Oh Globert my goo, you jiggle with grace,

  Your gurgles are music, you make my heart race.

  Please wiggle beside me forever and ever,

  And with your googly stare, I hope we’ll always be… together.

  -Hex the Lovestruck

  Globert stared in confusion at the strange writing, clearly only there to impress her. She turned it over to read the slimespeak translation on the back, and quickly squirmed away. Hex sighed.

  “What’s this?”, Phoebe asked as she picked up the love note. Faster than a speeding bullet, Hex shot out of the bushes, quickly obscuring the letter.

  “This is a dangerous text not fit for mortal eyes!”. Without further ado he swallowed the note, burping in relief as it digested.

  “Oh, is that the love poem you’ve been writing all week? ‘Oh Globert my goo’...”. Hex’s face burned bright red as the words ‘deny everything’ thundered through his mind. “…Don’t you think you’re coming on a little too strong? ‘Please wiggle beside me’…”.

  The next second, he wasn’t thinking at all. “I-I meant nothing improper by that! My love for Globert is entirely pure! And how have you memorized every line already?!”.

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  Phoebe shrugged. “It is pretty memorable. You have that going for you, I guess. I’m just surprised that Globert’s a girl. I probably would’ve named her differently had I known”.

  Hex relaxed, glad the conversation had shifted to safer waters. “Oh, I wouldn’t worry. She was probably male when you got her, anyways”.

  “What? How exactly does that work?”.

  He blinked slowly. “…Would you like me to explain the details of slime biology?”.

  “On second thought, forget I asked”, Phoebe cringed.

  “Good. Anyways, why aren’t you taking the B-rank exam again?”, he quickly seized his chance to steer the conversation even further away from his love life.

  She stiffened. “I’m just not ready”. “Really? Even after awakening holy magic?”.

  “That was just a fluke”, she quickly dismissed it with a wave of her hand. “Since then I haven’t been able to use it. I just don’t have the talent for it, simple as that”.

  Hex studied her carefully. “…You know, maybe Count Boogula’s right. You should take a break. A lot has happened, and taking the time to process it would be best”.

  “What? I just explained everything to you, didn’t I?!”, Phoebe’s tone matched her rising irritation. “We can’t stop when there’s so many monsters around! Our job is to help people!”.

  “I can’t help but feel as if you’re distracting yourself”, Hex calmly stated. “You’ve been killing sugar worms for days now. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re nearing extinction”.

  “Then we’ll find a different monster. Sugaria has no shortage of them”, she marched off, preempting a response.

  Hex let her go. Anything he could say now would just spark an argument. Besides, he already had another maiden’s heart to unlock.

  “Oh Globert, you’re sweeter than sugar”, he mused aloud in front of some candidate words: looker, hooker, booger. “…Rhymes are hard”.