Chapter 09
Roberta joined Amy and I, at the judge’s table.
“I thought that went pretty well for the first filming session, what did you think, Laura?”
“Do you want my unvarnished honest opinion or a more diplomatic take, Roberta?”
“Ahh, I guess the diplomatic response.”
“Fair enough, I thought it was a very well done infomercial. I’m sure that it will sell a lot of Easy Bake Bread Ovens, to people who have never baked before.”
“Wow you must have really hated it, if that was the diplomatic response.”
“Roberta, have you ever watched the Great British Bake Off?”
“No, I never have.”
“Well, that show is simplicity itself, each week has a theme like bread week, cake week, et cetera. In the first round of bread week, the contestant chooses what kind of bread to bake. The second round is a complete surprise to the contestants with very little in the way of instructions and the third round is the longest and hardest that showcases the bakers skills. Most people tune in to see something amazing, some people tune in for disasters, others just tune in for the hosts and judges. Do you see how your segment differed from their extremely popular format?”
“No, not really, the bakers all baked good loaves of bread, and we chatted, we even had a guest host.”
“About the guest host, she was very glamorous but Cindy Lewis has probably never even tasted bread and the host is just meant to go around and chat about baking. The bakers not the hosts are supposed to give the advice. It proves they know their stuff and deserve to be on the show.”
“That’s all well and good, Laura, but we are not trying to make the Great British Bake Off. This is America, and Americans like pretty girls like Cindy and they also love gadgets. I say that we gave them both of those things in just our very first segment. I’ll bet the Great British Bake Off doesn’t give away one hundred thousand dollars for just ten days' work, plus a publishing deal.”
“No, you’re right Roberta, they just give the winning baker a Cake Plate Trophy.”
“What’s it made of solid gold?”
“No, Roberta, I believe it is made of glass.”
“Glass, you can buy a glass cake stand for under a hundred dollars I bet. Why would anyone compete or watch a show where the prize is only one hundred dollars?”
“I believe the answer is Amy and I watch it because they are real people trying their very best to bake something good and not get sent home. They are nice, help each other out and they laugh and have fun. I’m sure there is a lot of scenes where that is not the case, but those scenes get edited out.”
“Americans would never stand for that, imagine if the Giants and the Cowboys helped each other out.”
I was never going to be able to convince a rich person that money isn’t the end all of life. It was her show, I’d just let her run it the way that she wants to. Maybe she knows Americans' desires better than I do. I was shocked when Trump won the election for the first time. I mean who would vote for a rich reality TV personality. But I was even more surprised when even more Americans voted for this guy, after all the crap he pulled on the January sixth uprising. So maybe this baking show that Roberta is making is the exact kind of baking show that Americans want and deserve.
“You know, Roberta, you are probably right. I have lived so long in my little bubble here in Lake Placid, that I no longer really understand what drives my fellow Americans, apparently Christian nationalism is high on the list.”
“It’s alright Laura, I want you for your investigative skills, leave the American people to the marketeers, they know exactly what people want. I told Nora Fischer that you wanted to speak with her first and all the cast and crew are at the Inn so I told them they all have to be interviewed by you, for both marketing and security purposes. We’ll be back for segment two tomorrow morning at eleven.”
With that she breezed off.
“Laura, you don’t really believe that do you?”
“I really don’t know Amy, with the Christian nationalists and autocratic presidents running the place. I could believe almost anything. Just look at ninety percent of the movies and tv shows, I wouldn’t waste a minute on and people are claiming this is the Golden Age of television. I really don’t know. I know that the Superb Lake Placid Bake Off is one show I’ll never be streaming. It’s painful enough watching it live.”
“Well, to be honest I really only enjoy those British shows you download off the internet. I want more of Professor Tempest, Patience and Luther.”
“You only say that because you are in love with Idris Elba.”
“I’m not in love with him, Laura, I want him to get Alice in the end.”
“Me too, that’s because we are both optimists. Probably because of the life of Brian. ‘Always Look On the Brightside of Life, Amy. Now I have to go interview a potential attempted murderer.”
“Well I baked cookies, so if you are making tea for the murder suspect, be sure to give them some chocolate chip cookies.”
“Thanks Amy, I’m sorry I dragged you into this, I thought you’d enjoy it. Of course I also expected it to be completely the opposite of what it is.”
“I was just a little shocked is all, now that I know what this is, I’ll just play along. I got an entire new wardrobe out of this. I’m going to be the most glamorous cook in New York.”
