Yunrov. That’s our district. How the actual… No. No time to worry about it. All we can do is act.

  I nod at Clutter. He nods back, already in the middle of wrapping his hands as inky shadows seep over parts of him. I latch onto the relocation coins I left in the tower, and without a moment’s hesitation, activate the spells.

  Sound hits me the moment we relocate. Scraping on stone, the squelch of heavy footsteps sinking through plastic, and momentary taps that disappear less than a second later. I grimace and push spells into my coins to get ready for whoever’s down around our tower. My bet’s on stonestep solutions’ horizonguard, but he can’t have another fourteen people with him. He would’ve triggered the quest in a different district if that was the case.

  So… wait. That means we’ve got people coming from two or more directions converging on us. I get why the horizonguard would be after us, but why other people? Did the quest send out a message telling people to come to our district and didn’t bother giving it to us?

  “Clutter.” I turn to the shadowy stain that covers my friend. “Whoever’s out there, they’re fighting with the twisted paindne. I’ll go be the distraction, and you make sure none of them decide to try and kill me.”

  He nods seriously. “What do you want me to do if they want to hurt you?”

  “If you think they’re too weak to actually kill either of us, try to leave them alive. But I’ll leave the final decision up to you.”

  I adjust my coin holster, then reach up and press my hand against Clamber’s armlet. Her dad might be down there. That’s one potential ally we could recruit if we’re smart about this. Or, in the worst case scenario, he could be psychically controlled–or threatened with Clamber’s well-being. Shit, we might have to be careful about this.

  Clutter fidgets awkwardly. I turn to him and raise an eyebrow. “Don’t stay quiet if you’ve got something to say. I’m not all-knowing by any stretch of the imagination.”

  “Um… what happens if we don’t know what or who these people are?”

  “Then we adjust on the fly.” I toss him a relocation coin and drop my own on the floor. “If we believe the quest, there’s no way for anyone to get in here without our permission. Retreat if it looks like the horizonguard is going to fight us seriously.”

  He swallows hard at the thought and finishes wrapping his hands. I motion down at the stairs, and he completely disappears into the shadows. The noises barely change as I descend, the sounds of battle barely covered up by the sounds of exploration. Pearl ducks back into her shell with a confident smile as I get to the wall, press my hand against it, and focus entirely on my awareness.

  “Alright. Hope they’re friendly.”

  I press my hand against the wall, which slides open with an almost silent swish. A paindne with grey-blue colouring flinches back with a stifled yelp, her eyes widening as she takes me in. She backpedals a few steps before falling flat on her ass, then turns and scrambles towards a group of three people closer to the walls.

  “They’re here! It isn’t abandoned!” She cries while gesturing wildly at me. “Battle stations!”

  “Battle stations?” I mutter to myself as Pearl giggles in my ear. “Where does she think she is? A warship?”

  The door slides shut behind me right after I feel Clutter sneak out. He spares the group one glance, then turns and slinks away to see what the people on the other side are doing. Seems like he came to a similar conclusion that I did.

  One of them holds up a thick, wooden staff that pulses with magic that feels like a pleasant spring shower. They’re dressed like a… well… the best way I can describe them is a stereotypical wizard. Long grey robes, a wide brimmed pointy hat, and a shoulder bag that’s stuffed to the brim with scrolls, orbs, and other random shit. They even have a grey beard that cascades down to the center of their chest.

  I blink and narrow my eyes at the group. They’re all paindne, yeah, but they’re… familiar. The wizard, one in leather and wielding a giant double-headed axe, another in a tight-fitting black cloak that hides almost everything about them, and the one that just scampered away from me. Who has a goddamn lute on her back and a twinkle in her eye that speaks of grandiose showmanship.

  It finally hits me; I’m facing down a stereotypical fantasy adventuring party. A stereotypical Earth adventuring party. But all four of these people are paindne. Did someone play a prank on them?

  “Stand down! We mean you no harm!” The wizard booms in a voice that sounds like someone trying to mimic other well-known grey wizards. “We are here for naught but the thrill of adventure itself!”

  The rogue elbows the wizard in the side. He–at least the wizard sounds like a he–clears his throat.

  “I was mistaken; we are here for many things, only one of which is the thrill of adventure! We are also here for treasure, knowledge, and somewhere safe to sleep where we won’t get eaten alive by our undead kin!”

  The other three paindne nod in agreement. The barbarian steps forward and brandishes her axe, but it slides through her hands just a little too much and she has to readjust. That doesn’t scream ‘confident with her weapon’ to me. The rogue uses the… I’m hesitant to call it a distraction… that the barbarian did and steps to the side, a shimmer of air barely hiding them from view. My awareness can sense them as clear as day, but even my eyes can easily pick out their shimmering form as they circle around way too far in an attempt to get behind me.

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  I sigh in amusement, but hold back the grin that wants to come out. The sounds of battle on the other side prove that there are dangers here–and these people could actually be very competent distractions. I’m damn distracted, that’s for sure.

  “Hey, hey, no need to get violent here.” I hold up my hands to show I have nothing in them. “I’m the one that got saddled with this little piece of limbo. Do you not have a tower to go back to?”

