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Chapter Eleven: A Name of My Own

  The night sky swallowed me as I flapped my wings and took flight. The village where Edith’s house sat fell away beneath me. If I looked down I’d still be able to see Cassia’s face looking out a window, trying to follow me. She’d been resistant when I told her I was going to fly by myself for a bit, but she’d understood the need after some back and forth.

  I couldn’t carry her around in my claws currently. Whatever magic had let me accomplish the feat on my first flight was fickle. The more I learned about dragon magic, the more it seemed to be an unreliable source of power. When it worked, it tended to answer a powerful need or desire. The rest of the time it refused to make itself known, even when it would have been greatly convenient.

  Carrying my Cassia for a casual look around the landscape apparently did not qualify as a powerful need.

  Now that I could fly without being consumed with worry, the world spread out beneath me. In the distance I could see the Cursed Forest. Beyond it was the mountain where I was born. Both lay in the direction of the setting sun.. In the opposite direction, where the sun rose, I saw the land change from rolling hills to wide plains. It was like a sea of grass.

  In the direction of the brightest star in the sky, the land dipped down and became water logged. Trees grew there, but they were small scrawny things. It was a realm of puddles and marsh reeds. I could not see it from here, but the wind from that direction carried the scent of salt. Memories which were not my own suggested that a lot of water was that way.

  Opposite of the Bright Star, the hills stretched out like ripples on a stream’s surface. The tilled soil of humans ended and the wilderness lay beyond. Out of all the places that I looked, this seemed the most promising. A constant chill wind blew in from the direction of the Bright Star, carrying that salty scent. The lands which it blew towards were surely warmer than the land which I had been born to.

  An easier winter would mean more prey for me and my Cassia. If I squinted, I thought I could see a line of mountains in that direction as well. In the night, it was like a thin pale line at the edge of the horizon. Mountains could have caves to make my Den in. It wouldn’t be the same as the buildings humans liked to create, but I was sure I could make it comfortable. The open wilderness that way also meant we were less likely to be disturbed.

  It would be a journey, that was certain. Unless I could figure out how to make my magic cooperate, me and Cassia would be walking all the way there. Humans were frustratingly slow creatures. In the forest I could out pace my Cassia many times over. Out in the open that gap would only widen.

  Unless we wanted to be seen, it might be better to travel at night. My Cassia could not see as well as I could in the dark. We could hunt as we traveled, but we probably ought to bring some kind of food with us just in case. At the very least, my Cassia could bring food suited to humans so that she could maintain her strength. We would need to plan the trip together.

  I took a small while to memorize the lay of the land before I turned my body downwards and soared back towards Edith’s house. My wings let me glide near silently through the air and I could use my tail like a rudder to guide my angle of approach. As I came in close to Edith’s rooftop, I changed the angle of my wings and spread them wide to ‘scoop’ the air.

  I’d misjudged the angle a bit. I clipped the top of the roof with my claws, sending snow skittering down its sides. A couple of pumps of my wings hopped me over the remaining space to land in the garden. A quick check of my body confirmed everything was intact, but my back feet were sore from slipping on the snow. If asked, I’d say I executed a graceful landing and entirely meant to end up in the garden.

  Shaking my limbs, I turned to walk through the garden gate. It let me out right behind Edith’s house where a small door would let me inside. As I approached, I could hear voices speaking from inside. It was Edith and my Cassia. They spoke in quiet tones, as if to ensure no one overheard.

  Curiosity overtook me. They weren’t fighting, which was different than usual. What could they be saying that they wouldn’t want others to hear? Against my better judgement I parked myself by the back door and sat on my haunches, listening in.

  “-is how I got the scar,” Cassia said to Edith. “I don’t think he meant to do it. When we met, he was much more like a frightened animal. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “Being a little foolish isn’t a sin Cassia. If it is, then I’m in a great deal of trouble,” Edith replied. She nursed a mug of tea in her hands. “I’m not sure what I would have done if it were me.”

  “You wouldn’t have almost died in the woods like an idiot after throwing a tantrum,” Cassia said bitterly.

