We didn’t walk long before I got my wish. A roaming pack of squid-dogs found us just minutes after we had set off. The turret mowed them down as they approached; they never even got close. Cascadia was a little annoyed but I thought it was a good thing.

  “I need to catch up! You are already level five after dealing with those enforcement officers.”

  “Maybe, but I need to practice.”

  We eventually agreed that I would leave at least one mob for her, though my method for doing so was clumsy. I had no direct control over the turret and my robotics skill was not high enough to allow for a more sophisticated program. I was limited to using the tiny interface screen on the turret to select options like, target nearest red tagged mob, or target nearest crawler. I would have to set the turret, stay nearby it, and deactivate it before the mobs were all dead. Now that our inventories were open the mobs dropped loot, but it was just weird animal parts, which I ignored.

  We set off again in search of more mobs. Cascadia suddenly stopped and handed me her light disruptor pistol.

  “Try to shoot me in the leg.”

  I just looked at her.

  “I have a personal shield generator.” She pointed to one of the slots on her belt where she had installed the device. “I need to see how it works.”

  I inspected the device

  Personal Shield Generator

  This basic shield provides protection without interfering with aesthetics. Effective against most energy weapons and high speed projectiles. Requires power source.

  “Did you install a power source?”

  “You mean one of these.” She held up a small battery cell.

  Rechargeable Universal Battery - Small

  This is the smallest member of the universal battery family. Compatible with most power consuming and power producing devices.

  “Yeah I put one in. It said “shield active” and I have a shield health bar in my interface.”

  I pointed the gun at Cascadia's lower leg and pulled the trigger. A violent yellow bolt stopped a hand's width away from her leg and dissipated outwards.

  “Hm. Now try to punch me.”

  “I’m not really a hand to hand fighter…”

  “Just do it Gel.”

  I curled my hand into a fist and threw a weak punch to her midsection. I felt no interference from the shield as my fist connected with what felt like a plank of ironwood. I smiled lamely.

  “Maybe you should hold on to the pistol. It’s not really my style anyway. Ok, I’m going to lower my shield, then shoot me in the leg again.”

  “I’m…not going to shoot you.”

  “Yes you are. Or you can stab me if you prefer. I need to understand how this healing works.”

  “Jasper explained how it works. He even had us try using one of the injectors.”

  “Yeah, but I was barely hurt then. I need to understand how this is going to work in combat. What it feels like. How fast it will work. It doesn’t matter while we are fighting these weak-ass tentacle things, but it will when we actually face something dangerous. I don’t want to figure it out on the fly. And you shouldn’t either. I’ll probably be more in the mix than you but you still might get hurt.”

  Now that I had gotten the speeder back and we had put a little distance between ourselves and the huge group, I was feeling a little less pressed and could think better.

  “These squid-dogs seem to be roving randomly. I don’t want to get caught at low health. How about we put a little more distance between ourselves and that large group and find a safe room. You must have some boxes to open, and I have some things to do too. Then we can experiment next to the safe room and plan our next steps.”

  “Fair enough.”

  We traveled for a time down the corridor and Cascadia practiced skidding around with her friction manipulation skill, which had risen to level two. It took a little energy but it allowed her to increase or decrease the friction of her body and any equipped items. I didn’t really understand why but she said that because she could increase friction she could throw and hit harder and even jump higher. Higher skill levels would increase the efficiency of energy usage and allow for larger increases or decreases in friction.

  The corridor went on. There were bends and corners but never any forks or intersections. That seemed odd to me.

  The next group of mobs we found were still cephalopod hybrids, but acted very differently from previous mobs. It was a pair of squid-monkeys, just standing in the middle of the corridor.

  “Let me do these ones,” Cascadia said sharply.

  As soon as they spotted us one charged, trident raised, and the other took off running the other way. Cascadia engaged the first one, meeting his trident with an axe swing. It shattered the trident and she let the momentum pull her into an absolutely gratuitous spin, ending in a decapitating slice. She didn’t even break stride as she began pursuit of the fleeing mob. I tried to keep up as I checked the mini-map. The mob was heading straight towards a dead end with a safe room; something was wrong.

  “Wait,” I tried to yell, out of breath, as Cascadia threw her Bolas, dropping the fleeing figure.

  “Wait!” I gasped again but there was no stopping Cascadia now. I lurched after her, vowing to put some points into constitution the first chance I got.

  The red dots appeared on the map right as Cascadia reached the fallen mob. It was four wolf-like creatures that sprang out of some sort of den. Still in stride Cascadia kicked a stabbing trident aside and slashed down on the fallen squid-monkey, killing it. As she and the new mobs charged each other I threw out my turret. A mob tooltip popped up as the turret fell into place.

  Wolf-Squid. Level 5.

  This is a much bigger, much sturdier, much scarier cousin to the squid-dog. It has thick fur instead of soft skin and a toothy mouth instead of a beak, but it still has tentacles. 6 of them! So don’t let them get a hold of you. They are often used to guard nests of more sophisticated cephalopods.

