The only encounter Heron ever had with a cow was when he was in elementary school and his class went on a field trip to a farm where they got to gawk at chickens, ‘baa’ at the sheep, and take observational notes on the animals. He’d stared at the cow and it had stared right back. Then it sneezed on him.

  Yes, Heron was not experienced with cows, let alone catching one and milking it.

  Yet here he was with a dragon-rabbit in one hand, and a lasso in another. Approaching the cow like it was a boss battle as they faced one another off like they were about to draw a weapon and blast at one another. A gust of wind blew by and goosebumps ran up Heron’s arm as he swallowed once, staring down the little blotchy beast. But the cow wasn’t having any of it as it casually approached the pile of carrots that Heron had summoned, and began chowing down right away.

  So much for a battle climax.

  Don’t be fooled, it's waiting for the opportunity to bite our heads off.

  That probably wasn’t the little cow’s plan but Heron wasn’t going to tell the dragon otherwise.

  I don’t take ‘probably’ as an answer. Mark my words, mortal.

  “If you say so.” Heron grinned as he whispered, setting the rabbit down. It hopped away—far, far away so that it could watch from a distance, peeking from behind the boulder with narrowed eyes.

  Crunch, crunch.

  The sound rippled through the air as Heron walked closer to the cow, and soon enough was close enough to touch. The cow continued to snarf away as it ate the carrots with happy munching noises, seemingly agreeable with the situation. Reaching out with his hand, Heron’s finger brushed the smooth hair near the cow’s spine, giving it soothing pats.

  Don’t say I didn’t warn you when it bites your fingers off.

  The dragon-rabbit was awfully chatty in Heron’s head as he grinned sheepishly. It was a strange cow with a constant, unflinching smile, but it still seemed normal. He wasn’t worried about the aggression that the rabbit kept warning him about. Carefully, he undid the knot in his rope and looped it around the beast. It didn’t seem to mind as it continued to crunch on the carrots.

  [ +1 Captured Cow ]

  Heron cleared his throat, letting out a small huff of triumph. He had managed to catch (?) the cow but nothing had really changed. He didn’t have anything ready for the creature. No shelter, no pen, no trough, no bed, nothing at all. And the whole reason why he had wanted a cow was for the milk. Blinking, a concern clicked in Heron’s mind.

  Do cows in another world even produce the milk that Heron was familiar with from his previous life?

  They had taken a cow from its family, its homeland, and he didn’t even know if it could make milk. It looked like a cow, had the body parts of a cow, and smelled like a cow. But was it really a cow? Now he had to find out if he just cow-napped a cow that wasn’t a cow and basically committed cow-trafficking across intergalactic worlds.

  Time to test the theory.

  Having set up a wooden post and tying the rope to it, Heron was ready to start milking.

  The cow was grinning ear to ear as it stood with perfect behavior and posture as Heron sat on a wooden stool next to it. He’d since put his clothes on, having learned his lesson from the previous day that anything could happen at any given notice and he would’ve been in trouble if the dragon had decided to take him to an ice planet instead. Not that his office clothes could save him but at least he could die with dignity and not half naked.

  “Alright, Melvin. Let’s see if you’re a real one.” Heron rolled his sleeve up as the cow mooed in response.

  Yes, Melvin was a girl cow. Heron was fond of giving things names.

  With a wooden pail below, he was ready to milk the cow. But goodness did he not know how. How he wished he had watched cow milking videos instead of National Geographic on the mating dances of birds. Turns out that would’ve only been useful information had he been isekai’d as a male bird. Or a female bird for that matter. Regardless, Heron had no idea what the hell he was doing and was just going to start squeezing.

  Minutes passed. Teats squeezed. Cow mooed. Heron blinked.

  Nothing.

  Absolutely nothing.

  Was he doing it wrong? Was he somehow squeezing the wrong things?? Surely this wasn’t a boy cow???

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  Where the milk at, peasant?

  “I’m trying, Melvin’s trying!” Heron gritted his teeth as he alternated his tugs. Melvin just swished her tail in annoyance.

  Withdrawing his hand from assaulting Melvin’s glands, Heron sighed as he stared up at the sky as if it had done him dirty. There was no milk and he didn’t understand why. There had to be a simple explanation, whether it was that the cow was not a cow or that he was doing the entire procedure incorrectly.

  Human, I demand you explain what milk is.

  Heron was not a violent man but he was ready to knock the rabbit out—it’d been berating him for who knows how long within the past two days and Heron’s mind was ready to throw hands. It was one thing to hear nagging from his shady company boss in his previous life, it was another to have a voice in his head every minute of the day whether it was incoherent noises or constant demands that made his left eye twitch. Even a man as patient as Heron had a limit of where he would start needing to do breathing exercises.

  Sighing, Heron began to explain, “Milk is a highly nutritious liquid that is produced from an animal when they have young ones to feed—“

  Oh. Of course. That’s what was probably missing.

