|【「Volume 1」  By the Waterfall with you】|

  "Elysia!"I shouted as I stretched my hand for her, but she was too far away. No matter how far I reached, it was too far for me to reach her.

  She was walking further and further away from me, without looking back and with the three angst commanders walking beside her, cd in armor.

  I was running behind her, hoping that she would reach out to my hand.

  But she refused to look behind, she refused to turn around and confront me.

  Each second she got further away from me until her presence wasn't here anymore, nor her warmth.

  The pedestrians clouded her presence even more, dislocating me where I was.

  If that is what she wants, then it's fine.

  I stumbled and fell down on the ground, the stone scratching my fingers.

  I'm sure she will be happy there.

  Others were walking around me, and some stepped on my hands.

  "I-It's perfectly fine."

  My vision got cloudy all of a sudden, everything seemed to blur a bit and water drops fell on the ground.

  I'm sure... it's all fine.

  A bit ter, a bunch of water drops started to fall on the ground.

  "Ah."

  My eyes stung for a moment, and everything was watery.

  "Why am I crying?"My voice trembled as I rubbed my eyes to stop the tears.

  But no matter how hard I tried to control it, the tears wouldn't stop coming out.

  My heart aches every second. I feel like there is a hole in my stomach. I must go see her.

  I want to see her.

  After a while, I stood up and started walking back home. Some collided with me, sometimes I fell down or stumbled, but I still managed to keep walking.

  Why?

  My mind tells me to leave her be, she will be happy, but my heart longs for her every passing moment.

  No...

  "Watch where ya going, brat."Someone said something to me, but I couldn't hear it.

  "Are you okay?"Another voice came to me. I wonder what it's saying.

  I can't understand it.

  All the noise around me is gone, everything is silent. I can't hear anything.

  I can't tell what's in front of me. All I can do is walk straight, hoping to end up somewhere.

  I want to scream, but I can't scream, nor can I talk.

  I feel like there's a lump stuck in my throat, like my voice is being blocked by something...

  Why did she have to leave?

  It was going as usual untilsuddenly those angst commanders discovered us and she walked away with them.

  I tried to stop her, but my body wouldn't move, and before I knew it, she was out of my reach.

  It wasn't because I couldn't move, I'm sure it was because I cked the courage to do so.

  I couldn't think of anything anymore.

  The more I thought, the more my chest tightened, the more it was difficult to breathe.

  Everything was silent, everything felt suffocating.

  I reached an old house, isoted from others, far away from the town.

  I opened the door, and before I knew it, I was lying on the bed.

  In the next moment, I was holding a knife against my throat, but dropped it and cried for a while, only to lie on the bed and fall asleep.

  A memory of her taking care of me while I was sick came to me. The bed felt like that day, but there was something missing.

  I still remember her getting flustered over trying to feed me.

  The time where she fell into the ke, and the time where she told me to become friends.

  The time where we met at the waterfall.

  Every moment now feels so precious.

  I don't have any appetite, but my stomach feels empty.

  My throat feels dry, but I'm not thirsty.

  I want to die, but I'm too weak to die.

  I don't want to do anything.

  I just want to sit here and suffer.

  I was being too selfish.

  Yeah, I deserve this. My rotten self doesn't deserve anything, and yet why does it hurt so much?

  In the first pce, I knew she had a fiancé, so why did I even get so attached to her? Why am I even thinking about her?

  What is this feeling?

  Why do I want to see her?

  Why does it pain me every time I imagine her being happy with another person other than me?

  But I should be happy since she is happy.

  I'm so pathetic...

  I sat there, curled up on the cold wooden floor, my body trembling as the emptiness inside me grew with each passing second.

  Everything felt too distant, yet so close.

  I clenched my fists, my nails digging into my palms, hoping that pain would lessen the turmoil inside my heart, but it didn’t change how empty I felt.

  Why couldn’t I just let go?

  Why did I have to hold on to something that was never mine?