I found Nora by her kitchen island, changing out of low heels into a pair of high tops. I liked her already. I have to stop making snap judgements like that. If I like the attempted murderer it’ll be that much harder turning them in.
“Hi Nora, I’m Laura, let's go into the store where we’ll have a little privacy. Want some tea and home baked cookies?”
“Sure that would be great, anything to get rid of the taste of that bread.”
“Not a fan of the Easy Bake?”
“Yeah it’s easy but not satisfying. Nothing like kneading dough to turn a dismal day brighter.”
I seated her in the reading nook and went up to the kitchen to make us tea and I filled a plate with Amy’s cookies. When I went back down to the nook with the filled tray, Nora was nowhere to be seen. But I could hear Lis laughing. It was RPG Club night, I’d forgotten, I had fun playing last time, maybe next Saturday, I can join in again. I’m sure that Amy wants to play again.
I found Nora, watching the club playing from the meeting room doorway. When she heard my approach she turned and walked back to the nook.
“What are they playing in there Laura?”
“The last time we played Vaesen, it’s a mystery monster game, where the monsters aren’t necessarily evil, it's set in Scandinavia. But they could be playing a different roleplaying game like Dungeons and Dragons tonight.”
“I’ve heard of D&D, they had a cartoon when I was little, my brother loved it.”
I poured the tea and offered Nora a cookie. I wish that I had read the file that Bobby had given me on Nora. Not a file per se more like a bio sheet. But still I wish that I’d read it.
“So Nora, you are from Wilmington and you own an orchard. Is that considered farming or are you called an Orchardist?”
“The people of Wilmington aren’t high falutin enough to know what an Orchardist is, so I’ve always considered myself a farmer, just a bit of a specialist.”
“How did you hear about the contest?”
“A friend on the county fair forum told me all about it and told me I should apply.”
“That’s right, you said you won the Apple Pie baking contest five times in a row at the fair.”
“Yes, but I have an unfair advantage. I go out and pick the best of my crop and ten minutes later, those apples are in a pie in the oven. None of the other contestants own apple orchards, so it truly is unfair.”
“Even so, it’s still very impressive. You must really love winning Nora?”
“No, honestly I just do it for fun, just to meet fellow bakers. It’s not about the blue ribbons. It’s getting to participate in a fun activity with my community.”
She was saying all the right things, but I couldn’t put my hand on why, it just didn’t seem to ring true to me. I think winning means a lot more to Nora than she is admitting to. If she is lying about that I wonder what else she may be lying about.
“That may be true of the fair, Nora, but you must really want to win the bake off. I mean a hundred thousand dollars on the line, that is some life changing amount of money.”
“Sure, it’d be nice to have a nestegg in the bank in case something goes horribly wrong around the orchard. But when I signed up I didn’t even know that there was going to be a cash prize. I mean the name is a rip off of the Great British Bake Off so I expected them to follow roughly the same rules, and prize. I was really surprised when I interviewed and was told how much was at stake. But honestly I just wish they stole the whole format, not just the name from GBBO.”
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
“I have to say, I agree entirely, Nora. How long have you been baking?”
“I made my first batch of ‘Dirty Muches’ when I was five and helped my grandma bake a pie?”
“What’s a Dirty Muches?”
“When you bake a pie you have leftover dough, so you take all the leftover dough and roll it into a square then sprinkle it with cinnamon and sugar and little bits of butter, then you roll it up like it was a tiny jelly roll. Then when it’s all rolled up you slice the dough and bake until golden brown, the flakiest most delicious cookies in the world. It’s better than a slice of pie. Maybe I just feel that way because everytime I eat one I think of my granny.”
Now I was really starting to like this woman, but she is also my best suspect. She is a beekeeper. I won’t mention that until last.
“Did you know any of the other bakers before last night?”
“No, last night was the first time we had more than a minute or two to interact. I saw a couple of them checking in when I arrived and we all said hello in the limo, but to talk to. No”
“What Roberta and Bobby have you met either of them before?”
“Yes, I met them both, around four weeks ago. I had to drive to their house for an initial interview.”
“Was that the only time?”
“Yes, that and Bobby called me to tell me that I had been chosen to appear on the show. But that is the only personal contact we’ve had. I did get a contract in the mail and a calendar of events I’d be required to attend if I agreed to become a contestant. Which of course I did.”
“Last night at the party did you happen to see any bees flying around?”
