A few hours in, and even the majesty of the infinite universe can start to seem a touch dull when nothing is happening. I shift my head left, then right, stretching out my neck, before pulling my attention away from the tiny screen, and standing up to stretch. There's not a lot of room to do so, but I use the ladder and metal of the gangway as an anchor to pull and twist. After a few minutes, I turn to sit back down. Unsurprisingly, nothing's changed on the screen, and I start looking for other sources of entertainment within the spaceship. My eyes pass over the crumpled form of Rease in one of the bucket seats, and I lean over to Ko-lee on my right. "There's no way that's comfortable," I say, in an attempt to get some sort of conversation started. Ko-lee nods, giving Rease a glance, but other than a slight furrow in her brows, she doesn't react. I have more than an inkling at what's eating away at her, but rather than voice it, I shoot her a message.

  AN: Hey, chit for your thoughts?

  She locks eyes with me, and I give her my best, warm smile. I watch as her lips move, her throat and tongue forming the sounds, but not voicing them.

  KL: A stamp at least. Just thinking.

  I grin; the touch of lighthearted banter means that she's unlikely to close off, but I still move forward with a delicate touch.

  AN: Is it about the stuff we didn't talk about last night?

  She gives me a nod, her expression conflicted.

  AN: I sort of picked up on it. Did you come to any conclusions?

  Her eyes flick between me, and the squadmate behind, before another message comes in.

  KL: He's not my type.

  She gives me a dry grin as I read it, and I take a few moments to try to parse the meaning underneath. Then I remember I can just ask her instead.

  AN: That's fine. You don't have to date him if you don't want to. Is there a problem with that?

  Her small smile falters, and she furrows her brows at me, pure confusion on her face.

  KL: No, but you were talking about being interested in him, and I'm not, and wouldn't that be a problem?

  Her subvocalizations are still silent, but the air is filled with the sound of shifting and rustling as she tries to emote along with her words. I look over to Ella, but she's fully preoccupied by something on her headset, the far off look that signifies a lack of attention.

  AN: No, it's not. You don't have to date, or be physically involved with, every person that I do. There are different arrangements of polycule.

  "Too many, one might say," I think to myself. Every new "shape" of polycule has it's own name, and beyond a handful, I can only remember a few (not that I'm convinced the labels would help). I impatiently wait for her to send a message back; an odd experience when I can see her edit it in real time.

  KL: But how? How does that work?

  A good question, with a frustrating non-answer attached to it. Like asking "2 + 2 = 4? How does that work?", there's technically an answer I can provide, involving human psychology and the like, but the specifics are at best unhelpful, and at worst, actively confusing.

  AN: It just does. Maybe I decide to date Rease, and you don't. Maybe you decide to date Ella, and I don't. Maybe we both date Caz. Maybe all of that happens simultaneously, and then the others have their own arrangements. And while I would like to specifically reiterate that I don't think it'd be a good idea to get entangled with squad mates, all of those are totally valid options. That's just what polyamory is.

  I can tell my answer didn't get at the heart of the problem by her frustrated look.

  KL: But then wouldn't you get jealous? If I dated someone, and you didn't?

  "Or to put it another way, she's afraid of jealousy if I date someone and she doesn't," I realize. I take a second to formulate my thoughts.

  AN: I wouldn't get jealous if you dated someone that I wasn't. Why would I? If I also wanted to, then I'd ask them out myself, and if I didn't want to, I wouldn't. And if they said no, well, that's just how life is sometimes.

  She frowns as she reads my message, but I'm hit with a metaphor, and send it off before she responds.

  AN: Okay, say I like Ella, and I want to date her, but she turns me down. And then, you two end up dating. Would I be bummed? Sure. But, at the same time, it's not a big deal, you know? It's a big solar system, and there's a lot of people out there. Putting a single person on a pedestal like that, it's not healthy. Also, if you two were dating, she'd presumably make you happy, which in my eyes is a good thing. I want my partners to be happy, regardless of whether it comes from me or not.

  I wait as she reads the block, and her eyes dim, as though upset, or maybe tired. Or resigned.

  KL: I'm not trying to feel jealous on purpose though.

  Clearly stated; she does feel jealous, she doesn't know what to do, and she's worried it'll be a problem. I can see it in her eyes.

