my garage so no one sees you get out. Okay?”

  “But what if B-” I began

  “She won’t find out unless we tell her, and if she does I’ll take the blame. So quit yer belly achin’ and get a move on.”

  “Alright fine, I’ll come with you.” I conceded, following Jacob to his car, and hesitantly climbing in the back while he hopped into the front seat. He hit the home button on the car's navigation system, before dimming the windows to a much more bearable darkness for my sensitive eyes as the vehicle began its journey. A few minutes passed before I decided to break the silence. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

  “It can wait till we get you something to eat, I’m only about thirty minutes away.”

  I tilted my head at him. “Why does it have to wait?”

  “Because it’s important and I don’t want you feeling faint because you haven’t eaten in what, a week or more, while we talk.” He replied with a hint of frustration leaking into his voice.

  “Understood,” I replied like my mom had just caught me sneaking rations in the middle of the night.

  Jacob sighed, noticing how tense I was. “I’m not going to hurt you or anything. We don’t do that kinda thing on Earth. I just need to talk to you, promise.” He reached out and patted me on the leg. “Now, how ‘bout some tunes while we drive?”

  I hadn’t heard what the humans considered music before, so I was interested in what he would put on. My only real exposure to music thus far had been Arxur Military Anthems and music the herbivores sometimes would be listening to when we snuck up on them during a raid. I couldn’t say I had been a huge fan of either. Jacob looked through his datapad for a bit before finally finding something he thought I would enjoy. He said it was an old Earth band from far before he was born, but one he greatly enjoyed for their “political messages”, whatever that meant.

  Even with my translator implant giving me the direct translation of the words the singer had recorded over one hundred years ago, I still didn’t quite understand what exactly it was about. But I could feel the anger in every word he screamed out, and loved the violent thrashing sounds of the instruments. I asked Jacob what it was about and he said this band was famous in their time for their anti-war and [capitalism] messages. I was surprised to find out that even back then the human governments would allow open protests like this. From what I had read of their history they used to be as violent as us, why would opposing war be a popular type of music back then? Did this mean there were humans out there who were against a war with the Federation, despite their extinction attempt on their planet? I wasn’t sure I would ever completely understand this strange species, but I did like their music.

  Jacob played a few more of their songs for me, and offered to let me use his Musify account so I could stream them for myself when I got back home, which I happily accepted. The car came to a stop, letting us know we had arrived at our destination. Jacob asked me to wait in the car for a moment so he could make sure all of the blinds were closed. After a few short minutes he returned and escorted me inside. My jaw dropped as I entered his home and I saw the luxury he lived in. Multiple rooms, a large television, a ceiling that was high enough that I didn’t have to crouch everywhere I went, and this was just the first floor!

  “This place is huge!” I said excitedly. “You must come from a prestigious bloodline to be able to live like this!”

  Jacob laughed. “Nah, not really. Parents got this place for cheap since there’s nothing to do around here, and I inherited it when they died.”

  My tail drooped. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had lost your family. Was it during the attack?”

  “Don’t sweat it, it was a long time ago.” He patted my back, earning a slight tail wag, which was becoming uncomfortably common, from me. “Anyway, let’s get you something to eat.” I followed him to his kitchen, which was equally as impressive as the first room we entered, and watched as he pulled a large slab of meat out of the fridge. “You guys just eat it raw, right?”

  “That is correct.”

  “Well, in that case, bon appetit!” He said, cheerily tossing me the hunk of flesh. I stared down at the bloody slab in my claws, my mind painting pictures of wailing Venlil-pups as I tried to will myself to devour it. “What’s wrong, does it smell off? I just got it yesterday so it should still be good.”

  “No… It’s just..”

  “Just what?”

  I growled in frustration. “It’s nothing.”

  “Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

  “You humans are so annoying, you know that?”

  “So we’ve been told. Now are you gonna keep bitching or are you gonna eat?” He crossed his arms and stared at me.

  “Fine if it gets you to stop this incessant yapping.” I lifted the meat to my mouth, snapping it down in one bite. “Happy now?”

  This story originates from a different website. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

  “I’d be happier if you actually chewed, that was grosser than those guys who shove an entire chicken wing in their mouth and pull it out clean!”

  “No one made you watch,” I grumbled.

  “Oh lighten up.” He laughed. “Just given ya a hard time, Tel.”

  I growled in irritation again as he signaled for me to follow him back to the room with the couch, plopping down on a seat across from him. Was this frustrating primate finally going to tell me why he dragged me here?

  “So, you finally gonna tell me what crawled up your ass to make you act like this?” He crossed his arms again.

  “What do you mean?” I asked indignantly.

  “Don’t give me that shit, you know exactly what I mean.”

  “How would you know how I’ve been acting? You’ve avoided me all week.”

  “Fuck off dude, you think I’ve been avoiding you? Any time I tried to get near you you acted cold and pissy with me, so I was giving you some space, but after a week of being given the cold shoulder I decided to see what your problem with me is. I thought we were friends.”

  He thought we were friends?

