The rest of the night passed uneventfully and Herman enjoyed a restful and dreamless repose from the worries of the previous day.

  Eventually, the morning sun began to slowly creep on the horizon. The cubical sun rose from behind the internet skyscrapers in the distance, giving them an ethereal otherworldly look.

  At the same time, a few of the digital light beams rudely intruded on the man’s sanctuary. Barging right through his second story room window and landing directly at his face. The disruption to the man’s rest did not remain unnoticed. With a sleepy grimace and incomprehensible mumbles, he shifted in bed, turning his back to the radiant intruder.

  With that small personal victory out of the way, the half asleep man sighed with satisfaction. Eagerly letting himself be taken away by the warm embrace of slumber once again…

  "Bzzzzt."

  "Mrgrghhh." The man grunted, ineffectually swatting at the air above his head in order to chase away this new disturbance.

  And for a while, peace and order was once again restored. The calm relaxing atmosphere returning to the room.

  …

  BZZZT!

  SLAP!

  "GAH!"

  Herman awoke with a scream. The loud instinctual smack his body had inflicted on his face doing its job to deter any further attacks from the winged interloper. Though with the added downside of ruining its owner’s sleep.

  For a moment Herman wondered where he was. The small but cozy room interior seeming entirely dissimilar to his medical bed at the retirement home. Then everything came back to him. His death, the vindictive government AI, meeting his son and then being transported here. Encountering the Fatman as well as Topo and Staple.

  After his thoughts sorted themselves out he rose up and sat on the edge of his bed, absently rubbing his face with one hand.

  "What on Gaben’s name is going on over there? Do all humans scream when they wake up? Must be quite inconveniencing to the neighbors. Well anyhow, I am not one to judge, everyone has their own morning routines.” The chatty paper slip lying on the table rambled on.

  Screaming? Did he had a nightmare or something? Herman wondered. He usually forgot everything about his dreams the moment he awoke. Still, he did have weird recollections of … dinosaurs? And, "Life finds a way"? He quickly shook his head and dismissed those silly thoughts.

  "Good morning to you too Slippy."

  “Morning human, morning morning!” The paper slip happily chirped.

  "You sure are energetic today. Also you can call me Herman."

  "Indeed I am, human Herman. Today is a bright new day for adventure! What are we going to do today? Fight more fat people? Climb over the wall? Challenge the barbarian internet hordes?"

  "Woah woah, slow down there. I think yesterday gave you the wrong impression of me. I am not some adventure maniac or adrenaline junkie seeking his next fix. All that is for the young. Yes I want to challenge myself, after all, what is life without a challenge. But I am going to do it on my own terms. And currently that means fishing. Also, just Herman is fine."

  "Just human Herman, that sounds boring. If we were in a movie or a book nobody would want to waste their time with such a boring hero. Come on, live a little. I am sure there are more fat people with goatees to defeat in the queue!" The paper slip said with an evil glint in his digital eyes.

  "Sigh…" Herman exclaimed, shaking his head with frustration. Next, he placed his signature grandpa glasses on. The thick black frames giving him somewhat of a old fashioned mad scientist appearance.

  "You know, I am not exactly the embodiment of physical fitness myself. I have a not so insignifican't belly, I am bald, and I have a short gray beard. Looks alone, do not determine how someone behaves.” The old man sagely explained, trying to impart some wisdom to his young charge.

  After the words of wisdom entered through one end of Slippy’s earss and swiftly departed from the other, the old man stood up and picked his chatty companion off the table and placed him in the front pocket of his shirt. Positioning him so his digital face and eyes poked out.

  "There, how is that? Now you have a front row seat to observe my boring misadventures."

  "Excellent. Onward my steed!" Slippy commanded, his digital screen conjuring a pixel like cowboy hat atop his head.

  ___

  "Oh hey, you. You’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that gang’s ambush." A female mechanoid said, as if testing the receiver of the words with this old and obscure cipher.

  Herman froze mid step on the stairs leading to the Inn’s ground floor. Blinking a few times and assimilating the sacred words directed at him.

  This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

  "Hey, I understood that reference! Staple, I didn't know you were into ancient games." The man said excitedly, hurrying down the stairs and sitting at the bar opposite of the mechanoid.

  "You are definitely one of the oldest people to pass around here. I thought that if anyone would be familiar with my hobby, it would probably be you." The mechanoid smiled, placing two cardboard boxes with fresh mumbo juice on the counter. One for the man and another for his chatty companion.

  "Familiar? Oh, I am more than familiar!" The human replied with barely concealed excitement. "You had to see my collection back in the day. I had all the classics: Skyram, Starhammer, Moondew Valley, the works. I had each of them encased in physical case format and neatly positioned in a dedicated shelf. They were all originals at that! Not the garbage we have now."

  "That’s cool as hell! Also I totally get you about the last part." Staple continued with fire in her eyes. "Today’s games, even if sharing the same names, have nothing to do with the originals. There have been so many remakes, mods, and remastered editions that the first versions have been completely lost to time."

