Expectations.

  Good grades. Maximum effort. Contribution. Something. There have always been expectations.

  Until now. Now no one is expecting anything. Our kidnappers have sidelined us. Put us in a box on a shelf and left us to our own devices. They don’t want anything from us except for us to go away. Even that is a nebulous future prospect.

  That really puts us in the hot seat. If others aren’t telling us what to do, then what should we do? For the first time in our young lives, we had to figure it out for ourselves.

  Confusing. Many of the things we once held to be important no longer applied. Many of the paths to success which we had taken for granted were now denied us.

  And what was waiting in the dark to blindside us? We were starting to understand why Nix is always so fearful. There were a lot of unknowns and you literally can’t know what you don’t know. We were adrift and rudderless. Who would step up and how?

  I’m the first one to awaken in the morning. Drenched in sweat, exhausted and somehow PAIN FREE!!!!! I jump out of bed and start doing a little dance. Thankfully Nix is still asleep and no one sees me.

  I’ve lived with this phantom pain - which no one can measure and no one can explain - my whole life. There were many times when I was accused of making the whole thing up. Eventually my parents and the rest of my family came to disbelieve me. That’s how I ended up where I was. They sent me off to a private boarding school to get rid of me. Sweep me under the rug. None of that matters any more.

  The pain is gone. For how long, I don’t know. My memories of the dream - of the Trial - are a bit hazy. I was promised knowledge, I was promised surcease from pain. This much I remember.

  Also a great kiss. That was a condition. I don’t know how long this pain-free bliss will last, but I’d better start lining up the next kiss now.

  See? It’s not because I’m a total horn-dog Kari. Giving my attention to women is now simply a necessary condition for me to live life normally.

  I wake with a heavy feeling. The dream, the so-called Trial, weighing on my mind. I feel like crying. Touching my face, I realize that I am crying. Was it real? Did that dream reveal a truth that has redefined my existence? I run my tongue across the backs of my teeth. Feel the needle sharp tips of hidden fangs. I wipe the tears from my face and try to think.

  Last night, even if only in a dream, I killed for the first time. But that’s not what’s so horrifying. I’ve changed. The horrifying thing is the fact that I feel I should be horrified but I’m not. I killed. I stole the life from living beings in order to overcome my weakness. Shouldn’t I feel remorse?

  I should. I should! I SHOULD!

  But I don’t. That’s what’s so horrifying. The calm, rational acceptance of a new paradigm. I should be horrified, but I’m not. I cry for my lost innocence.

  Until something even more terrifying occurs to me.

  No! I cry to myself, No no no no no no no! It’s not fair! I want to scream as the realization sets in. Something that would have hit me last night if I hadn’t been so tired.

  I am now the officially elected leader of our group. Of the Accursed. I now have responsibility for a whole herd of dumb bunnies whom I must corral and push in a unified direction. What did I do to deserve this God, er… Gods, er … whatever? Surely there must be some mistake or failing in my past which I can point a finger at as the cause? Perhaps even a wag or a shake?

  I get up and get ready for the day. It’s time for me to accept my fate - whatever it may be, in all its aspects - and take control.

  ###

  We gather in our little conference room early. Well before the time the maids normally come for us. Everybody looks like crap. Everybody looks excited. I flick my tongue across my teeth. Find the four that feel slightly different. Slightly sharp. Slightly pointy. Definitely different from the others.

  We’re all holding secrets now. Everyone has admitted that they experienced a Trial. But it’s a little too fresh and painful to talk about. Kari is as hyper and bouncy as always. Nix looks positively haunted. Rio looks happy as hell. Saki just keeps signing, I saw them, I saw them, I saw them, over and over.

  I knock on the table to get everyone’s attention. “Nix!” He jumps a bit in his chair. “We are currently living in a country called Grado. What political system controls Grado?”

  “Er … It’s a Kingdom? I think?”

