"There's no way. You're a paladin?"

  I asked, astonished. My jaw literally dropped as I looked at this orcish warrior. My vision had been cured- and there was only one explanation I could think of when it came to healing magic coming out of someone this martially proficient. Paladins had an ability called Lay on Hands, giving them a pool of healing they could provide others with. For every certain threshold of healing, they gave out, it could cure diseases.

  Not only did this fix my eyesight problem, which would've cost me serious leveling to deal with, but it also explained the light she was using.

  I got a better look at her, and everything else, now.

  And by god, she was stunning.

  Orcs aren't your typical supermodel of beautiful, but for whatever rhyme or reason, she was. Drop-dead gorgeous, even. It made sense she wore the helmet all the time because if she didn't she would attract stares from everyone, everywhere she went. Sure, she had some scars from assumed fights, and she was covered head to toe in blood, but I knew men back in the real world who would pay insane amounts of money just to drink her bathing water. Not to mention, she just cured my eyesight and possibly saved my life.

  "What's it to yah?" She asked, and for the first time aside from her shouting, I heard her speak. It was a lower voice, fitting for an Orc, and with more brunt to it, but not guttural. Strong. A strong voice.

  Holy shit, was I fanboying? I needed to focus on what was important, hot Orc paladin can wait.

  "Nothing, nothing, thank you. Thank you for healing me. I'm-I'm stunned we actually did that. That was insane." I stammered out, trying to get up. It was painful, but enough feeling had returned to my body I could move without too horrible of a limp.

  She didn't speak, instead turning to go and begin dragging the bodies into a pile.

  Ah, right. Weak and not the best charisma. This was likely one of Chagrin's very, very rare interactions with women.

  Wait, I'd saved her life. Shouldn't she be grateful?

  Then again, she was an Orc. They were not known for their manners. I elected to let it pass- she had saved my life, so it was fair. One favor for another.

  I began going about retrieving weapons. Each of them had a scimitar, a light crossbow, a few bolts, their own sets of clothes and armor, some torches, and a few nets over in a stockpile. I piled these up and stripped them of their clothes as Helmet piled their bodies. Then it came to looting the tents.

  Twelve bedrolls, twelve mess kits, what must've been 84 days worth of rations, two shovels, a sledgehammer, two crowbars, a spyglass, six two-person tents, six hooded lanterns, twenty-four torches, twelve blankets, a large cooking pot, carpenter's tools, and twelve waterskins.

  Then came the money from what the bandits had stolen. Twenty gold pieces, a thousand silver pieces, two thousand two hundred copper pieces, an azurite gemstone, an eye agate gemstone, a hematite gemstone, as well as a drift globe, a potion of healing, a potion of climbing, a Tasha's Caustic Brew spell scroll, and a Shield of Faith spell scroll.

  Calculating just the worth of the spyglass at about 1000 gold pieces, including the rest of the equipment and belongings here, totaling it all up would come out to two thousand thirty-four gold pieces. Of course, this was nearly eight hundred pounds of equipment, not including the tents. With the tents and the coinage, it was about a thousand pounds.

  With it all gathered in a pile inside one of the tents, I looked over it all and finished doing the math in my head. Helmet was over by the fire, already cutting into the meat stuck on the stick with a bloody scimitar she'd taken off the pile. I flew over, to the other side of the fire, pulled out a chunk with my hand, and bit into it.

  The taste of poorly smoked, overcooked meat far outdid that of the rations I had been eating for the last couple of days. If I was on a regular diet back in the real world, this would've tasted like char, smoke, and grease. In this world, after eating dried fruits and jerky for days? This tasted like the best barbeque ever.

  For at least ten minutes, me and Helmet did nothing but silently eat. We eventually took the spit off the fire and stuck it into the ground, biting into it. I ate out of my mess kit, cutting chunks off with my knife and chowing down, swallowing the harder bits with what was left in my waterskin. When we had finally finished eating and were sitting around the smoldering embers of the fire, she finally spoke.