  "Exactly!" Herman said, his palm hitting the counter for emphasis. "Man, if I could only show you my collection… It is such a shame it got eaten by the nano swarms. I suppose the rest of the planet got eaten as well, but still…"

  "In any case, I did make a backup! A hermetically sealed tube made out of plasteel alloy. Water, EMP, radiation and most importantly nanobot proofed. It contained a data drive filled with my entire collection of games, books, movies and other obscure media and files."

  "I carried the damn thing on a piece of string around my neck for decades. Whole empires collapsed, billions of people perished, everyone nuking each other to oblivion while entire continents were slowly being devoured by tiny machines. And through all that, where I went, so did the data cylinder. The treasure trove inside patiently awaiting to once again see the light of day.“

  "Heh, my son kept joking that I was turning into Gholom." The man chuckled, shaking his head with amusement.

  "That’s so fascinating! And what happened next?" Staple urged with unrestrained curiosity.

  "Well… Once Escaldia was formed and civilization re-established. Me and my son opened the cylinder at our nano tinker shop. We organized a whole celebration and everything. It was a huge event for both of us. We had carried that thing for the entirety of the second dark age, and somehow managed to stay alive to preserve it. Once we opened it though…" Herman visibly shuttered at the resurfacing memories.

  "What? What happened? You can't stop now." The impatient bot urged, her metal hands twitching this way and that with frustration.

  "Well, let's say that we didn't expect what was inside… When I initially sealed the container, I had prepared to protect it from all possible outside harm. Extra shielding, fancy alloys that would break any nanoid’s teeth if they tryed chewing through it, and so on.

  What I had failed to consider though, is that before I sealed it, something had already managed to sneak inside. So imagine our surprise when instead of the precious data drive, a swarm of crazed, starved nanoids burst out."

  "Oh no!" The bot gasped with shock.

  "Oh yes…” Herman replied with a grim smile. “The tiny critters weren't stupid either. They had decades to contemplate what to do once they escaped. They immediately tried to disperse in all directions, consuming and assimilating everything they touched. Though their real goal was the air vents. Once they get to them they could go practically anywhere. Thankfully though, by some sheer luck we had chosen to open Pandora's box inside the nano tinker shop. So we were somewhat prepared for such situations."

  "Long story short: The subsequent EMP blasts, radiation rays and gravitational waves nearly destroyed our shop. Not to mention reeking havoc on the Escaldian techno grid. The military encased our shop inside a force bubble for 2 months. At the end they decided not to risk it and implode us to oblivion. At which point my son threatened to… amm… negotiated our eventual release."

  "And that, is the story of how my media collection got destroyed. As well as how the single standing human settlement at the time risked total destruction. All because of a single foolish old gamer.”

  Herman concluded the story with a nostalgic voice full with regret. Though Staple was unsure if the regret was more for nearly destroying humanity or rather for the lost data drive.

  "Sigh… I sure do miss Space Trek…" Herman lamented, making his priorities clear.

  "Woow…" Staple whispered in awe, elbows on the counter, four hands gently cradling her head. Acting in a manner not so dissimilar than a granddaughter listening to her old grandpa’s stories.

  …

  "Herman, are you trying to enchant my impressionable wife again? I thought we talked about this already." Chief guardsman Topo said with a joking tone. The bot held the backside door open with one leg as he carried a case of bottles towards the bar.

  "Pha! So that is why I haven’t seen anyone else here besides you two. I bet you are scaring away every customer daring to speak to your beautiful wife." The human retorted.

  "Hey husband, did you know that Herman here was the one responsible for the great Escaldian blackout of 87th?"

  "Huh, I thought it was a solar flare or something. Though the rumors kept mutating, so it might as well have been a pink magical unicorn sneezing over Antarctica." The border guard responded as he placed the crate behind the counter.

  "Nope, the whole thing was actually a …" Suddenly Staple froze mid sentence. Tilting her head to the side as if looking at something only she could see. "Customers!" She urgently whispered.

  “Right, I won’t stay in your way then. I have to get back to the gates anyway.” With that, Topo quickly kissed Staple, then waved both her and Herman a goodbye before rushing through the inn’s back door.

  "Ok, sorry Herman, but I have to go and prepare something in the kitchen before the humans arrive. Come back later, I want to continue our conversation. I might not have anywhere near your lost media collection. But me and Topo had managed to scavenge allot of PC games and even some movies during the time we were war mecs."

  And with that, Staple rushed away for the kitchen, from where the distinct signs of cooking could be loudly heard.

  Meanwhile Herman shivered at the thought of what was about to befall him.

  He briefly considered following Topo and fleeing through the back door, but quickly dismissed the idea. He dreaded facing this particular opponent, yet he refused to yield against the challenge, no matter how intimidating it seemed.

  So instead of running, he closed his eyes, drew a deep breath, and began to mentally prepare himself for the approaching mob.