XXXI

  I woke to Akmuo’s voice in my ear, “We’ll never let you go again.”

  “We promise,” Medis whispered full of love.

  I was cuddled between them. Their bodies warm and surrounding me. They were only a few Twilights older than me, but their bodies seemed so vast in that moment. I cried, and they held me tighter and I shook my head. I wanted to tell them I wasn’t crying out of sorrow. Even last night, I wasn’t crying because I was lost or because they left me.

  Last night I cried for the creature.

  This morning I cried for the love my brothers had for me.

  “We’re so sorry, Lulu.”

  “We love you.”

  “We’ll always be there for you from now on.”

  “We promise.”

  XXXII

  The next night I couldn’t sleep. All my thoughts turned towards the creature in the forest. All day I longed to wander off and find it again, but my brothers wouldn’t let me out of their sight. No one would. When Akmuo and Medis went to help HoPa gather berries, my mother carried me on her back as she ran and jumped and climbed through the forest. Sweating and loving every moment of closeness with her, the creature kept dragging at my thoughts, gnawing at the back of my head.

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  She went through the forms of Mirtis Kardas and I followed along, as I often did. My short legs and poor balance unable to do the more complex maneuvers, but I never gave up. I knew one day I’d be beautiful and lithe like my mother, even if I was short and pudgy at the moment.

  Even when we bathed, my family moved in a net formation round me, keeping me from getting lost. When HoPa and LoPa massaged mother, they kept me beside them. HoPa explained to me and my brothers how to massage someone properly. When mother was done, we massaged LoPa and HoPa.

  I took a nap, knowing I was trapped with them for the day. I slept under the purple sky, the ladybugs and butterflies and dragonflies fluttering through the air while LoPa pulled weeds from the garden and HoPa prepared dinner.

  Finally sleep took the rest of them and I wandered out into the Twilight. For a moment, I remembered Lapas crying. I was walking past the last place I saw him before the Deathwalkers freed him. A shudder ran through me, starting at the base of my neck and radiating through my limbs and chest, settling in my stomach as a cold knot.

  “I miss you,” I whispered. Then tore out some grass and threw it into the air. “I hope you’re free.”

  In the forest, it occurred to me that I had no idea where the creature was or even where that clearing in the forest was. Afraid to get lost, I walked in deliberate direction.

  I didn’t find it and there was no moaning to lead me, so I returned home. Tired and anxious. I nestled into mother’s embrace and let her heartbeat lead me to dreams of an infinite ocean where all the dead become a beach for a Child Goddess with the blackest hair and eyes like Twilight.