  “This cow isn’t pregnant.”

  Pregnant?

  “Pregnant.” Heron echoed as he stared at the cow.

  Okay, how do we make it pregnant—

  “We’re not going to make the cow pregnant, Lord Bun.” Heron cut the dragon-rabbit off as he inhaled sharply.

  Nope, nope, nope. Heron was not going to explain to the dragon-rabbit how cow pregnancy worked. But now that posed the real problem of how they were going to get milk if the cow wasn’t able to produce any.

  Theoretically, they could return to Moo-Moo Land and capture a small bull. With both the cow and bull being small and on the younger side, they’d have quite the longevity of being able to reproduce and make even more small cows. But then that posed another problem—if Heron wanted to suffer from success—which would make the tiny planet overrun with cattle and then it would just become Moo-Moo Land 2.0 and Heron wasn’t sure if that was a good idea.

  Methane produced from cow poop could pose a problem since this was a small planet and Heron did not want to get gassed by that. While it would take many years for it to become a problem, Heron also wasn’t sure how long the reproduction cycle was for these cows from another world. What if they could pop out an offspring faster than he could slay them? Getting methane’d and losing to a herd of cows sounded like a poor way to go and the isekai god would probably laugh if that was what ended Heron’s second life.

  Besides unrestricted reproduction, was there any other way that Heron could obtain milk without committing cow genocide further down the road?

  Tapping his foot as he thought, Heron thought back to what he had learned over the past few months of living in this world. He was able to summon and create objects and things depending on the item and process complexity. He was also able to obtain materials from preexisting objects like getting wood from a tree. He could meld things together as long as he could envision how he wanted it to be built together. And while he still didn’t know the complete set of rules, it was still enough to go off of when it came to most problems that required magic to solve.

  And in this case, Heron wondered if just having the cow was enough. It had the reproductive system for producing milk. So perhaps if he just coaxed it out…

  Grabbing the teats once more, Heron applied his understanding of magic to the production of milk. It wasn’t like he could see the milk being created in his mind, but he hoped that just envisioning it would be enough. It wasn’t so simple as just seeing it in his mind, he had to trace back to the origin of how the milk would have come to be. From the start to the end, he envisioned the creation of milk to the best of his capabilities as he squeezed once, then twice.

  Still nothing.

  But Heron was determined to figure out if he could make it happen. And for the next hour, he did. Through the practice of his imagery and envisioning, Heron refined his process until he could see it clearly. With the thanks of Melvin’s patience—mostly due to the unlimited carrots she was being provided—and Lord Bun’s aggressive encouragement, Heron was finally able to do it. He milked the cow.

  With sweat dripping down his forehead, Heron felt a wave of the mighty accomplishment he had just achieved. Yes, there was one squirt of milk in his wooden pail. But it was something at least. He felt on top of the world, having somehow managed to produce milk from a virgin cow. He wasn’t going to question how that was possible, this magic was complete utter bull-crap. But it was doing incredible things for him.

  Huzzah for milk!

  Now bring me my offering, mortal. I demand milk.

  This wasn’t nearly enough for Heron’s purposes so he shushed the dragon-rabbit and continued to work. Eventually he would have enough milk in order to make the meal he had in mind.

  After many breads and soups, Heron had continued to work on Melvin while the dragon-rabbit had napped in the hut that Heron had made for it after stuffing itself with bread, soup, and grass.

  He didn’t have a large pail since there wasn’t any way for him to store the leftover milk. Without a fridge or pasteurization, Heron was certain that milk would be his fatality if he wasn’t careful. It was already bad enough that he was lactose intolerant but that didn’t stop Heron from enjoying life to the fullest. Sometimes, life is about having the runs while laughing about it.

  With the orange sky glowing above him as the sound of a bird cawed in the distance, Heron smiled as he looked at the pail of milk he had spent the whole day milking. Melvin was a real one for putting up with him the entire day. Giving the cow some pats, he summoned an apple that made his knees wobble as Melvin gobbled it up happily. Now that was a real grin once she was done.

  “Lord Bun, the milk is ready.” Heron called as he lifted the pail, bringing it over to the hut.

  Sleepy noises reverberated in Heron’s mind as he used a wooden spoon to scoop some of the milk into a wooden saucer. Kneeling down, he placed the offering in front of the rabbit’s hut and took a seat on the ground. Crossing his legs, Heron also prepared a cup of milk from the pail.

  “Cheers, Lord Bun.” Heron grinned as he toasted.

  The rabbit crawled out sleepily, plopping in front of the saucer with droopy eyes and ears. Sticking its tongue out, it licked the milk. Eyes widening, fur lifting, the rabbit snapped awake.

  MORE!!!

  Heron was thrilled that their milk mission had come to an end.

  From above the skies, farther than the atmosphere, into the darkness of the universe, a portal appeared by the tiny planet.

  Watching.

  Searching.

  Waiting.

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