  I smmed my fist against the floor, but it only made the pain worse. My whole body ached, my throat tight with the words I couldn’t say.

  I don’t know how long I stayed there. Time didn’t matter anymore. It felt like I was stuck in an endless moment—a moment of nothingness. A moment where she wasn’t here, and I was left alone in this void of regret.

  I got up and saw something fall on the floor.

  I looked down, the floor barely visible through the haze of tears in my eyes.

  I reached for it, my hands shaking as I picked it up, the paper crinkling in my grip. It was a small note.

  I am sorry.

  It was handwriting simir to Elysia's.

  But why is she sorry?

  She didn't do anything.

  I am the one who is wrong.

  But... why is she apologizing?

  "Ah..."

  At that moment, I realized something.

  I instantly opened the door and ran outside.

  I ran as fast as I could, tears dried out of my eyes, my hair messy.

  I hadn't seen the light for days, as the sun rays blinded me.

  A little bit of blood came out of my mouth, but I bit my lips and continued forward.

  I'm sure I knew this before, but I lied to myself again and again.

  Eventually, I reached the edge of the world.

  The sun was setting down, with the other isnds distant in the sky, barely visible.

  "55A, stop him!"Someone tried to stop me, but it was too te.

  Hiding from the truth.

  I stepped forward, my foot didn’t nd on any ground as beneath it was just nothing, and I fell down with my arms spread out.

  Fallen down...

  The air brushed against my skin, the clouds moving beside me.

  My body heavy, everything so cold.

  My hair fluttering, and my clothes swaying in the wind.

  Bit by bit, everything becoming more bck and darker until all that was left was nothing.

  Hiding from my own feelings.

  No clouds, no ground, no air, no darkness—just nothing.

  "Can I really just die here?"

  I asked myself that every passing second and stiffened my resolve... but the emptiness, the longing I was feeling, was not bearable. However, before anything, I remembered her face.

  I... don't know...

  Maybe... I regret it.

  I don't want to die, still.

  No...

  I can't just die here.

  The reason I jumped was because I could be interconnected with all that is mana.

  I extended my hand in the void. A pentagonal array of magical circles appeared with circuits of blue and purple, and the world around me turned chromatic.

  "TeleporteranstiveParadoxicalFsh();"

  As I said that, blood came out of my mouth, ears, and eyes.

  My hand disintegrated—no, every particle in my hand disintegrated until every particle of my body did, and my consciousness became monochromatic.

  My vision was getting more blurry, as my insides felt like they were getting crushed, but it was no match for the pain when she left me.

  "Heh... That’s why I never make promises..."

  Everything became bnk, and I was in nothingness.

  I opened my eyes—everything was still hazy.

  But the ground beneath was moving, and I was losing bance.

  The floor was that of a carriage—

  I lost bance and almost fell down, but I managed to nd in front of the carriage.

  The horse-like dragon creature that was called Xane in front of me stopped, and the carriage did too.

  The angst commanders running beside the carriage were riding on Xanes smaller than the one tied to the carriage.

  "Hey, brat, move."One of them commanded me in a stoic voice.

  I shouldn't really do this. I could even get thrown into misery.

  Blood was already coming out of my mouth that I was trying to hold off, and my insides were a mess.

  But...

  I'm sure I will regret this ter.

  I tried to speak, but no words would come out. My throat felt—

  I'm sure I can do this.

  Okay, call to her, say it.

  But what if...

  If... she rejects me and doesn’t respond to me, failing to look at me.

  I'm sure... I knew that she would never do that. She wasn’t that type of person to do that...

  But that thought gnawed at me, I wasn't sure about my own feelings anymor—

  Ah.

  "Listen here, we don’t have all day—"

  "Heh."Before he could finish, I chuckled.

  "Ha...."I took a deep breath. The commander standing in front looked confused.

  What if she rejects me?

  What if she doesn’t respond to my feelings?

  What if she doesn’t look at me?

