Interlude: Solis, Age Twelve II

  “Oh my god, you’re so cute! Your brother is, like, such a slacker, making his little brother do his dirty work. Who’s your older brother? Is he hot?”

  Solis opened his mouth, but another drunk girl in the group cut him off. This was not going how he hoped it would.

  “Do you live close by? Is your brother here?”

  Those were a lot of questions he didn’t have answers to.

  ‘Fuuuuckkkkkk’ he thought.

  “Pffftt,” a third one laugh-snorted. “My girlfriend goes to another district. You wouldn’t know her,” the girl continued laughing while her other friends looked on incredulously.

  Solis used that moment to book it out of there. One of the girls shouted after him, but he was long gone. He didn’t have long legs, but they were drunk and in heels. They wouldn’t chase him.

  Or so he thought.

  A hand snatched the back of his shirt as the girl who asked the difficult questions stared down at him. Apparently, she knew how to kick off her heels and chase a child. Shit.

  “Seriously kid. Where are your parents? It’s not safe out here. Is there someone we can call to give you a ride home?”

  “It’s nothing really!” he squeaked out, cursing his short legs. “I actually live just around the corner. Running home! Haha.”

  The girl looked contemplative for a moment before nodding. “If it’s so close I’ll walk you there.”

  ‘Hahaha fuck my life.’

  “Okay!” he said instead.

  It took a moment for the girl to retrieve her heels and begin walking alongside him. He wanted to try running again, but the girl's two other friends had come by, so he missed his window.

  This… really wasn't going the way he wanted.

  They walked in awkward silence with small whispers between the girls. They walked for seven minutes before the one who asked the hard questions spoke again.

  “You don’t live around here do you.”

  “No.” Solis said, defeated. Now he just needed to find another lie that would get him out of this.

  “Why are you looking for a fake?” she asked, kneeling down to his height.

  A lie came to him. “My school needs my uncle's ID, but he’s a trucker, and he’s gone.” He kicked nearby grass and pouted to really sell the act. Not that it was much of an act, he was fucking furious that things weren’t working how he’d hoped.

  “Your uncle? Can’t you use your aunts?”

  “I don’t have an aunt.” The girls winced, but said nothing.

  “Look. Kid. We really do need to get you home. You shouldn’t be wandering around. I don’t know any fake ID makers, but that’s not something you should be looking for either.”

  “Plus,” the snorting one said, much subdued. “It wouldn’t even work. Fake IDs are meant for shitty bouncers not school scanners and the like. Can’t get stuff like that unless you’re like a dark web guy.”

  Solis filed that away.

  “Mia! Don’t put ideas in his head,” the one who asked questions hissed.

  “Ope,” Mia said, “sorry.”

  “Well, my night is shot." The girl let out a long-suffering sigh, to which Solis sympathized. "Kid. Tell me your address, and we’ll Uber you home. I'm done for tonight."

  Around thirty minutes later, Solis found himself back at home, Maya having already gone to bed.

  He latched onto one thing. The Dark Web. He didn’t know what that was, but the internet probably knew. He’d check tomorrow. Maybe it was a place people could buy things like fake IDs.

  Solis decided he needed to steal a computer. A laptop, to be specific. It wasn’t that hard once he put his mind to it. You just waited for someone at a coffee stop to go to the bathroom and left with their computer. The difficult part was that some of them had passwords, which sucked. The ones that did have a password, he sold on eBay through drops. Sometimes the laptop would just be stolen back, but sometimes the people actually did leave the money, which was a nice bonus.

  He was able to do that because one of the first computers he stole wasn’t locked, which he used to set up an email account and the like. Then he researched how to access the dark web in between placing stolen laptops in discrete locations.

  The short answer was that it was complicated. The long answer is that it was actually really simple once you had the software installed and knew exactly which website you wanted to reach -- which was the hard part. It took scrolling through dozens of forums to find what he was looking for, which was a forum that had a catalogue of other forums, which eventually led him to minor illegal things he could buy. Things like fake IDs.

  From there, he had to buy Bitcoin, a weird currency he didn’t understand at all. He only got any by buying some with cash and then only selling laptops for bitcoin from then on. His sales dropped dramatically, to say the least.

  On the fourth day of his excursions, he got a call on his burner phone from the school. Bringing out one of those old, silly toy voice-changing microphones, he answered the call, crinkling a piece of paper by his waist for added effect.

  “Hello, is this Mr. Johnson?”

  “Yes, sorry. I’m on the road. Who is this?”

  “This is Mrs. Gallaer from the front office. We’re calling to see when you can make it in to fill out some forms?”

