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  Twelve miles away from her incredible shrinking husband, Lin Marygold was sitting on a bench at Reading Station, confused and nursing a seismic headache.

  Lin’s head spun as her last moments at the office replayed in her head. She was sitting at her desk, deeply engrossed in her latest assignment at Interlogue Translation Services. As well as growing up speaking English and Vietnamese, Lin had degree-level proficiency in French, Spanish and Portuguese. Because of this incredible talent, she was frequently tasked with interpreting the same text three or four times, a routine Drew had often reviled at how mundane and repetitive it sounded. Her son’s long-standing concerns of the strain this could have on her eyes finally became founded when, halfway through her third translation of a painkiller information sheet, the worst headache of Lin’s life erupted. She had jerked and yelped in pain at the intensity, but then paused as it resulted in a bizarre hallucination shimmering before her eyes.

  The view from Lin’s desk on the office floor of Interlogue was a dictionary definition of plain. It featured, from left to right, a photocopier, a door to a stationary cupboard and a monochrome framed print of some random beach. But as the migraine dug its claws into Lin’s brain, this drab image melted away to reveal a shocking and absurd vision of her boss contorted in a scandalously lewd act, surrounded by office supplies.

  Fortunately, Lin’s coworkers noticed her distress, mainly because of her crying out “What are you doing?!”. Her panicked manager appeared from nearby and, after hearing Lin’s explanation of her malady, hurriedly signed off on her sick leave so she could recover from her “obviously severe and fanciful hallucinations”.

  Lin was now sprawled on a bench beneath the sweeping chrome escalators on Platform 9, waiting for the next stopper train to Hungerbury with her head and eyes still throbbing and reeling. With her vision doing a passable impersonation of a 3D Magic Eye picture, Lin was oblivious to the familiar faces coming to sit next to her.

  “Lin? Mrs Marygold? Can you hear us?” Vikram and Radha Prasad, peering concernedly from above, swam into focus.

  “Oh, hi guys! I’m so sorry, here I am taking up all the space.” Lin drew herself together to accommodate the older couple.

  Radha gave a reassuring smile as she seated herself, still carefully massaging her painful fingers. “Never mind that, is everything alright? Vikram was debating calling a guard for help, no offence but you look halfway to death.”

  “I absolutely would have called a station guard, if I could ever find one.” Vikram pouted, looking up and down the platform. “Honestly, there just never seems to be enough staff here. Do you think they’re looking for volunteers? I’m quite good with helping people…”

  Lin rubbed her eyes. Focusing on Vikram’s rambling helped her head feel more normal. “It’s nothing too serious, just a headache. A headache that’s driving me insane, but still just a headache.” There was something still off with Lin’s vision. She noticed Vikram’s squat shoulders were blocking her view of the information board, yet she could still clearly read its announcement that her train was delayed because of an attempted theft of its copper wiring. Turning her head, she could clearly view the trickle of people descending the escalators onto the platform, even though a concrete pillar should be in the way. It was all impossible beyond the capability of any double vision.

  As Lin considered this, Vikram had steered the conversation to him and his wife’s woes. “It’s lucky we ran into you, we only came up to Reading to lodge a complaint with the Rescue Trust’s head office. Radha’s supervisor has made a horrible accusation of misconduct against her!”

  Radha shook her head as she swabbed Lin’s head with a moist tissue. “It’s not as extreme as he makes out. A big bunch of clothes someone donated had a load of tears in them and Joanne thought I was responsible, like I might have handled them improperly. A simple misunderstanding.” Though her vision was far from reliable, Lin spied that Radha’s hands were in awful shape. Her fingers were so thin and shaky they were shredding the tissue into a miniature snow shower.

  “Yeah, I guess some people… you can stop that now,” Lin gently batted off the swabbing. Well-meaning though it was, every finger touch felt like a light stab to the head. “Some people just dump the contents of their rubbish bins at charity shops these days.”

  Lin made to stand up from the bench, which only garnered more concern from her new nurse as another hallucination left her swaying in place. Images of an angry young man, whom she’d never seen before, bursting into an unfamiliar office appeared on the bare wall on the platform opposite her, as if screened by a projector beaming from Lin’s eyes.

  In this vision the sullen stranger looked methodically around him and approached a microphone on a cluttered desk. Lin squinted, struggling to recall where she could have seen such a place before. Radha had clocked Lin’s squinting at a blank wall by this point and piped up.

