Six months after being reborn. To be honest not much happened. Master kept coming over twice a week and even helped me set up a mana gathering ritual to draw in more mana for me. I got some more books learned more about the world. First though I’d like to talk about the Poiwin Serfdom. When I first read it I thought ‘.’ I didn’t think much of it at first until I read other books about war. Those wars were much like the old European with huge armies meeting head to head. That was all of the wars except for this one. The Poiwin Serfdom used terrain advantage, small group tactics, ambushes, sabotage and I’m guessing spies. The last part was never mentioned but with there efficiency in laying traps, ambushes and sabotaging it was pretty clear. These guys were the only people to be recorded using these tactics, what did it win them? That empire. People were so scared of the Poiwin warriors that when they walked actually walked through the front gates and doors of the emperors castle they just let them. There leader or suspected leader walked right up to the emperors and fire balled his ass. No guards reacted nothing. After I thought about the spy thing I suspect that all of the guards were actually Poiwin infiltrators. My next thought is that the Emperor was poisoned to be more lethargic or something. My respect for these people increased by a large amount.

  I also learned that my country is a kingdom named Fryg the kingdom of the sky islands. The whole kingdom isn’t all in the sky but, while people have tried to take out kingdom they struggled. It was like trying to take an island nation while you were a land locked nation. Sure most of the world has air ships but military wise we have the best air ships. To our south is a kingdom that we have some peace with, it’s mostly them just not wanting to fuck with us. To out west and east are our strongest allies. To our north is a mountain range that most can’t pass unless they have air ships. So, any country that does try and attack that way will have to deal with our air force. All in all I don’t think I have to worry much about warring nations. I do have to worry about pompous nobles though. We have nobility and they are pretty much just owners of factories and businesses.

  I tried to get more information about the goddess on this world but the information wasn’t great. During that research I had the master pick up one of the goddesses religious texts. The damn book might as well be called a fiction with how inaccurate it was. The first hero was apparently killed by the Dark God, but his efforts brought reprieve for the ones illuminated by the light. Psh all bull shit, not even going to talk about the three years she dragged me around killing innocent people. Then the next hero finally killed the Dark God but unfortunately fell after the battle. I guess it wasn’t entirely wrong but she couldn’t even say that he suicide bombed himself. Also according to this book it has been about one hundred years sense my death. After I read the book I burned it, not sure if she did something to it but not wanting to risk it. Master laughed when I did that.

  I guess I should go over my magical progress. It is going. Back on Browen the fastest anyone has every reached the point where they couldn’t fit anymore without condensing was a year. It’s only been two months and while I have a head start I have noticed an unfortunate issue. My body keeps growing meaning that I loose some progress. So, I imagine I will get to the condensing portion by the time I fully grow so not for a few years, and I need to condense before I form my cores.

  *-*-*

  My first birthday, one year after my birth. I am now around three feet tall and my growth has slowed down. I used grow maybe half an inch every week but now it is closer to a month. This also means if am about the same height as the twins they are a bit taller but not by much. I have all of my teeth and fairly long hair. I also have defined muscles that threw my parents off which I found a bit funny. Yes your one year old daughter has biceps and abs hehe.

  Anyway back to birthday stuff. Birthday cakes are only a thing for nobles, upper middle class sometimes make a sweet pie like apple pie while others may get a fruit of their choice. I had to convince master not to get cake for me because my siblings would get jealous. My mom made an apple pie for us. Although I didn’t turn down the idea of cake so later master is going to take me to get more books and I will have cake their. Right now though I was in my room getting dressed up. While I did see a lot of purple as the Dark God I found I have a fondness for the color. Paired with gold colors ahh just a chefs kiss for it. Thankfully for me master seems to have some money laying around and we went to a tailors shop to get me a nice dress.

