The interviews were held in a back room at their regular inn, the Muddled Mimic. A line formed out the door, until Ellen produced slips of paper with numbers then projected an illusory 1 over the door. After that, the interviewees spread out over the inn.

  Linar watched them all with a critical eye, “I don’t trust anyone who won’t drink before noon. A good adventurer must grab hold of respite when it’s to be had.”

  “I don’t drink before noon,” Syril said.

  “Me either,” Ellen added.

  “I do,” Grom said, holding up a mug.

  They all turned to Grom.

  “What? I am a dwarf. Its cultural.”

  “And you have a drinking problem,” Ellen added.

  “I see no problems with how I drink,” Grom defended. “I’m great at drinking.”

  “See?” Syril said, gesturing to Grom. “Not all clerics are puritanical. Some are in denial about their alcoholism. Not all paladins are going to be… what was it? Iron clad blow hearts?”

  “Sanctimonious, intolerant, hypocritical, iron clad buffoons,” Linar corrected.

  “Let’s get this started before people start to leave,” Ellen suggested, waving the man standing nearby over.

  ***

  “What would be your initial strategy when faced with a room with an archer, a mage and three combatants with clubs?” Syril asked

  The man sitting across the table from the three scratched his thick beard in thought. He was dressed for the interview, wearing a mix of steel and leather armor, with a large battle axe on his back.

  “What kind of creatures are they?” he asked.

  “Humanoids,” Syril provided.

  “I’d run at the mage.”

  “What about the club wielders?” Syril asked, quill waiting to write down the response.

  “I’m not worried about any wee clubs.”

  “Great, great, he’s a fierce warrior,” Linar said cutting in. “What is your opinion on the laws surrounding ownership and probable cause?”

  “Probable what now?” the man asked, looking to Syril to find out if he really needed to answer.

  “What’s your opinion on inter party relations?” Ellen asked, interrupting.

  ***

  “I’m just going to say it,” Syril said after hours of grueling interviews. “I liked the paladin.”

  The other three all let out groans.

  “What?” he asked, looking at the group. “I thought you were on board Ellen.”

  “She’s a woman,” Ellen said, as if that was reason enough.

  “So are you.”

  “Exactly,”

  “So what’s the problem with that?” Syril asked.

  “I’m not interested in women,” Ellen said.

  “What about that halfling?” Grom asked.

  “That was a mistake,” Ellen said.

  “I thought you agreed to stop sleeping with the new recruits,” Syril said, getting back to the point of the matter.

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  “I did…. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want a nice view.”

  “That’s a terrible reason,” Syril said, earning a shrug.

  “It’s not like these two are going to vote your way. This way it’s not a tie.”

  “Come on guys! She was perfect!” Syril said, looking at the two men in the group.

  “She was experienced,” he said, looking at Grom, then turned to Linar, “And her demanded cut was significantly below the market rate.”

  “She’s a devoted Cland follower,” Grom said. “I can’t risk it.”

  “Her views on ownership are frankly rigid and outdated,” Linar added.

  “Fine,” Syril said, throwing himself back in his seat. “Which one do you guys like?”

  “I like the stupid one,” Ellen said.

  “Which one?” Syril asked with a laugh.

  They argued for a while about their picks. Syril advocated for the ones that showed some tactical know-how, while Ellen did the same for her favorites based on looks. Grom argued against any with a hint of devotion to Cland, while Linar’s opinion was largely ignored.

  “I heard there was an interview today for an adventuring party here?” a deep voice asked at the bar, cutting through the din and arguments.

  All their eyes turned to the speaker in time to see Sal pointing at them with an uncomfortable grin.

  Bill stood there, adventure board notice in hand, looking deflated at the realization.

  “I probably should have realized based on the location,” Bill muttered to himself, walking over despite the tension.

  “Hi Bill,” Syril greeted, why Linar rapidly scanned the warrior for signs of aggression and Ellen avoided making eye contact.

  “Syril,” he said with a nod. Then he turned to Grom and gave an uncertain bow. “I never got a chance to thank you for what you did.”

  “Ah, um,” Grom said, equally uncertain. “Don’t mention it—really. I’d rather it not get around.”

  “Too late for that,” Bill said. “The news is already spread pretty far.”

  Grom let out an angry sigh and pulled at his beard.

  “So…” Bill said, looking back at Syril. “I hear you need a warrior.”

  ***

  “How would you handle a room with a caster in the rear supported by an archer and three melee combatants,” Syril asked Bill after they’d reluctantly admitted to giving him an interview.

  There was no real reason he’d been kicked out of the team beside the default assumption that he’d not actually want to continue to adventure with them after the debacle of their last dungeon delve.

  “I… well,” Bill began, speaking to Syril, “Usually you just say what to do when the fight starts, and I do that.”

  Syril smiled at the answer.

  “No more questions from me,” Syril said.

  “Can you agree to not ask me any questions about Cland or your resurrection?” Grom asked next.

  “Well,” Bill said, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. “I’ve never actually been that religious. I’m thinking now maybe that was a mistake, but I owe you my life so if that’s what you want, I can’t exactly say no.”

  Grom gave a satisfied nod.

  “You didn’t come back here for me, did you? Because… I don’t think that’s going to work out,” Ellen asked.

  Bill shook his head, this time with a rueful expression.

  “That was a mistake,” Bill admitted. “Sharon left me, but she was right too. I’ve been a bit of a mess these past few years, and dying has really crystalized that for me. I need to rethink things before pursuing another relationship and interparty romances seems like a mistake and…”

  He trailed off at the end.

  “And what?” Ellen asked.

  Reluctantly, Bill continued, “Once Sharon mentioned the noodle arms, I can’t really unsee them.”

  “No more question,” Ellen said, face growing a little red.

  The room grew silent as all eyes turned to Linar who was staring daggers at Bill.

  For his part, Bill looked back at him with a small amount of disdain.

  “Are you going to try to kill me in my sleep?” Linar asked.

  “Are you going to abandon us and never show up?” Bill shot back.

  They stared at each other longer until eventually Linar spoke.

  “Alight, he can stay,” Linar said after a moment.

  “Neither actually agreed,” Ellen whispered to Grom.

  “No,” Grom agreed. “They did not.”

  ?

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