  "Your name is what again?" She asked, as blunt as a club.

  "Chagrin," I replied, still trying to ease the wound on my leg and quad. "And you?"

  "I am Shel." Her expression didn't change much as she spoke, which I couldn't blame her for. She had huge gash marks all along her neck, and collarbone, and she had very literally been impaled in her armpit and out her shoulder. She still had the bolts from earlier sticking out of her. The bleeding had mostly stopped on her now, but some still trickled.

  "Thank you again for healing me, Shel."

  She only nodded.

  "I think I'm going to get some rest. Are you fine with the first watch, or would you like me to?" I asked.

  "Go sleep." She mumbled as she cut into the remainder of the meat.

  I nodded, before walking over to one of the tents and crawling in. I spent the minute taking off my armor, finally letting my third fucking leg get free, before crawling into a bedroll and passing out from exhaustion.

  The night passed by without issue- I was woken up for my watch a few hours later to a now well-fed Shel, and one headed into another tent to sleep. I got up, flinching from the pain, before heading out to sit on a log. I got the fire going again after a few minutes, before going over what just happened in my head.

  Met Shel in a tavern, and joined her on a job to go take out some bandits. Found the bandits, fought them, killed bandits, got shot three fucking times, got healed and had my vision cured by Shel, ate food, looted the place, and rested.

  I'd killed people. I got shot, repeatedly. I could have died. I caused people to die. I was a murderer. I was sleeping in the same camp as another murderer. I actively assisted a murderer. It was for a job, right? Did they deserve to die?

  Well, no. Nobody did. Not really. I wasn't the judge.

  But I knew I had to survive. I didn't need to argue with anyone over whether or not I was justified in doing so- this was a medieval fantasy world, where dragons and giants fought over land and aberrations beyond human comprehension tore people atom from atom. As far as I knew these bandits would have their souls sent to another plane, where they'd reform and see an entirely new life. I was just trying to survive and make money.

  The guilt weighed on me. I told myself it was them or me.

  Now onto the rest. My wounds had started to heal up, and amazingly, the pain was gone. Be it a blessing for Eldath, the mechanics of the game showing through, or some sort of infernal boon, I was healed up. More tired, certainly- I knew if we got into another fight somehow I wouldn't recover nearly as quickly as I did here. I also still don't have my magic back.

  First, while on watch, I wanted to fix up some fucking pants. I hated having my gunk partially hang out moving around. I went over the pile of traveler's clothes we had in the tent with the loot. Sorting through them, I eventually found one that would fit better than the skirt, and thankfully with a decent set of underpants to match. It was an odd feeling putting on the items of a dead person, but it was better than what I had on before.

  I was pissed since I was so weak. There was a lot of gear here- I could realistically only use so much, but the carpenter's tools would be nice to take, as well as a crowbar, sledgehammer, shovel, spyglass, the big cooking pot, and the rations. Even with another backpack over my other shoulder, I could really only haul so much, and with my strength score being what it was, I couldn't use it all.

  I went about the rest of my time on watch taking it easy. Focused on fixing up the new clothes, and see if I could get something better amongst the other sets.

  By the time I was done, I'd replaced nearly all of my clothes with the ones the bandits wore. Save for some burn spots on some and holes from javelins in others, I had some new duds. I had some loose wool trousers, baggy around my legs but tightened to end just above my knee joint. The straps went up and over my thick shirt- fit with a drawstring v-neck and little leather bracers on my wrists to keep my sleeves out of whatever I was doing. Undershirt and some long johns underneath, I would be fine for the colder conditions in the woods and at night. It was better for me to be warmer than colder- fire resistance would let me handle ridiculous temperatures even in day-to-day life. Rifling around more, I found a thick robe- likely taken from whoever had the scrolls. It had some pockets on the inside I could store things in, but it had a wonderfully large hood, and was big enough that it would probably fit Shel just fine. I took it instead- carving out some holes for my horns to slip through, as well as some on the back for my wings. Took a bit of fiddling and it was a little scuffed, but matched the holes in my trousers and shirt. It was a darker brown color, the trousers a faded navy, and the shirt white as the wool the sheep they got it off. I took two of the scimitars and their scabbards, attaching them to my belt while I slung the mace onto the side of my bag, with the rope. I didn't know how to use the scimitars the best, but my dexterity was far better than my strength, so I'd get more use out of them. I already had the crossbow I wasn't really using, but there could be a time I would need piercing damage over the fire- rare, but with my luck? I took an extra box of bolts and squeezed them into my bag. I also took a sledgehammer, a shovel, a crowbar, as well as the spyglass. Another waterskin and ten days of rations for good measure. That, and a blanket, and a proper tent.

