Somehow, fortune was finally in our favour. We had exited hyperspace at the intended coordinates. Which something something something, blah blah blah, meant it would only be a little over a week until we reached N7.

  A week with practically no privacy, no ability to bathe, and very little food and water rations. We were alive at least, though I felt almost guilty for how unbothered I was by everything. Oddly, despite the greater discomfort, I was enjoying things more. I had not lost anyone; I had barely known anyone on board. Though Stephan was nowhere to be found, that did make me a little sad.

  There were a few women amongst the officers who set up a little camp in the ladies' room. But being pregnant, and with Tobias’ honour somehow threatened, I got to keep the closet all to myself. Or, well, myself plus Nicole.

  Tobias stubbornly refused to sleep in a dusty janitorial closet. And with the chaos, and Nicole's insistence that my Heath needed to be closely monitored for the baby’s sake… it was like one of those movies where teenagers slept over at each other's houses.

  “Look what I found,” Nicole smiled, holding up a mostly empty box. “They’re protein bars,” she supplied for me, not holding some expectation of literacy over my head. “With chocolate and nuts.”

  “I can’t have protein,” I shook my head with a sigh.

  Nicole huffed. “What?”

  I frowned. “That’s what the man said. When I first woke up.”

  She stared at me silently, a pause hanging awkwardly in the air. “You remember that?”

  “Was I not supposed to?” I asked, shrinking into myself. Clearly, I couldn’t do anything right. It was exhausting being me, let alone being around me.

  But Nicole didn’t look upset; if anything, she looked sad. “They are your memories, Elsy, you have every right to them,” she said eventually. “Now eat. Every living organism needs protein. They are one of the building blocks of life. Unless you would prefer more chalky nutrient brick?”

  I shuffled air between my puffed-out cheeks before I gave in. I took the snack from her and unwrapped it. A question burning at the back of my mind. “Why did he say I shouldn’t have it then?”

  “Remember the implant, the one that numbs you when your emotions are… ‘wrong?’ Well, excessive protein consumption leads to a… circumvention of that control in certain batches,” Nicole began, choosing her words frustratingly carefully. “You are defective only insofar as you cannot be so easily controlled.”

  I scarfed the protein bar down in two bites before grabbing another. Nicole smiled proudly.

  “I know things have taken a horrible turn,” I began awkwardly. “But it is really nice to spend time with you again. No one who knows anything ever bothers to explain it to me, and everyone else I just end up lying to. I really missed you.”

  Nicole nodded. “I am sorry. It was not my intention to be absent. Tobias has kept me busy. Not that any of my work will matter now,” she huffed.

  “What were you working on?” I asked, biting into another protein bar.

  “I am not supposed to talk about it,” Nicole blinked. “No, I… I was doing research into splicing samples of native fauna with our crops to adapt them to N7’s acidity. Essentially, I was looking for a way to grow the crops we have on N7.”

  I nodded. I had gotten a lecture on fruits and veggies just this morning. I had no idea how one would go about such a task, but I at least understood what she was attempting. It felt so nice to finally understand something, even if just a little.

  “And did you?” I asked hopefully.

  Nicole shrugged. “The results were promising. But even if we had not just abandoned all my research, I was using imperfect samples collected by a rover. But… I like to think I succeeded,” she smiled.

  “I’m sure you did. You’re brilliant,” I replied, meaning every word of it.

  “Thank you, Elsy,” Nicole smiled. “Ah ah ah,” she scolded with a laugh, sweating at my hand as I reached for another protein bar. “Save some for later. This may very well be the last time you are ever able to taste chocolate.”

  If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

  “What?” I blinked, panic rising in my throat. “No more chocolate? Ever?” Then the stupidest thing happened. I started to sob, not just cry, but a full-body snotty mess

  Nicole just stared at me.

  “This is definitely the pregnancy hormone thing, right?” I choked out. “It’s so stupid to bawl over chocolate.”

  “Likely yes, mood swings are a very common symptom. It’s nothing to be alarmed by,” Nicole replied, crawling over to sit beside me.

  “I just really like chocolate,” I sniffled, resting my head on her shoulder. Nicole wrapped an arm around me to rub my upper arm reassuringly.

  “If it is within my power, I promise I shall procure you more chocolate,” Nicole offered.

  “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  We sat together in silence.