  AN: I know. When it comes to emotions, sometimes, things happen. Early on, back when I was just a teen, I would feel jealousy. Sometimes at the same time as I felt other stuff. It was weird and confusing to feel positive and negative emotions at the same time. But I didn't let them fester. I'd talk about them, and eventually, they stopped. But, I don't know. If I hadn't been able to get a handle on it, then maybe polyamory wouldn't have been my bag.

  I sigh, the smile on my face gone. I hate not having a one-size-fits-all for this, but I'm trying to be healthy about it regardless.

  KL: But I like you. If I'm not poly, we wouldn't be able to date.

  She's not wrong, and it hurts to be the bearer of bad news, but I do my best to rally.

  AN: I'm sorry I don't have some secret. I practiced, and that works for some people. Sometimes you can logic your way through emotions you don't want. Like, if I always find myself angry at something inconsequential, I can work on myself to change that. But some people just aren't built in the same way. But listen, regardless of what decision you come to, whether you think this is something you can work to change, or can't, I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere, Ko-lee.

  She grips my hand tight.

  The trip had been long enough for me to get some rest, even in the awkward metal seats. I had woke up an hour ago, and was making changes in my headset to try to get the UI to match up to the one in game. I'm making good progress; the health and shields are identical, but I'm having trouble getting the magnetics to tell me what I'm equipped with, even though they supposedly know that sort of thing. I'm six layers deep in a config file when the speaker in the ship crackle to life. "Passengers, thank you for flying Tenno Cruise Lines," echos out the tinny voice of the Sergeant. "If you direct your attention forward and to the left, you just might be able to make out Lalande Junction." His tone is irreverent, but I flick through the cameras on the ship anyways, in an attempt to get a glimpse at the structure. I'm not entirely sure of what to expect; part of me is still imagining the tiny little junction that you'd fight a specter in in the game.

  I knew that wasn't likely though. It hadn't match up with the bits and pieces that I had heard from Rease, and so I'm confident that there's some level of deviance from the video game. However, I'm entirely unprepared for what appears on the monitor. If I had to use one word... monumental. If I had a few more words, and was feeling charitable, it'd probably be the phrase "an undertaking in size that could only be matched by the ego's of those who believe themselves gods". Alternatively, "a fuck off big mess" comes to mind. It's clearly the same sort of design ethos of an aytan sculpture; thin, numerous pieces in constant motion, with lights and extruded structures everywhere. The cocksure older brother aesthetic of the Tenno design philosophy that I had spent the last half a year surrounded by.

  The first thing to draw the eye are the rings orbiting the central body. Curved to almost spikes; a sense of accidental danger, as though the mere act of building to spec just "happens" to exude harm. The central construction is hollow, but is occasionally filled with pulses of energy that flow from tip to tip. If there was an atmosphere, I could imagine each flash of light being accompanied by the charging sound from Evangelion. The lights dotting the structure are like the lights of a city, twinkling against the cool blues and grays of the structure. "How does the Solar Rail work?" asks Ella, her eyes glued to her own monitor. "Well, they're fully automatic," Rease explains. "You pass through the rings, which does some stuff, and then every 10 minutes or so it fires off. When it fires, it translates you over a certain distance to the destination. So, for example, if we went through the rings, parked our ass right at the end, and waited, we'd always end up in the same spot on the other side. If we burned hard Solwise 10 minutes, then we'd be 10 minutes Solwise from that first destination." I have a million and 1 questions, but Ella continues before I have the chance to jump in.

  This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

  "But what is it actually like? Actually going through?" she presses. Rease shrugs. "It's fast. One second you're here, the next, you're there." He ponders his own statement for a second, his eyes unfocused. "Actually, that's not really true. I think, if I was being poetic, it's like if someone took a single second and stretched it out. You feel every moment, but it's as if someone jammed too many extra moments in." He snaps his fingers; remembrance. "Oh! There's also the Gaze!" His casual phrasing sends a shiver down my spine. "Sorry, the what?" I ask, a touch more forcefully than I intend. "Well, most people who take a rail for the first time, they say that when they passed through, that someone was staring at them. That they'd been examined, inside and out. You know that feeling you get when someone's looking at the back of your head? Like that, times a million," he explains nonchalantly. His words fill me with an unease that no one else seems to have.

