Jian Xuan stiffened from Li Yu’s remark. “What about her? Is she sick? Is the knot you talked about before dangerous? Can we cut it out?”

  “The knot is you, you idiot,” Li Yu said. Li Yu didn’t have much experience when it came to romantic relationships but he did understand some things. He saw the love his mom and dad had for each other. He saw how they interacted and cared for one another.

  He’s seen many couples throughout the Green Mountain Sect and from all the other places he had visited. While the concept is still somewhat foreign to him, he still could see thing. He wasn’t blind after all.

  ‘They say that love is blind, it must mean that when you are in love you are the one that is blind. You can’t seem to see what the other person is doing. Even I am able to see it in the short time I am with the two of them. But why are they both fighting against it. Jian Xuan has already told me he liked her and she seems to be interested in him as well…’ Li Yu thought as he looked at Jian Xuan.

  Jian Xuan’s face turned bright red at Li Yu’s words. It was visible even in the dim light. “Me? What did I do? I’ve been respectful to her! I’ve been supportive of everything she’s wanted to do! I even gave her the best cuts of spirit meat when we had it!”

  Li Yu sighed. He remembered Hu Jian. He remembered the agony of the “will she, won’t she” phase that Hu Jian told him about after being told he was engaged.

  “Jian Xuan,” Li Yu said. “How long have you liked her?”

  Jian Xuan choked on air. “I… who said I… I mean, she is my Senior Sister! We are martial siblings! It is… improper! And she is refined! I am… well, look at me. I am a man who hits things with a sword...”

  “You already told me you liked her though. Oooooh I know now… You were drunk that night and probably said more than you meant too,” Li Yu said with a chuckle. “Everyone with eyes can see it. You look at her like she’s a Limited Edition Golden Shell Crab.”

  Jian Xuan slumped against a tree. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Yes. Does she know? You said you were going to tell her when you met. Clearly you haven’t yet.” Li Yu responded.

  “No!” Jian Xuan whispered frantically. “I can’t tell her! She has been stuck in her cultivation for a century. She is stressed. If I tell her and she rejects me, it will ruin everything. It will destroy our harmony and friendship! I cannot add to her burdens.”

  Li Yu shook his head. “You know, a young boy, me, once got advice from another wise person, Hu Jian. We stress over rejection. We build walls because we are afraid. But usually, the walls are made of paper.”

  Li Yu looked back at the fire. Lin Xia was watching them. She looked worried as she looked at the two of them.

  “She’s been stuck for a hundred years,” Li Yu said. “Maybe she’s waiting for something. Maybe she thinks you only see her as a Senior Sister. Maybe she thinks you only care about crabs now too. Think about your breakthrough from 2nd stage to 4th stage. You said to me afterwards that you were not true to yourself and how you were.”

  “What if it is the same for your Lin Xia? What if she also had feelings for you this entire time but due to the same reasons you had. The fear of destroying the harmony and friendship between the two of you. Perhaps the fear of any taboos or perhaps your master rejecting the union. She couldn’t express her true feelings either this entire time. Maybe because she was stopping herself there, stopping herself from being who she wants to be, she was also stopping herself from taking that next step to Soul Formation… That’s my idea at least.” Li Yu concluded.

  Jian Xuan’s eyes widened. “That’s… I never thought of it that way.”

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  “Think about it,” Li Yu pressed. “Her soul is strong. That means her emotions, her will is also strong. If she has a regret or a longing that deep, it can possibly block ascension. If you love her, tell her. If she rejects you, fine. You’re a cultivator. You’ll live to see tomorrow. But if you don’t tell her, you might be the reason she stays stuck in Core Formation until she dies of old age.”

  That hit Jian Xuan like a physical blow. The color drained from his face.

  “I… I could be hurting her? We were hurting each other by not being true to ourselves?”

  “Indecision can be a poison,” Li Yu said. “Go. Do it now. Before Kael comes back and ruins the mood with blood on his hands.”