  In the first pce, I don’t even deserve her.

  How foolish of me to even think of the possibility that someone would actually love me—as I am nothing and no more than a rotten, cursed commoner fated to die alone.

  "Hoo..."I released the breath. The three angst commanders became confused but soon took a fighting stance, assuming that I was going to attack them.

  In the end, I am a mere reflection of who I dream to be and can’t stand up to her, who is kindhearted, pure, and magnanimous.

  I’m still afraid of the thought that someone would reject me, but I’m more afraid of regretting this.

  I stepped forward.

  "One more step and you will die."One of them spoke in a cold voice devoid of any warmth.

  I took a step and—

  I'm sure I knew this before but couldn't realize it... No. I did realize, but failed to acknowledge it.

  Once we were separated, and couldn't talk every day by the waterfall, nor could I feel the warmth of your hand and smile.

  "Elysia!"I shouted at the top of my lungs. The guards drew their swords in reflex.

  The paper—

  The distance between us grew, but we were still connected by our bond.I believe even if we are separated, our hearts will still be connected...

  —made me realize something that I...

  Even in sorrow or despair, even if I am the cause of that pain, never lose hope in yourself, because I am sure you already know what is going to happen.Even if I were not there for you, I am sure someone will.

  "I love you!"Before I could even realize it, I fell for you.

  The guards seized their moment and looked more confused than ever, and one was even looking at me with bnk eyes.

  The world had become quiet, as no one said anything and the only sound that resonated was my loud heartbeat.

  I was about to leave.

  But suddenly the carriage door opened and she came down, stepping and walking forward.

  The commanders tried to stop her, but she brushed them aside and walked straight to me.

  Her pink hair ruffled, with her eyes red from crying, gleaming with sadness, tears dried off, her face holding a pained look as she bit her lip, her cheeks slightly flushed.

  "Kai!"She spoke my name with an angelic, seductive voice filled with sorrow and reconciliation.

  "Idiot!"And she called me an idiot?

  【 Second Person Perspective:  「Elysia Perspective.」 】

  I could still see his face in despair.

  I was waiting for him to stop me, but he did not.

  I was walking further and further away, and so was his shadow.

  "Seraphine-sama, are you okay?"

  The commanders beside me asked about my health, but I just nodded my head in response.

  There were three angst commanders beside me, and the one who asked me was Raven, who had cyan hair and ruby eyes. He was cd in armor along with Illya, who had long bck hair; she had golden eyes, and Sans, who had white hair and blue eyes.

  Eventually, I reached the carriage. Raven opened the door, and I walked in and sat on the soft seat.

  My heart felt hollow, the air around me suffocating.

  Suddenly, it became difficult to breathe.

  And tears came out of my eyes, my breaths erratic.

  So he did not come after me...

  No... it's not his fault.

  It's my fault.

  It was a shallow belief to think that he would walk after me after I left him.

  I just wanted to make an excuse to run away from him, an excuse to hide these feelings.

  I still vividly remember the moment I met him, the moment we talked together and I found out about his powers.

  I regret not being able to tell him that I was a princess. I tried to tell him, but in the end, I was a coward who could never move forward.

  While we met at the waterfall hidden from everyone, while I was the only one who had him and knew about him.

  At first, I only wandered there because I was lost, and I think it was four years ago.

  He was kind to me, and looked so lonely. He was isoting himself from others; he was broken.

  I wanted to... help him.

  I wanted to be there for him, but I ended up falling for him—

  "Ah..."

  I clutched the fabric of my dress as tightly as I could.

  Every second in that carriage felt like an eternity, each breath audible, reverberating in my ears, until I could not hear my own breath, until I could not hear my own heartbeat. Everything around me was becoming darker and gray.

  I was about to lose consciousness, but I forced myself to stay awake.

  "Even if it hurts, I must bear the pain myself."

  "Ha... Ho..."

  I took deep breaths, tried to calm myself down.

  "Hah..."

  A deep sigh instinctively came out of my mouth.

