The prince is actually a pretty good sport about being held hostage, though I still want to slap that royal smirk off his face. The irony of our role reversal hasn’t escaped any of us. He stays pretty quiet during our escape, and I barely hear any complaints about the crossbow bolt that keeps jabbing him in the back of his neck. Piper just tells him to ride smoother if he doesn’t like it.

  Everyone watches us go but no one knows what the hell to do so they just let us pass. We weave around town and whenever we turn a corner, my heart stops beating only for it to ramp back up again faster than before a second later. Any time we see a soldier, we take another route. Anyone that looks at us, we look away. It takes what feels like hours to get to the gate at the southern tip of the city but it’s actually only a few minutes. There’s a couple times when we find ourselves getting trailed by soldiers on horseback but each time it happens Piper simply orders the prince to order them all to orderly fuck off. In short order. And all the while, I’m waiting for a trap to be sprung or an arrow to come flying through my chest. But nothing happens. Everyone’s too shocked and afraid of what’s happening to do anything that could endanger the prince’s life. All it would take is Piper getting spooked and that bolt would fly right through the base of his skull. Or an upturned brick on this road. Good thing they have amazing street maintenance here. We eventually pass the city gate and the buildings get farther apart, the road gets less maintained, I see less soldiers and less people and, finally, I feel like I can breathe.

  We go a little farther until the gate is out of sight, and then Piper lowers her crossbow with a grunt and orders the prince to fuck off. He slides off the horse and Piper scoots forward to take hold of the reins. Before we let him go, I ask the royal dickwad, “What did the empress do with Ulric’s lifeforce?”

  He brushes his jacket with the backs of his hands and then examines the gash I put in his sleeve as he tells me, “I’m afraid I haven’t the foggiest idea what you’re talking about. Do you realize how long it will take me to walk back to civilization from here?”

  I pull my fancy new sword out to threaten him some more. “You’re lucky we’re letting you live after how we were treated. Now, the ring. Ulric kept it on a chain around his neck. What did she do with it?”

  He puts his hands into the pockets of that immaculate suit of his as he informs me, “I don’t know if it’s the ring you’re looking for but I sometimes see Mother with a ring hanging from a chain around her neck. Perhaps they’re one and the same.”

  I sheathe my sword and motion with my head for him to take a hike. He turns and strolls away with his hands in his pockets like it’s any old walk through the countryside.

  Piper and I start trotting in the other direction and neither of us can stop staring at the other. It’s the first time since finding her in the palace that I’ve really looked at her. The sun is bright today and I can see every shimmering blue fleck in her eyes. Maybe it’s all the near-death experiences I’ve had lately talking, but there’s something that feels inexplicably like home when I look at those eyes. A comforting, childlike sense of calm. I don’t even try to force the smile off my face when she tells me, “I guess you finally saved me for once.”

  I tug sideways on the reins to get my horse to move closer to hers so I can lift her hand up and give it a kiss. Then I remember we’re missing someone. “Dammit, I should’ve gotten Gerard before we left the city.”

  She lowers her eyebrows as I let go of her hand. “Who’s Gerard?”

  “My horse. I have him stabled near the palace. I guess he’ll be on his own now.”

  She points at Heather. “You have a horse. You have a really nice horse. It’s even covered in armor.”

  “Yeah but Gerard is a friend of mine.” She just laughs and shrugs like that was a totally normal thing to say. “I actually need to get the armor off this horse. I don’t think it could look any more conspicuous like this. We’re not out of the woods yet. That stupid parade might have helped but they’re gonna come after us soon and we need to blend in.”

  “Yeah well, then you should probably get out of your armor too. Sorry but that suit is kind of ridiculous! Look, I can see myself in it!” She waves her hand at my shoulder while she watches herself in the reflection.

  “Trying to get me out of my armor now, Princess?”

  She stops waving and gives me a flirty little smile. Then she pulls Mazi out of her waistband and holds him out with both hands to face her. “We did it, Mazi! We made it out!” Then she pulls him into her chest to give him a hug. Except that it’s his face in her chest and I’m actually kind of jealous.

  When she pulls him back out, he says, “We didn’t do anything. You saved me. Both of you. Thank you!”

  Then she looks back over at me. “Oh my god, did you see Aster’s face when we left the palace? I have never seen him that mad! And he’s always mad. You’d better hope he never finds you and that little…friend of yours.” She points at Patches as she says it.

  “I assume Aster’s the minotaur?” She nods. “Yeah, I’d prefer to go the rest of my life without running into that thing again. How the hell did the empress end up with a minotaur as a pet anyway?”

  “Apparently she’s had him since he was a baby. And now he’ll do anything to protect her. Or, I guess he’d have been a calf, wouldn’t he…Wait, what do you call a baby minotaur?”

  I shrug. “I don’t know but that sounds like the start of a really terrible joke. And I’m having a hard time imagining the minotaur was ever actually a baby.”

  Her gaze drifts up toward the sky as she bobbles her head and pictures it. “Oh my god, can you imagine how cute he would have been as a baby!”

  Unauthorized usage: this tale is on Amazon without the author's consent. Report any sightings.

  I shake my head. “You think all babies are cute.”

  “That’s not true! My cousin Gabon was ugly as sin when he was born. My mother used to say that his real father must have been a hobgoblin for him to look the way he did!” She snorts out that laugh I’ve missed so much and then says, “But just imagine Aster as a tiny little baby with his furry face and his wet little snoot!” She wrinkles her nose and goes into her cooing voice when she says it and it could not be more adorable.

