Chapter 184

  The Unspoken Hurt (II)

  Rayce ran through the steep slide and through the thick garden of trees, his forehead glistening with sweat. It was as though there were ghosts chasing him, as he never seemed to slow down until he finally reached the split in the 'path', taking a sharp right for about half a mile and coming upon a maw in the mountain.

  It was rather inconspicuous--no different than any other maw that led to a cave--yet he could recognize it through the invisible specks of mana littering the outer edge of the rocks.

  The darkness swallowed him, yet he confidently continued to walk, navigating the winding tunnels with pinpoint precision until he emerged into a wide and open chamber.

  There, seated against the stone, was Iryan.

  She appeared distracted and deep in thought but quickly came to as she heard his footsteps.

  "Something terrible's happened!" he exclaimed.

  "What is it? Are you hurt?" She shot to her feet, walking over and grabbing his hand.

  "No, not me! Up in the Castle! I heard... I heard that seven were killed last night!"

  "Seven?!" she exclaimed in shock.

  "Yes! It must be that damned bloodsucker... but, but he never killed so many so quickly. What is he planning?!"

  "Did you see anything suspicious up there?"

  "Suspicious? What do you mean suspicious?"

  "Never mind," she shook her head and sighed. "It's unsafe to go up anymore. You should probably stay here from now on until that monster either calms down or leaves."

  "No, no, I can't!" Rayce exclaimed. "I have to go help them!"

  "Help them?"

  "They're just ordinary people, Iryan! They have no idea what they're up against!"

  "And how will your explaining to them what they're 'up against' help?"

  "--I don't know," he admitted, unwillingly, after a brief pause. "But I know I can't just hide here while they all become food for that monster. I didn't escape the clan to hide forever, Iryan, not when I can help."

  "And what if the bloodsucker discovers you and kills you?" she asked, seeming a bit angered. "Do you think he's like the rest of those morons that have come after you? That you can defeat him if you just get a bit lucky?!"

  "N-no," he stumbled back, feeling a bit overwhelmed. "Of course not. I know I'm no match for him... but there's a chance!"

  "A chance?"

  "Hm! I saw a cultivator in the castle! If I explain to him what's happening--"

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  "--hah!" she interrupted rather quickly. "A cultivator?! You want to ask a cultivator for help? You truly have gone mad! May as well just walk up to the bloodsucker himself and ask him to kindly stop what he's doing! Do you not remember any of the teachings from the clan? Just because they've wronged y--us doesn't mean some of what they were saying isn't true! Cultivators are monsters, Rayce. They are monsters wearing human skin. That man would sooner behead you for simply speaking to him than help you.

  "And, if for some unholy reason he does decide to help you, what if he's not strong enough, either? You should just listen to me--we need to hide!"

  "..." he thought for a moment, but it was pointless. In his heart, he'd already decided that he'd either help or die trying. Rather, that was why he was training so hard for--to be able to defeat the bloodsucker and prove to the entire clan that they were wrong. Both about him and especially Iryan.

  "No," he said, turning around to leave. "I have to help them, Iryan. But you should--" he felt a flash of pain at the back of his head before the darkness suddenly swallowed him whole, the last vestiges of his consciousness catching the fading words of a cold voice.

  "Tsk, idiot. Will you not stop until you ruin everything? And you, shut the hell up. You've been pissing me off even more than you usually do..."

  **

  "Are... are you angry?"

  She asked in a way that only the kid feeling the guilt of the world could. And, just like the kids do, I suddenly felt all that guilt transferred over onto me.

  --wait, no!

  Don't get pulled into the whirlpool of being manipulated by a kid!

  Honestly, I've been walking on pins and needles when it comes to all the kids with me--don't protags in stories usually become mass murderers before they even leave their hometown?

  And... well, they already kind of are, right? Even as far back as us visiting Xi Zhao's hometown, where they engaged in some very bloody workouts, it wasn't as though their hands were clean.

  But, there was a 'justification'--I mean, yes, you can always make a justification and find some reason as to why your actions make total sense, but a line must exist somewhere, however.

  "No," I spoke rather calmly, not raising my voice at all. "I'm not angry. Can you tell me why you did it?"

  "... they... they were making fun... of..." Her voice faded towards the end.

  "They were making fun of you?"

  "No, they were making fun of you!"

  ... ugh, goddammit. There's that guilt. Ooh, holy shit. Why does it feel like heartburn?

  "Oh," I softly exclaimed as she looked up, the look in her eyes rather... defiant. Of course, it all fell apart because she was just about ready to cry, but still. "Alright. So, they were making fun of me. It made you angry?"

  "Hm! It made me really angry!"

  "Why?"

  "W-why?"

  "Yes. Why?"

  "..." She looked away rapidly, and all I could do was sigh.

  Yeah.

  I mean, I kind of noticed the trend, as it were, but I didn't think it was this proliferated.

  But... enough's enough.

  "Okay, you three, stop eavesdropping and come here," I called out as three silhouettes emerged from behind the wall, their faces, too, guilt-addled. "Sit," they did, shuffling in place awkwardly for a moment. "Words are just sounds. The only reason they have any meaning is simply because we give them that meaning. The same way that the only way they can have any effect on us is if we let them.

  "Look at me--I do not care what others say about me. I don't care what they say to my face, what they say behind my back, or what they shout at the sky when I best them at something or simply because they need to shout something. I don't want you to forge stray karmic ties with random strangers just because they spoke of me in jest. You are all very precious to me," I added, the tone of my voice turning slightly gentler as I put on a faint smile. "And there are no lengths I wouldn't go to for you. But I'm your Master, and that's my duty.

  "Your duty, as Disciples, is to listen to me. So, please, listen: do not harm others so easily. Life is precious, as to you, so to everyone else. We all struggle against the currents, and we all sometimes say things that don't necessarily define us. It's fine. Let them make fun of me. When you come back, we can sit down and make fun of them, too. I know you feel it's your sacred duty to protect me, but, despite everything, your Master can protect himself. And in the event that I can't, I'll die ensuring that nothing happens to you, at least. Because that is my devotion. Yours should only be to grow up into splendid people who can see the world beyond the tip of the weapon."