  “Cease that kind of talk lass. Ye couldn’t have known such evil was out there. Did you give up when you were attacked, or did you fight?”

  “Of course I fought! The bastard broke my father’s bow in my hand.”

  “Fighting a mighty foe who gets the jump on ye and surviving is a victory, Cassia. Ye are strong. Living alone made things hard… but ye didn’t lay down and die. Ye are one of the most capable hunters I’ve ever met,” Edith said in slow and firm tones.

  There was an extended silence after that.

  “When… when we met back then, why did you avoid me?” Cassia asked. She sounded wounded by the memory. Edith blew a long sigh through her teeth.

  “It was wrong of me to do so. Ye were just a girl, really. Not that ye looked like it just then. Maybe ye don’t remember, but ye were a feral looking critter back then. All covered in mud and butchered furs.”

  “That’s not fair! Dresses don’t last out in the woods. I learned how to make better clothes eventually.”

  “Aye, I won’t deny that yer kit looks right sharp now. Back then… Well I’d heard stories about wild folk living in the woods, not fit for civilized company. So there I was, rooting around in a rotting log for a pot-bellied fungus. Next time I looked up, ye were coming out from behind a pine with a big ole skinning knife!”

  “... I was gutting a quail.”

  “Aye that’d have been nice to know. Frightened the shite out of me, covered up to ye elbows in blood and muck. I know it weren’t fair lass. Really, I’m as sorry as I can be that I didn’t stick around to ask questions.”

  “I suppose… you wouldn’t go into the ‘Cursed Forest’ without being a bit frightened to start with.”

  “Aye lass, aye,” Edith said with a chuckle. “Course if I’d known how evil it actually was, I’d have picked up my house and moved far away from here. It’s… funny, aye? How… at least according to that dragon of yours, that evil is gone now.”

  “I don’t remember much of that, but I don’t think I could forget that part. It was terrifying… but…” Cassia whispered, twisting her thumbs together.

  “But what lass?” Edith asked quizzically.

  “...Am I strange, for thinking that fire was beautiful?”

  “Ahm… Ah. I don’t… think… I don’t think ye are strange lass. Not about that anyways,” Edith said before strategically taking a sip of her tea.

  “You know that he’s… probably going to do something else silly, right?” Cassia said carefully.

  “How do ye mean?” Edith said, equally cautious.

  “Just that… well. I don’t think he means to, but it’s… easy, to get caught in his flow. Like a leaf being plucked by a gust of wind. You don’t know where… where you’ll end up.” Cassia fidgeted with her hands, digging her nails into her palms.

  “Aye, I’ve got a scar just like you to that effect lass. I’m not… going to steal him away, ye know that right?” Edith asked softly.

  “I didn’t mean like-” Cassia sputtered.

  “Hush lass. If… if he asks, I may well follow. But ye and him need to sort some things out between ye, that much is clear as day.”

  Cassia made further protests, but Edith cut her off.

  “Ye are a big lass now. Ye fought a giant monster and lived. Having a hard talk with a young dragon that clearly adores ye ain’t nearly as scary as that.” Edith paused for a moment. “A ‘bad’ dragon that is terrible at hiding when his tail keeps hitting my wall.”

  Damnit.

  This lecture had started off as another one about ‘young ladies’ and how eavesdropping on private conversations was a terrible thing for a dragon to do. After that it veered into hanging around outside in the cold where a dragon could get ill. I didn’t bother trying to argue back. Nothing I said was going to win any points in this contest.

  Edith had made a hasty retreat to her own bedroom to give us ‘space to talk’. The traitor. I didn’t know what she was thinking. I’d been happy to hear her say that she would follow us if I asked. I would have missed her company, now that I had grown used to her talkativeness. Keeping her close was also useful for helping her pay off her debt to me. She’d claimed it of her own volition, but I wasn’t going to tell her not to try.

  I refocused on my Cassia before she noticed my mind was wandering.

  “-and another thing! Who gave you permission to go marking other women willy nilly?” Woah, what did I miss? This lecture had sailed out way beyond my understanding while I was distracted. “How is Edith going to find a husband if she’s marked by a bleeding dragon? Sure that bloody potion made her look like a fairy tale princess, but she has a great harking chomp in her shoulder!”