  As the sun was beginning to rise and crest over the treeline, the first beams of daylight peeking out, I had stuffed the driftglobe into one of the pockets in my robe along with the scrolls and agates, before starting to take down the larger tents.

  Shel walked out of her tent fully clad in her armor- did she sleep with it on? She'd cleaned it up, and did a big stretch with her arms in the air, letting out a yawn. With her helmet on, it really was impossible to tell what gender or species she was. I knew with my tail, horns, and wings, it was next to impossible for me, but maybe if they only saw my moose horns, they'd think I was a secretive druid over a tiefling.

  She saw me packing up the tents and what was left in camp, and began to do the same. Partway through, she left and headed into the woods carrying her greatsword. I heard chopping- and a lot of it. Soon enough, she came back with what looked like the entire trunk of a tree on her shoulder. She plopped it down in the center of camp and grabbed the carpenter tools from the pile before she began to carve it up.

  "Come help me out once you finish packing everything. We're not getting everything here back to town without something to haul it." She said, as bluntly as the night prior. She didn't even turn to look at me as she spoke.

  I hesitated, before nodding and continuing to pack and tidy everything up. When I was done, I went over and knelt beside her as she fashioned the giant tree trunk into a series of planks. Taking a glance at her greatsword, it was clear she rarely used it for actually hurting people. It was an instrument of carpentry, she'd used it to take down the tree.

  The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

  I repeatedly cast guidance and did my best to assist her. Tying planks together, squeezing axles into crude wood cookie wheels, and sanding whatever she pointed at.

  It took.... hours. Well into the afternoon, and from morning until early evening. The sun beat down on us as we worked, but with only one set of tools and extremely wet wood, it was an odd process. Eventually, by the time the sun was already beginning to set on the treeline again, we had fashioned the most crude wagon I had ever seen. It was a platform on wheels, with one in the front and two in the back. We had no animals to pull it, so we were forced to tie a rope to ourselves after we loaded it up with everything. It was heavy enough to where not even she could pull it alone, so we made the long trek back with everything either on our person or in the shitty cart.

  It was exhausting. Navigating back wasn't hard- having to load objects back into the cart every ten minutes when they fell off forced us to stop, fix it, and get it moving again. Getting a wagon with over a thousand pounds of gear to move was ridiculous for two people. Is this what the Egyptians did?

  By the time we made it back, it was dark again, and an entire day had passed from when we left. We stopped by a shop and parked the cart out front. Shel dropped her ropes in a cloud of dust on the street, before barging in through the front door and letting it swing closed behind her.

  "I uh... I guess I'll hang out here and watch our stuff." I muttered, before dropping the ropes and pulling my hood down. I wasn't sweated, but my body ached again. This shit was so tiresome. I knew adventuring in a fantasy realm wouldn't be all sunshine and roses, dragon fights, and saving princesses, but god, this stunk. My muscles were sore, I had dirt and mud all gunked up in my hooves, and blisters on my hands from the rope.

  I waited outside for a few minutes, and after about half an hour, she came back with two huge bags of what looked like coinage gripped in her gauntleted hands. Raising one as someone shouted from inside, I looked at her, a bit dumbfounded.