  “Ah shit.” Solis did his best approximation of what he thought a trucker would sound like. Southern, a little rough.”

  “Sorry, won’t be able to make it for a few weeks. Went on a long haul. The kids are staying at a family friends.”

  “I see. Well. We’d really like to get you in here soon. Classes start in less than a month and we can’t enroll them until you’re here in person.”

  “I’ll be back before then. First thing I’ll do. Thanks for the call.” Then he hung up.

  He silently screamed and then went back to researching. He’d finally found a website, but it needed a photo… and he needed to find someone willing to pretend to be his uncle.

  ‘Fuck my life.’

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  Solis had selected an image of a white man who looked decently generic. It looked like his head had just been shaved, and the ID was set to expire within the year. Hopefully, that’d give him enough leeway in who he got to play his fake uncle. That was the fourth one he had bought. None of them had come in yet, but one of the first things he had learned on the forums was that the dark web was full of scams. So he was hedging his bets with four. He would’ve done more, but he didn’t have enough bitcoin.

  Currently, he was at a construction site looking for people who looked fed up with life and could pass for the person in the image. He had found several, but wanted to wait until he saw one that looked particularly sketchy or down on their luck. He found one, waited until their shift ended, and intercepted them before they left the parking lot.

  “This is going to sound really weird,” Solis started, and the man almost jumped with a start. “But you look like my uncle. He’s a trucker and didn’t fill out all the paperwork my sister and I needed to enroll in school before he left on a long haul. The school won’t accept video calls. I really can’t afford to miss school like this. He left his ID and you look like him, so could you sign like three papers in the office? It’ll be quick, in and out. I have some savings I can give you, too.”

  The man, still with a flabbergasted expression, let air blow out his lips. “What the hell kid. What are you doing running up to people like that. Didn’t that uncle of yours teach you manners. Scared the shit outta me.”

  Solis wisely stayed silent and let the man process the crazy thing a twelve-year-old had just requested.

  “Left his fucking ID? As a trucker? Is your uncle brain damaged? Surprised he didn’t turn his ass around as soon as he found that out.”

  “He has a picture on his phone. He said it would be enough if he got pulled over, but that he wouldn’t get pulled over.”

  “Cocky.” The man grunted. They scratched the back of his head. “Just signing some papers. Your uncle knows about this?”

  “He suggested it.”

  The man just gave Solis a blank stare, barely blinking. “Okay. Look. I’ll do it for like 200 bucks. That’s crazy, but if your uncle says its fine I don’t really care. Where’s this ID?”

  Score

  “At home. It’s too late to go today anyways. Office is closed. I’ll call you when its time. Shouldn’t take too long. Can do it on your lunch break.”

  “Sure kid,” the man sighed.

  “Why are you in the drivers seat?” The construction worker, Mike, asked.

  “What do you mean?” Solis asked, genuinely confused.

  “I mean why are you driving. You’re not old enough to have your license.”

  Solis… did not realize that people actually cared about that. He had thought that was just a thing people said, not that people actually cared. He looked to the window and back to Mike. “That’s what the tint is for… I think.”

  “Jesus kid, what is going on with you?”

  “I’m from the countryside. I don’t know this is pretty normal out there. Things are more lax.”

  “Lax is one thing, but— why do you even need to drive?”

  “Groceries?”

  “Groceries! Doesn’t your uncle buy them.”

  Solis gave the man the blank look he practiced. The one that said “you’re an idiot” without saying it. He was quite proud of how it looked. “Produce doesn’t last more than a week.”

  Mike thought about that for a moment and winced. Solis wondered when the man had last had a tomato or anything green that wasn’t on a burger.

  That wasn’t fair. The man actually did look quite fit.

  “Still. Lax is one thing, grocery store at twelve is another. Heavy load you got there little guy. That doesn’t matter though. I’m not letting a twelve year old drive me anywhere. Gonna get me killed.”

  Solis shrugged. He didn’t mind. Wasn’t his car anyway. He slid over to the passenger seat, not even bothering to get out of the car and buckled back in.

  “I want to see the ID first.” Mike said, and Solis handed it to the man. Two had ended up arriving, which was one more than he needed to.

  “God damn that is the most generic looking white man I’ve ever seen. Plus he’s bald. I’m not bald kid.”

  “Yeah, but it’s almost expired. He grew his hair out. It looks like yours.”

  “Your uncle has a mullet?”

  “Yeah”

  “Whatever kid. It works for me. I’ll throw on my baseball cap and we’ll be good.”

  They drove in relative silence the rest of the way. He parked the car, and they got out.

