[Conceal, Opposition]

  “Alright, I know exactly what this monster is, it’ll be in a cave. So we split up. As soon as you find a cave, come right back. Neither one of you is equipped to deal with it, but don’t worry I am. If you haven’t found anything in fifteen minutes, just come back, Jaq, you go left, Harry, you go to the right. I’ll go up the middle.

  I crept through the woods , the mosquitoes were quite bad, I didn’t register them at the time, I was so worried about Groucho. It’d been hours and hours since Nyx had warned me that Groucho was walking into a trap. I should have refused Draco’s ultimatum that Groucho be included on this trip, even if that meant Draco wasn’t coming either.

  It’s alright, if the search for my granddad is dangerous for me, I’m blood. It shouldn’t be dangerous for my friends. They should all be home safe in Tregaron. It’s very dark, and I’m trying to be as stealthy as possible but I keep stepping on twigs that snap, and dried leaves crackle, I even stepped on a black mushroom, that I hadn’t seen at all, until it exploded with a quiet pop.

  I saw bats, which freak me out, but they were high in the sky, swooping down to feed, I saw a giant centipede at least a foot in length, I gave it a wide berth. The other millions of bugs that I couldn’t see in the dark. The spider webs that tangled in my hair. What I couldn’t see, I could hear an insect symphony, the croaking of frogs providing the bass.

  What I didn’t see was a cave, after about fifteen or twenty minutes I turned back. A short time later, I saw Harry waiting at our landing space. No sign of Draco. We waited another ten minutes silently.

  “Why don’t we follow Draco’s trail, he’s probably found the cave and decided to deal with it on his own, in order to protect us, Harry. What do you think?”

  “I think you’re probably right, Jaq, why don’t you wait here in case he flies back and I’ll just have a quick look.”

  “No Harry, thanks but I don’t need your protection, I’m a grown woman and can look after myself, if you really think that someone should stay here, you stay and I’ll check it out and be right back.”

  “Fine Jaq, we’ll both go, just stay behind me, I have a weapon.”

  “Harry, you have a stick, it hasn’t even been sharpened into a point, hardly a weapon, it looks rotten. You hit someone over the head with that it’ll break and alert the other person you are there. That’s about as much effect your weapon is going to have. Neither of us are fighters, Groucho could probably kick both our butts at the same time.”

  He pulled the knife from his belt, waved it in front of my face.

  “Sorry, I forgot you had that. Still, when was your last knife fight?”

  “About four hundred and seventy five years ago, Italy was quite dangerous back then.”

  We crept ahead in silence after that, but I did stay behind him. It wasn’t long before we saw the entrance to the cave. I wanted to rush in, but Harry insisted we wait a couple of seconds to look and listen, before entering the monster’s lair. It was all quiet, so we started to move into the mouth of the cave.

  I could hear Draco’s voice, but couldn’t make out the words at first, the echos bounced from wall to wall like a squash ball that’d been hit by King Kong, but the closer we got to the source, the less the echo interfered.

  “Listen Maude, we both know that you can’t come close to beating me. If you hurt my friend, you’ll make me very angry. I probably won’t be able to control myself, and I’ll just rip your still beating hearts out of your chest, while you remain frozen in space and won’t even be able to spit some ineffective poison at me. If you let my friend go, I’ll not only spare your life, but I’ll let you leave this cave unharmed.”

  “I don’t trust you Draco. I’ve seen you side with humans over dragons, your friend here has the stink of humans all over him. I smell humans creeping into my cave even as we speak. I don’t trust you Draco.”

  “You can trust this with your life. Like I said if you hurt one hair on his head I will end you, right here and right now. Does that sound remotely like a lie to you Maude? I really don’t care if you live or die, you can walk out of this cave but my patience is really starting to wear thin.”

  “Fine, but swear on your eggs, that I’ll be let go unharmed.”

  “If you leave this cave and return to the first floor, where you belong, and don’t harm anyone along the way. Then I’ll swear on my eggs that you’ll go, unharmed, but if I catch you off the first floor again, I will end you, understood.”

  “Damn you Draco, fine, I agree.”

  “I’ll release your claw first, let Groucho go, after Groucho and my friends have left the cavern, you’ll be released. No one gets hurt, from here on until you reach the first floor or you die.”

  “Agreed.”

  “Groucho can you walk? If you can, walk into the tunnel, Jaq and Harry are waiting for you, the three of you go back to where we landed. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Thanks Draco, I’ll repay the favor someday.”

  “I know you will Groucho. As fast as you can find Jaq and get out of here.”

  “Got it.”

  As soon as I saw Groucho come around the corner, I ran over to him and I picked him up, hugging him to my chest. Harry and I then went as swiftly as we could out of the cave.

  “I was so worried, Groucho, are you all right?”

  “Sure, Jaq, I’m one hundred percent fine. Not a perfect hair on my head was even mussed up.”

  “Groucho, stop that, right now.”

  Stolen novel; please report.

  “Stop what?”