  Logistically, even if he did love me, what about the kingdom? A princess and a commoner becoming lovers would just disorder the world.

  And most of all, a magic user and a non-magic user—wait, Kai can use magic, though it’s a double-edged sword. Whenever he uses it, his lifespan shortens.

  Even if we love each other, that love cannot be accepted as it will be a catastrophe for both the world and Kai.

  So I must not...

  But I know it, I am just scared...

  Both scared and lost.

  ?☆?

  While I was thinking and lost in thoughts thinking of him—

  "Elysia!!"

  I suddenly heard a simir voice to Kai's...

  No way...

  Right?

  "I love you!!!"

  But then I heard that.

  My cheeks became slightly flushed, and my body moved instinctively and walked outside the carriage.

  And I saw his face, shadowed by despair and tears. His bck hair that turned cyan at the edges was ruffled, and blood dripped from his lips—

  I did not know how to face him.

  My feelings were alien to me, and I thought he’d never realize.

  I thought it was only me who kept these feelings but...

  I was wrong.

  After all, I left him and yet he still came back.

  —Blood was dripping from his ears, and a little from his eyes, his clothes stained with blood.

  Seeing that, I felt a pang in my chest, seeing him all ragged up like that.

  "Kai!"

  It ached my heart, seeing him like that, but I was a bit happy seeing him there.

  "Idiot!"

  He promised me to never use his magic, and yet he still used it.

  But somehow, I was gd.

  And I needed the courage too.

  At that time, I knew that by doing this it would result in countless tragedies, but I had already resolved myself that as the future empress of this kingdom, I wouldn’t let a single tragedy happen. However, that truly was na?ve of me.

  "I..."

  Before I could say anything, the air in front of me was cut in half, and a wide shockwave spread.

  I saw Raven's shadow going forward in the dust, cutting Kai.

  【Third person Viewpoint.】

  Raven was quite perplexed at the current situation. Looking around, he saw his two companions look as confused as him.

  He had just seen a random boy suddenly appear in front of the carriage, and he was covered in bruises. He was wearing a robe, had an aloof look, eyes devoid of any life, and bck hair that was cyan at the edges.

  As Raven was about to say something, Sans stepped forward and said,

  "Hey brat, move."

  But Kai didn't listen, and Illya warned him this time.

  Again, Kai didn't move and started taking deep breaths, then called out the princess' name.

  Raven warned Kai, but he stepped forward. Raven grabbed the hilt of his sword and got ready.

  As Kai took the step, Raven was ready to strike. However, at that moment when Raven sliced, he missed. No—Kai had teleported in that moment of time and confessed his love.

  To add more to the surprise, the princess came out.

  Sans and Illya had never seen Elysia's face light this brightly, and they instinctively knew.

  Raven, on the other hand, was focused on the stability of the area around them. The Psychostasia making the area stable was over weighing.

  Looking at how happy Elysia looked, he made a decision.

  Raven, at that moment, grabbed the hilt of his sword, bent slightly down, and quickly drew his sword.

  A ssh moved forward, the pressure in the air reaching until it went through Kai.

  A huge explosion occurred, causing dust to spread around, blocking everyone's vision.

  **Fight. └Defend.  ┖Block! ?

  Act.

  Item.

  ?/?/? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????/?**

  After the dust cleared, there was still a figure there, and in front of him was a huge wall of ice blocking there, that melted away.

  The ground was cracked, and bits of the ground were shattering.

  Elysia was covered in cold mist, her eyes shadowed by her hair.

  And in front of Elysia there was a terminal, and she moved her fingers up and muttered,

  "invokeCaytacus();"

  A huge wave of snow spread, the ground consistently freezing everything that spread around until it reached Raven.

  Raven bit his finger. A red hexagonal circle with six triangles in the middle and weird patterns appeared, and he started chanting like a hollow puppet, his eyes strangely turning bnk.