  The turret started firing as Cascadia reached the wolves. Unfortunately she was in between my turret and the closest wolf. The turret started blasting her, trying to get through her to the wolf. It overwhelmed her shield, hitting her in the leg as she tried to leap over the wolves, knocking her off balance. Two of the wolves were on her in a snap, wrapping her in their tentacle arms. The other two zeroed in on me, crawl-hopping towards me at a frightening pace. I saw Cascadia ram her psi-blade into the mouth of one wolf while holding the other off with her forearm as I shakily pulled the disruptor pistol from my pocket. The turret was ripping apart one of the squid-wolves but they weren’t slowing down. I tried to aim my pistol but my hands were shaking. I emptied the power pack with six shots in rapid succession but they all went wide. One wolf finally dropped to turret fire but the other one was almost on me. The turret switched targets, but it wouldn’t be enough. I crouched down, covering my face, and hoped the turret would finish off the wolf before the wolf finished me off. I swore again to add points to constitution if I lived through this.

  Cascadia made sure I would. She glowed a gentle blue as she activated her friction manipulation skill and slid out of grasping tentacles. Arm torn to shreds, she pinned the wolf’s head down and spiked him in the brain before dashing in my direction. She threw herself into a slide, skimming past the squid monkey's body and snatching up his trident. Still sliding she pushed herself up and then glowed orange, becoming unnaturally sticky and slamming a foot down. She jerked to a stop, transferring all of her momentum into the trident as she hurled it. It shot like a missile through the air, skewering the squid through the spine just as it reached me, pinning it to the ground. The tentacles writhed and gripped at me, dragging me down as electricity from the trident coursed through its body. A few seconds later, the squid was dead and my turret stopped firing. I was able to extricate myself from the still thrashing tentacles; my health bar had gone down just a sliver from the second hand electric shock. I used an injector anyway.

  The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

  Cascadia walked up and looked down at me.

  “You’re bleeding,” I said. She had blood streaming from a bullet wound in her calf and from the bite damage on her forearm.

  “So I am.”

  “Your jet-injectors not working?”

  “I haven’t tried them yet. I’m trying to understand the healing rate. It is absurdly accelerated, I can actually feel my body repairing itself. I bet I would be fully healed in a matter of hours. It feels incredible.”

  “Looks like it feels painful.”

  She looked at me disapprovingly, but she did take out an injector and examine it before pressing it to her arm and activating it. Her open wounds immediately knitted themselves closed. Her eyes opened wide.

  “Amazing.”

  She then turned a set of narrowed eyes back to me.

  “You shot me Gel.”

  “Hey, you told me to.”

  “You’re stupid.” She reached her hand out and helped me to my feet. “Is this going to be a problem? It’s powerful, but you have almost no control over that thing. If it weren’t for my shield, I might be dead right now.”

  “No,” I said grimly. “No it won’t. I’ll deal with it. Let’s just get to that safe room over there.”

  The safe room was at the end of the corridor, which ended abruptly in a den or nest or something. It was filled with fist sized white spheres.

  Cephalopod Egg

  This egg harbors a cephalopod-hybrid creature. What kind? Who knows!? What makes them hatch? Who knows?! Does it matter? Probably not, unless you are an aspiring squid farmer. Should not be eaten without proper processing.

  Cascadia picked up a few and pulled out her advanced mold-aging box.

  Advanced Mold-Aging Box

  This box has over 10,000 different mold varietals inside of it. Will automatically select the best molds for any edible item you place inside. After an eligible item is placed inside, the box will lock until optimum state has been reached.

  I hadn’t seen anything like this in any of the seasons I’d watched and had no idea what to make of it.

  “You ever eaten anything mold aged?” she asked.

  “No, that’s disgusting.”

  “You ever eat a squid egg?”

  “No, that’s disgusting.”

  “Maybe it’s an alien thing.”

  She placed the eggs in the box and it sealed shut with a beep. An indicator light on the top turned yellow. She pulled it into her inventory and we walked into the safe room. The safe room was a plain one with just a vending machine, some sleeping cots, a viewing screen, and restrooms. There were no NPC attendants and no other crawlers.

  I pulled an item from my inventory.

  Operator’s Brain Spike

  This item provides a direct neural interface for remote control. Must be installed in the most significant central nervous tissue mass. This spike is self-aligning and will automatically migrate to the correct position once it has been adequately inserted. Medical supervision recommended, but not required. Provides a +5 bonus to intelligence

  “Ok, that seems a little intense, even for me.”

  “Yeah….I was hoping to find a surgeon or at least some anesthetic or something, but I don’t think we can wait. I’ll just be dead weight without this.”

  “I can carry you.”

  “No, you can’t. This is just the first floor, we have to make it through at least ten floors. Look at the screen, it’s only been two hours and over five million people have died. We need to get as powerful as possible.”

  “Holy shit. Good thing my sense of empathy has been eroded to easily ignorable background noise. OK, that makes sense. Do you want help? You can just close your eyes and I’ll take care of it.”

  “….No, no I need to do it. Remember Jasper said you can’t attack another crawler in a safe room.”