“No, not at all. It is extremely odd, that two people were stung. Bees are diurnal, the only time that they come out at night is if they are confused by artificial light. Which is a slight possibility, but bees only sting when either they are threatened or the hive is. Now not only didn’t I see any bees last night, but I also didn’t see any bees today in the daylight. So if we were a threat to the hive last night, why wouldn’t we be considered a threat today? So it is very strange indeed. I’m a beekeeper, I have kept bees since I was fifteen. I sell the honey and make candles with the beeswax.”
“If I showed you the bees from last night could you tell me what species they are?”
“If they are from around here, then yes, but I’m not a Melittologist, just a beekeeper.”
I ran upstairs and grabbed my two sandwich bags which contained the two bees then returned to the reading nook. I handed both bags to Nora. She looked at them curiously.
“Now, this is even stranger, you have two separate species of bee. See this one, it’s a little bigger and has alternating black yellow rings that’s a Western Honey Bee, just like the kind I raise.”
Then she held up the other bag.
“This is an Eastern Bumble Bee common for this area, but why are there two different species both out at night and the Honey Bee hasn’t stung anyone. It still has its stinger attached. Honey bees when they sting people, the barb on the stinger, gets attached under the skin and when the bee attempts to pull away his abdomen ruptures killing the bee. But if you look close at the Honey Bee, you’ll see the stinger is still attached. So that bee never stung anyone, and while I’m not an entomologist, it looks like it has been dead a lot longer than twenty hours. Now the Eastern Bumble Bee, its stinger is still attached, but bubble bees are tougher than honey bees and can sting multiple times without dying, so it’s possible that it stung someone, but again it looks like it was dead for a while. Still I find it very odd that two different species are found at night, highly unusual. No sign of any bees today in the light. Like I said before, artificial light can confuse the bee and they will fly because they think it’s day, they don’t fly towards lights like say a moth would. A bee would just fly its regular forging route. That means the tent is a regular forging route and yet no bees today. Do you see what I mean?”
She could be lying to confuse me, but if she is telling the truth, and a lot of what she said, I should be able to verify with some research tonight. Luckily my short term eidetic memory is working just fine. If the bees were planted there dead, how did two people get stung, at almost the exact same time and when Grace started yelling she was nowhere near Niall, so they couldn’t have both been stung by the same bumble bee and why did they name a brand of tuna after a bee? That doesn’t have anything to do with the case, but I’m going to research it tonight, just because I want to know. Could a police lab determine if a bumble bee ever stung anyone, would the person leave DNA on the stinger? Would August throw me out of his office if I suggested such a thing? I think yes, yes he would and we would have the shortest partnership in the history of quirky investigators working with stodgy police detectives.
“Nora, what did you think of the first session, is this what they described to you when you met for your interview?”
“No, not at all, I expected something like GBBO, you know. I mean pouring premeasured packets into a machine and pushing start, wasn’t what I expected at all.”
“Wait, what you didn’t have to even measure out the ingredients yourself. They were premeasured for you?”
“Yep, that’s what I mean, it wasn’t a baking contest it was a pouring and button pushing contest, Laura.”
“I don’t understand why Roberta would want something like that in her show.”
Hmm, if she had someone on the show that doesn’t bake well or at all, that is one way to ensure that they could move on. I’ll need to see the full list of scores and I’ll ask Amy to watch each of the contestants like a hawk and see if any of them are rank amateurs. This contest was starting to smell fishy and it wasn’t the Bumble Bee tuna stinking up the Bake Off.
“Thanks for your time Nora, do you like to read?”
“Yes, I love to read.”
“Well, if you’d like to trade some honey for some books, I’m ready to trade any time.”
“Is it okay to ask why?”
“Yeah sure, I’m trying a cashless summer, I no longer want to participate in the United States economy.”
“I heard you guys were all hippies here, so yeah I get it. I have to admit it, I voted for Trump, he made lots of big promises to the farmers, so my fellow farmers swayed me. But since he started, he hasn’t done a thing for the farmers and I used to do a good business with Canada, but that business is shot now. Canadians are some of the nicest people in the world but even they will start to lash back after all the nasty things he’s said about them.”
“Did you not want a woman in the White house?”
“No, nothing like that. I voted to nominate Biden, then at the last minute they just switched. Why did I even bother to go to the primary right? So with Biden not running and the other farmers saying that it would be good for us, I voted for him. But like I said, nobody's sorrier than I am about it.”