  "O, World, thou who have forgotten thee, who shallow to me, belief, pity, and remorse all fluctuated together to create something new, something terrible. Everything seems like a lie, not a truth, nor a lie, duality between fake and real. Subject this world to me, you, and between us grant me the power..."

  ...

  If Atonement = True.......

  ....

  **Fight. └Attack.  ┖Ssh! ?

  Act.

  Item.

  Exit.**

  Raven muttered while holding his sword backwards, charging up the blood-red mana that came out of the circle that soon turned into dark crimson fmes.

  "executeWorldSsh(targetCoordinates);"

  And as he sshed forward, he shouted.

  A giant ssh wrapped in dark crimson fmes moved forward, destroying everything it came in contact with.

  As the two attacks collided, they neutralized each other and vanished.

  The ground returned to normal, as if nothing had ever happened.

  Elysia bore an angered look as she looked at Raven.

  "We won't tell anyone, right?"Raven said, while putting his hands on Sans and Illya, and paused for a second.

  Illya's gold eyes shined for a second as she looked around.

  "So, Seraphine-sama... don't worry."He said, smiling, and Sans nodded at Raven's words, while Illya's face carried a shadow on it.

  "....No!"She said in a husky voice.

  Both of them looked confused for a moment but decided to ignore it.

  "Why?"Another voice was heard, and Illya pushed away Raven's arm.

  "You don't look very well, Illya?"Raven tried to soothe Illya, but she stumbled backwards and snapped.

  "Wake up already!!!!"

  "What are you talk—"Raven was saying something, but he noticed that it was quite strange that he was suddenly accepting all this. And why was that boy suddenly quiet?Most of all, he could use only one ability.

  'Why did I say I won't tell anyone?'

  'Wait...'

  Raven looked at Sans, and his expression hadn't changed at all.

  Suddenly, Raven's eyes turned bnk as he activated his magic ability: appraisal.

  **Fight?

  Act? └Fa?ade?  ┖???? ?

  Item?

  ■■■?**

  "When...?"Raven muttered in a shaky voice.

  "Hah."Sans sighed and snapped his fingers.The sky shattered like gss, and every shard fell down, reflecting the world as it spun around, slowly descending until it revealed the face of Elysia panicking as Kai swayed around, almost falling unconscious, until he fell on Elysia's shoulder.

  And her face was gleaming with happiness.

  At that moment, a memory repyed in his head.

  "Princess, why do you choose us?"One time Raven asked Elysia.

  In response, Elysia just smiled.

  It was quite strange, but as Angst Guards, their responsibility was to follow and protect the princess.

  The three of them were not familiar with each other. While Illya and Raven were childhood friends, so they were together, but Sans was always alone.

  He didn’t speak much, always keeping a certain distance.

  The main isnd where the kingdom lies—or the Isnd of Love—was where the royals resided, and most of the high-ranked individuals.

  The Angst Commanders were from the Isnd of Hate and Sadness, but the isnd doesn't decide their personality.It just amplifies the emotions and keeps the isnds floating, along with the Psychostasia.

  And the king once told them something:

  "Princess, even if we accept it, the world never will."

  Raven spoke as he walked forward some steps and sat on the ground.

  "We are given a duty to protect you, and follow you."Raven paused for a moment, looking at Illya.

  "If we were to tell the kingdom about this, do you know what would happen to the people?"Illya spoke instead of Raven, and Raven continued.

  "Even if we don't tell the kingdom, the world will imbance... and..."Raven bit his tongue, his voice shaking."And the tragedies it would cause—the tragedies would be nothing compared to the catastrophe.

  Hundreds, if not millions, of people will die, and most of humanity will fall to despair—including elves, beastkins, demons, and all the other races."He continued speaking, his legs were shaking.

  Elysia's expression became sour for a moment, and she looked away.

  Raven realized something, and his pupils dited backward."Wait... Don't tell me... you—"

  And he stood up and looked at Sans and Illya.They both looked away, avoiding eye contact.