  I opened my mouth to speak but found I was having trouble forming the words. Jacob looked at me impatiently. “Well, you gonna say anything? Tell me if I am wasting my fucking time here and I’ll just take you back to your trailer and never bother you again.”

  “It’s..”

  “It’s what? Spit it out.”

  “I-I disgust you.” I finally managed to choke out.

  Jacob looked taken aback and his posture softened. “What gave you that stupid idea?”

  “You don’t have to pretend I don’t. I saw how you reacted to what I did.”

  “What you did?” He seemed confused. “Wait, is this about what you told me Monday?” I looked away in shame, confirming his suspicions. “For fucks sake Telif. That’s what all this shit’s been about?”

  “Of-of course it is. You couldn’t even look at me after I told you about participating in raids and eating sapient flesh. You clearly think I am a monster.”

  “Tel… I’m not gonna lie to you, what you did was reprehensible.” I felt my heart sink as he confirmed my fears and my head sank. “Hey, look at me you alligator. I’m not finished.” I raised my head, tears starting to form in my eyes. Jacob sighed and stood up, walking over to sit next to me. “None of that. Let me finish before you get all mopey. As I was saying. What you did was awful, BUT it’s not like you had a choice. We already know the Federation tried to starve your people to death, and that if you dared question your superiors you would have been executed. Fear and survival instincts are powerful motivators. I’m not saying it absolves you completely, but I don’t think you’re the irredeemable monster you think you are. A monster wouldn’t go out of his way to rescue a species he just met. A monster wouldn’t comfort someone he just met, and a monster definitely wouldn’t be trying so damn hard to prove he can be better. You might never be able to make up for what you’ve done, but you keep trying, and that’s what matters.” He wrapped his arms around me, like I had done the first day we met. “You wanna know why I looked so disgusted at your story?”

  “Why?” I asked, holding back the tears.

  “Because of what they did to you. Starving you to the point of madness. Beating you for not being cruel enough in killing. It made me furious that someone as kind as you was forced to do those things. I couldn’t believe they would do that to my friend. That’s why I looked so upset.”

  “So you don’t hate me?”

  He lightly tapped my snout. “Do you really have to ask that you dumb lizard?”

  “I guess not.” I laughed as he pulled me into a hug.

  “Good, now enough of this mopey shit,” he said, standing up and clapping his hands together. “Let’s have some fun. You drink?”

  “What, like water?” I tilted my head.

  “Of course not you fucking nerd,” he chided. “Alcohol!”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever had any.”

  “Really? It’s not like, lethal to you guys, is it?”

  “I have no idea.”

  Jacob pulled out his data pad. “Okay google, can Arxur drink alcohol?... Hmmm, google doesn’t know. Well shit, probably shouldn’t risk it since we can’t really bring you to a hospital if it goes poorly. Well shit, there goes my idea.”

  “You can still drink it if you want. I don’t mind.”

  “Nahhh, getting drunk by yourself isn’t fun, it’s just sad. How ‘bout some video games instead?”

  “Video games?” I asked curiously.

  “...Please tell me you guys had video games.”

  “Betterment didn’t believe in things as childish as games…”

  “Jesus fuck, you didn’t have a childhood at all, did you?” he said with a pitying tone. “Well, that settles it, you’re spending the night and we are gonna game our asses off.” I began to open my mouth to ask if this was a good idea but he quickly interrupted me. “Nope, this is an order soldier. You’re gonna have fun tonight and you are gonna like it.”

  I resigned myself to my fate as Jacob handed me a controller that was way too small for my paws and definitely not made for my clawed fingers. He plopped down on the couch next to me, with his own controller looking much more comfortable in his grip, and booted up his console he called “the game sphere”. He decided we would play a co-op game together since, as he put it, “playing against someone as new as me would be a form of bullying” and launched Halo Combat Evolved Remastered 2127 version. He claimed the original game came out at the turn of the millennium, but every ten or so years they remaster it again since the studio can’t make any other successful games.

  ~*~

  It was clear immediately that these controllers were not made with Arxur claws in mind as I struggled to do even the most basic actions and found myself dying non-stop at the first enemy encounter. My large clawed thumbs were not dexterous enough for the tiny sticks required for aiming and I kept spinning in circles by accident. I was worried Jacob would be frustrated with me for how poorly I was doing, but he spent the entire time laughing so hard that he wouldn’t be able to defend himself and we would both get killed. After a few hours of playing we had managed to beat about three total levels.

  Jacob was starting to get hungry but said he was too lazy to cook and was just going to order some take out. I couldn’t believe the luxury humans lived in. They could just pull out their data pad and under an hour later food would be brought right to their doorstep! If my people knew this I think Earth would become overrun with Dominion defectors on the spot. I was a little worried when he said a human would bring it to his doorstep and drop it off, but he assured me they wouldn’t need to come inside so there was no chance I would be noticed. He ordered us something called [hamburgers], ordering mine cooked as rare as they would let him select and with all of the toppings removed. A short time later we heard a knocking on the door. I once again asked Jacob if I should hide in another room, but he was adamant if I just laid on the couch there was no way they would see me in the brief time he had the door open to grab our food.

  “Order for Jacob Mc…Cow…Sky?”