  Mike shook out his arms. “Ready kid. Quick in and out. Easy.”

  Solis thought Mike was doing his whole song and dance to hype himself up more than the twelve-year-old, but it didn’t really matter either way. With one final hop, Mike stepped into the main building and B-lined it to the office like he had some place to be after this. Solis rushed after the man and managed to keep pace as Mike pushed into the office.

  “Mrs. Gallaer right? We’ve talked on the phone. Sorry for the delay. Solis said you need the ID and some signatures before I head back out.”

  “Yes, sir,” the woman smiled, looking between Solis and Mike. She received the fake a moment later, and besides a cursory glance at the ID and the fake uncle, she didn’t bat an eye.

  Forms are signed, and the office lady clicked her tongue. “These all match up, so I’ll get them scanned up here real quick.” She continued talking as she put each document in, one after the other.

  “So,” she starts, throwing a casual question over her shoulder. “Solis mentioned you’re doing long hauls out of the Midwest? My brother-in-law drives for Schneider. Who are you with? Maybe he knows your route.”

  ‘AHAHAHAH FUCK ME. WHY! YOUR BROTHER IN LAW? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME GOD?’

  Mike stiffened, clearly not expecting the question either and likely not knowing the answer. Solis had to take matters into his own hands, fast. He let out a suffering, childish groan. “Please don’t get him started Mrs. Gallaer. He won’t stop.” Then, after a beat, hoping to smoothly change the subject, I continued. “Uhh, classes start soon too right? When are my sister and I supposed to be taking those exams? The ones for placement? How does that work?”

  Mrs. Gallaer thankfully took the bait and chuckled. “Never seen a kid so excited for school. Well, we can get you in for testing as early as tomorrow morning at ten if that works for you Mr. Johnson.”

  “Sure does,” Mike answered, already turning for the door. “I just drive the truck, whatever this little guy needs.” He then proceeded to give a beaming award-winning smile so convincing that Solis briefly forgot that the man wasn’t his uncle.

  “Perfect. We’ll get you in for that, and we will see you and your sister tomorrow morning at 10AM!”

  They left, and it took all of Solis’s power not to cheer and dance around like a madman. Mike and him talked as they drove back to the parking lot where Mike’s own car was. Solis paid the man, and Mike began walking away before hesitating slightly. “Word of advice kid. Don’t drive around. Take the bus if you have to. Ain’t great, but children driving gets real messy real fast.”

  Solis wanted to refute right away, but considered it.

  Things were a little different now. If he got caught, it was over. There was a paper trail now, and Maya would no doubt want to settle down. They were safe; no need to risk getting pulled over on a random Thursday. So, he nodded, “I promise. After I go home, just the bus.”

  Mike smiled. “Good lad.”

  “Think you could drive me to the store then? I want to pick up a cake for my sister.”

  Mike sighed. “Sure.”

  Solis never met the man again after that.

  “We get to go to school. We get to go to school.” Maya sang in a staccato rhythm, doing a little dance with her arms and shoulders like she was running all the while.

  “Told you,” Solis smiled. “Just a minor hiccup. You’ve been studying up on your math like I asked? You gotta do really good on tomorrows test. So, we’ll get good sleep tonight and in the morning we’ll have a biiiiig breakfast.”

  “We get to go to school,” Maya said one last time before nodding and saluting her brother. “Aye aye cap.”

  The night came and went. Day broke, and Solis made chicken and waffles with eggs. Really just got the whole chicken up in there. They ate and left early to take the public bus to school, paying a total of two dollars and fifty cents.

  They went to separate rooms and began their exams.

  “This is the easiest grading I have ever done.” Mr. Hither said, to which Mrs. Hither grunted in agreement. They both taught at the same school, same subject—math—just different grade levels. They were old, having been professors once upon a time, but decided to settle down somewhere quieter, their love of teaching the only thing keeping them active nowadays.

  “Once I got the notation down it was basically just a copy of the answer sheet.”

  Mr. Hither stilled. “You think they got hold of the answer sheet?”

  His wife grunted again. “No. The logic is sound. Can’t remember stuff like this. Different numbers, too. Changes the problem a bit.

  “I really thought they were bullshitting.”

  “We get some every year.”

  “I think she aced it.”

  “He did too.”

  “He’ll have to go to the local community college for anything else.”

  “The Maya girl probably has to be bussed to the high school in the mornings.”

  “ Both Home schooled?”

  “Yeeep.”

  “Well. That only took a couple minutes. Turn these in and drink hot chocolate?”

  “Yeeep.”