Reinhardt closed his eyes, a small, satisfied smile playing on his lips as he felt the new neural pathways of Perfect Mind solidifying. The chaos of his memories organized themselves into a neat, searchable library, and the newfound knowledge of whisking eggs and kneading dough felt weirdly natural.
"Alright, Wifey," he thought warmly. "Merge the skills, tidy up the talent, and show me the status screen. Let's see what we're working with."
The screen flickered, displaying his current standing in this new life:
?? Host Status Panel
Name: Reinhardt Age: 5 Years Magic Level: Beginner (Path: Beginner < Intermediate < High Level < Aurora < Elite Aurora < Mage < Grandmage < Demi-God < God) Titles: * [Reborn]: Memories of a past life and resistance to soul manipulation. [Lady Killer]: Passive charm boost; +50% effectiveness on the opposite sex (and apparently, Systems). Talent: Perfect Mind (Ultra Rare) Skills: Cooking (Beginner), Baking (Beginner) Storage: £20,000, 200 Galleons, 10% Apple Tech Shares, Random Pokémon Ticket.
"Beginner, huh?" Reinhardt mused, looking at the magic scale. "A long way to go before I'm a God. But hey, it's only Day One."
He stretched his small limbs, feeling the cold air of the orphanage biting at his skin. This place was a dump, and he was officially done with it.
"Hey, Wifey? Let's leave this hellhole tomorrow," he whispered into the darkness. "I've got the cash and the brains now. And don't forget... I'm taking you on a date as soon as I can see your face. I bet you're stunning."
[D-Don't joke with me, Host!] the System's text bubbled rapidly. [Go to sleep! You have a busy day of 'not being a homeless orphan' tomorrow!]
"Goodnight, Wifey," Reinhardt chuckled, pulling the thin, scratchy blanket over his shoulders.
[...Goodnight, Host,] she replied softly.
?? In a Realm Beyond...
As the connection to Reinhardt's conscious mind dimmed into a "sleep mode," a figure materialized in a space made of starlight and flowing data.
She wasn't just a program. She was a Goddess, a literal cosmic entity who had grown bored of the eternal silence of the void. She had chosen to tether herself to this interesting soul—Reinhardt—as a way to pass the time. She had expected to be a cold, calculating guide.
She had not expected to be flirted with by a five-year-old with silver hair.
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Her face, radiant enough to blind a mortal, was currently dusted with a deep, unmistakable crimson blush. She touched her cheeks with slender, shimmering fingers and let out a long, shaky sigh.
"Take a Goddess on a date?" she whispered to herself, a small, playful smile tugging at her lips. "You certainly have a big mouth, Reinhardt. I can't wait to see the look on your face when you realize who you've been calling 'Wifey' all along."
She waved her hand, closing the terminal, but her eyes lingered on his sleeping image for just a moment longer.
The morning sun filtered through the grime-covered windows of the orphanage, hitting Reinhardt's silver hair and making it glow like a halo. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and yawning with such pure, accidental cuteness that the System's internal storage was suddenly filling up with dozens of "Secret_Cute_Host_01.png" files.
"Good morning, Wifey," Reinhardt mumbled sleepily.
[Good morning, Host,] the System replied, her voice a bit more cheerful than usual. [Host, you forgot to use your Pokémon ticket. Are you planning to let it gather dust?]
Reinhardt blinked, finally waking up. "I was thinking about it, but... if the Pokémon is bigger than this room, wouldn't it just crush the orphanage? I'm not ready to be a homeless terrorist yet."
[Host does not need to worry. The System includes a Dimension Storage—a vast world where creatures can live comfortably. I have prepared it just for you.]
"I'm so touched by your devotion to your husband, Wifey," Reinhardt teased, his silver eyes twinkling.
[...Just draw the lottery already, you shameless Host!] Reinhardt took a deep breath. "Alright, Wifey. Draw the lottery!"
The screen spun wildly. Gold and blue light swirled together until a massive, roar-like sound echoed in his mind.
[Ding! Random Pokémon Generated!]
[Congratulations, Host! You have obtained the Legendary Pokémon of Time: DIALGA!]
Reinhardt froze. He rubbed his eyes, then pinched his cheek. "Wifey... are you sure this isn't a dowry? You just gave me the ruler of Time. In a world of wizards, I basically just became the God of Chronomancy."
[Respect yourself, Host!] she squeaked, though she looked quite proud of the pull. [It was your luck!]
"Anything for you, Wifey. Can I see her?"
?? The Dimension Realm
With a flash of light, Reinhardt's consciousness was pulled into the Dimension Storage. He gasped. It wasn't just a "storage"; it was a breathtaking landscape of rolling green hills, sparkling blue lakes, and towering mountains.
"After our marriage, we're definitely coming here for the honeymoon, Wifey," Reinhardt whispered, looking at the beauty of the place.
[R-Respect yourself, Host!!] the System yelled, her interface flashing a deep crimson.
Then, the ground trembled. A massive, steel-blue dragon with diamond-like scales and a chest plate that glowed with a rhythmic light descended from the sky. Dialga. The literal Goddess of Time.
She landed softly, the air around her warping with temporal energy. She looked down at the tiny, silver-haired boy and slowly bent her massive neck, lowering her head until she was at his eye level.
Reinhardt reached out and patted her cool, metallic snout. Dialga let out a low, vibrating hum of happiness, closing her eyes.
"Look after me from now on, Dia," Reinhardt smiled.
[Yes, Master,] a regal, feminine voice echoed in his mind through their bond.
Reinhardt paused, his mischievous smirk returning. "Hey, Dia... are you female?"
[I am, Master,] Dialga replied calmly.
Reinhardt looked at the air where his System panel usually floated. "Hey, Wifey?"
[Yes, Host?]
"Are you sure you want more sisters for yourself and more wives for me? Because at this rate, my household is going to be pretty crowded."
The System's screen turned so red it looked like it might explode. She didn't even reply, just went completely silent, probably hiding in the deepest corner of her goddess-realm to cool her face down.
Reinhardt laughed, spent another hour playing with Dia—who found it hilarious when he tried to climb her back—and then exited the dimension, returning to his cold bed in the orphanage.

