Josh knew she was the one for him the moment he id eyes on her. She had long, blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a lovely little outfit that put her rge breasts on full dispy. Josh was a boob guy through and through and this beautiful woman walking towards him had the best breasts he’d ever seen. At least, the best he’d seen on a woman that was coming to talk to him. Josh knew they had to be DD cups at least. Maybe even DDD. Or DDDD! For a brief moment Josh wondered when the letters stopped adding D’s to the size and switched to E, F, G, and beyond. Thankfully, this worthless line of thought was interrupted by the bodacious beauty standing in front of him. “Hi,” she said. Josh loved her smooth and sultry voice. “I’m picking up an order for Lauren. Lauren J.” What a wonderful name: Lauren. Josh imagined himself introducing his new girlfriend to all the friends he would attract with a stunning figure by his side. “Hey guys, check out what Lauren just sent me.” “Yeah, Lauren and I went out on the boat this past weekend. I caught the biggest bass you’ve ever seen.” “Lauren is a complete freak in bed. I mean, you see how she funts herself even when we’re in public. Don’t get any ideas though; she’s all mine.” Josh snapped himself out of the fantasy. He needed to secure the deal first. “Hey there, my name’s Josh. It’s short for Joshua, but I think Josh is cooler; it keeps the conversation moving, you know?” “Um, cool. Is my pizza ready?” “Let me check.” Josh turned to the computer. “How do you spell your first name?” The system pulled up the result immediately after Josh typed the name in, but Josh knew Lauren wasn’t able to see his screen. This was the perfect opportunity to stretch out the interaction. Get her into a conversation so she doesn’t walk out on the best guy she’ll ever meet. “You know,” he said, “I only ask because I know there’s this actor who spells his name L-O-R-E-N but it sounds the same as your name.”“Is that so? Weird.” She wasn’t invested yet. Josh needed to kick things up a notch. “Yeah. It’s so cool how people can spell names in all sorts of ways. Of course, he’s a guy and you’re definitely a woman. Maybe he spells it the guy way.” “I never thought about a guy version of my name before. I’m just named after my grandmother.” Perfect! She was starting to open up. “That’s so cool,” Josh said, “My parents named me after Joshua; the guy from the Bible. They weren’t really Christian, but I guess they could tell I was a leader from the moment I was born. Most nights, I’m the only one working. It’s kind of bullshit really. I should be getting paid more, but I’m just gd to do good work, you know?” “For sure.” Lauren reached into her purse and looked at her phone. “So, my pizza?” she asked. Josh replied, “You got an extra-rge, half mushroom, half extra cheese, right? Pretty big pizza for a little dy like you. Going to a party or something? Maybe a girl’s night?” Josh hoped it was a party. He hadn’t been invited to a party since freshman year of college. Well, technically he hadn’t been invited to any of those either, but it’s not like they ever turned him away. “Nope,” Lauren said, “just picking up some dinner. Probably going to watch Netflix or whatever.” This was great. Staying in on a Friday night meant she was frugal, and her tiny waist meant she paid attention to what she ate. Maybe she liked going to the gym. That would be amazing. They could wear cute matching outfits and be the cool gym couple that makes everyone jealous. Josh said, “My shift actually ends in about an hour, but I could totally close up early and help you finish that pizza.” Lauren giggled. It was a delightful sound. “Oh, no, that’s okay,” she said, “I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble with your boss or anything.” She was so thoughtful and caring. She was willing to sacrifice her chance with Josh to make sure he would be okay. This really was the perfect woman. “It won’t be a problem at all. You’re the only order we’ve received in the st hour. The manager barely shows up, and I’m the only one here tonight. It’ll take me ten minutes to close up, I’ll snag an extra pizza, and we can hang out and watch Netflix together.” Lauren began fiddling with her hair and giggling again. Josh knew that women pyed with their hair when they were starting to be interested in a guy. It was time to clinch the deal. “I’ve got it all pnned out. We’re the only pce still open this te at night, so nobody will see me leaving early. The cameras in here are all fake just to make