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Chapter 38: Remorse

  Choko and I discussed some brief strategy for a few minutes before I told her that I was getting hungry and wanted to eat dinner.

  We also decided that until we find out who the traitor is, our main goal was to limit the damage they could cause during the next few games.

  We couldn’t come up with a plan since we didn’t know the rules, but we agreed that I would use my logical reasoning and my ability to manipulate and orchestrate social dynamics to limit any damage while Choko watched everything carefully.

  She’d use her EQ to fill in any cracks I missed, and to observe for any signs from the traitor.

  I also told Choko that the traitor may use this downtime in between games to make moves on people once the games cause some fall out. To counter this, I told her that we should both do our best to interact with everyone at least once in between the games.

  We agreed that I’d handle Mei, Yori and Nobu and that she’d handle Osamu, Yaeko and Hibiki.

  After that, we went to the canteen separately since it’d be better to hide our alliance from the traitor.

  I sent her out of my room at about seven and I left my room at 7:30 so I had half an hour to eat before my meeting with Keiko’s boss, and I thought about everything that had happened since he tried to manipulate and rattle me.

  I smiled as I felt my new found resolve.

  I knew I wouldn’t let him get to me.

  I thought about how he kept saying I should throw away my empathy, but he couldn’t be more wrong.

  I arrived at the canteen to see Yori, Mei, Osamu, Yaeko and Choko all sitting together and eating their food. Their conversation ended as soon as I walked into the room, and I figured that Hibiki was still chilling in her room and would come by later, but I was concerned about Nobu.

  I knew that I’d already talked to him, but that wouldn’t be enough to undo all those feelings of betrayal he felt.

  I quickly pulled out my phone and sent him a message, asking him whether he’d like me to bring some food to his room again.

  After that, I walked up to the counter and saw both vegetarian and non vegetarian noodles. I grabbed the non veg noodles and I decided to sit by myself.

  I turned to Yori and Mei, and they both looked shocked.

  They called for me to join them, but I simply ignored them as if I couldn’t hear them because I’d realised that this was the perfect time to create disinformation for the traitor.

  It’s possible they’d know about my fall out with Yaeko and Osamu by now, but they’d be confused why I’d ignore Mei and Yori. If I could get them to assume our relationships were also damaged, then they might overstep and make a move that Yori and Mei wouldn’t fall for.

  That being said, I didn’t want to hurt Yori and Mei. Especially so given the fact that the traitor might not even be here to see this fake information.

  The only reason I ignored them was because I thought that they’d assume I wasn’t ignoring them, but that I was too scared to sit with Yaeko and Osamu after everything that happened between us.

  They were there when I exposed Yaeko’s manipulative side, and I assumed that Osamu would’ve already told them about the conversation we had in my room.

  I quickly finished my food and sent them a message, explaining that Osamu and I got in a fist fight and I didn’t want to sit with him and Yaeko. This way, they’d understand completely, even if Osamu didn’t tell them that already.

  I got back to my room at 7:55 and patiently waited.

  As soon as my phone’s clock reached eight, I heard a knock on my door and I opened it up to see Keiko waiting.

  She told me to follow her so I obliged.

  “Why’d you have dinner by yourself?” Keiko asked as she continued to lead me through a series of corridors.

  “I figured it was better to distance myself from Yaeko and Osamu for a bit.” She turned around and asked a follow up question.

  “What happened between you and Osamu?” She didn’t question anything that happened with Yaeko, suggesting that she already understood the logic behind my planned detonation.

  “Osamu came to my room and we talked. He ended up getting annoyed and he threw a punch at me.” Keiko blankly stared at me before asking another question.

  “I already knew that. I’m asking what you said to set him off.” I tried masking my surprise as I read her expression, and the stillness in her face suggested she wasn’t bluffing.

  “Did he tell Yori and Mei in front of the cameras?” She instantly chuckled before dismissing my question.

  “No, but it’s obvious for someone like us, isn’t it?” I swallowed as she turned and smiled at a camera.

  What did she mean by “someone like us”?

  “After you talked to him in the canteen, there’s no way he’d throw a punch unless you provoked him.” I noticed a trace of disgust as her face exited the camera’s view, so I tried regaining control.

  “How did you know he threw a punch at me?” She immediately turned back around and replied.

  “You’re trying to take control of the conversation?”

  She laughed as she watched me for a reaction.

  “Ok, fine. The cameras saw him clenching one of his fists as he walked out of your room, and rubbing his knuckles with his other hand.” She pressed her advantage as I stood in silence.