“Well, don’t beat yourself up about it. You can trade with me and not participate in the economy at the same time. But if you want cheap used books, “The Urge To Read” has a little bit of everything. If you want to see some real hippie artwork, just get on the bus and check out the ceiling. It's like a hippie Sistine Chapel, except no praying is necessary. My partner's father painted it before he passed away.”
“Cool, I’ll check it out and after the competition is over, I’ll bring down a case of honey and we can swap for some books.”
“Thanks for your time, Nora and good luck on the bake off.”
After Nora left I went up and started to do some research, everything that she had said about the bees was true. I hadn’t known that they were two different species, I noticed that they were colored differently but that might be a male female thing, like birds sometimes look completely different based on gender. I double checked that bumble bees could sting more than once and survive and honey bees did die if they stung a person, but might survive if they stung another insect.
In fact the only thing that she said that didn’t ring true for me was when she just did these contests for the fun of it. I think she is more invested in winning than she wants to let on. I can’t rule her out, but she pointed out just how odd all of this looked. If she set it up herself why would she point out the discrepancies. If anyone knew that a beekeeper was to compete and they planned sabotage, then Nora would make the perfect fall woman for the real saboteur.
***
The next morning, I left the kitchen after chatting with Amy around a quarter to ten, I was going to the police station to speak with August. But first I wanted to talk to Lucy. She was standing behind the counter chatting to Willow on the video link. I yelled hello and waved at Willow, then I was going to go look at the Physical eBook Room that Lucy had been working on, when Lucy asked me to speak to Willow.
“Laura, have you heard what Pappy plans to do about turning himself in?”
“No, I’m sorry Willow, he hasn’t said anything to me about it. Hopefully he is talking this over with Phoebe. I hope he's not trying to carry this on his own. I really hope he does it. Eve wouldn’t advise him to do it, if it wasn’t in his best interest.”
“Yes, I want him too as well, but I don’t want to tell him that in case something goes wrong.”
“Do you want me to speak to him for you? Tell him how concerned you are that he’ll get caught and Eve won’t be there to save the day?”
“Would you mind, Laura?”
“No, Willow, not at all. I just didn’t want to butt in if you preferred I didn’t.”
“No, Laura, please butt in. I gotta go, customer. I’ll talk to you later, you can let me know how it goes. Bye Lucy.” she yelled.
Just when I was about to go to the police station for a quick chat, Danyl, our Canadian LitRPG writer, entered the building.
“Hi Laura, right? Roberta said that you wanted to speak to each of us so I thought I’d make an appointment and I wanted to pick up a book. I got hacked somehow before I left home. According to reddit I should get Penetration Testing: A Hands-On Introduction to Hacking by Weidman I think, do you stock this Laura?”
“No I don’t stock any nonfiction but they might have it on Urge, if they don’t then I can have it here tomorrow from our sister store in Woodstock. I’m sure that Willow stocks it. It's undoubtedly the best hacking book in the world. You could probably get into the NSA after reading this.”
“Oh, I don’t want to get in, I want to keep people out, want to make sure my ports are closed and according to reddit I need to make sure that no one has persistence on my machine. When would you like to do my interview?”
“Well how about, in between sessions today. Would that work for you or do you need to focus?”
“No, that would be fine with me. It’ll keep me out of my head so that would actually be perfect. I have a tendency to overthink things, like hacking. I could just bring my computer to Perfect Purchase and have them clean it, but if I do that I haven’t learned anything from the experience. If I was the cause of why I was hacked, it’ll just happen again. But if I can figure out how it happened, then maybe I can prevent it from happening again."
“Yes that’s very smart, best practices as looked at through the lens of the person trying to break into your machine. Most people lock the door but leave the window wide open, many times out of convenience sake. If you really want to be proactive you have to commit to some friction in your workflow. Many people just won’t commit to that type of inconvenience for the long term.”
We reached the bus and Pappy sat at the wheel, as if he were driving. Phoebe sat out front at her calligraphy table, waiting for a customer at just after ten on a Sunday she may have to wait for a while. I said hello to them both and asked Pappy where the computer books were. He was about to stand up and help me find it, but I wanted an excuse to browse and this was it. The computer section was the last section of the bookcase on the passenger side. It didn’t take long to find the fifty dollar book. I handed it to Danyl and he went and paid Pappy.
“Let’s see, that'll be five bucks,” said Pappy.
Danyl took out his wallet and handed Pappy the money.
“I’ll see you in between baking sessions, Laura, thanks for the help.”
“My pleasure, Danyl, see you soon.”