  It was something called a wrap dress. There was all of these technical words I didn’t care much for but, it was a deep purple with a gold colored strap sewn into it at my waist line, that strap had excess that I could tie into a ribbon which I’d like to note I got it first try. Thank you dexterity. One I got the dress on in the tailors and they brought me to a mirror I may have stood there for a bit to long because master made a comment about me being vain. I obviously ignored him and kept admiring myself. Now did he trip on an odd shaped shadow on our way out maybe. Was it me? Oh fuck yes I giggled so hard from that.

  Alright back to me getting all dolled up for my birthday. My mom was helping me with my hair. I could have done it by myself but it didn’t feel right. A bonding moment maybe? Once she was finished braiding my hair she brought out that hand mirror again. I have to say I am fucking adorable. Once the finishing touches were done and my mom took the mirror from me we went downstairs.

  “Happy birthday Sophia.” The whole family plus Master erupted once I got downstairs. I gave them all a big ol' smile and ran towards my dad and gave him a hug.

  “Happy birthday my little raven,” he said while rubbing my head. He started calling me his raven a few months ago. I asked him why. He said “Your hair is black, you are very intelligent and from what you Master said you use the dark element. Also I think ravens are very pretty.” So yeah I uh, I enjoy the term of endearment.

  “What did you get me for my birthday?” I asked with puppy dog eyes.

  “As I have said before you will have to wait.” I let out a sigh then turned to Master. Instead of his normal robes today he wore an elaborate suit with elaborate embroidery all over it. To the untrained eye it would just look colorful and fancy. But I could tell that the embroidery made up several spells. The embroidery made of a green thread was a protection spell, the embroidery made out of red was a strength spell, the embroidery of brown was a spell that removes dirt. The embroidery made of blue thread was a spell that kept someone cool. This embroidery was laid on top a grey colored suit with blue accents.

  “What did you get me Master? Also what’s with the different outfit?” I asked the first part with a cheeky smirk.

  “You will have to wait to find out what you are getting. And my outfit, well I couldn’t let my apprentice out do me.” He said with a smirk. I then turned to the twins.

  “What did you guys get me?”

  “Mom said we cant tell you.” Gale said.

  “Yup we can’t tell you.” Tara added. I pouted.

  “Okay, what next?”

  “Let’s go outside.” My mom said and walked to the back door. We all followed her. Going out side is always nice. Although no matter how much time I spend out in the sun I still stay pale as sin. Not that I have any qualms with it. In the backyard there was a table made from stone that Master must have made and on top was a pie and my gifts. There was one small wooden box, a large slim rectangular thing covered in cloth, and another box.

  “Gale, Tara let’s go first.” My mom said picking up one of the wooden boxes. She handed it to my brother and he ran up to me with it.

  “Here you go.” He said while holding it out to me. Inside the box was a simple wooden comb. It may be simple but it warmed my heart. I have never been given a gift of something simple like this. In my last life it was armor or weapons from my team. When I was kid then we were just simple farmers and I didn’t really get any gifts. On earth well I was happy with clothes or some electronic. This comb though, to me it represented a change. I was no longer the man before I am now me. A young girl, and a simple comb for a simpler life. While the goddess ruined my plans a bit I could still have a simple life.

  “Mom is Sophia okay?” Tara asked. I guess while I was lost in thought some tears appeared on my face.

  “She is fine.” Master said with a sad smile. My mom and father gave him a questioning look. “Some one once told me that the simplest thing in life are the best things. Sophia confided some feelings with me that I won’t mention unless she wishes me, but yes she is happy.” I never told him completely about my past but that man is smart and probably put some things together. I smiled up at the twins and wrapped them in a hug. While also discreetly whipping my tears on Gales shirt.

  “Alright what’s next?” I chirped. Master walked over to the rectangular object and pulled the cloth away. It reveled a mirror.

  “I thought about getting you some books but after watching you stand in front of the mirror for thirty minutes in the tailors I figured you would like one.” He said with a teasing smile. He wasn’t wrong I would love a mirror.

