The memory was clearly not a happy one.

  Perhaps he’d managed to repress part of it, or he’d simply managed to hide his feelings about it. It wouldn’t surprise Kenneth, seeing as whatever transpired could only ever be the second-worst memory of his entire life.

  “I… I couldn’t tell the difference at first, where… where I went was in the water, only calmer. It took me some time to see it was different, dark, only dark… but also not dark…”

  “What do you mean?” Kenneth asked calmly, trying to comfort him.

  “Things were dark, the water in my eyes, mouth, very dark, but the sky, even darker. I barely knew what was up, down, or where the sky was, but still I saw something, less dark, with shapes. Swimming, like you taught me, I splashed in the water, my head going up and down.”

  ‘Thank god I gave him a swimming lesson,’ Kenneth thought, though he wasn’t relieved, knowing that if he hadn’t taught him, his fear and hesitation would have cost him his life right then and there when he’d been swallowed.

  “It was hard, but I made it to land, only the land was wrong, the ground it… it looked like sand, but didn't feel like it, more like, melted fat mixed with sand or—“

  “Gooey sand,” Kenneth interrupted, Kolu’s expression changing for a moment to one of recognition, perhaps not knowing or understanding the word, but seeming to know it fit perfectly.

  “I choughed, and I coughed, and I coughed, my body tired, and insides hurting from all I swallowed. ” he then grew tense and more fearful, coming closer to Kenneth. “When I could breathe, I looked around. It was weird and scary, broken pillars, and stone everywhere, and when I went deeper into it, I… I… saw the throne, broken and empty, with something beside it on the ground, but then… There was someone

  “I’m sorry, little one…”

  “She appeared behind a broken wall. A knight in armor, and fur, and eyes, and everything, the blackest. I stopped, and my tail went between my legs. She was like me, but scary. Scarier than any heretic.”

  ‘Someone is inside the bag. Maybe, that lie I gave to Nya about it being a gateway to, well, a pocket space of some sort wasn't a complete lie after all.’

  “Her voice was beautiful, but empty,” Kolu explained as he retold what the person had said. “To witness the icky waves, and void skies, are horrors enough, but stepping upon this crumbling shore, of dilapidated ruins and broken desires, that once reached the heavens… the brave, the faithful, and wicked have all stepped here like you. This ought not to be your fate… But I… ought not to be this cruel, drawing it out… perhaps unlike the others, you are but a true innocent… mayhaps that is the reason, I speak, let you understand. Yet regardless, your fate must be the same. Truly, I wish it were not so. ”

  “Then she reached out with her hand. I didn’t understand anything, but I wanted to flee, get away, but the ground sank beneath me, trapping me, and her hand almost touched me until a black wave, far from the shore, suddenly covered me and pulled me down, and before I knew it, I saw you.”

  Kenneth didn’t even pretend that any of what Kolu had said made any kind of logical sense, but he didn’t doubt a single word that he’d said. “I’m sorry, beyond words, that all of it happened, that you had to go through all of that.”

  “…”

  Kolu didn’t reply; instead, he simply nuzzled up against Kenneth, seeking comfort and safety, the only place he could find any in this place.

  ‘How does all of this add up?’Kenneth wondered in a moment of silence. ‘A dark void of some sort, with someone inside it, and what was all that nonsense about? It wasn't his fate, and there had been others? Of course, it would make sense if all of it were a lie, her lie. You can see my memories, Jasha, so listen up. Go after me, all you want, haunt my dreams, but never him again. I don’t care what kind of sick jokes you like, I will climb into that bag and see for myself if you bleed.’

  Whether she heard his threat or not, or felt any kind of trepidation, he would never know, but right now that didn’t matter as he comforted Kolu, deep into the night, at some point falling asleep himself.

  The next day, things went about as normal, but throughout it all, breakfast, treating patients, and during class, everyone was quiet. But the most noticeable was Nokstella, who no longer dragged Kolu around or played with him; if anything, she kept her distance, avoiding even looking at him.

  It was a saddening sight, this little happy girl, having lost much of her spirit.

  Once the lecture came to an end and Nokset had left, Kenneth turned to both of them, “Nokstella, could you come here for a moment?”

  He had offered to carry her, but she declined for the first time, on her own, walking into the entrance hall of the building.

  “How are you holding up?”

  Her scales turned a little lighter, “Kolu, hurt…”

  “Yeah, he was,” Kenneth said in a calm, understanding voice. “You were a little too.”

  “My fault, make play then.”

  “Yes, and you can’t change the past but-“

  “We bad,” Nokstella interrupted. “Fight not fun, it bad, fight bad, us bad, me bad…”

  Every fiber of his being wanted to grab her by the shoulders and scream it wasn't true and hold her tight; however, he did not meet her with frantic concern, but calm understanding. “Nokstella, please don’t tell me you think you should be wearing chains again.”

  “Mama… chain, other, chain, all good, they not, hurt Kolu, me hurt Kolu.”

  He gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “Your… mother was good because she was good, not because she was chained up.”