  “I think it’d be called a bullnose. And please stop trying to get me to like the minotaur. It’s a maniacal killing machine that could take out an army single-handed. Or single-hoofed.”

  She gives me a big grin when she says the next part, “You know, I even heard that the sorceress would sing him to sleep when he was a baby!”

  “Shut up.” She just nods while her eyes get big. “The sorceress did not sing the minotaur to—no wait, that actually makes a lot of sense. She did the same thing to me.”

  Piper’s head pivots back on its hinge. “The sorceress sang you to sleep?”

  “Yeah, it’s a long story. And we have a long trip home so I’ll tell you all about it.” I motion toward the demon on my lap. “This is Patches, by the way. He eats gold and breathes fire. I don’t know what kind of monster he is but he’s pretty damn useful.”

  “Well, he’s also pretty cute!” She reaches over to scratch him behind the ear.

  His eyes rolls back as his tongue droops even lower than normal. While Patches is experiencing some sort of demon-nirvana, I ask Piper, “Hey, what was with all the shit that was stuck to the walls in your room back at the palace?”

  Patches gives her a disappointed grunt when she pulls her hand back. “I got bored and started practicing my enchantments.”

  I give her the arched eyebrow. “Enchantments? You mean you enchanted all that crap to stick to the walls?” She nods. “...Okay that has got to be the stupidest, most useless enchantment I’ve ever heard of. What is the point even? Why wouldn’t you just use glue?”

  She shrugs. “Why use glue when I could just enchant them?”

  “…Fair enough.” I turn to look back the way we came and see two people about a quarter mile away walking the same direction as us. I face forward and tell Piper without moving my head, “Don’t look now, but I think we’re being followed.”

  She immediately twists around in her saddle to look at them. “Who, them? They’re not even close!”

  “Goddamnit, Piper. Come on, let’s just lose them.” I give Heather a kick and we take off in a gallop.

  Piper whips the reins on her horse and Mazi immediately protests, “Oh, I didn’t miss this!”

  We race down the road past a brook and a few farmhouses until the two people that may or may not have been pursuing us are thoroughly out of sight. Then we settle back into a comfortable pace while I pull up the cloth caparison draped over the side of my horse to wrap it around Patches. As I’m doing it, I ask Piper, “Can you hide Mazi? These two little freaks are giving us away. No offense, Mazi.”

  “None taken.”

  Piper reminds me, “But he won’t be able to breathe if I put him in my pack!”

  Mazi assures her, “Just leave the top open for some air to come through and I will be just fine.” She does as he says and then we look marginally less conspicuous than we did before.

  After the freaks are out of sight, Piper asks, “Are you sure you’re not being just a little paranoid?”

  I huff out a laugh and explain while shaking my head, “Trust me, if you’d been captured as many times as I have by now, you’d be paranoid too.” I glance back over my shoulder to make sure there’s no movement behind us. Then I take a deep breath in through my nose and scan all around.

  Fornia really is a beautiful place. There are rolling hills covered with colorful flowers everywhere I look. We abandon the road for a dirt path as I tell Piper, “You know, if we didn’t have to hate each other so much, I think there’s a lot we could learn from the people here. Everything is so modern in this country. The clothes, the houses. Everything. Imagine if we all got along.”

  She narrows her eyes at me. “Um—hi, do I know you? Who is this person I’m talking to right now?”

  I bat a hand at her. “I’ve had some time to think lately. Let’s not make a big thing about it.” She gives me another 'whatever you say' shrug and we both keep on riding.

  I eventually dump the armor and then Heather and I look like any other horse and rider. I give Piper the quiver with the rest of the crossbow bolts and get Patches safely secured. It isn’t long before I see mountains on the horizon. The ones that border Valencia. If we can make it past those, we’re home free.

  Before we get to them, I tell Piper, “You know what this means though, right? Going back home. Back to the castle. Are you sure this is what you want?”

  She shrugs at the mountains. “I think I’ve had enough adventures for now. I’m ready to be home.” Her gaze drops to the ground after she says it. I give the reins a little tug to the side to pull my horse closer to hers. Then I reach out and take a hold of her hand.

  She gives me a smile that couldn’t look sadder. I tell her, “Maybe you and I can have a different kind of adventure when we get back. Together.”

  Her sad smile turns into a decidedly less sad sneer. “Okay, that has got to be the corniest thing you’ve ever said. You must have really seen some shit out there.” I apologize for the overly mushy sentiment and she says, “No! I actually like it.”

  “Oh. Well then get used to it because there’s plenty more where that came from. Assuming your father doesn’t have me drawn and quartered the moment he sees me.” Her smile is back to normal now. After that, we ride in silence for a few minutes with our hands held together between the horses.

  A little ways down the road she starts feeling talkative again and then we spend the rest of the day catching up. I tell her every awful thing that’s happened since we last saw each other. The escape from the arena, the shellacking I took from Fallow, the ogre, the trash goblins, my first ever heist. Her favorite part is the bit about the slug. And she’s convinced I hallucinated the whole ghost city thing. Honestly, she might be right but I don’t even care. I’m just happy to be going home with her.

  It turns out the Fornians couldn't be bothered with following us. We take it slow through the mountains, snaking our way along the lowest points and changing direction often to make ourselves as difficult to track as possible. It takes two weeks for the land to level out and for the vegetation to get that drab, familiar look that feels like home. The way that flowers always look less interesting when they’re growing in your own backyard. And when that happens, we know, we’re back in Valencia.