Chapter 1: Wet Fly
The truck was charging up the ramp when Hayato glanced left and right, made zero sense of it, and threw himself forward like a human cannonball. His head smashed the windshield, then slid down like a wet fly.
“Cut, cut!” the director yelled, losing his mind. “Not toward the truck, genius! You jump to the other side!”
Hayato bounced off the ground, dusted himself off, rubbed his forehead, and shot the director a sheepish, guilty look.
“Oh… right. Sorry, got a little excited there.”
“That’s why I hate working with amateurs,” the director muttered, chugging his coffee in one go, face a perfect mix of exhaustion and existential despair.
Chapter 2: Side Kick
Goddess Desira was deep into her book. Hayato sat cross legged in front of her, staring with the blank face of a man whose soul had left his body. Being this close to her beauty was clearly too much for him.
Desira lifted her leg to stretch and switch her pose. But the leg stopped in mid air and refused to go anywhere.
“Oh. Cramp! Cramp!” she yelled.
Hayato jumped up in panic and tried to gently bend her leg. Desira twisted in pain and grabbed his hair, pulling it hard. They had fully forgotten they were on a set.
“Fifteen minute break.” The director clapped his empty coffee cup, stood up, turned, and tossed it into the trash as he walked away, looking deeply betrayed by life.
Chapter 3: Stolen Door
Hayato stood next to the goddess, holding the book in his hands. Behind the door in the white room was the God of Justice. He held the door handle and braced himself.
“I think we should look at this once more. We may have missed something… who knows.” Hayato said.
“Desira—”
The moment the god opened the door, an unbearably horrible, painful screech poured out and filled the room like a curse.
“Stop!” the director yelled, clutching his ear. “Do not touch that damn door again. Did you steal it from a junk shop? Is our budget really this dead?” He slammed the script on the table and stormed out, furious and half deaf.
Chapter 4: Lead Actor
Hayato collapsed in front of the pile made of his lifetime ecchi manga collection. He grabbed one book and was about to throw it into the endless void ahead. But it slipped from his hand and smacked straight into the Demon Lord’s head.
He had been bored, checking his watch, waiting for the shoot to end. That book was the last straw. He charged at Hayato and reached him in two huge steps. He formed a massive fireball, ready to drop it on Hayato’s stupid head. The crew rushed in and barely held him back, grabbing his arms and legs.
“Let go! I said let go! I’m done with this!” he roared.
“Sir, he is the lead actor, please calm down!”
Chapter 5: Eat Whole
As Hayato tried to run, the turtle opened its mouth way too wide and swallowed him in one clean move, from waist up. Inside, Hayato made sounds no one could describe.
“Whelp— Wholp!”
“Cut, cut!” the director yelled. “What are you doing, for the sake of god!”
The crew ran in. Some grabbed Hayato by the legs and pulled. Others tried to pry the turtle’s mouth open. The turtle looked at the director, confused, then opened its mouth. Hayato dropped out, covered in saliva, gasping.
“What?” the turtle said. “Was I not supposed to stop him?”
“I said stop him,” the director screamed, veins popping. “Not eat him!”
Chapter 6: Lovely Hug
Midori pulled Hayato toward her, smashed his head into her generously dramatic chest, delivered her line like a professional, and waited for his answer. Nothing. Hayato was fully gone, he clearly forgot his line.
“What? What does this have to do with me?” whispered a crew member, desperately reading the line off the script to remind him where they were.
“Huh? What happened?” Hayato mumbled, waking up three business days late.
“Cut!” the director jumped up and yelled. “How many times are we doing this scene? Yes, we all get it, you love hugging people. Now say your two-word line so we can all go home!”
Chapter 7: Snoozy Respect
The old man was kneeling in front of Hayato and Midori, gripping his cane like it was a lifeline, wobbling hard. Hayato leaned forward, touching his shoulder.
“Ah, sorry, but you really don’t need to bow—”
He stopped mid-sentence and waited. But the old man didn’t move. According to the script, he was supposed to suddenly stand, smack his head into Hayato’s, and make a scene. Instead, he just stayed there.
“Sir?” Hayato squinted, kneeling down, staring into the old man’s eyes. Then he spun toward the director. “Um… is he… asleep?”
“What?!” The director leapt up. “Cut! Damn it!”
Chapter 8: Proper Slap
Midori had just barely stopped Hayato from throttling the old man. Hayato shot her an angry glare. She raised her hand, stretched it fully and delivered a proper slap.
The hit was so vicious that Hayato’s feet left the floor. He spun around, stumbled, and hit the window, dangling by his torso. Just as he was about to crash down, Midori and the old man grabbed his legs and saved him at the last second.
“Cut!” the director barked. “For God’s sake, Midori, what the hell was that?”
“Sir, the script says a hard slap—”
“A hard slap is far from sending the main character to the next world!”
Chapter 9: Undressing Struggle
Hayato had stripped off his top and was about to pull down his pants when he froze. The demon tailor bent down politely.