  “Master you made a mistake. I may even neglected my training on pur.. I mean on accident.”

  “Haha,” he laughed, “Then I will just have to drag you out.”

  “Alright you two it’s my turn.” My dad said and pulled something out of the box. He kept it in his palm and approached me. He reached his hand out to my head and placed something in my hair just above my ear. “Alright looks in the mirror.” So I did.

  I was stunned. It was a simple adornment. It was some sort of hair ornament, I think it was a barrette but the clasp was hidden behind my hair. The ornament on it was a simple wire out line of a crescent moon made out of a silvery metal. I know I was saying the comb represented my change but this did too to a different degrees. I guess the dresses should have too but, I don’t know they just didn’t. This jewelry plus the dress, the comb, my hair all together it was not who I was before. I think before I just played a roll. Now though seeing myself I don’t know if it is just a roll. It feels permanent. Before I was just running up to my dad when he got home to play that roll. Lately though I found a warming feeling in it. He, no my new family is a constant I can count on. Like my allies before, they were always by my side while we fought the Dark God. Then I lost them. I lost that constant of them and traded it for the constant of the empty castle. Now I have my new family. The twins may be annoying at times but when I do play with them I do have some fun, although they need to stop making me the monster in the hero vs monster game they like to play. My mom has started to grow distant ever sense we went to the masters bookshop but, we still do somethings, like my hair and I would even help with cooking. She even let’s me use my magic a bit to help when we are cooking. My dad well him and I don’t do much but we have our moments, I would sit in his lap and read the newspaper with him. Sometimes we would read a book or even just sit there watching the twins and there antics, I’d even help him clean the house a bit. It’s all small things but they mean the world to me. Master, when I am around him I let some of my walls down and him and I have had some talks that my parents would be very confused at how I knew some of those things, like politics. I was crying again while I stared at myself in the mirror and thinking about this.

  This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

  “I am Sophia Eleanor Valentine, not the Dark God, not Lucas, and not Marcus. I am Sophia Eleanor Valentine.” I whispered to myself.

  “What was that my little raven?” My dad asked.

  “Thank you guys.” I said then hugged him.

  *-*-*

  Later that day I was sitting with Master having cake in an office in the back of his shop. I haven’t had cake in so fucking long it was like water on a hot summers day. I let out a satisfied sigh.

  “That good?” Master asked.

  “I haven’t had cake in over seven hundred years.”

  “I keep forgetting that. Speaking of your age and your past. Would you mind sharing some stories with this young man?”

  “Sure. Once upon a time there was a simple farming man. He had a fascination with magic and his trusty chopping axe. One day while he was chopping some fire wood one of the workers rung a bell frantically. Usually if the bell was rung it meant food but, they had just had lunch. That along with the franticness meant something different, the dark scourge. The dark scourge were wild beast that would attack without thought or reason. Animal or human they did not care, I guess I should add elf into that too. Anyway the point is they killed mindlessly, there only goal was to cause chaos. The man ran to the main house along with everyone else. He took his trusty chopping axe and lined up with his fellow farmers. Some had scythes some had sickles, some hoes and other pitch forks. They stood ready to kill the beasts. They were not ready though. As they met the beast the young man watched as his friends were mauled and maimed. His anger his fear his grief all came together and showed him how to use magic. Bolts of raw mana shot out from him and pierced the beast. Some mana covered his axe giving it a sharper edge. He cleaved through the beast in ways he never thought he could. He let the anger guide him showing him how to use his weapon. It wasn’t enough though. He knew he could fight better so, he took another axe from one of his fallen friends that axe too was covered in mana and he himself became a beast. Guided by a force unbeknownst to him. It was as if he had instincts of his own guiding him showing where and how to cleave. After a couple minutes he finally killed all of the beasts. He stood there covered in the beasts blood exhausted but also invigorated. He had never felt more alive. After the fight they gathered the dead and completed there funeral rites. He vowed to himself that he would not let anyone else loose loved ones and that he would do anything to protect them. The next few weeks he would spend part of his day completing a dance with his axes. He didn’t really understand how he knew the steps all he knew was that they felt right. One day a team of adventurers were passing by and saw him practicing they approached him and offered to train him and help him kill more of the beasts and protect others. He joined them and learned… He fought by their sides watched them fall in and out of love.” I said that last part with a bit of a chuckle Jay always feel for the bar maids so hard, and fell out so hard too. “Sorry, just remembering an old friend. Anyway they fought, got hurt and bonded over the dumbest of things. Like there was this one stick that the leader picked up. That stick some how won them a battle they didn’t think they would win. I say stick but this thing was a fucking log. He carried it around for a month. We kept trying to get him to leave it that was until he barricaded a door with it and it saved our asses.” I started to giggle at Will's antics with that dumb log. He used it as a fucking body pillow. We made jokes about him and his morning wood.