  “Kari! Are women allowed to own property in Grado?”

  “Um. Dunno.”

  “Rio! Can a man legally have a harem in Grado?”

  “I do not know. And just for the record I don’t want a harem.”

  Nix tentatively raises a hand, “I would like to have a harem. If one’s available…” Saki reaches over and flicks him on the forehead.

  “No jokes,” I say even though I started it. “Saki! How far is it from here to the next city? To the next country?”

  She signs ignorance. I can see on her face that she’s getting my point.

  “Up until now, we have been letting ourselves be swept along by events. By other people’s agendas. We have let shock and grief deaden our responses. We’ve let excitement at the idea of magic and exploring a new world dampen our common sense. That needs to stop. Now.”

  This novel is published on a different platform. Support the original author by finding the official source.

  They all look a little abashed. For all that we’re called the broken ones, this is an elite group. The smartest and mentally strongest of all the summoned. We have a problem to solve and that is just the sort of thing that excites us. We’ve all been acting mopey and depressed. It ends now.

  “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do,” I say. “We haven’t been treated badly, but from now on we have to assume this is a hostile environment. Our ultimate goal is to prepare ourselves for life in Emulgren and to remove ourselves from the Palace. We need a list of questions. Anything that we think is relevant. Rio, you are in charge of directing the discussion.” I pause and look at him. He nods his assent.

  “Saki, you are in charge of recording all of the questions.”

  Why do I always have to be the one who writes everything down? She signs, a mulish look on her face.

  ““““Because you always write everything down anyway!”””” we all say at the same time. Everybody laughs.

  “Get to work! The maids will be here in about an hour.” I watch as they all get to work. It doesn’t surprise any of us when Saki whips out a paper with dozens of questions already on it. Kari reads them out and then we start adding more.

  I really love these guys. They’re the best friends a girl could ask for.

  Breakfast will start soon. I wonder if they’ll serve blood?

  I draw my bow and hold it, sighting in on my target and waiting for the command to fire. It comes and we release.

  Arrows thud into targets. A few go wide or fall short. I’m not worried about that. It’s early days yet and some of our fire support group are new to archery.

  What I’m worried about is that we aren’t really a group. As a Great Saint, I’ve been assigned to be a leader of a squad of Heroes and Saints. Formerly my classmates, they have been chosen according to criteria which have not been explained to me and which I find bizarre.

  My squad has one swordsman with a great shield. Two other fighters wielding shields and spears. Two mages who as of yet don’t know how to use Magic, and someone who I have to assume is meant to be a scout. There is another archer who also carries a short sword.

  It baffles me. We’re organized like some sort of party in an adventure game. But we’re supposed to be acting as a squad on a battlefield with traditional armies. It just doesn’t seem like we’re set up right for that.

  Plus now, since we have a disparate collection of roles within the squad, we’re not even training together. The squads have been pulled apart for training according to our supposed roles.

  I’m not happy but I don’t know what to do about it or who to talk to. I tried talking to our advisor, Master Sergeant Jenna, but she said I’d need to talk to Commander Travess.

  Commander Travess has been watching over us but it’s hard to talk to him while we’re busy training. When we’re not busy training, Great Hero Ettiene is monopolizing his time. By which I mean the Great Dick is up to his usual tactics of self-promotion and ass-kissing.

  I really don’t like Ettiene. Nobody does. It’s not hard to predict things going horribly wrong if he ends up in command of a larger group. I normally wouldn’t care, but lives are at stake now. I don’t want to see my friends hurt and I definitely don’t want to get hurt myself.

  I’ll talk to Altan and Tia later today. Maybe they’ll have some ideas.

  Talk about a big disappointment. I gots me a really cool book and I can’t even read it. That damn dragon. See if I don’t punch him in the nose again next time I see him. He gypped me!

  Or maybe not. Saki thinks that there might be some sort of Magic that keeps me from seeing it until I’m ready. Which is silly because I’m always ready!