“Need some help, my lord?” he asked.
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Hayato didn’t say a word. He just stood there, frozen, his face turning redder by the second.
“Come on, son, we’re waiting!” the director shouted through the megaphone. “Hayato, you there?”
“Uh… yes… sorry… I can’t…”
“Why? No underwear?”
“I… do… uh…”
“Then pull it down!”
“O-okay…” Hayato hesitated, then lowered his pants.
Beneath, red underwear with white hearts sparkled under the lights. His face, though, was even redder. The whole set collapsed into laughter, falling onto the floor in chaos, including the director.
Chapter 10: Unexpected Fireball
General Takeda, tired and grumpy, rode a huge, wild boar at sunset, heading toward the demon town with four other guys lined up behind him. Suddenly a massive fireball shot toward them, ripping through the sky.
“Cut! Cut!” the director screamed at the sky. But the fireball didn’t care.
The fireball roared past so close it made the ground and sky shake. Flames scorched the earth like a fiery carpet, and the shockwave sent all the soldiers flying meters back. Cameras, lights, and the entire set went flying.
“Damn you, Hayatooo!” the director yelled, one foot pinned under a fallen spotlight.
Chapter 11: Stone Trouble
The rock Hayato was hiding behind had already shot up into the sky, standing right at the top. Its shadow fell over him like a cold, certain death. Without a word, Midori swiped her hand, and the rock came crashing down on him.
But just as he tried to dodge, he twisted his ankle and froze on the spot. The rock slammed right on him. Under it, only two arms and one leg stuck out, flailing frantically.
“Aaah! I’m dying! Everything hurts! I can’t feel my leg!”
“Cut!” shouted the director. “Get up! Nothing happened, dummy. That’s a cardboard rock. It’s just a prop, relax!”
Chapter 12: Spinning Cane
Hayato ran at Midori with the flaming rock behind him. Just as he was about to reach her, he stepped on a pebble and face-planted onto the ground. Midori’s careless attitude made him furious, and he did something the script never called for.
He grabbed both of Midori’s legs and yanked them toward himself. As she fell backward, she tried to grab the old man for balance, but her hand hit his cane and sent it flying instead. Midori, though, managed to catch the old man’s arm at the last second and saved herself from falling.
“Ouch!”
The flying cane spinned and fell perfectly straight, landing at an impossible angle right on Hayato’s butt, proving just how fast karma can strike.
Chapter 13: Missing Dog
Hayato had already taken down one of the six dogs. The other four stared at him. Then he remembered his math teacher again. He looked left. He looked right. Where was the missing dog. He prayed. Please let Midori still be whole.
But what he saw was worse than he expected. The dog was happily licking Midori’s face. It had its paws on her chest, bouncing up and down. Its tail wagged in full play mode.
“What the—”
“Cut!” the director barked. “Get that damn dog out of here. Bring another one. A wild one!”
Chapter 14: Stubborn Fire
Hayato rubbed two twigs together, trying to make fire. Midori watched him with a tired look, trying to figure out why he picked cave man tricks instead of magic. But his breathing sped up. He ignored the pain and went all in. He never doubted for one second that this fire would burn.
She stared at him, exhausted. “What are you even doing?”
“J-just a sec…” Hayato said, glancing at her. Then he heard the crackle. His eyes lit up. He turned fast. “See, it worked—”
The sentence died, left his mouth. Because someone from the crew had walked in and lit the fire with a lighter.
“Director says we don’t have time,” he said, clearly done with life. “We will fix it in editing.”
Chapter 15: Flames Everywhere
Hayato tried to pull in the loose mana around him out in the wasteland. Somehow, it worked. He raised the flaming katana high and started swinging it left and right like a kid who just found a stick.
“I did it! I knew it would work—”
Before long, he realized that something was wrong. He hadn’t gathered enough mana. The sword looked sick and broken. Fire chunks fell off, hit the ground, and started several small fires around him.
“Aaah!”
Seconds later, Hayato was running in circles while his clothes burned. He dropped to the ground. Rolled back and forth. Dignity gone. Soul screaming. Peace returned only when someone from the set dumped a bucket of water on him.
Chapter, 16: Unexpected Attack
As soon as Midori finished her wooden shell, Hayato jumped from the rock above, ready to slash the giant slime with his sword. Then, in midair, his brain finally showed up with a great idea. Why not imagine the sword turning into a flaming whip.
But right as the whip was about to hit, the slime pulled the oldest trick in the book. It turned fully liquid and flattened itself like a spilled drink. Hayato’s whip slammed into the ground, bounced back, and smacked him right in the head.
“Cut!” the director lost his mind. “You stupid slime, you are supposed to take the hit, not dodge it! Where did you even learn that? Get out!” he turned to the staff, “Call the other one. Tell it to come here now.”
Chapter 17: Falling Together
Hayato sat slumped over at the library table, looking like he’d lost a fight with life itself. Midori tried to cheer him up with a joke, but all she did was rub salt in the wound.