  "What did you just do? We're selling these things here right?" I asked, confused.

  "Yep. Here's your share." She said, before chucking the bag at me. I tried catching it, "Oh fuck-" but my knees gave out with the weight and I stumbled backward into the ground, kicking up another cloud of dust in the evening light.

  It was heavy, and after opening the top, it shimmered with gold coins. I would need to count it all later but-

  "One thousand and one, I'm keeping the change in silver and copper, since you're taking the spyglass." She said, and I swore I could actually hear her smile under her helmet.

  "Oh, thank you." My calculations were off- this was more money than I was anticipating, at least by 30 gold or so, given I was taking some of the equipment. "You know the merchant?" I asked, befuddled.

  "Yup. See you around Chagrin." She said, before hauling the sac of money she had over her shoulder and walking away.

  "Wait, where are you going?" I asked, scrambling to my feet, my arms weighed by the sac of cash.

  "What?" She asked with sass, stopping for a moment.

  "Is that all? Are we not a team?" I asked, realizing I sounded like some desperate muck.

  "No. You helped me with the job. Go away." She scoffed under her helmet, the echo inside like the echo in my ears from what she was saying.

  I didn't speak after, just watched her leave my darkvision as she walked off into or out of town. I wasn't sure. I was sad. I felt my throat clench up some, and my cheeks heat up. Yeah, she was gorgeous, and one hell of a fighter, and she'd saved my life and possibly my survival in this realm, but she left just like that?

  Damn.

  I shouldered the bag of money, before getting a better look at the shop in front of me. It was a merchant's- a surprisingly large building with two floors, windows with products in view, and a rather grand door. Wooden, with a cobbled foundation and stairs leading to the door, assumably with a basement beneath. The lights were still on through the windows, almost inviting.

  Spending money. I had a huge shopping list- some of which were far more demanding than others. Something had been bugging me this whole time though, and that was the system pinging in my ear. It was like getting a text notification, and it had happened mid-combat too, I just couldn't hear it. But I had leveled up, and twice, at that.

  It had appeared the previous night, the same image of my character sheet popping up while I slept, in my dreams. My exp had hit both thresholds for the level-ups. 300 to get level two, 900 for level three. I was back at zero, so the encounter met my math expectations- 1200 for me and Shel. Assuming she got the same amount, I estimated she would be level three as well, if not higher given she already had some gear, likely from other adventures. It made me feel a bit better about myself knowing she and I were on similar levels. I chose to level into wizard- my goal from the beginning. It was even nicer I'd leveled up twice, as it meant more health, namely, as well as new spells and abilities. I'd go over them properly once I got back to the inn for the night, but for now, shopping.

  I walked up the stairs, hooves on stone, before pulling open the door and stepping inside.

  Braziers hanging from the boards across the ceiling lit the room. Wall to wall were shelves and racks of all sorts of items. Tools, armor, weapons, trinkets, bits and bobs, clothes- almost any mundane item or thing one could need. I gazed at the merchandise, stunned. My jaw nearly hit the floor- it was true, shops like this did exist.

  Across from the doorway where I stood, was the front desk, a few candles lit on it, dripping wax into clay stands. Sitting there was a pencil-thin man with a mustache and bald head. Glasses, the ones that shield one's eyes from another's gaze, rested on the bridge of a crooked nose. He had his chin resting in his hand, the other hand drumming fingers across the wood in a rhythm. As I stepped in, he snapped his fingers, and a mage hand flew from behind him over to a music box- cranking it a few times before it started to play a small tune. Almost like elevator music, it began to fill the room with sound. An invisible force, which I assumed immediately was an unseen servant, began to play on a piano a bit behind the front desk. I was amazed. While I looked in awe, the man just gestured lazily to a wood basket beside the door, which I hastily picked up.

  "Find what you'd like and get out. I'm trying to close up shop." He said with a gruff, before going back to drumming his fingers.