  “Quit playing with my boobs with your feet, it’s not funny.”

  “Sorry Jaq, I couldn’t tell they were boobs, they’re so small compared to Lolas.”

  “Very funny Groucho, if I wasn’t so relieved to see you, I’d throw you into the swamp.”

  “Thanks Jaq, for the record, I thought playing with your teeny tiny breasts was the quickest way to assure you that I’m fine. We’re still bro’s right.”

  “Yeah, we're still bros, I can see that you’re fine, so stop playing with them now.”

  “I thought if I did a good job, they might grow.”

  “GROUCHO”

  “Fine, don’t get your g-string all knotted up, I stopped.”

  He had stopped and I hugged him tighter, it was hard to be mad at the little demon, after being so scared that he’d be hurt or worse. I’m sure by the end of the day, he’d have found a way to do it. Now worry free for one second, my ADHD seems to be back. What’s going to happen with him and Lola?”

  We didn’t have long to wait at the beach, before Draco was back. Harry clambered up onto Draco’s back then he helped me up. I turned to the left back at the beach, looking for Groucho, but he was already standing behind me. Tapping me on the right shoulder. The little wise guy stood behind me and put his arms around my neck. I put my arms around Harry’s waist and we took off.

  We flew over the horrible smelling swamp and were home in minutes. We piled into the kitchen making piles of sandwiches, we’d all missed supper. I ran next door, as I had promised and told Lola, we’d found Groucho and he was fine. I thanked her for helping me earlier with the rowboat and the search. Want to come over for a sandwich? She thanked me but declined instead asking me to ask Groucho to come to her house later.

  “When Jaq gets back, I want to hear how you got caught?”

  “I’m back, Lola wants to see you later, if you're up for it.”

  “Oh yeah I’m UP alright, everytime I hear her name I get it up, get it Jaq?”

  “I got it, you little foul mouth, now let’s hear the story.”

  “Everything was fine traveling through the swamp, I was swinging from tree to tree. The only problem was the smell was so bad, it completely blinded my sense of smell. But apparently swamp dragons can still smell fine even with all that fetid rot hanging in the air. So she smelt me, before I made my way into her cavern. As soon as I rounded the tunnel corner she breathed this poison at me that took away all muscular control and I dropped to the sand. I was wide awake, but couldn’t move a muscle.

  Then like every supervillain in every story ever told, she briefed me on her arrival, fifty five years ago, and how she managed to take over the Christian theocracy here. She’s been running things here through a series of intermediaries, ever since. Soon after taking over here, she sent Elias to Heaven, to set up the scam of both heaven and hell sharing workers and a single point system.

  Her main underling now, was Lola. Who told her all about me, Jaq and Harry. But she had no clue that Draco was here and on our side. Lola was supposed to lure us to the island where we three would meet our untimely end. But Lola refused to do it, I’m not sure why.

  That’s when you three showed up to save me and you know the rest of the story. Now Jaq is responsible for overthrowing both heaven and hell.”

  “Hey I didn’t overthrow hell, I was even thrown into Literal Hell so no one can blame me.”

  “Jaq, none of us would have been here, if not for you and the old coot. Draco wouldn’t have kicked Maude out. You assembled the team, made the plans, in the end that makes you the new queen of hell.”

  “Well I do not accept the position, I just want to find granddad. Someone else should step in and rule and get rid of the theocracy. Better a king, queen, dictator than a bunch of christians robbing you of your free will.”

  “Well, I’m headed to Lolas. I'll see you all in the morning and thank you again for coming to save me.”

  Groucho left, I turned to the other two. The bites on my arms and legs were driving me nuts. I started scratching like a dog with fleas.

  “Jaq, do you want some cream for those bites to make the itch go away?”

  “Do you have some with you Draco?”

  “No but I can make some special dragon magical skin healer, it worked wonders on your burns.”

  “No thank you Draco.”

  “Why suffer Jaq.”

  “Two reasons I didn’t know what it was made of and I didn’t know you. Thank you but I won’t ever be needing any of your magical ‘seed’ again.”

  “Well if you ever need any just let me know, it’ll be my pleasure.”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you used that joke before. Now on to something more important than a few bites. Do you think we can trust Lola? After that story about how she informed on us to her boss.”

  “Jaq, I don’t think it matters if we trust her or not, this is really Groucho’s decision. I know you don’t want to leave him here, Maz will be upset. But will either of you be happy dragging him away from where he wants to be? You can’t say that she doesn’t accept him for who he is.”

  “No you’re right Harry, I want him to do what makes him happy. I just wish there was a way to make everyone happy. What do you think, Draco, any ideas to make everyone happy?”

  “She could come back with him if he asks her and if she wants to. He has his own lair, with more than enough room for two. Food is relatively cheap and I have extra hoard money they can use. Let’s not worry about it, we still need the records detailing the Colonel’s movements in Hell, after that we can figure out what each of us wants to do.”

  I went to bed with Draco’s advice pinging around my brain and I eventually fell into a restless sleep.