  “Ah I like stories that have no moral and are just truth. It’s refreshing. You should tell me more stories about your old friends.”

  “Okay I got one. Ava she was our ranger she was damn good with a bow. Well we went on this quest to find a kitty. We only went on it because she really wanted to find this kitty and help it. When we found this cat she almost had a heart attack. She didn’t know cats can be born without fur. When she saw the thing she almost sent an arrow through the little guy. We had to stop her and she would not touch it or even look at it she was so distraught it took her a week and plenty of alcohol to come to terms with it. Me and another member of our party Jay, he was our backline mage sending spells long range to attack whatever we were fighting. Him and I couldn’t stop laughing at her reaction. Will spent that time taking care of the cat and consoling Ava. I know it’s a small thing but damn her reaction.”

  “I am going to be honest I have never seen a hairless cat an I might have the same reaction as her.” Master said with a chuckle.

  “Oh I kind of agree. I don’t see how some people find them cute but, I wouldn’t have that much of a reaction. Speaking of big reactions. Jay, he… well he was a big flirt and at one tavern he found a girl he fancied. Later that night he came running into my room and hid. Turns out that girl had some interesting, interests. She tried shoving a wooden dick up his ass. He was out of there so fast that he entered my room butt naked.”

  “Um. I probably wouldn’t tell others of that story.”

  “Oh shit yeah your right it is probably not right for a one year old little girl to be talking about this.”

  “Sophia. I’m sure it is obvious now but were you a man in your past life?”

  “Yeah, but I am me now. Sophia Eleanor Valentine. Did you know that in my previous life my name would sound like a vampires name.”

  “A vampire?”

  “Fictional monster that feeds on human blood. Anyway when I first found out my last name I first though. Great I’m destined to be a vampire. But then I found out you guys don’t have those.”

  “Alright. I have to ask. How are you coping with your new life.”

  “That’s hard to answer. It’s hard to explain, I like it. It’s different. I mean I always thought girls were cute, sexy and all of that stuff and now I am one. I know it might sound a but narcissistic but I enjoy when I get dressed up and look all cute. I like to have the thought of yeah you know I’m cute you wish you could be as cute as me. I enjoy those thoughts. As a man it was more yeah look at me I’m a badass. Now it is be envious, be enraptured by my appearance. Other than that when I look in a mirror I see me, not someone else. Back in my first life I remember looking in the mirror and thinking that isn’t me. In my second it wasn’t there as much but I still did see me. Then… well I don’t want to talk about that time but it wasn’t me it was just a roll I had to play.”

  “We will get back to those other parts but, first and second life?”

  “Yeah, not my first time around. I have my theories as to why but… I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Okay. So would you say you are adjusting well?”

  “Yeah. At first I kind of wrote it off but today. I don’t know. After the gifts and the mirror I realized. I am not those others I am me Sophia. Not the others. Sure the first two were also me but this feels different. I can look at myself and see me.”