  I tried to understand what was making Cassia so angry. While unfortunate, that sounded like a problem for Edith, not Cassia.

  “I mean really, you… you stup-... you silly beast!” Cassia had never been this angry with me before, even when she’d woken up to find dead rabbits bleeding all over her bed. “What gives you the right to… to… to save me and show up in my dreams and…” One of her hands gripped my gemstone around her neck so tightly that I feared she’d hurt herself.

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  “Then I wake up like I was in a fairy tale, except there’s already another princess there uninvited!” Cassia stomped her foot into the floor hard enough to make me jump a little. “You’re MY dragon! Not hers!”

  Her shout echoed in the house for a moment. We were both silent for a long time after that.

  Cassia clutched at the amulet, panting with a hoarse throat. I could see her trembling as she looked at me. Each breath made her shake a little, like an autumn leaf in the breeze before it fell.

  So that’s what this was about. I was horrible with human emotions, but I was a dragon. I understood the concept of ‘It’s Not Yours, It’s Mine’ better than almost anyone. Me and Cassia had our accord, but we’d never said out loud what that actually meant. It had just happened, grown naturally as we’d lived together in the forest.

  While I didn’t understand why she felt that way, Cassia worried that my time with Edith had made me reconsider our accord. I hadn’t been able to communicate what she meant to me. Cassia was not great with words either, so that made two of us. It was a surprise, but it was intensely satisfying to me to learn that Cassia was just as possessive of me as I was of her.

  She was mine. I needed to help her understand that ‘I was Hers’, also.

  Edith couldn’t replace Cassia. The entire notion was impossible. It would be like trying to replace the sun with the moon. The moon could not make it daytime outside. What’s more, Edith wasn’t trying to be something she wasn’t. She was just being herself, like I was.

  I could admit that I would like Edith to be ‘mine’, but it would always be different than what was between me and my Cassia. You could not have two of the same thing. Even things which were similar, were still subtly different. You could, however, appreciate something’s unique qualities.

  The silence had continued for a long time. Cassia’s breathing had slowed, but she remained tense. How should I approach this?

  “Mine,” I told her firmly. My claws clicked on the wooden floor as I drew close to her. She backed up for a moment, but she stopped and knelt down in front of me. Our eyes were much closer to level with each other this way. She took a deep shuddering breath.

  “Cassia-Róisín O’Coille,” I continued. The syllables rebelled in my mouth, but I forced them to obey. I raised one claw, pressing it gently into her chest below her hand. “Cassia, is mine.” I then turned the claw back on myself. “Dragon… is Cassia’s. Always.”

  Cassia closed her eyes, fighting back tears.

  “That’s… that’s not fair,” she said with a heated hiccup. “You can’t… say something like that. It can’t just be okay because you say my name. You haven’t even got a name yourself! We just keep calling you ‘dragon’!”

  “Cassia give name,” I insisted. It felt right. Out of any living creature, she had earned the right to give me a name. That really seemed to upset her. The tears flowed hot and sticky now.

  “Bloody… damn it,” she whispered. “Every time. Every bloody time, I’m a mess and you’re there, sweet as a plum.” I pressed my scaled head against hers, nudging aside her hands. “I’m supposed to be your Huntress aren’t I? Cool as a cucumber and able to scold you when you’ve been naughty. When did you get so big and smart?”

  “Cassia,” I rumbled. She was my Cassia, even if she wasn’t in top form just now. She would always be Cassia to me.

  “Sanguine,” she replied. “You are my Sanguine. Like the ruby red of your scales. Confident, even when things are at their worst.”

  When she said it, I felt it in my blood. That was my name. My magic, that resonated through my veins, called out in a joyous chorus. I was the Dragon Sanguine, first of that name. I was the Dragon of Blood. Everything that bled and lived was to be Mine.