  The days passed very slowly. Despite the noise, I found it easy enough to simply sleep. The shock of everything had drained me of energy. When I didn’t sleep, Nicole and I would play cards or just talk. She would insist I get up to walk around for my own health every few hours. But that meant Tobias would worm his way over, always the willing chaperone when there were prying eyes.

  With Nicole’s warm company, I started to realize something. I didn’t… like my husband that much. I didn’t enjoy being around him. And while I was supposed to tough it out, to learn to make it work for our son’s sake. The more time I spent with Nicole, the less I could find the motivation to follow through on… my literal purpose. The whole reason I existed in the first place.

  These were dangerous thoughts, and yet perhaps it was the protein bars or something else, but the numbness seemed less absolute.

  It was late one night, according to the clock at least, our arrival just around the corner, the baby keeping me awake. The closet was dark, utterly. The flooring was so uncomfortable despite the spare jackets that had been put down. The only sound was the low rumble of the engine, that and my own breathing.

  “Nicole?” I asked quietly, eyes straining in the dark.

  “I am here,” she replied gently, her hand finding mine.

  I held on tight. Grateful for an anchor in the unfamiliar darkness. I sighed, the tension easing out of me.

  “You would make an excellent husband,” I murmured, already drifting back off to sleep.

  I stared out at the purple-tinted planet with amazement. I had never seen something so… impossibly big. It was covered in dark patterns that contrasted the purple. Clouds? Ground? Was the purple an alien ocean? I didn’t know, but that did not take away from how breathtaking it was.

  “Isn’t she a beauty?” Tobias asked me. “Novak 784 d. Our new home.”

  “Yes,” I exhaled, straining to make out details. “Gorgeous.”

  “Lord Barrick," the captain politely cleared his throat. “We have no satellite system to launch. We will be unable to locate the area you had plotted, nor will we be able to relay a message to the Imperium.”

  “Is the Euphorion’s beacon still active?” He asked, already losing interest in me.

  “Yes, and drifting in our direction,” the captain nodded.

  Tobias nodded. “Keep an eye on its coordinates,” he instructed, lowering his voice. “A salvage mission may be our only hope at survival.”

  The captain nodded quickly. My stomach lurched with nausea. “W-What?” I balked.

  “Don’t… overreact,” he sighed. “We were forced to abandon vital cargo during the evacuation. We will need to retrieve it to establish a permanent colony. It’s all fine, Elizabeth. Plans are well underway.”

  “Okay,” I nodded shakily. It didn’t feel fine. It meant that at some point, I would surely be left behind on N7. Not alone presumably, but I was largely helpless. Both in body and mind. Nicole had both a doctorate in Xenobiology and was a certified medical doctor despite all odds and logistics stacked against her. Tobias came from a powerful noble house, with money and resources galore. He held the title of Baron, powerful enough that a platoon of soldiers accompanied our voyage under his command. Or they had, I didn’t know their fate with the whole… catastrophe that was the Euphorion.

  Anyway, what did I have? A parasite growing inside me that left me partially immobile, and not even a year of memories and knowledge. I was the perfect snack for something big and ugly.

  “What has gotten into you, Elizabeth?” Tobias asked as I practically collapsed into a chair.

  “Nothing,” I hissed. “I am scared. I am very pregnant and very scared. And at no point in my very short life was I prepared for any of this,” I snapped.

  Tobias’ eyes went wide, and he stared at me wordlessly.

  The numbness was little more than a faint tingle in the back of my mind. Anger, I was… angry. Ironically, Tobias had never looked so utterly bewildered.

  “I don’t have time for this,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut. “Go back to your closet and try to get some sleep. That might improve your mood. I must begin coordinating our arrival with the other shuttles,” he sighed, with a shake of his head before marching off.

  I didn’t care. In fact, I wanted him to leave. Well, maybe not, but it felt vindicating to even pretend for a moment that it was the truth. It was strangely thrilling.

  I stomped back to the closet and scarfed down all but one of the protein bars, which I lovingly tucked away for the undetermined future. I was determined to get rid of the implant’s hold over me for good.

  Nicole would have to explain more to me if things ever calmed down. Something danced around the back of my head that I couldn’t quite put my finger on yet. But she had saved me in a sense. If she could free me of this horrid mood-suppressing implant, I would be even more eternally grateful.

  Begrudgingly, I lay back down. As foreign as the anger coursing through me was, I was still exhausted. Such travel took a toll on the body. Just this morning, I had lingered in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror and asking myself when I had gotten so pale and thin.

  I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It would have been much easier if Nicole were here.