people think twice about trying to rob the store. My pce is only twenty minutes away, and I’ve got this huge ft-screen I found on the side of the road a year ago. I can even give you a ride so you won’t get lost and then I’ll drive you back to your car after the movie. Simple.” Lauren started saying something about problems and concerns, but Josh knew his pn was solid. He just needed to let her talk it out for herself until she realized there was nothing stopping them from having a great time tonight. Free pizzas, a movie, and maybe some activities ter. As Lauren continued bbbing, Josh’s gaze shifted from Lauren’s eyes to her lips and then to the valley of cleavage she presented to him. Josh thought to himself, “Definitely some activities ter.” The door opened and jolted Josh out of yet another fantasy. The new patron was some over-muscled dude with a pissed-off look on his face. He was going to totally screw up Josh’s pn to get out of here as soon as possible. “What the hell is taking so long?” The guy asked. Josh noticed Lauren look over her shoulder nervously. This guy was probably making her uncomfortable. “Don’t worry,” Josh thought to himself, “I’ll keep you safe.” “Hey dude,” Josh said, “The dy was first in line, and we’re having a nice little chat. Either wait your turn or go get your pizza somewhere else.” Josh knew he sounded tough. This random guy might have an extra ten or twenty pounds of muscle on him, but Josh was the king of this castle. This was his domain and he was going to be damned if anyone screwed up his chance at a bright future with Lauren. The guy turned to face Lauren and his face softened. “Lauren, is there a problem?” Wait a minute. How the heck did the random guy know Lauren’s name? “I’m not sure,” Lauren said, “Josh here didn’t mention if the order was ready yet. It’s just him tonight, so maybe things are running slow.” It was time for Josh to speak up. “Lauren, you know this guy?” Lauren turned to face Josh again. “Yeah, this is my boyfriend, Harvey, we’re trying to get back to some friends we’re having over for game night.” Josh felt his world begin to crumble around him. That was it. The game was over. Time to go home. Josh walked to the take-out box and grabbed Lauren’s stupid half and half pizza. As if putting mushrooms on a pizza made it any healthier. Josh watched the two of them walk outside, get in their car, and drive away. All that work he put into showing her how great of a guy he could be and she fell for the same stupid trap all the hottest girls seemed to fall into. They find some total loser who can lift heavy weights and then project a personality onto him to make themselves feel better. Meanwhile, Josh’s dating life was absolute garbage. He never had a girlfriend in high school. All the girls he met in college were idiots who kept hooking up with frat bros in higher grades. After dropping out, he managed to get one long-distance girlfriend, but that whole situation made Josh feel funny when he thought about it. Most of the girls in the Orndo area were air-headed bimbos. Anytime Josh thought he found a decent woman with a great body and an interesting personality, they were always shackled with some random, dumpy guy. Okay, sure, some of the guys were objectively very attractive, but Josh knew he was pretty good-looking himself. He had thick, dark hair that he kept around shoulder length to help keep the sun off his neck when he went out fishing. His Ex-girlfriend told him his hazel eyes looked like stars that glistened in the night. He was basically almost 5’11 which meant he was practically six feet tall. He only weighed around 150 pounds so he was super lean and shredded. Technically, you couldn’t tell he had any muscle because his body was weirdly soft to the touch, but Josh wasn’t worried about that. He could always bulk up if he really wanted to, but he didn’t want a silly thing like big muscles getting in the way of a woman seeing the real him. He was kind and caring. He knew how to treat a woman like a real princess. All he needed was a chance to show how much he had to offer. And it’s not like he wanted much in return. Some basic level of connection and a nice body to hold at night couldn’t be too much to ask for. But no, Lauren had to trap herself in a retionship with some jerk who was probably super toxic and maniputive. Josh wished Lauren would see past that guy’s charm and body, but he knew it was probably never going to happen. Josh muttered to himself as he began to close up the store, “Some guys have all the luck.”