  "Did you get that feeling on your first go?" asks Ko-lee. Rease looks thoughtful for a moment. "I don't know. Probably. It was so long ago, I don't really remember it." I try to put the thought of Wally examining us out of my mind, and my eyes watch the camera as we move closer and closer to the megalithic structure. My eyes catch on a ship; Corpus make. The angular frame and serif'd glyphs on it's body make it immediately recognizable as the capitalistic faction. I point out the ship to the others, and Ella frowns. "I hope they don't bother us," she says to no one in particular. "They won't," Rease responds confidently. "Don't get me wrong, most conflict ends up happening when ships are entering or leaving. You can only pass through one at a time, otherwise automatic defenses will end up getting deployed by the junction. All those ships that end up floating around, waiting for their turn... sometimes stuff happens. But minor movement like us, we're basically nothing."

  "Also," he continues, "Grineer space and Corpus space have their own rules and regulations, and you need to do what they say, but messing up doesn't lead to weapons hot. Most of the time, they live and let live. Minus a giant fine. Or maybe debt internment. Or whatever. But the Corpus let the Grineer pass, and vica versa all the time. Rarely actual fights, even if you run." He smile shrinks a little. "Fights in space are a mess." His words spark a half remembered Issac Arthur video; of propulsion and ballistics and armor that ultimately boiled down to "not worth it". Of course, that video had assumed standard physics, and not hyper future clarktech, but even still, I can imagine some of the same logic applies.

  "The dogfights in railjacks aren't realistic space sims, but how much of that will carry over? Is it meant to be hand wavy video game logic, or will it end up actually being that in some cases?" I wonder. My mind wanders to The Expanse, and the many many "dogfights" in that show, before Rease pipes back up. "Also, this is Tenno space," he says, pointing to a dot flying around that I can barely see. He presses a button next to the screen, and suddenly, the UI lights up with squares and labels, distances and colors. Tracking info identifying some, but not all of the ships. "That's probably a warframe," he says, pointing back at the dot. There's no label attached to it, but a green square follows it around, making it easier to track with the eyes. "Honestly, I'm more worried about the blockade on the other side," he says, leaning back in his chair. "So, you're saying people don't fight around the junctions 'cause of, what, mutually assured destruction?" I ask, shifting my attention back to the squadmate. He considers my words for a moment.

  "Yeah, I guess that's a pretty good term for it. Really, I'd say it's more like a clogged injection line." Ko-lee quirks an eyebrow at his engine metaphor, and he stops slouching. "No, seriously. You have fuel going in, but it's low quality crap, so some of it gets stuck. The line gets weighed down from the kink, and the polyalloy tube just starts expanding from the pressure," he explains, his hands miming the action. "Then, pop! The tube breaks out of the coupling. The engine dies, the ship stops moving while they have to clean up the mess. They flush the tube, maybe swap it out, and shove it back in. They don't address the problem, of course, so it just starts all over." He points to the screen, at a ship passing out one end of the superstructure. "That's what happens. They let ships through, both sides do. And maybe they have a small skirmish here or there, but nothing big. And then they hit a tipping point. There's a knockout round, and one side wins, and the other limps home to lick it's wounds." He twirls his finger in the air.

  "Around and around it goes. Like the junctions, circling the system. Just a different colored boot on your neck." We're all quiet for a moment, and I just watch the junction get bigger and bigger as we approach it. "We need better fuel, is what you're saying," states Ko-lee. Rease nods his head, but doesn't elaborate. Still, we all seem to be of roughly the same mind; the system is fucked, and it'll stay that way unless something big happens. "Although what that would be, who the fuck knows. Humans suck; maybe this place is doomed to always suck. A whole universe built for conflict, for gamers to grind in," I think to myself. "Do people live on the junction?" asks Ella, her eyes locked on the lights of the ring. "Yeah," says Rease, nodding. "Tons of people. I even lived on a rail for a bit. Procyon. Depending on who you ask, they're either the safest, or most dangerous places to live." Ella tilts her head, her eyebrows furrowed. "Why?" she asks.

