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Book 1 Chapter 4: Chanter, the Bombastic Busker

  I swallowed and took a deep breath as we approached a small set of stairs. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you.”

  A wooden door stood at the end of a short hallway at the base of the stairs. The door was carved into the shape of a face, if a tree had a face. Branches and foliage wove into a beard and eyebrows. The eyes and mouth were closed. As we approached, I could hear it breathing gently.

  “Hold out yer hand and voice yer intent ter take the exam,” Helga whispered. I held out my hand, about half a foot from the door.

  “My name is Chanter and I am here to take the class examination.”

  The face on the door opened its eyes and yawned, looking from me to Helga. It opened its mouth, and a green frond unfurled, a glistening, clear, fist-sized gem at its tip.

  “Put yer hand on it.”

  I did as instructed, placing the palm of my right hand on the orb. It felt wet and warm. I felt a pressure then a sharp stab of pain and saw my blood swirling into the crystal. I tried pulling my hand back, and felt a moment of panic as it felt glued to the stone. After a second, my hand came free with an audible pop, and I stumbled backwards.

  The crystal rolled back up into the frond and the mouth closed, then smiled. The smiling face winked before closing its eyes. A vertical seam appeared down the center of the door and it swung inward into a dark, circular room.

  “Hell, Old Father musta liked you! Been years since I seen that kinda reaction from him. This should be good. On ya go, in, in.”

  I walked into the room, Helga following. She stepped to the side after entering and leaned against the wall with a smile.

  “Now lad, know I can’t intervene or help ya in any way. If ya die, ya die. I’m just here ta make sure what kills ya dont be comin out to kill anyone else. And ta get rid of yer body. But don't be worried ‘bout that — ye’ll be fine! Trust in yerself.”

  “I keep hearing about how deadly this test is. Is it really that dangerous?” I was getting nervous.

  “Aye, adventuring life is dangerous, lad. But that don’t mean it's impossible. Been a long time since I seen someone die taking the exam. Months. Maybe going on a year now. Usually only happens once a year or so — it's due to happen soon. But that don’t mean it’ll be you! You’re sure to be fine! Just take it seriously, ya hear?”

  “Right, right, seriously,” I said as I looked around the circular chamber. High overhead, thirty or so feet up, was an earthen ceiling streaked with thick roots. The outer rim of the room also consisted of large roots that wove to form a rough wall. The room was empty, aside from a few braziers that shone with magical flames.

  I stepped toward the center, and a stone table rose from the ground. Seven items lay on the table. A spear, a short sword laying over a buckler, a bow, a wand, a gnarled wooden staff, and a battered lute with at least one broken string. As I approached the table, I heard Helga gasp.

  “All seven! Lad! You got some potential in ya!” her voice jumped an octave as I glanced around at her. “Oy! Watch out!”

  A section of roots on the far wall spread apart, opening a swirling portal of green and blue energy. Three small figures emerged from the portal, screaming and waving large knobby sticks with protrusions that appeared to be sharpened wood. They glanced around the room for a moment. All three sets of eyes locked on me and they resumed their screams, charging.

  The creatures stood just over waist-high, and wore clothing made from patched fur and large leaves. They were bipedal wolves with opposable thumbs, and they were pissed. Foam spittle flew from their jowls. Their fur was three different shades of grey and brown.

  They were halfway across the room before I broke free from the shock of their appearance, and moved towards the table.

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  Adrenaline flooded my veins and I lost my fine motor skills. I reached for the spear and sent it careening off the front of the table. It clattered to the ground as I reached for the wand. I lifted it and flicked it towards the approaching creatures, which were labelled as Forest Kobolds.

  Sparks fizzled out of the wand. Nothing else happened. I panicked and threw the wand at the closest kobold, which was ten feet away.

  The wand flipped through the air before smacking it across the face, breaking with a detonation of magic that knocked me over, sent all of the items on the table flying off at odd angles, and showered gore in a twenty-foot circle around where the kobold had been.

  The second-closest creature had been close enough to be caught up in the explosion, and was missing a large portion of its body. A bloody pair of legs and part of a torso lay against the edge of the table.

  The third kobold was badly wounded. Its stick had been blown back and impaled it in the face, taking an eye out. The one-eyed kobold stumbled for a moment, but regained its composure and lifted its staff as it charged at me. A health bar flashed above its head — red and nearly gone.

  I looked around and saw the battered lute laying nearby. I reached out and gripped the neck of the lute, swinging it like a club as the kobold approached. It swung at me at the same time, but it missed its swing. I didn’t. The side of the kobold’s head collapsed under the lute with a sickening crunch that made my stomach lurch. It fell lifelessly to the ground. A notification appeared.

  Instrumental Battery skill unlocked! (1/50)

  Quest Updated! Survive the Adventurer’s Guild Class Selection Examination and be assigned a new class! Congratulations! You survived round one! But that is not how lutes are supposed to be used. Come on, you can do better than that! Prepare yourself for round two!

  The weapons and corpses sank into the ground.

  I looked down at the lute in my hands and sighed. While it didn’t hold the deadly edge of the sword or spear, it did feel right.

  I flipped it around and held it correctly, and something clicked. I felt an affinity for the lute.

  Class selected! Bombastic Busker! This musical entertainer excels at explosions and inspiration! No party is complete without the pyrokinetic fireworks of a Bombastic Busker! This is a Bard class.

  Grants enhanced explosion size and radius, and a skill, Beginner’s Luck.

  Beginner’s Luck: Guaranteed success on the first performance of a song.

  Something materialized on the table, illuminated for a moment by a pillar of light and accompanied by the gentle sound of chimes. A single sheet of paper. The paper contained music — a bardic song.

  I'd never learned how to read music in the real world. I couldn’t hold a tune, and my rhythm was terrible, but this parchment made sense. I could read it.

  Kinetic Overload. Stringed Instrument Motif.

  Successful completion of this motif grants the Kinetic Overload buff to the performer’s target for 20 seconds. Enchants the target with four charges. Impact releases charges based on the intent of the wielder. Charges deal explosive damage upon impact. Objects infused with Kinetic Overload may be destroyed, and only one instance of Kinetic Overload can be maintained at a time.

  Songs do not consume mana, instead acting as ritual spells that require performance completion. The strength of the song is based on the quality of the performance.

  Learn Kinetic Overload?

  I selected ‘yes,’ and the paper disintegrated into countless pixels as the knowledge filled my mind.

  Stringed Instrument skill obtained! (1/50)

  Kinetic Overload added to Song Repertoire.

  My mind raced with implications and ways that I could use this skill. I knew some other challenge was coming, and soon.

  The description said that the item I used it on could be destroyed in the explosion. I didn’t want to risk the lute, which appeared to be on its last limb already. I pulled the knife out of my inventory and sat it on the table.

  I performed Kinetic Overload, targeting the knife. The motif was a brief, chaotic series of notes that I plucked and strummed. My body knew what to do, which motions to make, but it required concentration.

  It only took a couple seconds—a notification appeared and minimized. A red glow emanated from the dagger laying on the pedestal.

  In the distance, the roots once again shifted as a portal opened. A ten-foot-long, snake-like humanoid slithered out. It had a muscular torso and four arms, each wielding a curved blade. I heard Helga curse behind me.

  “Shite, that’s a naga hatchling,” she crowed.

  I picked up the dagger as the naga began slithering towards me. Its rough scales scratched against the earthen floor, creating a sound that made my skin crawl. It was fast.

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