  “Jasper didn’t say anything about other crawlers Gel.”

  “….”

  “Don’t be an idiot, we can just go outside and do it if you are worried about the safe room.”

  What I couldn’t tell her was that I was pretty sure there was an achievement I would only get if I installed it myself. I would still rather have it done by a reaper spider surgeon, but they typically didn’t show up till the much later floors. And if I couldn’t have that, I might as well do it myself and guarantee the achievement.

  “No. Look, if I can’t handle this, there is no way I’m going to be able to survive here. I need to do this.”

  Cascadia shook her head but stepped back. My breaths were quick and shallow as I held the spike in my hands. I had seen a few crawlers try this, with varying degrees of success. Best I could tell, the ten centimeter spike needed to make it at least halfway into the brain and then the item would take care of the rest. I pulled out a larger drone and weighted it heavily with some miscellaneous items I had brought into the dungeon. I then stuck a mound of clay on the bottom and inserted the needle-like spike into it. Holding it halfway off the table, so as not to disturb the spike, I activated the drone and piloted it into the air.

  I laid down on the floor and positioned the drone above my head, my breaths growing even more rapid. I thought of all the gruesome, horrific deaths I’d seen on dungeon crawler word. The hopeless, excruciatingly painful deaths. And I thought of all of the glorious exits, the crawlers who had made it in the galaxy, working as hosts for intergalactic shows.

  I brought the drone down, positioning the spike right next to the inner corner of my eye and tilting my head so the spike pointed to the center of my brain. It seemed I could already feel it touching my eye and I tried not to blink. I took a last short gasp and clenched tightly, holding my breath. I spent my final thoughts on Cascadia, the only person in the world I truly cared for. My little sister, who had been with me for as long as I could remember. She had been taking care of me more than the other way around lately, but it hadn’t always been so. I thought of us holding each other, when there was no one else in the world who knew our names. I thought of the look on her face when I would bring back food I had successfully scavenged. And I thought of her tears when I had failed. I thought about what she had put herself through to become what she was today and I thought about all the times that she could have left me but didn’t.

  I let out my breath in a strangled scream as I killed the drone motor. The drone dropped like a stone, driving the spike through my eye socket, deep into my brain. The pain was beyond description. Unable to even scream I let out a hacking grunt as I rolled, sliding the drone off of my face and convulsing. My health bar plummeted but stabilized immediately at around fifteen percent. Cascadia rushed to me, rolling me over and placing an injector against my arm, activating it. My health bar began to rise.

  I started screaming as I felt my eye socket repair while the spike wiggled deeper into my brain, finding the correct placement. I activated another healtech injector, which did absolutely nothing because my cooldown was over two minutes thanks to my pathetic constitution. I vomited as I felt my brain tissue heal around the spike. I activated my healing burst ability and the healing accelerated.The pain only lasted about twenty seconds before the miraculous healing technology did its work. I was still in the yellow but the worst was over.

  I sat up, breathing hard, a small amount of blood dripping down my face.

  “Fucking metal,” was all Cascadia said.

  When the system AI read off my achievement it was less sarcastic, less bored than usual, almost impressed.

  New Achievement. Self Surgery.

  Cybernetic enhancements are common in the dungeon. Even neural implants, many crawlers get. But not many crawlers have the stones to install them themselves. You did. And you did it with a remote operated drone. That’s determination. That’s commitment. And your commitment will be rewarded. Normally crawlers get a cybernetics box for this achievement, but you’ve made it clear what you want. You earned this one.

  Reward?! You’ve received a platinum remote operator box!

  Excellent. I stood up, looking to brush myself off, but I gave up remembering that I was still covered in squid. I needed an apparel box. I looked around, taking in the room with my new intelligence, which had more than doubled. I didn’t feel like a super genius, but I could tell certain processes were happening faster in my brain.

  I opened up my box right away and Cascadia did likewise with her savage box. A beautiful gold and black drone appeared. Instead of propellers it had four mini-repulsors on tracked swivel joints that could move to either side of the drone. Camera domes extended from top and bottom, granting 360 degree vision.

  Premium All-Purpose Drone

  This bad boy puts all those other toys you brought into the dungeon to shame. This is real, top-tier dungeon tech right here. Reserved for the feistiest crawlers, this highly versatile drone is a coveted centerpiece for any remote operator's arsenal. Comes pre-equipped with integrated camera and self repair modules with space for up to 4 additional modules. Compatible with most controller interfaces.

  “What did you get?” I asked Cascadia.

  “Nothing much, just a fucked up coupon giving me some rewards if I kill you.”

  “Wow, that’s pretty messed up.”

  “Yeah.”

  The ensuing silence stretched a little longer than I was comfortable with.

  “So, are you feeling better?”

  “Oh yeah. Like nothing happened. Except I can control my turret with my mind now.”

  “Good. Look, if I’m going to do this dungeon, I’m going to do this dungeon. And if we are going to do it together, you need to get on my frequency. So let’s talk strategy and let’s talk schedule.”