  So. Setting that aside, I’m now on a mission. After Addie got on her high horse about being proactive, I ended up the proud owner of a list of questions which I have no idea how to answer.

  Right now I’m standing next to the entrance of that Temple they took us to the other day. The one where they do Blessings. I’m working on answerin’ the questions we have about Heroes, Saints, and Curses. Specifically, what are they really? And why were they upset about folks they think are Cursed touching their little balls.

  Rrrhhemm!. I mean their crystal balls - the ones that light up to show what a person’s Blessing is. Don’t know what you were thinkin’ but shame on you!

  A group of priests walks out the temple door and goes down the hallway in the other direction. I sneak in the door while it’s open. Actually, I just walk in like I have every right to be there. No one notices.

  Mostly because no one’s there. I walk right down the center aisle of the church-like place I find myself in. Right to the front, around the altar and into the door behind it. I’m bold, aren’t I? Fearless Kari!

  Actually, I had noticed the day before that this is a kind of closet. Storage for junk of the religious kind. Aka treasure - possibly looking for a new owner. Probably.

  The shelves are loaded with different kinds of stuff. Mostly kinda unexciting. Candlesticks, robes, censers, random other junk.

  But finally I spot them. On one shelf, nestled together on a large velvet covered tray, are a dozen of the Blessing crystals. Oh wait, there only seem to be ten.

  There are also a few books that look kinda important. I grab those too. Rrrhhemm! I mean I borrow the books from the Temple library which I have just found here in this closet. And nothing else as might have been previously implied.

  Something seems to be wrong with my eye today. Or really something seems to be wrong in general. I used to feel guilty (briefly) whenever I acquired things which may not have previously belonged to me. Now I don’t feel at all culpable.

  I’m blaming the dragon. Dragons collect hoards. Dragons never feel guilty about anything. Don’t have a reference for that, but I asked around about them this morning and dragons are kind of the apex predator of apex predators on this world. By definition they prob’ly feel everything belongs to them by right of awesomeness.

  Since I beat up a dragon, I’m even awesomer then awesome. So I can claim anything I see by right of awesomerness. Take that. Kari the logician!

  Actually, I think I might have picked up another Curse. Curse of the Hoarder? That’s what it feels like. I want to make everything my own now. Not like before when I just wanted stuff. It’s more of a compulsion now. Like a vague feeling of needing a drink of water that never goes away. I have to constantly keep an eye on myself. Otherwise I’ll put stuff in my pockets without even realizing I’m doing it. Kari the Klepto. Go me.

  So where am I? Oh! I remember. I’m in the closet. I peek out the door. Still no one there. I walk right back out of the Temple like I own the place. Which I do. Please refer back to the previous discussion of the Right of Awesomerness.

  Kari the Tiny Dragon! That’s me.

  Okay. Tiny Giant is better. Let’s stick with that.

  Back in my room, I read through the books. Skim them at least. A lot of what’s there isn’t relevant.

  Heroes and Saints are pretty much what they told us. Heroes are a type of warrior who has been granted extra powers of one kind or another by the Gods. Likewise for Saints, only they’re more protectors than fighters. Lots of variation and overlap there, though. I’m gonna give this book to Rio to read through later. He’ll understand more of it than me.

  Unfortunately, there’s much less information on Curses. Just a coupla paragraphs. Curses come from the Gods, too. And what we originally thought isn’t right. It’s not just our disabilities that got us the label.

  Curses are like a coin. i.e. they have two sides. Something is lost and something is gained. From what Nix has told me, a good example would be that he’s lost his sight but he’s gained some other sense that lets him perceive life energy or somethin’.

  Or like me. I lost out on size but I make up for it with awesomerness!

  Something like that, anyway. This answering questions thing is exhausting. Maybe I should go for a walk? See if there’s anything out there that needs a new owner?

  I’m gonna need a room with a bigger closet.