  Still caught in shock, I cleared my throat and nodded, before grabbing one of the baskets and roaming the shelves. I went along, grabbing what I needed. An enduring spellbook, ink, a quill. A set of breastplate armor, two daggers and associated scabbards, bags of caltrops, bags of ball bearings, smith's tools, cobbler's tools, and two component pouches. Finally, god bless they had it in stock- a bag of holding.

  I hauled the items up to the counter, dropping the pile onto the wood before the man, and doing the same with the bag of money I carried.

  "I'd like these, please," I said. "Do you know Shel? She was in here before me."

  "I do." He said, before looking over the items and giving me a glance over too- from what I could tell he was checking if I had stuffed anything in my pockets. I hadn't.

  "As a close friend of hers, do you think you could give me a bit of a discount? She would have died if I weren't with her getting all this stuff." I said, trying to sneak a bit more coinage.

  He slowed his movements before he began sifting through the coins in the giant sack of gold.

  "...Sure. Just don't tell anyone I let you buy here, got it?"

  "Yes sir, won't tell a soul."

  "Good. Now take your things and get out of my shop." He said, almost angrily.

  I scooped up the bag of holding, now containing much of my belongings, and quickly left the building. I stopped in the street outside, holding the bag as if it were my child. I took off my backpack and dumped everything inside into the bag of holding. It was a very simple-looking bag, aside from the color. A deep velvet, the smooth schoolbag-sized pack had a singular opening at the top, two feet in diameter. It was maybe only two feet large in any direction, but no matter what from my bag or what I just bought that I dumped in, it didn't look any heavier, nor did the shape of the bag change. Dumbfounded, I shoved my entire backpack inside, and still, nothing.

  With glee, I hauled the bag onto my shoulder. It was only 15 pounds, and I could hold hundreds more inside without ever having to worry about it. With 174 gold pieces left, I still had a healthy fund of gold. Things were looking up. Smiling, I almost weightlessly flew towards the inn and swooped into the bedroom I still had another night at to rest up.

  I dropped my bag of holding to the floor, taking off my clothes and dropping them in the bag as well, before passing out inside my own blanket instead of the crappy sheet offered by the inn. Sighing, I passed out, drifting off to unconsciousness.

  ...

  I woke up in that same void. With my belongings, but now yet again in front of that same character sheet screen. I looked up at my level, and it read 3- I was still a level 1 cleric, but now I had two levels to dump into other classes. My class bar, as well as my hitpoints, hit dice, spell sheet, inventory, features and traits, weapons and attacks, money, and more, were highlighted in a faint yellow.

  First, my inventory was updated to reflect what I owned. It had even sorted it out some, to show what I had inside my bag of holding and what was on my person. My money was the same. What had gone from 1009 gold pieces went down to 174. Not a bad thing, since it was multiple times more than what I had coming out of the inn. I was well away from getting my first actual abode to myself, but it was something.

  Then came my class. I dumped both levels into wizard. This would not only give me a subclass, or 'school' of wizardry, but it would give me the ability to copy spells into my spellbook and have an easier time writing spell scrolls. This was an expensive endeavor, and one that would require time, but would let me use many more spells a day than normal. I went to the school of Chronurgy, or 'time' magic. While necromancy would be interesting, namely taking command over various undead at later levels and allowing me to raise more servants for use in combat and the like, Chronurgy had its advantages over such things.