  “But they all bad…”

  “Not all of them attacked Kolu; some just stood back,” he gently lifted her snout so she could look him in the eyes. “You have to understand people are sad and angry, and unfortunately, Kolu became an outlet for those feelings.”

  “Why?”

  “Listen… do you remember when Kolu cut you? At the time, he was angry, sad, and confused after losing his… father, and he took it out on you even though you had nothing to do with it.”

  She touched her face, a silent gesture there told him she remembered it clearly.

  “Now, before you interrupted me,” he began, getting her attention. “It’s true you can’t change the past, but what you do next is your choice; you can either think of both of you as even, for him taking his anger out on you, or you can forgive it and try to apologize to him.”

  She turned her snout to the side, “Girls not say sorry, women strong, dummy-ant, not weak.”

  ‘Makes sense in their culture, though at least some do it, I… think,’ Kenneth wondered for a brief moment. “Well, Nokstella, I’m not forcing you to say sorry; if I did, it wouldn't mean anything, but I just want to say I personally think saying sorry, admitting one's mistake, isn't weakness, but another form of strength.”

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  This caught her attention the most.

  “You have the kind of strength most around here would agree is the only one that matters, how much you can lift or how hard you can punch, but they aren't the only ones. You can be mentally strong, enduring hardship, and be strong enough to face your fears. I’ve had to go through a lot of that in my life.”

  “I, not brave like Papa.”

  “I know that isn't true, and if you think being scared means you can’t be brave, let me tell you, you can't be brave without first being afraid; that’s true for everyone. Or how about this? You can’t make a clump of iron into a sword without warming it first, if that’s easier to grasp. So saying sorry can at times feel like weakness, and in some ways it might be. But it is also brave to say it when it matters, even though it feels like leaving yourself vulnerable. Saying sorry, it might not mean much to some or even yourself, but to others, it can make a world of difference.”

  “But if Kolu not take, then?”

  “Well, that is the risk, but remember it’s your choice, maybe this will all blow over with time, or maybe it won’t.”

  That wasn't the answer she wanted; that much was written on her face, but it was an honest one, the kind she deserved, and at the end of the day, they were just kids. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that they would be fast friends in no time again as they walked back into the room, Nokstella taking the lead.

  Slowly, with growing shame and sadness, as with each step she turned lighter and whiter, holding her head low until she stood in front of Kolu. “I, sorry. I not want hurt, only, fun, play.”

  Split shot him a disapproving glance, but said nothing.

  Kolu responded, raising his palm up as he swiped down on Nokstella and bonked her on the head, though with no force behind it.

  Shocked, she looked up at him with confusion as to why he’d done it, only to be met with an evading expression, half looking at her, “even.”

  It took her a moment to wrap her head around what he’d said, but the moment she did, she positively lit up… in spirit, as she launched forward, hugging him tight.

  ‘If making friends like those two were as easy for adults, this world would be a lot simpler,’ Kenneth couldn’t help but think, standing in the doorway, with a smile.

  But with his ear to the wall, a sound from outside caught his attention, and as he turned his head to see, his stomach tightened.

  Standing in the doorway, gleaming golden light hitting her back, Nokoovo greeted him with a smile, her scales that had once had a certain shine to them now looked rougher, like a piece of glass had been rubbed with sandpaper, and her appearance itself was a bit disheveled.

  In contrast, the only thing that looked tended to was the book he’d gifted her.

  In a word, he felt melancholy to see her like that. Though that wasn't to say he had all that many positive feelings about her at the moment, but neither, as many bad ones, most within there had sprung forth the moment he saw her, clashing, before fading, leaving only a jumbled mess.

  “Can we talk?” She asked, politely.

  He didn’t answer her right away, or with words at all, but walking toward her was enough of an answer.

  “I know you don’t want to talk to me, but, for some time, I’ve been able to think. About the only thing I have been doing, and I realized, I want to be your student again.”

  “…you look tired.”

  “Things can go back to the way they were. I can be your student again,” She replied in an optimistic tone.

  ‘Again with this,’ Kenneth sighed. “And what made you come to that conclusion?”

  “As I said, I’ve done a lot of thinking, spending most of my time looking through the book you gave me,” she held it close to her chest. “And I realized, my pride, the one I held so tightly to, wasn’t… I realized I’m no longer the slave master, I no longer have that responsibility.”

  “And?”

  “What?” She looked taken aback, like she had rehearsed this scenario in her head, without thinking about anything other than the possibility that success could happen.

  “You know there's a stark difference between an addict who chooses to go sober and one who’s forced. Yes, you can’t be the slave master anymore, but you didn’t make that choice; it was made for you, and because of that, how do I know you won’t just go back to your old ways, once you are given the chance to?”

  “But… I won’t…” her voice was quiet and empty. “I swear… to all the gods.”

  “I wish… I knew that was true… honestly, wholeheartedly I do…”

  “…”

  There wasn’t anything more that needed to be said, and with a sigh, he turned around to leave.