“What’s that? Planning to dry up and shrivel like the old—”
Before she could even finish, Hayato spun around, grabbed her arm, and shoved her back.
“That’s not funny—”
He didn’t even get the chance to finish his line. Midori wobbled in her chair, flailing her arms like a baby bird, and in a panic, she grabbed a handful of Hayato’s hair. They both went down in a spectacular heap. Hayato landed on top of her like a falling sack of flour.
“Cut!” the director exploded, “It's always you two!”
Chapter 18: Boar Marathon
Hayato had just dragged the boar back, crashing it into the stacks of hay and barrels behind him. As he brushed the straws off himself, the soldier continued giving instructions.
“…the boar goes backward. And if you pull once—”
Hayato didn’t wait. He yanked the reins. The boar shot forward like an arrow into the crowd. One more tug, and it went even faster. Another tug, now it was slicing through the crowd like a living knife. Hayato and the boar tore out of the town gate, leaving chaos behind, his voice barely catching up.
“Now what?!”
Chapter 19: Spiders Behind
As Hayato was opening the spider cocoons one by one, a sudden, terrifying sound from behind made his soul almost leave his body and drift up into the sky. He froze, face pale as chalk.
He slowly turned… only to find… nothing. Everyone else on set had gone on lunch break, and apparently, no one thought to tell him the scene was already over. He lifted his head, and there was Midori behind him, holding a jumbo bag of chips, stuffing her face like a savage, clearly enjoying watching him squirm.
“Go on…” she said, munching, mouth full, “you froze right at the best part.”
Chapter 20: Surprise Cocoon
When Hayato reached the last cocoon and tried to open it, it suddenly burst. He jumped back in shock, lost his balance, and landed hard on his backside, curling up with his arms over his face in panic.
“Boo!”
Inside the cocoon, there was Midori. She stepped out, swinging her arms like a zombie, shuffling toward him to scare him. Hayato just looked at her with a tired, fed-up expression, the kind only someone who’s filmed this scene fifty times can manage.
“Cut!” the director shouted. “Damn it, Midori! When did you even get in there? People, can we please act serious!”
Chapter 21: Thing Behind
Hayato and Midori were sitting back-to-back in the hot spring, chatting. Out of nowhere, he felt a strange warmth on his back. His face turned red, but he didn’t dare look behind him. Then it moved to his neck and hair. This time it felt hairy and gross, making his skin crawl.
At first, he thought it was just Midori’s hair, until sticky liquid dripped onto his neck. Gathering all his courage, he slowly turned around, and froze. The thing was actually a human-sized spider. Hayato screamed, flinging water at it while trying to escape.
“Ahhh! Cut! Director!”
Chapter 22: Little Spider
Hayato and Midori were just about to leave the cave when a tiny, palm-sized spider leapt out of nowhere. Midori took two steps forward, drew her leg back, and prepared to deliver a solid kick that would send the spider plastering against the wall.
Instead, she stepped in some sticky goo and went sliding across the floor, somehow managing to kick the spider again mid-flop. The little thing, clearly not a fan of gravity, bounced forward and smacked straight onto Hayato’s face, clinging on for dear life.
"Ahh! Ahh! Help!"
Chapter 23: Boar Slap
Before Midori and Hayato could teleport at the foot of the mountain, she decided she had to deal with the boar and send it back to town. She pulled her hand back and slapped it hard on the rear.
The boar screamed in pain, bounced off crazily, and started running circles, knocking over lights, tables, and basically turning the set into a battlefield. Then it charged the director, knocked him on his backside, stomped on his stomach for good measure, and vanished into the chaos.
"C-cut—" the director gasped, clutching his belly, trying desperately to stay professional before he fainted from pain.
Chapter 24: Down Stairs
Hayato was tiptoeing through the mysterious cave of the mountain, trying not to trip over scattered skeletons and armor pieces, while inching toward a deep hole, curious what was waiting down there.
"Oh my god!" Midori suddenly shouted, holding up a skeleton’s glittering ring like she’d just found treasure.
Hayato, thinking she’d spotted danger, spun around fast. The skeleton he was stepping on wobbled. He slipped, and with a sad little tumble, slid down the ladder leaning against the cave wall, plunging toward the void.
"Ahh! Ohh! Uhh! Ahh! Ohh…”
Chapter 25: Massive Sneeze
Hayato couldn’t take it anymore. The massive dragon in front of him was trampling countless precious flowers like they were nothing. He finally shouted, and the dragon turned its attention to him, ready to deliver some fearsome roar. Instead, it sneezed; once, twice, then with full force.
But this wasn’t just a little sneeze. Every bit of snot and gunk in its lungs shot out onto Hayato like a truckload of slime. He flailed and thrashed, sinking and slipping as if he were drowning in a swamp, gasping for his life.
"Gulp… Hey… Whelp… Gulp…”
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