  “That’s me, thanks!”

  “Have a good da- HOLY SHIT IS THAT AN ALIEN?”

  Fuck fuck fuck.

  I looked up to try and figure out how he saw me, and made eye contact with his reflection in Jacob’s door staring directly at me.

  “W-what, no way. W-why would there be an alien here?” Jacob stuttered out unconvincingly.

  “Bro there is definitely an alien on your couch! Can I meet it please?”

  Jacob shot me an apologetic look. “I’m uh not sure that’s a good idea.”

  “Come on man pleaseeeeeee, I promise I won’t tell anyone you have it here!”

  “...Fuck, okay. Just don’t tell anyone, he’s here for his own safety.”

  “Woaaahhhhh, is it like alien witness protection? That’s fucking sick dude!” I awkwardly stood up to greet him. “Holy fuck it’s massive! When I heard they were called Venlil I thought they would be like, lil ya know?”

  Jacob and I shared a dumbfounded look. “Ummm, he’s not a Venlil. He’s an Arxur.”

  “An Arx-or? Aren’t those the lizards that like eat people?”

  Maybe we should have just let him think I was a Venlil…

  Jacob sighed. “He’s here because he doesn’t like to hurt people and that is a problem for his government, so don’t say that about him, please.”

  “No prob no prob.” He bobbed his head up and down. “What’s it’s name?”

  “My name is Telif.” I was a little insulted that he kept calling me “it”.

  The new human jumped as I spoke. “Holy shit it just hissed at me! Bro is it gonna eat me?!?! You can have my tips just don’t feed me to it!” he begged.

  “What? No he was just telling you his name?”

  “Whaaaaaat? You can understand it?”

  “...Yes? Do you not have a translator implant?”

  “Nahhhh dude. I wanted to get it but like my mom won’t let me. She was all “Kevin there is no way I am letting the government put a tracking device in your brain! They’ll use it to control your thoughts and make you want to sleep with those horrible Venlil and let them implant you with eggs.”

  Jacob looked as baffled as I felt. “Yeah I don’t think Venlil implant eggs in people. But HE definitely will not do anything like that.”

  “Sick sick. I knew my mom was full of shit. So like why is it with you?” He gasped loudly. “WAIT, Are you two dating? Oh my god! That is so fucking cool I want an alien girlfriend to!”

  Jacob slapped his palm to his forehead. “What? I don’t even know where to begin with that. Telif and I are just friends. I’m not into guys.”

  “Wait wait wait? It’s a guy? Then where’s it’s…?” he looked at my waist for some reason before Jacob cut him off.

  “Yes! He’s a guy! And can you stop referring to my friend as an “it”? That’s not cool.”

  “Oh shit, I’m sorry man. I like always refer to animals as it.”

  “Well, he’s not an animal.” Jacob was starting to get annoyed.

  “Sorry sorry! Oh!” he fumbled with his pants for a second before pulling out a datapad. “Can I get a picture with i-him? Please please please I promise not to show anyone.”

  “That is a terrible idea. I told you he’s here for his own protection, we can't risk that,” Jacob scolded.

  “Come ooooooon man, you get to see him every day! It’s not fair, I just want a picture! I promise not to tell anyone if you let me.”

  Why did he emphasize the “if” there? Unless…Oh no.

  Jacob seemed to notice the phrasing too and was visibly nervous. “Okay, fuck fine, you can take one picture with him, but you can’t post it or show it to anyone, understand? It could put his life at risk.”

  “I promise!” The younger human was visibly giddy as he ran up next to me, holding his datapad out. “Say [cheese]” I didn’t even have time to react before he snapped a photo of the two of us. “Oh shit, I gotta run, I'm late for my next delivery!” he shouted as he sprinted out the door, finally leaving Jacob and me alone.

  “Fuck, Tel I am so fucking sorry.” His voice was panicked. “You were so right you should have hid. I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s alright.” I tried my best to reassure us both. “He promised he wouldn’t tell anyone.”

  “Fuck he’d better not. I can’t believe I risked your safety for fucking [burgers]!”

  “Maybe you should have said I would eat him if he told anyone.” I said awkwardly, trying to lighten the mood.

  Jacob laughed. “Please Tel, not even a toddler could be threatened by a softie like you.” He gave me a playful shove.”That and we don’t want him running to the cops saying you tried to eat him, might get you deported…”

  The mood had noticeably soured as we ate our food, but this [burger] as Jacob called it was absolutely delicious if a bit small. We tried to play some more video games, but neither of us were really feeling it after our encounter with Kevin, so we ended up just watching some TV. Jacob introduced me to a new show called “The Simpsons” which was apparently on its 150th season. He said only the first ten were worth watching however, so we spent our time watching his favorite episodes. I didn’t quite get all of the jokes, but I still quite enjoyed it and it definitely improved both of our moods. After a few more hours we were both starting to doze off on the couch and decided to call it a night. Jacob said he would take me home in the morning since he wanted to help me clean out my fridge and it was “too late for that shit” tonight, so I curled up on the couch and hoped I would have a restful sleep for once.

  Or at the very least, I don’t tear up his couch too bad…