  Jian Xuan took a deep breath. He puffed out his chest. His aura surged and exploded outwards but was contained by the void barrier Li Yu had set up. He looked like he was about to charge into a horde of demons.

  “You are right, Brother Li. The Way of the Crab is to move forward… sideways… you know what I mean! With claws raised! I cannot hide in my shell forever! I must face the tide!” Jian Xuan shouted while patting his own chest.

  Jian Xuan turned and marched back to the fire.

  Li Yu stayed back and found a tree to lean against. He crossed his arms and pretended to inspect the bark but his spiritual sense was fully extended. He wasn't going to miss this. He knew he shouldn’t but he was much too curious to stop.

  Jian Xuan stopped in front of the fire. Krell had left to go somewhere else. He felt awkward being alone with Lin Xia and didn’t know what to say to her.

  Jian Xuan loomed over Lin Xia as he got closer and was casting a long shadow.

  “Junior Brother?” Lin Xia asked as she looked up. “Is everything alright? What did Fellow Daoist Li say? Is my condition critical? Is there a solution?”

  Jian Xuan gripped the hilt of his sword which was currently strapped to his waist. It was as if he needed to hold his weapon for additional courage. Then he let it go.

  “Senior Sister,” Jian Xuan said. His voice was extremely loud for a conversation with someone so close. It was booming through the quiet valley. “I have something to say. Something I should have said a long time ago.”

  Lin Xia put down her tea cup. Her hands were trembling slightly. “Yes?”

  Jian Xuan took a breath that sounded like a bellows.

  “I… I do not just see you as my Senior Sister.”

  The silence in the clearing was absolute. Even the night insects and wind seemed to pause.

  “I have admired you for a long time,” Jian Xuan continued. The words were tumbling out now that the dam had broken. “You helped teach me how to hold a sword. You bandaged my hands when I cut myself. You listened to me talk about my goals and dreams.”

  Jian Xuan looked her in the eyes. His rugged face was burning but he didn't look away. He was able to find the courage from places he didn’t know existed.

  “You are the moon in my sky, Xia. You are the pearl in the ocean. I don’t just respect you. I… I like you. A lot. I probably love you...”

  Lin Xia sat frozen. Her mouth opened slightly but no sound came out. Jian Xuan wasn’t done. He was committed now. Once Jian Xuan was committed, there was no stopping him. The Crab Cult was proof of that.

  “I have loved you for a long time,” Jian Xuan said, his voice dropping to a softer and more vulnerable register that seemed at odds with his giant frame. “I have loved you for one hundred and seventeen years… and seventy-two days…”

  Li Yu, who was eavesdropping from the tree line nearly tripped over a root at those words.

  ‘One hundred and seventeen years and seventy-two days?’ Li Yu thought, completely stunned. ‘He knows the exact count? That’s… terrifyingly romantic. Or just obsessive? No, that is mostly romantic.’ Li Yu thought while taking mental notes.

  Lin Xia stared at him. Her eyes were wide. They were reflecting the firelight and the earnest face of the man standing before her.

  “One hundred…” she whispered. “And seventeen years?”

  “And seventy-two days,” Jian Xuan confirmed. “Since the day you gave me that rice ball when I was starving in the rain during the monsoon season. I started counting then.”

  He stood straight with his hands hanging by his sides. He was completely vulnerable and open. Physically and mentally.

  “I know I am rough. I know I am not the refined cultivator you deserve. But I had to tell you. Because Brother Li said… he said I might be the reason you are stuck. And I would rather die than be the rock in your path.”

  Jian Xuan closed his eyes as if he was bracing himself for an impact. Waiting for the polite rejection. Waiting for the laughter. Waiting for anything at all. Nothing came. Only silence which was probably the worse thing of all for him.

  The wind began to rustle the pine needles.

  Lin Xia slowly stood up.