  Fifth, the Dragon of the Sun, shuddered. She’d been sitting atop a sand dune when she’d felt an icy chill flow through her veins. It cut right through the warmth that she’d been enjoying. Someone out there, one of her siblings, had just challenged her again. It was becoming intolerable. If not for their Oath she would have already gone and burnt them to a crisp.

  Fourth, the Dragon of the Tides, choked on water for a moment. He had been stalking one of the marsh people, who strode through the ponds on tall sticks. The bubble of gasped air erupting out of the marsh alerted them and they tottered towards dry land. Fourth was going to drown whichever of his siblings that had ruined his meal.

  Third, the Dragon of Slaughter, looked up from his latest kill. Blood, which had been splattered all over his wicked claws, had quivered against him for a moment. Around him was a pile of corpses, most half eaten. One of his siblings had claimed rule over something that was his. He’d tear them into shreds for that.

  Second, the Dragon of Gold, stopped counting her coins. A mountain of wealth surrounded her on all sides. It was not enough. Her mortal servants brought more every day. For a moment she pondered whether she ought to pay someone to go hunt down her annoying sibling that kept making a ruckus. She decided that she’d put up a bounty and eat whoever came to collect on it.

  First, simply smiled. He was happy that one of his siblings was finally making a name for themselves. Hopefully dear Seventh grew big and strong before he came to challenge First for the throne. He would be so much more delicious to devour if he did.

  “You know we do have a child in the building,” Edith cut in. She was peeking out from the door to her bedroom. A strange smile was on her face, like a cat that had just spotted an unobservant mouse.

  Cassia's face turned as red as my scales. A high pitched whine left her lips, closely followed by a series of sputtering noises. Words seemed to fail her for a moment, but she eventually settled on: “EDITH!”

  The healer in question ducked back into her room before Cassia could find something to throw at her. I fluttered my wings a bit, blocking my Cassia from chasing her. She looked ready to hunt Edith down then and there. After a few moments of angry grumbling she slumped back down.

  “Why are you taking her bloody side?” She pouted at me. Her hands had wrapped around the back of my neck. Fearing another headlock, I responded quickly.

  “Edith says truth. Human child here.” I hadn’t checked on the child myself, but Edith had told me they were recovering slowly. They didn’t need the shock of seeing a dragon face to face.

  Cassia stared at me. I stared back at her. Her face had been cooling off, but now that ruby red complexion flared up even more vibrantly. She started making a strangled hiss.

  “Tha- That's! Not what she's- BAD DRAGON! BAD!” She had laid her hands on the pillow from her cot. With all her might, Cassia started buffeting me with it. “No late night snacks! No story time! No cuddl- no sleeping in my bed!”

  I didn’t understand what I'd said to upset her. Did she hate children? For some reason that disappointed me.

  Edith's howling laugh echoed from the other room.

  I was definitely not sulking the next morning. Being curled up in the back garden with my head tucked under my wing was entirely my own choice and not at all because Cassia kept calling me ‘bad dragon’. She had been true to her word. The whiplash from her becoming clingy to now acting colder than a winter morning was disorienting.

  The sound of the back door opening was followed by feet crunching through the snow. It was muted in the chill, but I could smell Edith's herbal scent. The footsteps got louder as she approached.

  “Guess the cold don't bother you none, aye beasty?” She asked me. I could tell she was standing right next to me, but I kept my head tucked away. After a few seconds of cold silence she continued. “Well the cold bloody well bothers me, so scoot over.”

  Edith patted on my back softly. When I didn’t move she did so more insistently. With an entirely dignified grumble I folded my wing back. Now that I could see her, it was obvious Edith was telling the truth. She was bundled up in so much clothing that she looked like one of those white wooled creatures humans kept in their fields. A thick cloak was pulled tight around her shoulders and a broad brimmed hat with a pointy top sat on her head.

  Edith sat down on the ground next to me with an ‘oomph’. Underneath of my body the snow had melted away to reveal the soil of the garden. It had taken a couple hours to get nice and cozy with my body heat and I resented the intrusion. I was rather surprised when Edith tugged my tail and head into her lap.