  “I also watched your move in the canteen, and I saw how Mei created an opportunity for the two of you to talk when you and Yori came back.” She stopped walking as she took a second to think.

  “Osamu’s too shy to throw a punch just because you insulted him, and the entire reason for your talk must have been to discuss your detonation… so what if he threw a punch because you insulted Yaeko?” Her playful demeanor vanished as she pressed harder.

  “You already exposed Yaeko for emotionally manipulating you guys… so what if you called Osamu stupid for falling for her manipulations? Would that be enough for him to punch you?”

  She saw the dry look on my face and decided to change the topic as she continued leading me to our destination.

  “Was your conversation with Nobu any better?” I questioned her motivations behind asking for a second, but I recalled our conversation after the first game.

  She was terrified of what someone with my skillset could do if I chose to hurt and betray the people I care about. When I showed her my humanity and how I like to use my skills for good, she felt an immense sense of relief.

  I thought that maybe she wanted to see me as a being that brings out the best in people, and I gave her that truthful image.

  I thought about the questions she asked me just now.

  She seemed entertained when she teased me about my fight with Osamu, but I heard her exasperated sigh and I saw those downcast eyes and that straight face when she turned her face away from the camera.

  What if she didn’t enjoy teasing me?

  What if she’s just doing it to entertain the audience because that’s her job?

  Now she’s asking me about Nobu. I quickly connected the dots from our previous conversation.

  Does she want me to beat the traitor?

  Does she want me to protect my friends even if it produced a less entertaining show?

  “It went well.” When she turned around, her eyes met mine with a warm smile.

  “He’s in a lot of pain, but I managed to break through to him. I let him know that I’d be there for him.” Keikos subtly nodded before continuing.

  “How did you force him to accept your points?” I took a deep breath as I felt the pressure ease up a bit. She knew that Nobu wouldn’t accept my points for free, but this question felt more innocent than her previous ones.

  “Once I broke through to him and started establishing a stronger connection to him, I told him that I was concerned about his point total. I knew he’d refuse to accept my points outright, so I challenged him to a game for them.” Keiko laughed as soon as she heard the words.

  “Did you really design a game that was guaranteed to give him points?” I decided to be honest since she’d clearly understood that I’d never risk eliminating him before I find out who the traitor is.

  “He could’ve technically lost, but I knew he’d be smart about it, and I knew he’d be able to guarantee himself some points. I just had to make sure I didn’t give up too many.” I could tell that she wanted to hear more details, but broke eye contact as she glanced at a camera. I noticed a smile on her face before she turned around, and we continued walking in silence before I asked a question of my own.

  “I’m assuming that we all played our first games simultaneously with different game officials.” Keiko turned around, waiting for me to finish my point.

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  “Was it just a coincidence that you were my official for the first game, and my group’s official for the second game?” She looked at the cameras for a few seconds and got no response, so she started explaining.

  “You’re the player that the audience is most interested in. Since I watched your first game, I knew the most about you so I was assigned to manage your group.” She looked back at the camera again but nothing happened.

  “I’m glad.” She softly chuckled as she turned around with a slightly confused expression.

  “Really? Why?” She quietly laughed to herself and continued leading me towards where I assumed her boss would be waiting for me.

  “Even though you’re doing a disgusting job, you seem like a good person. I’m glad I wasn’t paired with a vanilla official that subserviently followed orders and enjoyed tearing us apart.”

  She froze for half a second.

  I stared as she slowly turned around.

  “What?”

  Her voice was firm, but why is she so shocked?

  “Akira, what?”

  “I said-”

  “You’re glad that I care - You’re glad that I care and that I still take part in this?”

  Her intensity startled me, but I can’t figure out why she’s suddenly flipped like this.

  “Don’t you think it’s better to care than to enjoy our pain?”

  I watched as Keiko’s left hand curled into a fist.

  She took a few steps towards me until we were close enough for her to whisper.

  “Don’t you think it’s disgusting that I compromise my morals every single day?

  Don’t you think it’d be better if I was just sadistic and did this because I enjoyed hurting them?”

  She looked at me in shock as my lips curled into a smile.

  “Do you think that I’m disgusting because I compromise my morals by manipulating them to protect them?”

  I took a deep breath out as I watched her for any other tells.

  “Do you think it’d be better if I didn’t feel a single shred of remorse and I didn’t understand just how much I’m hurting them?”

  Her lips parted ever so slightly, and I watched as the intensity behind her eyes simmered down. I softened the tone of my voice as I kept whispering.

  “Why hadn’t you thought of that before?”

  She looked at me and swallowed, unable to form a response.

