TriNcess

  "Alright, here we are. Remember, you aren't allowed to come back till tomorrow! Your goal is any closed door."

  And with that, I get shoved into the open doorway as the crazy vampire closes it behind me. Thank the Saints for night vision. Darkvision? Eh Tiefling biology. The results of Drusil's training have improved a fair bit after almost three weeks; applying prodigious amounts of shapeshifting along with fire and light magic to distract and blind helped. The sadistic and beautiful vampire I'm staying with cims I need practical experience now. Hence... hallways? Catacombs? She said a whole lot about it but didn't actually expin anything.

  While I'm pretty sure I've always known I'm a stubborn, petunt, petty person, Drusil turns me into a weak-willed lump of noodles. She smiles at me and calls me cute names, and I just follow along with her insane pns. Somehow going into the heart of what turns out to be a fucking ancient relic of a flying building, which she uses as a base to clear out "the rooms we couldn't be bothered with," alone, with no idea what's down here, sounded much more appealing before I was shoved in here. At least I wasn't completely alone.

  Pulling Batsy out of my bag of holding and letting him rest on my head, I stare at the ceiling, which is leaking some sort of smoke-like substance that moves like it's water.

  "Well, that's not ominous at all. What do you think, Batsy?" I say to no response.

  "Yeah, I thought so as well. Go forward, find a door, leave? This pce is oddly empty considering I was sent here for 'practical experience'."

  Patting Batsy's tail that's wrapped along my neck, I figure with my emotional support for Batsy and liberal use of magic, this shouldn't be too bad.

  "Hmmm.. Your dy seems sorta iffy on the Fey thing, so maybe I stick to elementals. No sense risking someone tricking me with a gift of a flower only to cim my leg ter as fair payment."

  Cracking my knuckles and neck, I get to work and concentrate. Casting spells is quite easy, but summoning and conjuring things is a lot of effort. Even with the brutal training from all nine circles of hell rolled into one session. After a solid minute of focus, I'm rewarded with a rush of warm air, the sound of crackling logs, and light! I've got myself a rather tall, vaguely human-shaped blob of fire.

  "Right. Imma name you Bsty. You lead and keep me safe, friend."

  I'll just let Bsty get a few minutes ahead of me and see if anything pops up.

  ***

  Well, that didn't take long. Probably been around fifteen minutes. Bsty got real, well, bsty. I have him drag what he's been killing back and... huh...

  "What the actual fuck is this?" I ask, staring at the burnt caved-in skull of a vaguely human-looking thing except it has lizard-like legs.

  "Alright. Bsty imma be right behind you; when we find the next things, just kill them but leave one to me. We'll say which ever one is most to the right."

  Walking past the many creatures on the floor, bodies like burnt bacon, there's not a lot of simirity between them. Some of them have lizard-like limbs, one has a set of wings with what I assume used to be feathers, and a few have finned tails. Did that crazy vampire throw me into some sort of pit for a crazy scientist?

  Oh, this one's still whole. Well, except for the hole in it's chest. Guessing Bsty punched right through it. Disgusting yellowish grey skin. Covered in bandages that might have been clothing at one point, sorta melted into the skin. Skull cking any discernible features being, well, a skull. Undead. Huh. Checks out. Poking at it reveals a surprisingly firm body for the state it's in. Not sure if that's normal. Lifting the skull lets a weird... sludge... run out, and I nearly gag at the smell.

  "Alright Batsy. Let's keep our fingers crossed that everything else here is as sad as this guy. If we're lucky, we might finish early and not have to deal with a bath or getting hurt. Yes, Batsy, those are the priorities. Don't you look at me like that."

  Time to catch up to Bsty! Oh boy, he really didn't wait at all. Rude. Well, I guess it's fine; I haven't heard any fwooshy noises or anything.

  ***

  I think I've been here for a month. I had to dismiss Bsty because, Christ, was he a drain for how easy these things are to deal with. Zombie guy pops out of wall, shove a scorching ray or three into his face. Weird flying undead comes at you? Earthbind it to the ground and stab it in the skull. A group of shambling chimeric creatures run at you? Fireball. Really. What am I supposed to be learning down here? That I am definitely not gonna be an adventurer and undead smell? It seems obvious enough if you've met me. I miss being pampered and getting to read and eat. I did find some open rooms, but they were clean. Like super clean. You could probably throw a sick person on the ground there, and they'd be at no risk of infection. Guessing that's Drusil and her cronies cleaning up the pce from whatever was there.

  "Oh well. No rest for the weary Batsy; let's keep on keeping on."

  It's a long walk of creepy, ominous silence with the occasional ragged gasping of various undead, but eventually I find a door that's closed. Freedom! Well almost. Gotta get in there and clear up whatever it is. Can't be too bad based on the shit I've been meeting. Guessing everything's had time to, like, wither down in mana or decay or whatnot.

  Approaching the doors, I push on them and open them with, frankly, startling ease. I have no measurable upper body strength, and those were two giant, apparently well lubricated, stone doors. Entering there's a hiccup though. Some sort of barrier force field type deal. Hmmmmm... Password? Mana signature type shit? Blergh. Let's dump a solid, I don't know, tenth of my mana into Dispel Magic and see what happens.

  Oh gosh, that's bright. Sparkly too. Oh shit, that's not good.

  "Hello! Pleasedon'thurtme"

  Right in front of the now dispelled force field there's a male-looking creature in light armor. White eyes locked straight on me. He's opening his arms and about to tackle me, fuckfuckfuck, nope. What. Oh gods. I just sort of freeze as he instead starts to pull at his flesh and rip it apart, his torso elongating and blood sparying.

  "WHAT IS HAPPENING!?"