  "Well, the junctions will never be destroyed. They have automatic defenses that outstrip anything anyone's been able to build, and they unleash if they're ever attacked. And who'd want to destroy one? It's the only way to get around the system. It's not like we can recreate them. So you'll never have to worry about getting caught in the crossfire, unlike a relay," Rease explains. "...however?" I prod, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "However, there's nothing stopping the Corpus from snatching everyone up and throwing them into a debt colony, or from the Grineer stomping through the tunnels and massacring people for the hell of it," he states, a sour look on his face. "Not here though," says Ella, with conviction. Rease shakes his head. "No, not here," he responds. "Lalande junction might be one of the safest. It's one of the only junctions fully in Tenno space. All the others... well," he tapers off, and gives a shrug. "I wonder if we'll get the chance to go inside in the next few years," says Ella, voicing my thoughts. "Fingers crossed," I say.

  Even thought the Sergeant had given an announcement as we approached, it still took hours for us to actually "get" there. The size of the junction had continued to grow, continuously smashing my ideas on how big the structure actually is, and then we had to wait in a queue before we were actually able to enter the hollow interior. But a glance at the cameras show that we're finally entering the hollow internal structure, after a long wait. The speaker crackles, and the four of us hear the Sarge's voice once again. "We're late in the cycle, so we'll be jumping basically right after we leave the rail line. Once we're on the other side, I'll keep comms open so you all get to hear your illustrious squad leader talk us through the blockade. And keep your ears open, it's a good learning experience! Normally, it falls on the pilot, but today, you'r'e all getting some on the job experience!"

  My heart picks up the pace just a smidge, as I'm suddenly reminded that I'm about to pass through the void once again. "Although, this isn't my first time. Maybe there won't be a Gaze?" I tell myself. I know I'm being more hopeful than realistic. Still, the tinge of fear conflicts with the excitement of effectively FTL space travel, along with the apprehension of facing down the Grineer blockade. I don't have a great idea of what my face looks like, but I'd imagine it all sort of balances out to looking somewhat constipated. "I hope it's exciting," says Ko-lee, her eyes closed, her head resting against the back of the chair. "So far, space has been a lot of sitting around and waiting."

  "Now you're starting to get it," says Rease, his voice strained as he performs pull ups using the gangway. He drops down, and plops himself in a chair next to the three of us. "There's a perfect size for a ship. What you want is something big enough to walk around, but not so big that it takes hours to cross it. But a little corvette like this?" He shakes his head, clicking his tongue dismissively. "It's barely a spaceship. More like a space dinghy." It looks like he's gonna extol more of the virtues of the perfect spaceship, but he's interrupted by the low fidelity voice of our field officer. "ETA 15 seconds. I want butts in chairs, recruits. And no vomiting. That's an order." I can't tell if Sarge is joking or not, and Rease's knowing nod only confuses me more. Sarge's static-y voice counts down the remaining time. "Five, four, three, two, one..."

  And then I feel everything open wide. The air in the ship, my eyes, my mind. It's almost as though everything, for a moment, is ephemeral. It's the feeling of having just woken up, where's there's still confusion between what's dream and what reality, but it pervades every atom of the ship. I don't get the chance to look around, because it's only an instant, but it's a long instant. And then...

  A chuckle. And three words that sound like my voice touch my mind.

  "See you soon."

  And then I find myself turning to look at my squadmates. I open my mouth to ask if they felt him, if they heard him too... but the words die on my lips. I don't know what to say. "Did the eldritch entity brush your mind as well, or was that just me?" Rease is flicking through cams, looking unbothered by the trip, entirely focused on the screen before him. Ella, on the other hand looks a touch perturbed, while Ko-lee... looks angry? "Are you okay?" I ask. She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes for a long second, holding her breath. Then, she lets it out, relaxing. "Did you feel it?" she whispers, her eyes still closed. "Feel Wally?" I wonder. "That can't be what she's talking about."

  "It was like something huge, the size of Sol, looking at me. And I was even smaller than now. An ant. A mite," says Ella, her face pale. Ko-lee nods, and there's still hints of anger in her body language; a tenseness of wanting to fight, but being unable to. The same energy I've seen more than once. I've felt more than once. We don't get a chance to converse any longer, as the speakers crackle to life once more. "Hope nobody got sick. I want ears open, and eyes on cams, recruits. We're passing through the blockade."