  “I will tell her.”

  Nokoovo had said it so quickly, Kenneth barely registered, having only turned a little, however slowly he turned back, to fully face her. “What?”

  Even she had an uncanny and uneasy expression, like she hadn't expected those words to come from her mouth. “If you don’t let me be your student again, I will tell her the truth about her mother.”

  ‘Dammit, dammit, dammit! Why the fuck did I let it slip?!’ He cursed himself trying to keep calm. “Fine, you're my student again, but if you let one word slip to Nokstella about—“

  “Papa…?”

  In a fraction of a heartbeat, while he didn’t feel his own, he snapped his head around, his face growing pale as Nokstella stood right behind him, Kolu by her side.

  “Mama, what true…?” She asked, confused.

  ‘What do I make up, she was a Royal… no, it has to be believable, and everything could go wrong if Nokuji gets involved… maybe that Nokstel wasn’t her real mother or—“

  “Sorry, Nokstella, I think you misheard. There is no secret,” Nokoovo calmly said, walking closer toward her and Kolu. “Me and your Papa were only pretending, you see, I wanted to test my skills in acting, and that means lying convincingly.”

  Her statement, more so, seemed to confuse Nokstella than clear anything up, but even so, Nokstella didn’t seem to think anything was wrong. Kenneth said not a word, his body still tense as she crouched down, and with a smile, she reached toward her.

  In that brief instance, her expression, her hand, reaching slowly, all of it sent an instinctual chill down his spine, as memories flashed, as he saw Kolu in the peripheral of his vision flinching.

  In that moment, he grabbed her by the wrist tightly and stepped between them.

  For a moment, there was silence, as Kenneth's heart palpitated, leaving him questioning why he’d just done what he’d done, while staring down at Nokoovo.

  However, her expression was vacant, only for a moment prior, visible shock was showing, before it faded completely.

  Slowly, she rose back up. “I never once believed it was you who set the slaves free, that it was my fault alone, regardless of what my mother said, or if you did it. I suppose there was a hope in me that it was because you wanted me to no longer be the master, but I see through the darkness, and you are looking at me like everyone else.”

  Kenneth opened his mouth to say something, but no sound came out, and as he watched a tear form in the corner of her eye, he closed it and let go of her wrist.

  Wiping away the tear, Nokoovo grew paler, more so than he’d ever seen her before, “Nokstella…

  With a sudden spike of panic rushing through his body, Kenneth tried to silence her.

  “Your mother is dead.”

  He was too late, both arms raised, frozen in midair. He slowly turned around, the sight breaking his heart.

  She was paler than before, staring with wide eyes, her world shattered, and in part, Kenneth had done more damage than could have been avoided with his actions. Not only lying to her, but his adamant desire to stop the secret from coming out.

  She may have been a child, young and inexperienced, but she knew it wasn't a lie.

  “Nokstella,” he spoke, calmly, quietly as he turned to face her, kneeling down and reaching for her, attempting to comfort her; however, she recoiled, staggering back.

  Kolu was utterly confused, yet part of him seemed to understand what was happening from Nokstella’s expression, or at least enough, as he placed a hand on her shoulder only for her to shake it off.

  “Is Mama dead?”

  It was such a direct question, one that at this point, he could no longer lie about. “I’m sorry, Nokstella.”

  That was all the confirmation she needed to begin bawling, uncontrollably, yet through her crying, she asked, “Why…”

  “I… thought you were too young to understand, that you deserved to have peace to be a child until you were ready.”

  “Fole right. You leave and not come back.”

  “Nokstella,” he extended his hand to her.

  Eyeing it, him in a way he’d never seen her look at anything, she slapped it away, screaming, “I NOT WANT CHOOSE YOU!!!”

  It was a silly, dumb thing for children not old enough to understand anything or even think, to choose a parent, but even so, why did that hurt so much?

  Through tears, Nokstella moved away, looking away, from Kenneth, to Kolu; however, she only lingered on him for a moment before turning away again, this time to Split, but again she looked away, her crying growing stronger, as her shattered world began to spin, and she could no longer stay on her feet.

  However, where all stood still, one approached her and extended her hand down, asking, “Do you want to come with me?”

  “What the hell!” Kenneth shouted at Nokoovo. “Do you think you can just take her?! That’s against the… whichever law it is!”

  “It’s her choice,” she replied unfazed.

  Slowly, Nokstella’s head rose, and as she looked at Kenneth one more time with that look, she took Nokoovo’s hand. And before he could voice another protest, she lifted her up, Nokstella curling up against her, crying into her clothes.

  He wouldn’t let her take her, as he stood in front of her, blocking the way out, but facing Nokoovo like this, her expression as cold as the day they first met, he could only see Nokstella curled up crying, hiding.

  For one of the first times in his life, he suddenly lost the will to stand firm and face any adversity he was up against, his arms falling to the side and his head slumping down as he let them pass.

  He wouldn’t, he couldn’t inflict any more pain and sorrow upon her.