  This gave me access to a few new features, which appeared on my sheet shortly after. I already had ritual casting, which let me cast certain spells for free if I devoted more time to them. I also got arcane recovery, which if I spent a certain amount of time I could recover expended spell slots during a shorter rest period than a long resting period. With the school I chose, I got chronal shift and temporal awareness. Similar to how my peace domain features gave me the ability to essentially 'bless' another person without blessing them, this gave me a slightly weaker lucky feat, letting me change fate within the same radius as my peace domain feature. Temporal awareness gave me the slightest bit of foresight- foresight was an extremely high-tier spell that could give a person advantage on everything for a small period, given they could see into the future partially. Temporal awareness was similar, albeit dramatically less potent. It let me catch glimpses of what would happen, albeit only a few seconds in advance, and only when a fight would roll around. As I had learned just recently though, a few seconds could mean life or death. The features were added to the sheet, and next came my hit dice. This was how much I could recover during a short rest, and I got some more related to the wizard class. Numbers and probability were what ruled D&D, and whoever was in charge of my chance of something sure seemed to have given me mercy. I got the d6, which was the dice related to wizards and sorcerers. 1d8 for my cleric level, and 2d6 for my wizard levels. This also correlated to my hitpoints, which, I was prompted to roll with that same dice tray as before.

  ...

  "Fuck."

  Snake eyes.

  Even with my above-average constitution, I only got six more hitpoints, leaving me with sixteen. I doubted this was much more than what Shel had to begin with at level one. This left me at sixteen hitpoints compared to my starting ten, a pathetic increase for two levels.

  I moved over to my spell sheet, which would no doubt boost my mood. I got more cantrips, spell slots, and spells, thank Eldath.

  I now had four first-level slots and two second-level slots. I picked up cantrips like Firebolt, Ray of FrostFrost, and Minor Illusion, as well as first-level spells like absorb elements, find familiar, unseen servant, magnify gravity, silvery barbs, shield, detect magic, and gift of alacrity. Wizards got access to a wonderful amount of spells, and while I didn't take any second-level spells just yet, I needed to get these out of the way beforehand.

  Firebolt was a stronger, longer-range instance of produce flame, in essence, although much better at igniting objects as well. Ray of frost was cold damage- not only could I freeze food or small amounts of water as some basic utility, but it could slow down targets substantially, which could prove useful in a chase or if I encountered a fire-resistant enemy. Minor illusion was incredibly versatile- it could make sounds or images up to five feet by five feet in size and would last a full minute. I'd need to be creative with the use, but would no doubt prove handy. Absorb elements would let me reduce non-physical damage, which would help with dangerous traps, poisons, acids, or the unlikely dragon. Find familiar would allow me to conjure a tiny animal companion, such as a bat or an owl. I could send it to different places and accomplish different tasks, and I could also use its senses to help me explore, given they were expendable and re-summonable. Unseen servant was similar, and was what I saw when in the merchant's shop. I could conjure an invisible force that could do tasks for me and follow me around. I could have it work with tools, carry things, pull levers, or trip traps- it gave me essentially another body to work with that was immune to everything. Shield was similar to absorb elements in that I could react to something coming and possibly negate it, simply creating a special barrier to put in the way of an attack. Magnify gravity was the one offensive spell I had taken- kinda like telekinetics, but very literally making the gravity so dense in a small pocket it could crush people and make it impossible to move objects nobody held onto, not to mention if someone survived they'd be slowed down dramatically. Detect magic was straightforward- within a certain radius while I had it active I could sense magic around me, as well as the school of origin. Thermal vision for magic stuff. Silvery barbs was yet another reactive spell- allowing me to use the lucky feat at will. Essentially, if I anticipated someone was going to hurt me or an ally, I could modify fate and circumstances with magic, and make it harder for them to succeed. At the same time, it could give an ally the same amount of 'luck' just stolen. Gift of alacrity was like a spell's version of chronal shift and the alert feat I had. It made someone more energetic, jumpy, and instinctual than normal, and for nearly a full workday. With this, chronal shift, my alert feat, guidance, and my own bonus to initiative, there was no doubt in my mind it would be impossible for someone to get the jump on me.

  Everything was up to date, and I checked my appearance and descriptive stats again. I'd lost two pounds in the week I had been here- I suppose moving around and working as much as I did was getting me to lose weight. I didn't look or feel much thinner, so maybe it was water weight? I had no clue.

  I submitted 'finish' underneath the last page, before waking up yet again.

  This was when I woke up to a big lump underneath my blanket, and something with big ears...