Chapter 142

  Shock and Awe (II)

  Was Long Tao a good cook?

  No.

  Did any of us dare point it out?

  Actually, yeah, pretty much everyone except for me.

  "Wow, Senior Brother, this piece of lettuce is somehow sharper than your sword," commented Xi Zhao.

  "Chewing raw grass is tastier!" added Dai Xiu.

  "It's stupid," said Light in all her wisdom.

  "It's... edible," said Wan Lan, though it would have been better had she not said anything.

  Meanwhile, I actually felt kind of bad for the old monster. He was perched at the praying mat, his lips trembling, eyes full of indignation--though whether it was toward the comments or his own failure as a cook, I didn't know.

  I mean, it wasn't awful--just your average, student-in-college-learning-how-to-cook bad. The first time I tried making something that wasn't a PBJ or eggs or fried sausages, I nearly gave myself food poisoning. I couldn't even cook chicken and rice until, like, four months in, and though the internet was still in its infancy back then, there was still a slew of info on cooking readily accessible anywhere.

  We didn't even have a cookbook!

  Though, this does mean that Long Tao has not cooked once in his life, which is, well, kind of amazing, considering he's at least thousands of years old. Can you imagine? Living for thousands of years and never having to cook? Because he probably always had someone else to do it for him.

  Oh, to be the prince.

  Though they teased him, they all did finish the meal, in fairness. Not in silence, however. The big topic of discussion: Wan Lan's breakthrough, naturally.

  "What did it feel like, Junior Sister?" The seniority remained unchanged--they ordered themselves by, well, the order in which I took them in. All save for Light, who they all called 'Junior,' and she called everyone 'Old'. No, seriously, she even called Dai Xiu old and made the 12-year-old girl cry a few times because of it.

  "It was... you know that feeling when you're really hungry?" she asked back.

  "And Senior Brother Tao fails to make a meal to fill me up?" Not wanting to miss a chance, Dai Xiu took a shot at poor Long Tao, who was now pretending to meditate in the corner.

  "No, no, when you're really hungry, like you hadn't eaten for days?"

  "Oh. Yes," she nodded, perking up.

  "Well, it's sort of like that, but, at the same time, there's all the food in the world that you need right in front of you. You just have to... figure out how to reach it. It started small, as Qi pooled around me, but it stopped there. There's this distance that it keeps from you, and you have to figure out a way to reach out and grab it. The more of it you can grab and the faster, the smoother the breakthrough. I wouldn't worry about it; with your talent, Qi will probably just waltz in you and form the palace."

  This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

  "Haah, I wish," Dai Xiu said. "But it's unfair! I was supposed to be next, after Senior Brother Tao!"

  "Hm? Next what?" Wan Lan asked, tilting her head.

  "The next to break through into Foundation Establishment," the young girl pouted, pressing her chin into the table. "Now I'll be third!"

  "... what, what do you mean?" Wan Lao stammered, her eyes darting back and forth between the 'meditating' Long Tao and Dai Xiu. "S-Senior Brother Tao is... is in the Foundation Establishment Realm?"

  "Hm? Yes? He broke through a loooooong time ago," Dai Xiu said. I could practically see Wan Lan's world view collapse in real time. Honestly, it would make for a great photo finish... if I had a freakin' camera with me! "And I always thought I'd be next. Haah. Master! It's unfair! Can't you give me some super treasure that helps me break through immediately?"

  "Patience, Xiu'er," I said, smiling. "There are no shortcuts when cultivating. It is like building a foundation of the house--every part has to be perfect; otherwise, a slightly stronger wind will crush it."

  "... yes, Dai Xiu obeys," but whether she 'obeyed' inwardly, though, was a different question.

  I turned over to Wan Lan, who looked like someone snapped her soul in half. She'd stealthily glance at Long Tao, seemingly fearful of angering him accidentally.

  I also realized something--none of the kids revealed their actual cultivation to her, not once. They'd all been acting as though they were in the early stages, and since there was no need to undo it, they never bothered to.

  "Guys," I said. "Your Junior Sister Wan'er still isn't aware of your real cultivation." Even when they were cultivating, since they were still using the concealment art Long Tao taught them, their actual realms still weren't discernible.

  "Oh! Right!" Dai Xiu exclaimed, being the first to undo it, revealing ninth--nope, tenth stage. She must have broken through in the past few days since I last checked out her status window...

  Haah. These kids will be the end of me.

  "Aah! Senior Sister, you broke through?!" Xi Zhao cried out, revealing a ninth stage. He'd also broken through but always kept lagging behind Dai Xiu by at least one stage.

  "He he," she snickered smugly, rubbing her nose. "You have to work harder, Junior Brother, or I'll leave you in the dust!"

  Wan Lan looked just about ready to scream and pass out, all out of sheer terror.

  "T-t-tenth, ni-ninth..." she stuttered out their realms as her eyes turned toward Light.

  What was Light's actual realm? Well, it was actually difficult to say. Technically, she was still in Qi Condensation. In a fight, however, she was able to push herself probably into the Spirit Manifestation Realm--perks of being an Inheritor and all. The drawbacks, however, were just as severe as the boons were nice--she could only sustain the enhanced realm briefly, and her actual cultivation speed was quite a bit slower than even Xi Zhao's.

  Nonetheless, Light did exactly what I expected her to do--she briefly enhanced her cultivation into the Spirit Manifestation Realm, and just as the whites of Wan Lan's eyes became dominant and the young woman started to fall headfirst into the table, and just as I just barely managed to catch her, the little girl broke out into a strange cackle.

  "Eh?" Dai Xiu exclaimed. "Is Junior Sister Lan alright?"

  "Yes, she's fine," I said, sighing, gently planting her head on the table. "She's just very impressed with your progress, is all."

  "So... does that mean that you aren't?" She suddenly turned rather... weepy. "Master, is, is Dai Xiu disappointing you?"

  "..." Dammit, not this again! She had been calm for so long that I thought she might have even grown up a bit... "No, not at all," I quickly said. "It's just that different people have different ways of expressing themselves. Do you know what I do when I'm impressed by you?"

  "W-what?"

  "I tell you," I said, reaching out and gently patting the top of her head. "Good job, Xiu'er. You've made me really proud."

  And, just like that, the weep was turned into a smile.

  Haah.

  I had to admit, she was rather adorable; she damn well better be, considering how much of a headache she is.

  ... I did not just think that, Jesus Christ! What the hell's the matter with me?!

  Ugh, don't ask that. Never ask that...