  “Sorry dear, what is it we’re looking at?”

  Before she could answer, an announcement chime rang out across the station, at the exact same time Lin’s illusionary person slammed a switch on the microphone.

  “ATTENTION FUCKFACES! IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR TICKETS FOR FREE TODAY, GO SEE CAROL NOLAN AT THE INFORMATION DESK! BECAUSE THIS BITCH WILL BE HAPPY TO GIVE IT AWAY TO ANY MAN WHO ASKS, EXCEPT ME! APPARENTLY I’M NOT ELIGIBLE FOR HER SPECIAL DEALS…”

  The young man’s scornful diatribe blared across the station, to the discomfort and consternation of all. Two train guards in hi-vis jackets sprang into action, jogging past Vikram, Radha and Lin towards the escalators, walkie-talkies chirruping.

  “We’ve got a security breach by a complete twat, intercept immediately” puffed one guard, a red-headed lady.

  “Does anyone know which control room he’s in? Kerry and I are heading for Central up on the arcade first…” The other guard asked.

  Just as the guards were about to leave her earshot, Lin threw caution to the wind, and spoke up with her hunch. “Excuse me, is there a control room over there, over on Platform 8?”

  The male guard turned and scratched his beard distractedly. “Uh, yes. Don’t worry madam, we will be checking every office until we find him…”

  Lin explained further, “It’s just because… I saw someone go in there a few moments ago.” Confusion reigned at this statement, particularly with Radha whose face was full of doubt after her observation of her unofficial patient.

  The female guard whispered to her colleague “But isn’t the door on the other side?”. However, since every second of deliberation allowed the angry rantings detailing a disturbed history of stalking-induced romantic rejection to continue, it was only a few seconds before action resumed.

  “Witness saw the perpetrator enter the 7-8 Office. All officers convene!”

  Moments later, all units of bored, underprepared Transport Police guards were trickling onto Platform 8. Using her visions, Lin saw how the sound of a dozen clattering footsteps agitated the intruder. “The bloody fool can hear them, don’t these people know how to be stealthy?” she noted as the shouting on the tannoy finally ceased.

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  “They’re probably still in the Lost Property mindset.” Vikram scoffed derisively.

  Radha saw fit at this point to shine her phone torch into Lin’s eyes, the better to examine her pupils. “Dear, I hate to disagree with anyone, but you do know you’ve been staring into space for 15 minutes?”

  Lin gently but firmly lowered the phone. “I can’t explain how I’m seeing through the wall, but I’ve been seeing scenes like this all afternoon and I’ve finally figured it out. See, the boy’s heading back out the door, on the other side…”

  “The other side that you can see, right” Radha fumbled her phone in her stiff, uncooperative hand as she struggled to understand.

  “Look, you’ll see him fleeing to the left, he’s got dirty blonde hair and a Batman hoodie.” And indeed, Lin’s premonition came true.

  The young man’s exit from the announcement booth only marginally reduced the abrasive volume of his voice as officers began to tackle him. “You fucks don’t get it! That bitch promised herself to me and me alone! I could tell from the way she touched my hand to give me my tickets to Swindon. But she’s playing with me…”

  An incensed Vikram couldn’t hold in his opinion any longer. “You know, whether they appreciate it or not, I’ll always be proud that we’ve raised our kids better than THAT!” he pointed dramatically to emphasize his condemnation.

  The instant he did, half of Reading station witnessed a great arc of lightning striking the young offender directly in the mouth. There were two things that made the event eye-catchingly unusual: firstly, the sky above was completely cloudless and dry. The second reason, as only those nearby with the quickest reactions would attest, was the lightning bolt’s source was Vikram Prasad’s finger.

  As the receiver of this not-so-divine intervention fainted onto the platform floor the trio on the opposite platform huddled together for a semblance of privacy.

  “I..I don’t know what happened. I didn’t intend to harm him you understand… “ Vikram stuttered.

  Lin looked over her shoulder, slightly shell-shocked. “Well, he’s getting up at least.” she said, bringing sighs of relief to the others’ lips. She massaged her temples “Okay, what just happened? I’m not sure I can believe my eyes, especially since my eyes can see inside and outside of rooms.”

  “Maybe we’re just having a rough day,” Radha reassured tentatively. “At least that’s what I hope’s causing the problem with my fingers. I don’t want to have to go to the doctors again.”