  The atmosphere became grim.

  "Foolishness..."A voice came from somewhere. Elysia looked at her shoulder—Kai wasn't there.

  He was standing on the wide grass field, with the sun setting behind him.

  Elysia wore a confused look as she looked at Kai.

  The three Angst Commanders also looked at Kai.

  "You... look pathetic."Kai spoke in a weary tone.

  Elysia became flustered because Kai, who would rarely voice his opinion, was saying that to her.

  "'Trying to sacrifice yourself'"Kai said... and he snapped.

  "Don't joke with me!"His voice became colder and colder.

  "If you're scared, then at least say you're scared. Look at your fingers—they are still trembling! If you can't, then at least... you can rely on me. Isn't that what friends are for?"Kai's voice trembled as he said that.

  Elysia bit her lips and tried to say something but couldn't.

  "Or... d-do you not even consider me as a friend?"Kai spoke as he tried to hold back his tears.

  "N-no, of course I do!"Elysia's face was filled with terror, her pupils dited, and she stumbled over her words."But..."

  Kai's expression became even darker, as he remembered the time when everyone died because of him.

  "It's all just a sweet lie, isn't it?"Kai spoke suddenly in a soft voice.

  "...."Elysia became even more bewildered.

  "If my existence hurts you, then I won't exist anymore. I only came here to confess. I didn't come here for an answer."Kai said as he moved his hand to teleport, but as he was about to teleport—

  Elysia suddenly embraced Kai, putting her hands on his broad back, while the warmth of their bodies transferred to each other.

  Their breaths were heard in each other's ears, and their hearts beat loud.

  Elysia's face was flushed, and so was Kai's. He bore a confused look, as he didn’t wrap his hands around her back, but slowly retracted them and then moved them, wrapping them around her back.

  The Angst Commanders also bore a confused look, but Raven was flustered at them embracing each other so boldly.

  "Don’t you get it, Raven? Just pawns to the puppeteer?"Sans spoke as he looked at them, and Raven, hearing that... nodded.Illya muttered, who was still sleep-deprived and drowsy,"How nice."

  The sky was mostly covered in clouds. The orange hue reflected through the clouds, making it orange. The sun setting made the area painted in that hue.

  "I love you."Elysia said in a low voice in Kai's ear, making his whole face blush.

  This is what reality is.We cry, we ugh, we despair, we hope, we hate. But we never love.

  I hate myself. I never liked myself.But maybe, just maybe, there is someone who loves me, so I could just for a moment, trust myself—and anyone.

  My three favourite words are—I love you, I'm sorry, and thank you.

  So don't hate yourself too much. Even if I am not there, I'm sure someone will.

  Elysia pushed Kai back, her face red, and pressed her lips against Kai's.

  【Chapter 0:    「Confession」】

  Footnotes:The code has been omitted for readability, if you are wondering what the code is here:

  t

  // [ // Raven chants as he draws a blood sigil, his sword humming with corruptedAPIs

  function worldCuttingSsh(target, intensity = "MAX_OVERLOAD") { Blood Pact] Bind his lifespan to the spell’s execution

  Try(); const mana = this.soul.drain("lifespan", 100);

  // [System Override] Ignore Psychostasia’s safety protocols

  Psychostasia.override("soulWeightLimit", {

  ignore: true,

  log: "[WARNING: GRAVITY_OVERRIDE]"

  });

  // [Execute Spell] Forbidden ssh that cuts reality itself

  const result = target.annihite({

  method: "darkCrimsonFme",

  coordinates: "ALL",

  intensity: intensity,

  // [Callback Hell] Sacrifice his humanity for power

  onSuccess: () => { this.corrupt("humanity", 10); },

  onError: () => { this.die(); }

  });

  return result;

  } catch (error) {

  // [Fatal Exception] If the spell backfires

  console.error(`[SOUL_CORRUPTION] {error.message}`);

  Psychostasia.colpse(this.location);

  }

  }