I spent the first few hours flinging myself into the door, then resting till I had enough strength to do it again. Completely useless, I know. But I needed to do something. It kept my thoughts from spiraling into endless panic. But I was painfully aware of how pathetic my attempts to “break out” were. What was going to happen to Tiffany? Where was she right now? What were these people making her do? What did they want?

  Were they just trying to find a way to kill her? Oh, heck no! I flung myself into the door again. I stumbled back to the ground. A small, warm trickle of blood dripped from my cheek down to the ground.

  “Tiffany! Tiffany!” I screamed. How could I help her? I didn’t know, but I had to. I had sworn from the age of nine to always protect her, never let anyone harm her in any way. Now I was failing. I had always failed. Images of Tiffany crouched on the ground in the woods with a knife in her chest flashed through my mind. Had it been me? Had I driven her to do that? What if it wasn’t just Connie’s death? You will never be my sister, you will never be part of this family, you will never have a home here.

  All of these awful things I had said to her. My heart sank. Did she ever still think of these things? Did she ever feel frightened or unsafe around me? Was she angry with me? Or worst of all, did she agree with what I had said? Had I made her feel worthless? Was that why she wanted to die? Was it because Connie was the only person in the world who truly loved her, and she was dead. I’m a good-for-nothing wretch. I flung myself into the wall again, watching with satisfaction as more blood dripped from my face to the cold stone ground below.

  Images of my past self flooded my mind. All I had ever done was hurt her, mock her, hate her. Now that I had finally set out to protect her, I was failing. There was nothing I could do to fix the damage I had done. I hit the wall again, howling as I was sent flying back into my corner. Well, if I died doing this then what was Alexander going to have to threaten Tiffany with? , I couldn’t help but think to myself. I sat up.

  There was something to that. I had some power here. Without me, Tiffany was unbreakable, unstoppable, and couldn’t be controlled. Yes, I had something I could use now. It was my own ability to feel pain and to lose my life that weakened Tiffany. Yet in a way that was also my enemy’s weakness. Yes! I could help. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I needed to think through things calmly. I needed to wait for the perfect time. I’d show them, I’d show them. The door squeaked open. I looked up. Tears filled my eyes.

  “Thank goodness.” I leaped up and flung my arms around Tiffany’s neck and hid my face in her shoulder like I was a little girl. “I was so worried! Are you alright? They didn’t hurt you, did they?”

  “No, I’m fine.” Tiffany frowned at me. “My goodness, Tyla! What happened to you? You’re all bloody. Here, lie down. Do you feel dizzy?” I did as she told me.

  “Tiffany, what’s happening here? Who are these people? What do they want with you?”

  “Easy now, try to focus on breathing, alright? I know you want answers, and I’ll give them to you. But for now, you need to rest.” I looked down at my clothes. They were stained with blood, vomit, and whatever that nasty blue stuff was. “I’m so sorry I got you into this,” Tiffany whispered.

  “No! I’m sorry!”

  “Sorry for what?” I burst into tears afresh.

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  “I’m sorry for everything!”

  “There you go again. It’s in the past, Tyla; leave it there.”

  “I love you so much!”

  “I know you do, and I love you too. I won’t let them hurt you again. But you need to do me a favor and not bash your head into the wall, alright? Can you do that for me, Tyla?”

  “Yes, I can do that for you. Mama and Papa probably know something’s wrong, right? They would have noticed that we’re missing by now. Right? They’ll find us, don’t you think? If they knew that we were in danger of any kind, they wouldn’t hesitate to tear the world apart to find us. Right?”

  “It’s not that simple. I’m sorry, Tyla.”

  “Are these people part of the military?”

  “No, not exactly.”

  “Who are they? Tiffany, what’s going to happen to you?”

  “I don’t know. I promise I’ll explain things to you in a little bit, but right now I want you to rest. Close your eyes and try to sleep.”

  “But!” I closed my eyes and fell silent. This wasn't helping. Tiffany sighed.

  “What was in that stuff? You aren’t acting at all like yourself. Rest up now.”

  “Alright. You should sleep too.”

  “I will.” I felt Tiffany nestle up next to me on the ground. We were going to be alright. We had to be. I let the sweet numbness wash over me willingly this time. Why was I such an awful, selfish person? Why couldn’t I be more like Tiffany? No, I shouldn’t think like that. That was a trap. I had hated her because I wanted to be her. That was what had torn us apart. I wished I could travel back in time and force little me to be a better little sister.

  If I had been kind and loving to her in the beginning, maybe she never would have tried to end her life. Maybe she’d be bolder, and more willing to follow her heart. If I had seen that even though she had everything I wanted, she was miserable, would things have played out differently? That was it, that was what nobody could see. I thought back to the school days we had spent together. I wondered… wondered…

  “How did you do it?” I asked. Tiffany just smiled and shrugged. She clung to the test papers like they were the greatest treasure in the whole world. “You always get the best grades! You’re amazing!” Tiffany flushed and smiled.

  “Thanks. I-I’m a little surprised, honestly. I didn’t have as much time to study as I would have liked.”

  “So, that just shows how amazing you are!” I burst out. Tiffany laughed and looked over her papers with shining eyes once again. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a handful of kids staring at us; they were looking at Tiffany with frowns on their faces. I shot them my very best death glare and they looked away again. But not before Tiffany noticed them. Her shoulders slumped and her eyes lost their sparkle. Without looking up, she slipped the papers back into her backpack. I leaned forward.

  “They’re just jealous. Don’t let them get under your skin.”

  “I know. That doesn’t make me feel any better.”

  “I’m saying they’re the problem, not you.” Tiffany didn’t meet my eyes. She didn’t trust me.

  “What if that’s not the reason?” she asked. What? Of course it was the reason. I knew better than anyone what it was like to be jealous of Tiffany.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, what if it’s something else? Like, what if I said something that really pissed them off? Maybe I did something wrong without realizing it. Maybe that’s the real reason nobody in my class talks to me.” She really wanted to think that, didn’t she? She hated the idea that she really was better than the others. All I could think to do was take her hand and smile. She smiled back. I hoped that helped. But couldn’t she see what was wrong? She really was better, and that made her hate herself.

  She was top of her class every week, she was surprisingly athletic, all the teachers adored her, she was beautiful and just humble enough to make you feel angry. That was all true, whether she liked it or not. She had everything…and hated herself for it. That was what the students couldn’t see.

  That was what I hadn’t been able to see. If they knew, if they understood, would they change their minds about Tiffany? Or would they just see a way to make her feel bad? There was no way of knowing. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Tiffany kept getting grades she was happy with, and I’d burn the homework of any kid who ever decided to pick on her.