  Lin glanced again at the older lady’s hands. She heard Vikram gasp as he saw his wife’s fingers, which had degraded into flat, almost blade-like appendages.

  Before anyone could voice further concerns, the train to Hungerbury rolled into the platform. Not wanting to get caught in the mad lunchtime dash to get on board, all three of them immediately surged towards the nearest carriage. Once aboard, while Vikram and Radha took the nearest seats and discussed whether arthritis can turn one’s hands into knives, Lin partook in the commuter tradition of automatically pulling out her phone. Thus she was blindsided by a series of worrying messages from her husband.

  “LIN I’M ALRIght, I thought the birds were gonna eat me but I lived”

  “Paramedics just left. Couldn’t find anything wrong but I’m weighing myself constantly just in case it happens again.”

  “They pissed all over my work. I was the size of a mouse and they pissed all over me”

  “I’ve told Gina she can’t have a cat.”

  To her consternation, Lin found more from Ben on the shared Whatsapp group for all the chattiest plot-holders at Viceroy Allotments to see.

  New Messages

  Ben M: anyone here know how it feels to have your life torn apart by people you used to respect?

  Lin M: Honey I got your messages I don’t think you’re in a fit state to be vague-posting to everyone right now.

  Josie R: it's okay, I get it. Some jobs are like that. Constantly so, even

  Ben M: Yeah but I didn't think the effect would be so literally diminishing.

  Josie R: ???

  Ben M: I feel so weird

  Brian I: Maybe you two need new careers. Plenty of openings at Vantage!

  Isaac A: Hi Brian, are you alright? We were surprised you weren't in the office today.

  Brian I: was feeling ill, sorry for not calling

  Lin M: Yeesh, you too? I'm coming home early with *the weirdest* migraine

  Josie R: Hmm. Is there something going round? Ben you sound ill too.

  Ben M: my things definitely not a migraine.

  Brian I: me neither, it's just stomach pains and bloating for me. Never missed cross-training before but it just won’t stop

  Lin M: tbh I don't think I have a migraine either.

  Isaac A: oh no! Whatever it is, hope everyone feels better soon.

  Rita R: Same! Sending positive vibes (hug emoji) (hug emoji)

  Rita R: btw r u OK, sis? How's the article going? (Typewriter emoji) (girl boss emoji)

  Brian I: Where the hell do you find all these emojis?

  Josie R: i’m fine thanks. On a lunch break atm. I took both the broad beans and the runner beans from the allotment and made a lush, high protein salad.

  (Josie has shared a photo)

  Radha P: oh howe ppovepluy

  Radha P: h[w did mu fingers craCk the s”creen

  Ben M: oh god it’s happening again

  Lin M: Shit I’m like 15 mins away hang tight

  Ben M: loook down when you come in the house foor gods ssake look down.

  Rita R: I’m having trouble understanding all this babes (upside-down face emoji)

  Ben M: Sorrry I have to punch each key with myy fist

  Josie R: I think she’s talking more about your illnesses, I’ve certainly never heard of anything like this

  Rita R: Yeah

  Brian I: Maybe what I have isn’t normal indigestion? Either way I hope it passes soon, I’m going to a wine tasting party with some old friends and I’d rather not cancel

  Josie R: weird question, did anyone feel an earthquake just now

  Brian I: nope

  Lin M: I don’t get what’s going on either, calling this a disease might be wrong for I know

  Ben M: ssame erre

  Lin M: And then there’s Vikram’s little problem with static electricity

  Vikram P: Excuse me, if you wish to discuss my medical problems you should do so with me, in private. It’s not hard, we are in the same train carriage

  Lin M: shit i forgot you were in this group message deleted

  Lin M: OK I’m sorry, but it’s probably going to be on the news anyway so you’ll have bigger problems soon

  Vikram P: Still, I didn’t blab to everyone about the second pair of eyes you had on your head when you were seeing through walls.

  Lin M: MY WHAT ???

  Rita R: Oh dear (sad face emoji). Sounds like everyone’s having a rough day. I’ll be at the allotment after work if anyone feels up to chatting about it.

  Josie R: How closely have you been reading these texts?

  Spencer T: Hey guys, could everyone please keep an eye out for Horace? He ran off in a hurry somewhere and I’m worried because he’s been a bit weird at the moment. Be careful if you do find him, the old sausage has a lot of energy today.

  Lady Astrid: Does anyone know how to turn whatsapp notifications off? I’m preparing a garden party right now and all these messages are reeeally distracting.