Later, draped in soft blankets and each other, Andy and Summer sprawled across the wide couch in the living room, the lingering steam from the bath traded now for the glow of the television and the buttery scent of popcorn.

  The title screen for Monty Python and the Holy Grail flickered to life, and Summer gave a small cheer, settling in against Andy's side with the bowl of popcorn in her lap. "This is the perfect follow-up to everything," she said, resting her head against his shoulder.

  Andy grinned, already slipping into character. "'Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.'"

  Summer giggled. "'Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.'"

  He turned to her with mock gravity. "You do know that quoting Python back to me makes you more irresistible, right?"

  She popped a piece of popcorn into his mouth before answering. "I'd be disappointed if it didn't."

  The movie rolled on, and before long, they were both laughing at the absurdity of it all — Andy dramatically reciting the lines of the Black Knight, waving his arm and clutching his side like he'd lost a limb. Summer nearly doubled over when he flung a pillow at the floor, shouting, "'Tis but a scratch!"

  Midway through the film, she tossed a popcorn kernel in his direction. Without missing a beat, Andy caught it in his mouth with a triumphant grin.

  "Show-off," Summer said, laughing.

  He chewed slowly, theatrically smug. "You're lucky you're cute, or I'd charge extra for such impressive feats."

  Summer rolled her eyes, trying not to laugh through a mouthful of soda. "You're such a dork."

  "A rakish dork," Andy countered, reaching for another handful. "And let the record show — I would fight an entire horde of medieval French taunters for you."

  "Good," she said, curling tighter into his side. "Because if you don't quote 'your mother was a hamster' by the end of this, I'm breaking up with you."

  He gasped in mock horror. "You wound me, madam."

  Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.

  But twenty minutes later, when the French guard appeared on screen, Andy delivered the line with gusto — hand on his chest, eyes wild, voice absurdly accented.

  Summer laughed so hard she had to set the popcorn down.

  It was ridiculous and warm and silly in all the right ways. And as the credits rolled, Andy kissed the top of her head and murmured, "Best date weekend ever."

  They moved through their quiet evening routine with an easy intimacy. Summer had stolen one of Andy's shirts to sleep in — one of the ultra-soft, worn-in black ones that fit her like a nightdress and still smelled faintly like him. He wasn't complaining. He only seemed to grow more smug each time he looked at her in it.

  They wandered into the bathroom together, brushing their teeth in sync like they'd been doing it for years. Summer caught his eye in the mirror, narrowing hers like she was inspecting him.

  Andy arched an eyebrow with his toothbrush still in his mouth. "What?"

  She finished rinsing, then pointed an accusing finger at him, mock-serious. "I demand an explanation."

  He leaned on the counter, smirking. "For?"

  "No one gets to be this hot, this nerdy, and this sweet. One of those, sure. Maybe two if the universe is feeling generous. But you? You catch popcorn in your mouth, quote Monty Python from memory, get genuinely excited about Regency library roleplay, and then you go and brush my hair and make me feel like the protagonist in a fairy tale — what the hell, Andy."

  He blinked once, then burst out laughing.

  "I'm serious!" she said, though she was smiling too hard to sell it. "You've completely broken the rules of reality. You should be illegal! There has to be a law."

  He took a slow step toward her, clearly enjoying himself. "Then arrest me, officer. Lock me up. Throw away the key."

  She groaned. "You would make that sexy."

  "I'm a menace," he said, sliding his hands to her hips. "A charming, book-loving, slightly unhinged menace with excellent taste in women."

  Summer let her forehead drop to his bare shoulder, laughing softly. "You're not real."

  Andy rested his chin lightly on her head, wrapping his arms around her. "I am. I'm very real. And I'm all yours. And if loving Monty Python and courtly seduction in equal measure makes me a criminal — " he tilted his head, whispering in her ear — "then baby, cuff me."

  She let out a wheezing laugh and smacked his chest lightly. "Stop being so attractive while saying that. It's very confusing."

  He kissed her forehead. "Good. Keep you guessing."

  Still giggling, she let him guide her toward the bed. "Tomorrow I'm filing a complaint with the Hot Nerd Enforcement Agency."

  "I'll represent myself in court," Andy said, tugging back the covers with a flourish. "And seduce the jury."

  "You would."

  "Sleep first," he said, climbing in beside her. "Crimes against plausibility later."

  She snuggled in close as he turned off the lights, still smiling, and whispered, "I love you, you ridiculous man."

  Andy kissed her hair and held her tighter. "I love you more, you brilliant woman. Sleep now, I have a lot of legally questionable affection to lavish on you tomorrow. And you haven't even seen the Star Wars impressions yet."