  The bard shakes her head. “There wasn’t one where we appeared.”

  …Huh, I kind of assumed everyone would’ve spawned at least a little close to a tower. “You’re shitting me. The quest screwed you over from the beginning?”

  “That’s an understatement.” The barbarian grumbles, then shifts her grip on the axe. “So we need a tower. Hand yours over.”

  “Rina!” The bard quietly hisses through her teeth. “Don’t threaten the human”

  The barbarian’s eyes widen and she mutters a curse. “Sorry. I didn’t think this would happen.”

  I narrow my eyes at the three of them. This… has to be some kind of distraction tactic. There’s just no way they’re actually this oblivious to the person standing thirty feet away from them. They’re trying to get me to underestimate them; to let my guard down so they can attack with spells and skills they’re purposely hiding behind this amateurish display. Should I just play along? Is that what they want? Shit, are they just stalling for the horizonguard to get here?

  That sounds a little too plausible for my liking. I take a step forward, friendly smile at the ready, and motion at the wizard. He flinches a little, and the magic in his staff flickers like a candle in the wind. It almost doesn’t feel like he’s using his class at all.

  “So what does that do? Get me a nice, cold drink of water?”

  He puffs out his chest with pride. “This is Goodrain, the staff of clean water! It creates water inside of itself, and with an infusion of mana, I can use it for a myriad of different amazing feats!”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Like what?”

  “Like this!”

  The wizard thrusts the staff into the air. Both the bard and the barbarian’s eyes widen, and they sprint right at me as the magic in the staff starts to churn. It barely feels like anything, even in use, but the wizard drags it through the air in an intricate dance that leaves behind a trail of moisture that looks like the world’s tiniest jet just did a stunt flight around his head. I pretend to be enraptured by the display while remaining focused almost entirely on the three that are rapidly closing in on me.

  Not the best feint and charge I’ve ever seen. I latch onto the shield coin in my holster and sharpen my awareness to a deadly point of readiness aimed at the impending attack. The barbarian comes up on my left, and… turns to watch the wizard with sparkling eyes. So does the bard. Even the rogue stops to watch. I… just… what.

  I take a deep breath to center myself. Don’t get swept away. Don’t let my guard down. No matter how idiotic this is.

  The wizard spreads his arms wide. The trail of moisture glistens with magic, and the staff resonates with a soft pitter-patter like falling rain. Water gorges the moisture, filling it to the thickness of an oil barrel and gaining dozens of feet of length. Except it’s still moving at a snail’s pace. And from the strain on the wizard’s face, he’s having trouble keeping even this much up.

  “I think he’s going to do it this time.” The bard whispers excitedly. “Is this his best so far?”

  The barbarian nods. “Last time he already lost control of it by this point. Maybe he can actually–”

  With a gasp, the wizard loses control of the spell. The staff droops like a piece of wet cardboard, and the magic connecting it to the water evaporates like a single water drop on a searing hot pan. He gulps comically loud for the moment the water hangs in the air, then it crashes down on him with enough force to bring him into a faceplant. All three of his buddies wince in unison, then as the barbarian and the bard go to help him, the rogue walks up and nudges me with their elbow.

  “Dang close.” They say quickly. “Too bad.”

  I just stare ahead with a growing sense of… I honestly don’t know what the hell this is. Not what I imagined when the notification popped up, that’s for damn sure.

  The rogue nudges me again. I turn to look at them, and they jab a thumb at their chest. “Euro.”

  “Shelby. Pleasure to meet you.” I say sarcastically.

  They just nod. “Likewise.”

  …Man, I just do not know what to make of this. I watch the barbarian and the bard help the wizard to his feet, who seems to be a little shaken by his own failure to keep his spell alive. Once they get him steady, the three of them walk casually towards me once more. All their previous caution and hostility completely forgotten.

  They all offer me smiles. I nearly grimace at the strangeness. Something just feels… so wrong about all this.

  “Nice to meet you, Shelby. I’m Jumble, and these are three of my party members; Euro, Rina, and Ward.” Jumble, the bard, motions at the rogue, barbarian, and wizard in turn. “We’re stuck here in this quest, just like you, so we should be friends!”

  I smile sweetly and nod dismissively. They’re definitely just trying to get into our tower. Time to get Clutter and regroup.

  “Sure, yeah, friends.” I say quickly and turn around. “Got any other party members I should know about?”

  Jumble nods. “One more, yes.”

  Heat prickles at the sides of my face. Magic joins it a second later, and I watch in stunned disbelief as a ray of sunlight descends on the other side of our tower. It almost feels like Ashmaw’s pillars of destruction, but this is heavily concentrated light.

  Cries of ‘my eyes’ echo out from around where it fell. And from right next to me, where all four of the paindne party are clutching their faces in discomfort. From inside the light emerges a figure clad in armor and cloth, all emblazoned and styled to look like a sun drawn with exclusively squiggly lines. He looks up from a thick book bound in sun-baked leather and scorched metal and snaps it shut with a look of disdain plain on his face.

  If this is their fifth, at least that explains a little about how they survived.