  “You thought I was sadistically breaking Yuto down for my own pleasure, but you saw the emotion I felt as a sign of my innocence.”

  I know that she knows what I’m about to ask her, so I gave her a second to brace myself.

  “What have you been through that makes you hate yourself so much, that you didn’t give yourself the same merciful proof of your own humanity?”

  We held eye contact for a few seconds before she silently looked away. I decided not to pry in front of the cameras, so I followed her in silence.

  It only took a few minutes, but we finally reached our destination.

  Keiko gave me a blank look before opening the door in front of us.

  The room was empty other than the two chairs and table in the room. There was one chair immediately next to the table, with the second chair being a bit further off to one of the sides. Keiko quickly took it, and I realised that it was a chair for an observer.

  I looked at the ceiling and I noticed a camera in each corner of the room. As I sat in the main chair, a voice came out of the speaker.

  “Have you thought about the advice I gave you?” It was undoubtedly Keiko’s boss. I’d recognise that voice and teasing demeanor anywhere at this point. I’d replayed our conversation before I went to Nobu’s room so many times that his voice was almost ingrained into my head.

  “No. I won’t ever throw away my empathy, but I did think about our conversation.” Keiko curiously looked at me before I continued.

  “You were right. My eyebrow did twitch when you said that I let my emotions get the better of me.” I confidently took a deep breath out as I smiled and stared at one of the cameras.

  “You did it because you wanted to prove to me that my empathy makes me weak. You did that because you wanted to manipulate me into realising that I have no other choice but to throw away that empathy. That way, I’d turn into another version of you.”

  I turned to face Keiko, making eye contact before turning around to look at another camera.

  “I’ve been waiting for my chance to thank you.” I paused and smiled at the cameras.

  “You helped me realise that no matter what happens, I can never throw away my empathy. It’s the only thing I have that keeps me human.” I chuckled again before finishing my point.

  “Thank you for showing me that I have to become strong enough so I can care about my friends without making mistakes because of that empathy.” A few seconds went by before he replied.

  “If that’s the path you want to take for now, then I guess I’ll let you hold onto your foolish beliefs. You’ll learn at some point, there’s no need for me to force it onto you.” He spoke with a slow cadence, and I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

  “On another note, have you figured out your “traitor’s” motivations behind entering you into this game?” I quickly weighed up the pros and cons of telling him the truth.

  I figured that he already knew that I knew, so I decided to tell him.

  “They want to use the prize pool as a means to break apart our friendships.” Keiko looked up at me with a blank expression as I finished speaking. She must already realised that I’d already figured it out, but I reasoned she was too busy thinking to give a proper reaction.

  “Earlier, you asked me what I was going to do about the traitor. Did you figure it out when you watched the game of ‘Democracy’?” Keiko looked at the cameras as we both waited for the boss’s reply.

  “You think you’re capable of protecting your friends. Admirable? Sure. Realistic? Absolutely not.”

  I won’t let his taunts shake me.

  “There’s only so much that one person can do. In order to save your precious friend Mei, you had to force your other best friend to manipulate Nobu. I wonder how Yori felt about that.” I hid my reaction as I realised that the traitor must have leaked intimate details about our friend group.

  He wouldn’t have assumed I was super close with Yori and Mei just because I sat next to them when I was reunited with the group.

  The more concerning thing is that he wouldn’t have made it that obvious unless he wanted me to realise that.

  “What’s more, Osamu even threw a punch at you!” He couldn’t be more condescending if he tried, but I didn’t let it shake me.

  Your precious friends also saw you expose poor Yaeko for no other reason than because you guys hate each other!” I laughed at the boss’s terrible attempt to twist the narrative. We both knew that wasn’t true, and we both knew that the people who saw it understand why I did it.

  “We both know that’s a lie, so why don’t we cut to the chase. Why did you want to talk to me?” I made sure not to let his words rattle me as I stared at the cameras with confidence.

  “You’re a fan favourite, Akira. A real super star of the show.” He paused and laughed before continuing.

  “I can talk to you whenever I want. This meeting wasn’t for me.”

  I immediately understood as I looked at Keiko and turned around to look at the cameras.

  I’d thought it was weird that they had a camera in every corner.

  They wanted every angle so they didn’t miss anything.

  “The audience has been dying to learn more about you. I will now open the floor for any questions”. He laughed before I heard a new voice speak out.

  “Akira, who do you think the “traitor” is!” A woman’s warm voice spoke out, and I instantly realised that I could weaponise this opportunity.

  I looked at the cameras as I made my declaration.

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