  “I have heard what you are talking about. I have talked to some people were they would feel like they are not who they are. Like they are in some one else’s body and not their own. Some have tried to learn magic to alter their appearance but other then illusion magic no one has come close. The ones that use illusion magic just end up feeling even more apart from them self.”

  “We had a name for that in my first life. It’s called Imposter syndrome, or body dysmorphia. I know my area of fucked up is more akin to imposter syndrome. I felt like everything I had done wasn’t me like others weren’t seeing me. Like I wasn’t even seeing me. When I looked in the mirror I didn’t see me just someone else. Now though I do see me, I still feel a bit impostory but that’s because I’m hiding things from my parents and acting around them.”

  “I wanted to ask you about that. Do you see them as your parents.”

  “I don’t know if I would say that but more as they are family and if I had to destroy the whole world to protect them I would. I care for them like family. I care for you like that too I even consider you my family.”

  “Then why feel like an imposter?”

  “Because they don’t see the real Sophia, they see my front. I act a little dumber I don’t say things that I would say around you. I hide my true self from them. I am imposter in their family. A part of me hates lying to them. Am I really their daughter. I know I consider them family but, what if I told them the truth would they see me the same way. I’d be heartbroken if they were to disown me.”

  “Sophia. You might think it is an act and it might have been at first but, you see them as family. What makes someone a mother or father?”

  “Someone that cares and raises another and teaches them the rights and wrongs of the world no matter how skewed their view is.”

  “Do your parents care for you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do they teach you what’s right and what’s wrong?”

  “Not really but that’s because I already know.”

  “I hate to say this but it is an option. You could tell them and if things don’t work out you could just wipe their memories.”

  “Yeah no. I’d be heartbroken but, I’d have you. I’d stay with you and watch over them from a distance.”

  “Good. I was hoping you would say that. I think you should tell them. It’s better they know who you truly are.”

  “Master you don’t really know who I am.”

  “I have a good idea and I know why you don’t want to talk about. I know that, that goddesses texts are bull shit.”

  “Wait. You know.” I said staring at him like a deer in headlights.

  “You gave me plenty of hints. All I ask is why.”

  “To protect another world and Browen. I did things I’m not proud of and I am glade they are not completely in that book. It isn’t entirely wrong.”

  “I figured but, I trust you. My question earlier proved my trust right. If you had said yes I would have considered killing you. As much as it would have pained me having some one who would do something like that without a second thought.”

  “I get it. I would also like to make it clear that if someone found out my secret I would wipe their memories. If I thought it a danger to myself or others. I wouldn’t hesitate. If I had to kill them I would. I am not a good person. I have killed without thought before. I would probably do it again.”

  “Sophia you are very smart. Even if you did it without thought I would trust that you did it for a good reason.”

  “I have killed innocent people before.” I said slamming my hand on the coffee table we were sitting by.

  “Were they innocent?” he asked calmly.

  “Yes they were, their only crime was not following any religion!” I shouted with tears in my eyes. “I bargained to leave the children alive but knowing that BITCH she killed them after I left. I wish I never agreed to be her hero. I would have still have gone to the Dark God and confronted him. I would have listened to his truths, I would have never killed those innocent families. I would have never destroyed those cities I would have been a better person. I-I wouldn’t be here. I-I would finally be dead. I would have never been trapped in that castle.” I let out a sigh clearing my tears. “I would have doomed two worlds.” I sat back down slumping into the comfortable couch in Masters office. I would less call this an office and more of a living room with a desk in the rear. The shadows in the room that I was unconsciously controlling returning to their normal state. Master moved to my side and embraced me in a hug.

  “If you had the chance would you change anything.”

  “The only thing I would have done was become the Dark God sooner.” I said soberly. I wouldn’t say I was the best, but I was better than the previous Dark God. That guy was note saine.

  “So, are you going to tell them?”

  “It is probably better to do it now. Then the twins would only have a hazy memory of me if I am casted out.”