  “Well? The Thaw aint here yet beasty. Tuck yer wing back in.” I didn't understand what brought this on, but I obliged. My wing settled around Edith's back like a second cloak. Only her hat and head stuck out the top, but as she nestled down the gap became quite small. All anyone could have seen was her eyes poking out from beneath her hat.

  “Don't worry about yer lass getting all cross with ye for this… liberty,” Edith said. I could feel the vibrations of her speech even through her heavy clothing. “Me and her had a little ‘chat’ just now.” I wondered if that somehow meant my Cassia had gotten her own ‘young lady’ lecture. Wisely, I said nothing and let Edith keep talking.

  “It's my fault really,” she said with a little huff. “I shouldn't'a teased her so much. A young lass like that can be a spring bloom. They wilt under too much sun.” That didn’t really sound right. My Cassia loved being out in the sun. Edith laid one of her mitten clad hands on my snout.

  “What that means, dear beasty, is that us humans are creatures of feeling. We aren’t always so good at seeing things clearly, when we get in a mood.” That at least sounded more familiar. I had a lot of experience with my Cassia’s mood turning without warning. She was more dangerous than the Rotting Bear at times.

  “Ye need to understand, dragon, that yer lass didn’t… get taught all the things a young lady ought to. Consequence of her upbringing. If her mum was around longer, it'd be easier I expect.”

  What did that say about me? What kind of things could I be missing, as a consequence of leaving the nest early? A low rumble of dissatisfaction rolled through me.

  “Aye, I know it’s hard beasty,” Edith said softly while stroking my head. “I don't rightfully know how big dragons get, but I think ye still have a lot of growing to do. Ain’t just yer wingspan neither. Lots of things that're hard to understand will make more sense with time.” She paused for a moment. “Women will always be a tough one, but that's true for all male-folk so don't fuss about it none.”

  While her words left complicated feelings in my gut, I did enjoy how Edith spoke to me. It was something I didn’t realize I had been missing. Once, my Cassia had been the one to teach me. She was much more stern about it, but she always kept at it until I had gotten things right. Something in our relationship had changed, though I didn't know what to call it. I was sure she had more to teach me still, but it was ‘complicated’ right now.

  Edith showed a calm certainty that I wanted more of. Leaving her here in this village was becoming something I'd regret if it happened. Who else was going to explain the mysteries of my Cassia to me?

  My head nudged more firmly into Edith's hand.

  “Sanguine,” I rumbled.

  “What's that beasty?”

  “My name. Sanguine,” I said more resolutely. Edith deserved to know the name my Cassia had given me.

  “Oh, that's a lovely name,” Edith said sweetly. “Very dashing, for a young beasty like ye. …I'll still call ye ‘beasty’ from time to time, if'n ye don't mind. It's a bit… More comfortable. Saying I got bit by a wee beasty is a bit less of a take than saying I was marked by the Dragon Sanguine.”

  Something in those words rang with me. I could feel a connection to Edith through the scar on her shoulder if I paid attention. It reminded me of how I could find my Cassia.

  “Heal mark?” I asked with some discomfort. If we tried, we might be able to find a way to remove it. Apparently it would help her get ‘a husband’. I didn't want to say what I thought about that.

  “Oh! Well that's a kind offer my dear Sanguine, but…,” Edith said before hesitating. “Scars teach us lessons. I lost a fair few just recently. I'd like to keep this one if'n it's alright. It'll remind me…” She shifted back and forth on the ground. “Remind me to be less foolish.”

  “And to be careful around big beasties like ye.” She patted my snout. “Alright, that's enough sitting on my posterior. Can't feel my bloody nose.”

  Edith went to stand up. I shifted my body, rising to help nudge her upright. She wobbled for a moment before steadying herself with a hand on my shoulder.

  She moved to walk inside, but stopped when I spoke.

  “Edith.”

  “Yes beasty?”

  “Come with us,” I said softly, almost so quiet that it was lost in the snow.

  Edith reached up and rubbed her shoulder.

  “Maybe, beasty. No promises yet, but if I get a couple of small matters sorted… I'd be happy to go on a little adventure with ye.”

  Then she headed inside out of the cold. I did not take long to follow her.

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